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// I fear that word 
// Story: Bloody tears 
// by xluferx 
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A great land, where harmony and peace ruled,  after so long was witness of a battle which decided the fate of the land, nothing is free; the battlefield once used to be a beautiful landscape. Now only one can dream of what it used to be.
The decisive battle was one to be immortalized in history books, it was a battle between the good and evil, between hope and despair, between opposites. And each side had its champion who never gave a step back only step forwards creating coalition of power. Each coalition was filled with power, from afar others were able to see them. Sometimes when all hope is lost one small light will shine in the vast sea of eternal darkness; and that small light will be enough to vanquish all darkness and return the hope. The hope that one of the warriors had been searching for so long to the point he gave up when his searches were for naught, yet the light was right there, right in front of him. His hope finally returned, yet the hope that he craved was completely different from others. His hope was an impossible weight that was placed upon him, with lacking strength or what remained of his original strength couldn’t hope to keep up the pace, his legs acted as frightened children in the dark, the defeated warrior could see how his will to fight let him as his strength; the double- edged silver sword buried itself deep in the ground serving a different purpose rather than slaying the enemy, be the support of a pathetic state of a defeated warrior who could no longer fight even if his life was at stake. Is odd, but for him that was his own definition of hope, it was the delicious taste of finally being defeated, the sweet revenge against his eternal tortures letting them know that they failed, that their most powerful weapon was bested; and rendered useless.  
The scent of burned ground and melted metal was still around, the only thing he could feel and accepted it as the most divine of smell that his nose could receive. 
Such Blessings were upon him he wasn’t worth of them, yet he was receiving constant blessings.
The blessings of defeat.
The sky finally expressed its sadness, tears from the sky fell to the ground, just like his arms fell to his sides; followed by the sword which landed in opposite direction where he was creating no sound at all, such occurrence was odd by nature yet he couldn’t bring himself to even care for such small and insignificant occurrence.
Now the wind sang its pity just for him, despite he was wearing his symbol of pride and despair he felt how the wind caressed him and his uncountable wounds somehow showing its care for him, leaving no place untouched; but when it finally reached his back something was amiss. Something very beautiful and at the same time horrible, was taken from him and that brought him morbid relief, the assurance that his pairs of wings had been removed by a swift slash of his adversary. His wings were spiritually with him but not in the real world, not anymore. Hopefully they will serve to feed the wildlife or the plants that hopefully grow in due time.
Pain.
That could bring him to the reality rather than constantly lie to himself about the present.
The agony that he could feel if he could actually feel at all. The physical feelings were void, but the physiological ones were a story for later time.
Pleasure?
Or sadism?
It didn’t matter to him, because all centered in one simple fact, he failed on his imposed mission.
‘Such a pity’
The flame of rage ignited once again, fueling his will to fight one more time but not against his adversary, against them; his eternal tormentors. 
‘But fret not, your defeat shall only delay the inevitable, capitulation is for mortals. We promise you to reborn as the perfect warrior ready to serve us and swear the undying loyalty which you should have given to us since the beginning.’
That promise impacted him in the worst way possible, as if an infected blade pierced his flesh burying itself deep within him; and rip apart his heart. All what he wanted to say shall be heard in silent words of regret and hate.
‘Your weakness such as emotions shall disappear from the plain of existence. But we will never fulfill our promises meanwhile you stay in the mortal plain; your current body served its purpose and became useless in the process. Our divine protection leaves you, don't keep us waiting.. ’
The dream, the bliss, the fake reality ended; it was time to wake up.
The symphony of death could be heard on the battlefield in all its morbid glory, if there was only an audience to appreciate it; they surely would give mercy upon the soul. There was no place forgotten by the agony; but everything has to meet an end.  Shattered bones took over the symphony, destroying what little support existed on him. 
A veil of warmness enveloped his whole body, it was a comforting feeling in comparison of what he previously experienced, it could be compared to be embraced by the one who he couldn’t tell the word. He was finally blessed with mortals blood, the substance that made him different from others, one of the many things he lacked before. Being bathed by his own blood brought a smile on his lips, he was experiencing to be human once again.  
Death by sword, death by broken bones, death by bleedout. There is no difference, you die at the end.
Yet happiness overwhelmed the suffering, his own happiness. The only one in existence who craved for death, so his never ending punishment at least could come to a halt, even if it was temporary. But the same hated words echoed in his mind over and over again until few important words stayed  there.  
Reborn.
Emotions.
Disappear.
Becoming a puppet brought misery on him, and this time was not going to be different; he would remain as a puppet but with the exception that he was going to be cleaned of everything. Cleansed or wiped out, it didn’t matter; removing the guilt from him, lifting the heavy weight of sins from his being and destroying what made him human.
Feelings no more…
The so desired tool.
Forgetting the identity which gave him the power to fight against them.
The promises would be broken and there was not going to be repercussions.
Everything was going to be forgotten, no exception.
But what was the thing that kept him alive?
He should have died time ago, something...better said somebody gave him  strength to fight the death and force it to wait until he decided when to leave.
She.
She was the reason.
And he was going to forget her.
The only thing he cared.
A small spark attempted to ignite his flame to fight for her, so the memory of her would remain.
But when the truth had been spoken, that little spark was wiped out of existence.
Yet he didn’t want to accept it.
“Gale…” The voice from his adversary spoke, the victor has all the right to speak unlike the other who shall remain silent. Perhaps there was pride on him? 
At being fairly defeated by his adversary in combat perhaps? 
Or another feeling, mixed with others that couldn’t give a clear description of what he should actually feel. After all…
She was his adversary and the only one who stood on his way.
She was the champion who stood for everybody hopes and dreams, while he was the bringer of destruction and despair.
In front of him a hero stood.
And on the ground a monster waited to be executed.
The ground looked so lifeless, the wish of looking at her beautiful form one more time was one to leave only to the imagination because the present was  another. Waking up to the reality brought upon his shoulders his guilt; the sins crawled on his back and the regret placed its hands on his throat to attempt to end his life.
One could only hope for his last wishes become true, at least for a miserable glimpse of time his eyes wanted to be blessed by the sight of her beautiful smile accompanied by those kind cerulean eyes which never ceased to warm his heart; connecting his eyes with hers felt like she was caressing his very soul. And her long hair was hypnotizing.
Unworthy.
Not even insect would dare to feast on his body.
Nothing should get near him, yet the sound of the ground arrived at his eardrums; it was getting louder as the time passed, the dirt being crushed by the weight of the owner who was closing distance with his pitiful position. There was no need to look up, even if he could, to deduce who was the one standing right at front of him looking directly at him with a piercing glare that was able to reach his soul.
“Why?” 
A simple word that came from her mouth was the most beautiful of music in existence, it brought some relief and comfort to the constant state of suffering. But when the meaning of the word brought grief upon his whole being, nothing could compare to the pain that it caused to him hearing her to speak with a hidden dread.
“Why did you turn yourself into the path of darkness?!” His actions did something to her that could be compared to kill her, like he grabbed her heart and stabbed several times not giving time to the wounds to heal. Even if the actions  were not from his own accord, he was still responsible.
Many things wanted to be said, but they just stayed on the knot of his throat which his mouth transformed in never ending laboured breaths. 
But she would never know the so deserved answer which could bring peace to her troubled mind.
“So your answer is nothing?”
Self-hate consumed his entire being at being unable to utter a single word to her, the agony of life was still present; accompanying him on his journey to meet death. The inability to do nothing was a consuming feeling which he couldn’t tolerate yet nothing could be done to him rather ening his time.  What should been a pleasant memory of dying as a human turned into a torturous end of a monster facing its uncountable sins to the one it...cared...cared so deeply.
“ANSWER ME!” Nothing could be answered but she didn’t know, ignorance is a bliss sometimes and other times is a curse.  Many feelings feeling invaded her with force, lashing out on him wouldn't change a thing of the past; and what her her heart was feeling probably would never heal, all those years became void. 
Time lost...
No, it couldn’t be called such. 
But one thing was for sure, the explanation which she deserved needed to be told. And he was going to answer to her demands.
But silence.
Utter silence, excluding the cries of sky and the wind. Watching his immobile form, brought back memories of their time together when he was still the one she...felt something. In a vast green landscape filled with flowers both of them rested under a tree, with her resting her head on his shoulders while he gave her protection with both arms as one of his hands carefully and… caressed her hair. 
The same hand which held hers.
The same which silenced her.
The same which held a sword.
“ANSWER ME PLEASE!”
The sky was not alone in its cry anymore, the comfort what the ground gave was very little and the wind could only pass around her trying to dry the constant tears which never ceased to fall from her constant sadness.
“PLEASE!”
Victors shouldn’t beg, victors shouldn’t cry, even more victors shouldn’t feel the pain of loss.
So why she?
Because he was important to her.
The fierce battle caused her a lot of wounds, but they were countable unlike her enemy; every time she moved her torso her back screamed; a broken bone was clearly there which claimed her ability to fly, thankfully it will heal in its due time and with the proper treatment. 
“ANSWER ME GALE!”
Desperation to not know the reasons behind the act, an brin to do things that one will later regret. Perhaps the consequences didn’t matter because that’s for the future to take care of; the present is what mattered to her and knowing the answer was the only objective in mind with determination to achieve it.
There was something that hadn’t been said before and should have been mentioned, one do not cry because is weak, because he or she was too strong.
With the same strength she cleaned her face from all trace of tears being aware that the rain was still pouring down, turning her attempt of dry all supposed weakness in naught. What would the future be to her?
The blunt answer is that she didn’t care anymore, she just wanted to have him close to her once again, yet only coldness she received rather than the warmness she always liked, the weight on her right shoulder wasn’t one which she was accustomed; and the breaths which her ears perceived were from a dying man. 
It felt like the entity of death was pulling him away from her but she didn’t want it to take him away from her, she didn’t want lose him again. Both arms prevented that from happening metaphorical speaking, she wished that her gesture would be replied in kind.
What a stupid wish.
It was time to act without caring for the consequences.
She could lose her ability to use magic for centuries, but the answer was more important, centuries is nothing for an immortal being after all. Exhaustion both mentally and physically were not limits for her and her will to pursue her goal; the possibilities of succeeding in her plan of desperation were slim but the immense hope she was holding on those numbers was to be appraised.
In the battlefield no light shines, but right at the middle where everything took place a blinding flash occurred, but nobody was there to witness the light. That light held hope in all its glory, hope that slowly died away with the time passing as the rain did. 
The environment didn't’ change, everything remained the same but one thing probably changed for the better, her efforts should result in success but the answer is only one and it wasn’t revealed yet. 
The deadly silence pierced her soul and heart together, the more time it passed the deepest the wound became on her. The big sacrifice she did might have been in naught, since only silence accompanied her in her mourning.  Staring at his him where a warm smile should be rather than a lifeless silver helmet, where his eyes should connect with hers and get lost in them.
Again nothing came back.
Perhaps things should remain like they should, perhaps things happened to teach her a lesson; but about what?
What lesson could she get from this torture?
What was the purpose of such a thing?
Nothing.
Her mind was clear as the water, she opted to didn’t care.
For the moment, she only wanted to share something special with him. Very small but not insignificant touches attempted to make her lips to smile at the situation; which in other circumstanceS he was the one who held her just as she was doing with his body;then they would connect and became one. However she couldn’t bring herself to repeat the past, offering her shoulder once again was the only thing she could do.
The small moment shared between them should have lasted forever, or be immortalized somehow.
But it didn’t.
And never did.
“Lu-Luna…” 
Hear her name never have filled her heart with so much joy and hope for a brighter future, it was like everything returned what it used to be. Wishes were made, specially to hear him call her one more time and enjoy his words as the most exquisite of wines.
What happened moments before between them didn’t matter anymore, the present mattered more than ever. And the success of her goal was becoming reality, the same hand that had done so many things to her gave her encourage to continue when it did some pressure on hers trying to find its way to connect with her fingers.
But then it just retracted and returned to the dirt where it belonged.
“Please… stop…” Why everything has to meet an end? It wasn’t fair.
“NO!” From the dirt she brought it back and and held on it like her life depend on it, allowing that self-torture would only lead to more pain. Both of them had gone though a lot and didn’t want more, but she couldn’t speak on his behalf.
“Please, Luna…finish…what I have started”
“NO!” 
Again her heart felt being stabbed, what should have brought some comfort to her was only causing her to grieve even more. The thought of ending him was present, and became stronger the more pain he caused to her by requesting such things especially after what she did for share a moment with him.
“Luna this…is my last wish”
Liar.
His last wish is completely different from the one his mouth is spelling, even the earth can tell his lying mouth. A tongue being cut is what pestered his mind for lie to her and made her suffer more.
“Not until you answer me Gale!” Her wish was going to become reality at any cost.
“Why did you do it? 
Silence.
“Why did you choose the path of darkness? “
Silence can kill.
“WHY?!”
“Is...my purpose of existence.”
Power.
Riches.
Knowledge.
Kingdoms.
Anything would have been a perfect answer to her, but what the mouth of her once enemy rendered her mouth useless to even spell a letter, she wasn’t able to describe what her emotions were experiencing. Accepting the truth as whole might be an impossible task, that will never be seen as possible in a foreseeable future.
She was strong, she knew it.
So, why her face felt so coldly warm again?
How she could tell the difference between a drop of the sky from  one coming from her?
The knot formed on her throat tightened, preventing her to move her lips. Nothing was there to bite and vent all the emotions; only teeth met creating an irritating sound to her ears and discomfort to her jaw.
“I...I can’t bring myself to hate you, and...and I should. But what we...we shared was very special and I want things to return where they once were. I want you to be by my side; I want you to accompany me on my lonely nights so they will not be lonely again, I want you to grab my hand when we become one.”
“An-and if what you speak is true, how can you explain me everything that I mentioned before?
“Perhaps...I can’t.”
“I know you can, I believe in you.”
An angel was in front of him, and eyes stained by the mere action of cry couldn’t hope to change her in the slightest. The angel gave him the true meaning of hope with  single sentence; also the nostalgic sentiment  which was indirectly directed to him.
“I am their tool, their puppet; I exist to serve them.” An undeniable truth but half-truth, he didn’t mention that it was not his choice and never had a choice to begin with.
“Who are they, Gale?”
“They are the gods who ruled over my home, they are the bastards who I serve; they feed on everything that is not happiness or joy. They are monsters.”
“I used to be normal, and they turned me into their plaything; I...my...I only exist to serve them.”
“Please look at me Gale.”
It was too much to ask from him, the consuming self hate spread all over his entire being after receiving the healing touch of her magic. Death was delayed, despite he was fighting against it he didn’t want her to interfere with his battle. He wasn’t worth anymore.
“Say it, and show them who you really are.”
Impossible, he couldn’t bring himself to ever do that to her; to even dare to spell a single letter of the word.  She was the world for him, the sky was represented by her beautiful eyes which stared at him with hope that he would comply with her request. But sometimes the best answer can be a question.
“Can you...say it?”
It was swift and quickly, then his skin was able to experience the rain at its fullest doing its best to clean him from the bath of blood. A weight was lifted from him, only to be replaced by another kind of weight on his heavy heart. The same sky that he started moments before turned into a storm of rage, but as every storm it was accompanied by the rain.
He hurt her again and himself even more.
He was able to see his reflection from above, where her hand held the object that would bring an end to his torture. It was matter of time before that fell and ceased the light of his own eyes forever, he wanted it to happen but he couldn’t speak for her since she wanted something from him which he couldn’t bring himself to fulfill.
He couldn’t see his reflection anymore, only the blackened sky.
“Why did you stop?”
No answer.
“Please, end the life of a monster and become a hero.”
“STOP DEGRADING YOURSELF!”
The roar of utter sorrow almost made him deaf at the instant, but the message was clear.
“You are Gale, a noble soul, the defender of the weak, a knight of Equestria,  a bringer of hope, a man who can be trusted, a great friend and a...my…” Where did the rest go? Why did it stay on the tip of her tongue? How is that difficult to say?”
It was a lost cause.
She could only feel his skin on hers, missing his caring touch; with sadness his face slowly was cleaned bringing back to light the face that she used to see every day before the fateful day. His smiles always brought a warm sensation on her, his gentle grey eyes always gave a sensation of safety, the small nose compared to a normal pony which she liked to touch only to tease the owner. Despite the two scars under his eyes, nothing from there gave her a bad feeling.
“I am the herald of darkness, created by the power of Ziseron, wielder of the weapons of despair forged by Qiunn himself, slayer of the weak, the angel of death and destroyer of uncountable towns starting with my hometown Daniur.”
Truth on his words, silenced by a single finger placed on his lips. For the first time he was silenced by her, what should have happen on the contrary when she wanted to say that word to him.
“Does it matter?”
Despite what happened, despite his actions; she was willingly so willingly to start again, what he had done to deserve her? It was his time now to let it go, to stop being strong for a while and let his own eyes clean his stains.
For her.
It was time to let him rest, being near her heart was the place where he would find comfort which he so badly needed; but tears couldn’t undo the past and neither would forge the future.
He didn’t want any of that, but happened.
He just wanted a normal life, but couldn’t
He wanted to protect his people, and failed.
He wanted to find that special one, and found her.
He wanted to be her side for the rest of his day, and he did.
“I remember the day when I met you like it was yesterday, the night had fallen; and the stars were shining more than ever. You were there on a small mountain stargazing my sky, and I decide to accompany you that night showing more of my stars and telling you their respective names.”
“You believe that there is no other way, but there is always one, you only need to search for it.”
He was on her warm comfort, caressing more than his long hair; his chained soul. 
“They will  not capitulate, they will try again.”
The embrace became stronger.
“Let them try and fail, because we will be prepared.”
“W-We?”
“Of course Gale, we; together we will face them.”
“I will find a way to save you, I know I can save you, just stay with us-me.”
The ground doesn’t have answer, so why he was looking there for answers?
The opportunity was presenting to him even he never expected one, perhaps she was right all along. 
“I...I-I can’t….”
“You only gave more time on this world, more time to still be myself. You are completely aware that I have to leave.”
“And when I return, I will not be myself anymore because I will become what I hate...what I fear.” 
Sharp pain spread all over his face, but the pain was completely ignored for the shock at what just happened. He was expecting it, he deserved it. 
He didn’t have the right to be shocked at all.
After all it was matter of time.
“Lu-Luna...I-i…”
Luna couldn’t explain her feelings and probably nobody could help her, but what she did just needed to be done.
And this time she regretted it.
“Please forgive me, I didn’t know-” Her voice faltered the moment she saw his face again.
There he was; resting on her lap with the smile that always caused her to get flustered at the mre sight of it. The best course of action was to reply in kind, and let a giggle leave her mouth.
He was there like nothing happened, on his normal attire made by the Element of Generosity while she was on her formal long blue dress.
The wind was kind enough to send a gentle breeze to them, the sensation was blissful creating a moment of bliss to both of them. However after opening her eyes she noticed that they were under a tree, or better said the tree where they always meet for their moment together. Is not old but neither young, it was enough to provide protection from the sunlight; but at the same time provide a warm weather to both of them. 
Birds began their singing which she welcomed with a warm smile.
Everything was like she remembered.
It was what she always wanted.
A peaceful moment that they can only share together.
Then she started to play with his hair, forming small curls or using them to pretend to be playing music that she could only hear through her mind; but she wasn’t like that for him she cleared her throat and bliss his eardrums with her sing of a single letter.
He didn’t say anything, but his closed eyelids and the smile showed that he was enjoying her beautiful voice. And that alone couldn't bring more happiness to her heart, which was beating fast, sending  blood on her face getting her all flustered again.
She didn’t stop as her eyes focused on the blue sky, many thought invaded her mind as one single thought nagged deep inside her head trying to tell her something important but she didn’t care for them at all. The future with him was everything that her mind was focused in, the proposal, the wedding, the night where they will consummate their feelings and if is even possible…
A family.
However the sky was appreciated long enough, she couldn’t leave Gale unattend, maybe he could get jealous. 
What a laugh that thought was to her, how would that be even possible?
Well, the affairs of the heart can’t be explained.
Again, he didn’t move. 
He was right there, except that he fell asleep.
She couldn’t blame him, her voice always did that to him. She couldn’t wait for him to wake up and tease him for falling asleep again only to see his goofy reaction.
Then something needed to be done, her mind screamed at her to do it. This time he wouldn’t be able to silence her with his careful touch. 
Doing it probably would give him  a pleasant dream and maybe just maybe reply her with the same heartwarming sentence which she wanted to hear since the beginning.
It was their secret spot, yet she couldn’t help feel sure that nobody was there to hear her say it. It would be so embarrassing if somebody saw her saying it.
With nobody around she still didn’t felt safe.
Leaning closer was her improved solution.
“I love you Gale.”
And her heart immediately send cold blood all over her body, creating a sensation of heart attack. She never thought that saying it would feel so..
So…
So painful.
Why does her heart was hurting?
Her body couldn’t stop trembling, it was as if winter arrived sooner than expected and she was in the middle of it. 
Her eyes didn’t stop from producing drops which continuously bathed her face; a knot was so tightly around her throat to the point that her mind believed that she was lacking of oxygen.
But after realizing what she said, everything mentioned before didn’t matter to her anymore. She finally said it and couldn’t wait to wake him up to see his reaction.
Just below her the answer of all her questions was lost forever.
Because he fell asleep with the help of a small obect placed right where his heart should be.
“Gale…wake up.”
Few were answered and many were left untold.
“Please, wake up.”
The rain stopped, so the sun could show its presence.
He was really tired, that could explain why he didn’t wake up with her calls. Maybe if she tried a little harder he could wake up.
“Come one, we have things to do.”
Her hand tried to find her way to held his.
Only when it finally reached its destination it grabbed another thing that felt soft yet cold.
The curiosity forced her to see what was that strange which her hand grabbed instead of Gale’s hand.
Dust.
She could only see white dust where his lower body and arms should be.
Before she could process the consequences of her action, it was already too late to do something about it.

The wind already took him away.
Leaving behind the strange object. 
Better said
The dagger that SHE impaled on his heart.
The hero won the war by slaying the monster, but a big sacrifice had been done which she couldn’t take back no matter what.
But the truth is that there are no winners on a war.