Twilight’s Big Date
Twilight straightened her dress and fixed her makeup. She then immediately checked those last two things from her checklist. Before heading downstairs, she reread the latest letter from her pen pal. It was filled with sweet words. She triple checked the address and directions to the restaurant. She giggled to herself.
One last check of herself in the mirror and she was off.
As she stepped downstairs, an indignant Spike blocked her path to the front door. “Time for a little face time, I see.”
Twilight huffed. “I don’t see why you have to be so critical of Sidd Roc. He’s been nothing but nice to me since we started dating.”
“Dating? You’ve been writing love letters back and forth! This will be the first time you’ve seen him in person!”
“So what! We communicate to Princess Celestia through letters all the time.”
Spike was pleading. “We know the princess. We met her in person lots of times before the letters! Twilight, I don’t want to see you hurt. This is just a bad idea.”
Spike folded his claws and stood in front of the door, blocking Twilight.
Twilight was done arguing. She had been looking forward to this date for months, and hell or high water, she was going on this date! “Fine Spike, I admit it. This is a bad idea.”
Spike was about to say something, but choked on his words.
“Spike, I know this might end badly. But any relationship can end badly. I can’t spend my prime locked up in my library anymore. My brother is already married, my friends are dating, and even you have a girlfriend. I can’t be left behind.”
Spike was amazed, yet stalwart in his position. “But Twilight! Dating through a mail service? There are so many horror stories.”
Twilight had had enough. “You know what the horror story is? Being a virgin at my age!” With that, she teleported Spike out of her way and stormed out the door.
* * *
The restaurant was just south of Ponyville, and required a long trot to get there. Plenty of time to cool her head. Twilight had mapped out the route and had walked it for practice, so she knew exactly how much time it would take.
As she passed Sweet Apple Acres, she caught something strange out of the corner of her eye. It looked like Princess Luna, only she was smaller and had a plain blue mane. She looked pretty much as she did when she had just been defeated as Nightmare Moon. She was wearing a flannel shirt and overalls, pulling a plow through a fallow field.
“P-Princess? Is that you?”
Luna did not respond at first. When she did she blushed terribly. “Oh, yes. Twilight Sparkle. Applejack speaks of you highly.”
“You’re working as Applejack’s farmhand?! When did this happen?”
Luna walked over to the fence sheepishly. “Oh, yes. I feel responsible for her since I was the one who saved her life. Now that she is with foal, she needs someone to do the heavy lifting around the farm. I decided to live here for a while as a favor.”
This was more than a favor. There had to be more to it than that. A momentous thought occurred to Twilight Sparkle. Luna knows who the father is. Leaving the second highest seat of power to work on a farm? It must have something to do with the foal.
Being duplicitous was not one of Twilight’s strong suits, but she wanted to know Applejack’s secret very badly. “So, Luna. This is really great that you’re doing this for Applejack! You must be the most generous pony in all of ponyville!”
“I-I am?” Luna has somehow become even more self conscious.
“Yes. I’m very impressed to have a good friend who is so giving and nurturing!”
“Really?”
“Oh, Indeed. We really should get together and chat. I’m off to a date right now, but I’ll stop by next Tuesday and we can talk about all sorts of things.” Twilight quickly made her exit. She had set the trap and she would spring it later.
As the purple unicorn disappeared down the road, the princess of Equestria paused. “Twilight Sparkle? On a date? What a silly idea.” Then she continued fertilizing the crops.
* * *
Twilight arrived at the Che Pony with fifteen minutes to spare. “This is great.” She sat down in the lobby and waited. “I’m sure he’ll be here any minute.”
Those fifteen minutes passed.
Perhaps he had already arrived? Twilight spoke to the maitre d. “Has a pony named Sidd Roc been seated recently?” The maitre d did not see his name on the list. Disappointed, she sat back down.
Five more minutes. Still no one.
The purple unicorn was getting hungry, and decided it would be best to at least be seated. Surely he would come by in a few minutes. After a few minutes of filling herself on bread, no one came.
Twilight Sparkle was about give up hope when she heard a voice from behind her. “Hey gorgeous! Sorry I’m late.”
And so her date had arrived. It was Discord. He sat down on the table with a big grin on his face.
He had shrunk himself down to a reasonable size and had obviously cast some sort of illusion spell on himself. Twilight was the only one cognizant of a draconequus sitting in front of her.
Twilight was dumbstruck in ways she had never been dumbstruck before. She had prepared herself for the picture she had received to be a lie. She had even prepared herself for Sidd Roc to be a ‘Roc’ the ancient birds of legend large enough to hold an elephant in each claw.
It was only now that she realized SIDD ROC was an anagram of DISCORD.
The wind was knocked out of her, but Twilight managed to utter a few words, “How can this be...”
“You see, it all started when you bested me with the elements of harmony. I was genuinely impressed. I didn’t even see it coming! You have to get up pretty early in the century to put one over on Discord!
“I was defeating you because you’re evil!”
Discord continued. “...And that got me thinking.”
“I hope you didn’t hurt yourself.”
“You see, we’re made for each other. Two sides to the same coin.” He snatched a coin from inside Twilight’s ear. After showing it to her he turned it around and the coin disappeared. “Oh, sorry. That was a 1-dimensional coin. You do have 2-dimensional money on you, right?”
“You want me to pay for the meal, too?”
“Don’t worry. We’ll split the check right down the middle. Now, where’s that lobster tank? I need to wash my hands...”
“Discord, you crashed my brother’s wedding and nearly ruined everything! “
“Oh my word! Princess Cadence is your brother?!”
“What? No! Shining Armor is my brother!”
“Hmmm. Yes, that would make more sense. Look, I’m sorry. That was just me venting. I was just trying to get back at Celestia for my imprisonment. I didn’t even realize who was getting married that day.”
Twilight was not amused. “Why would a monster, an enemy of Equestria, want to date me?”
“Because you are a beautiful and intelligent mare that I want to spend my time with. All those things I said in my letters were true. Sure we might have some political disagreements, but we are mature ponies who can see past that and have a great relationship. You break your back for this country in ways Celestia never did; don’t you deserve to curl up with something besides a book once in awhile?”
Twilight blushed. His words were every bit as charming as they were in his letters. But still, he was the enemy! Twilight leapt up and stomped the table with her hooves. “You obviously have some ulterior motive!”
Discord shot her date a devilish grin. “Well, no more than any other stallion. I see you’ve been working out.”
Twilight had had enough. She threw up her hooves. “I can’t believe this!” After upending the table, she galloped across the restaurant to bound out the front door.
Discord righted the table and leaned on it. “I think that went well.”
* * *
Twilight ran home and slammed the door. She pushed passed Spike and went straight to bed where she cried herself to sleep.
Spike decided not to pull the rope that unfurled a giant banner with the words “I told you so.”
Up in her room, Twilight tried to sleep, but the tears wouldn’t stop. She went to her desk and grabbed her three favorite letters from her boyfriend and took them to bed with her. She didn’t get to read them much.
She wanted to remember the good times before she learned the horrible truth. Twilight grabbed the letters and hugged them as she fell asleep. She was miserable because she had been lied to. She was sad because she knew that Discord would not leave her alone. Most of all, she was terrified because she knew she loved him.