//------------------------------// // Lightning Round: For Your Viewing (Dis)Pleasure // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// The "Formatting" can be set to whatever suits you, as long as you can have an adequate or better reading experience. Properties belong to their respective owners. --- Four Lightning Round Here, all the fights are settled without boring analysis. Eight fighters! All action! No research! Lighting Round! Start the clock and... Go! (Devil May Cry vs. Twilight's Kingdom) ---Dante vs. Tirek--- The camera pans down upon a mess of white hair. It slowly looks over a red coat and a giant sword on the back. This man is apparently enjoying a leisurely walk. He looks like he's relaxed and smiling. A nearby explosion only draws a curious glance over his shoulder. Visually, the screen turns slightly to see what he sees. Some nearby forest area and buildings are getting blown up by an over-sized centaur. The man chuckles at the creatures giant horns that are clearly compensating for something. The red giant growls turns around to look at the small man. This only draws a more hearty chuckle. The man hops in place from side to side while holding his fists up. Be tough, or be dead. Strike! Tirek concentrates an orange orb in between his horns before firing it at the ground. Dante dodge rolls to his right. The Tartarus escapee tries that particular attack again, only for Dante to step lively to his left. Furious, Tirek slams both of his fists into the ground. The resulting earthquake causes a number of rocks to rise up and contort in several stalagmite and mountain formations. Though, the half-demon seems to be taking it in stride by running and leaping across all of the rocks that come his way. Tirek switches up his attack by picking up some of the burning trees and chucking them at this nuisance. There's a bit of a slow-motion blur as the first tree approaches Dante. In a fluid arc, Dante swings his sword out and slices straight through the middle of the tree. He then proceeds to jump and slash through the rest of the incoming logs. He seems to pause up high in the air for dramatic effect before taking a downward swing directly at his foe. Something catches Dante mid-strike. He grunts in confusion before looking himself over. An orange glow is radiating around him. That same glow is around Tirek's fist as he spins Dante around like a discus throw. Dante yells out as he's sent flying into the ground, bouncing and skidding over several feet. Taking a few breaths, Dante slowly rises onto his feet. He seems to be letting out a beastly growl. Soon, the animal side becomes a bit less metaphorical as his face is suddenly covered in a unique black-patterned mask. At the same time, a fierce red aura surges all around him. The half-demon sprints forward at breakneck speeds. Soon, Dante is running around all over the place. With each pass he makes, he swings his sword at the centaur's legs. After countless strikes, Tirek literally falls to his knees. He tries pounding the ground again. However, this seems to have a trampoline effect, sending Dante straight onto the centaur's lower back. There's a brief twinkle as the half-demon whips out two pistols and twirls them around his currently clawed hands. He fires several shots at the centaurs head, letting not one second pass without firing his next shot. He spins around once before firing both of his pistols one last time. The resulting headshot sends a mess of blood and both of Tirek's horns flying in different directions. With its work finished, the Devil Trigger fades to reveal Dante's default human-esque form. He spins his pistols around a bit more before holstering them. Headshot! The winner of this round is... Dante! (Tara Strong vs. Tara Strong) ---Raven vs. Twilight Sparkle--- The arena this time seems to be a default city street. Clouds are scattered throughout the sky. A strange shadow emerges from the center of the street. Its "wings" fold back to reveal a young woman in a hooded robe. Some feet in front of her, a magenta bubble of light pops. A lavender pony with wings and a horn blinks a couple of times. "You shouldn't be here," warns the girl. "Okay, I'm sorry!" exclaims the pony. "They can't find out we're twins." May the Strongest combatant win. Fight! "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" A few cars and trash cans float up in a shadowy aura. They fly forth at Raven's command. Twilight retorts with her magic aura. The incoming projectiles are quickly surrounded by the alicorn's magic and curve around to the side. As the street gets littered with car parts and old banana peels, Twilight concentrates her magic on a slightly larger target. A pickup truck flies over her head, hurtling toward her foe. Raven's eyes glow in white as a small dark circle forms around her hand. She swings that hand diagonally. Somehow, this causes the incoming truck to split in half and explode on either side of the road behind her. She levitates above the ground and moves forward. A flap of wings allows Twilight to respond with a similar motion. In an unexpected choice, both combatants start kicking at each other. Sounds of colliding feet and grunts fill the street air. After a while, they attempt to grab each other with their respective mind powers. Twilight gets flung back in a shadowy aura while Raven is sent head-first in a magenta light. They both collide into buildings on either side of the street. Clenching her teeth, Twilight tries shooting a beam of magic at her opponent. However, Raven holds out her hands and creates a shield composed of nothing but her darkness. The beam bounces off and upward. Dispelling this barrier, she clenches her fist. Some of the bricks on Twilight's building start hovering in a shadowy aura before racing to the pony's position. Twilight switches spells to a magic force field, blocks the bricks, and then pushes those bricks away. The combatants stand on opposite sidewalks to catch their breaths. Raven suddenly phases into the ground. Twilight looks around wildly, trying to pinpoint her enemy's position. Something rises up out of her own shadow and seems to pour itself into her body. She yelps out and grunts against some unseen pain. "I control your body now," mutters Raven's voice. Twilight grits her teeth as two smoky shades flow out of her eyes. "No... you... don't!" Twilight's eyes burn brightly. In a flash, Raven pops out with her head closer to the ground than her feet. With a fiery rage, Twilight throws all of her power into one more magic beam. This time, the attack eclipses Raven completely in a blinding light. A pile of ashes forms in the middle of the street. Twilight pants. "This is exactly why I hate dark magic." K.O.! This round's victory goes to... Twilight Sparkle! (Mortal Kombat vs. The Analysis Community) ---Kitana vs. Eliyora--- Puddles splash as the next combatants enter a rainforest arena. An outfit clicks onto one as the other one opens her blue fan-blade. Neither of them looks too pleased to be here today. "Do you seek to challenge me?" asks the princess with the fans. "You won't like me when I'm angry," says the brown pony, letting a little bit of her weapon flicker in warning. The first combatant holds her fan to the side. "I don't like you right now." This will be a heated match. Engage! Kitana swings her arms out behind her. The resulting wind is somehow strong enough to launch her forward and fly. With a twirl of her whole body, she flings one of her fans. It spins around, snags the unicorn's shoulder, and draws a trickle of blood before flying around and returning to the woman's hand. Eliyora's eyes glow red. She points her flamethrower and shoots a long stream. However, the Edenian quickly sidesteps out of the way. She dodges the next couple of fiery streams with precise timing and what looks like gymnastic flips. Eli floats out a shotgun for a bit of chip damage. While it is successful in drawing a yelp from Kitana, it is far from enough to prevent her from running around. The Edenian waves her fans out in front of her, creating a small-scale tornado. The unicorn pyro is flung off her hooves and helplessly hovers in midair. Kitana opens her fan blade and uses it as the extended edge of an uppercut. Eliyora tumbles along the puddles. "Get up!" demands the princess. What Kitana does not see is a small gun levitating behind her. Magically, the trigger is pulled and a small, blue ball flies out. When it latches onto her, she suddenly ignites all over in flames. She cries out as she stands their in agonizing pain. Eliyora jumps up and nearly presses her flamethrower against her opponent. She pulls the trigger one more time to set all of Kitana on fire at once. Flesh bubbles and melts as an Edenian skeleton falls to its knees. Fatality! This round's victory goes to... Eliyora! (Skullgirls vs. Power Ponies) ---Filia vs. Mane-iac--- This place is rather dark. Faint outlines show that something is in this large room, but it's difficult to determine what any of it is. Some shapes shuffles around. There is a sound akin to a wrench cranking. Suddenly, the lights turn on. A couple of exclamation points pop over the heads of the very hairy competitors. On the left is what appears to be a green mess reaching out everywhere from the head of a flashy, costumed pony. Her eyes don't exactly make her look any less crazy. The right side of the screen holds a bit more subdued girl, but with no less ridiculous hair. "I heard somebody diss me!" yells a man's voice from within the hair. ... W-W-Wait, can it... hear me? "I'm going to kill that insulting voice!" One of the follicles curls into a makeshift fist. "Nobody calls me ridiculous!" Eeeep! "Samson, focus," says the girl wearing the hair. "We have an enemy right in front of us." "Grrr... fine." The follicle settles down. Whew. The pony villain cackles like crazy as something in her laboratory sparks artificial lightning. Calling her insane is probably being a little too generous. Heck, even as I narrate this, she's rambling on and monologuing about how this strange new hero can't possibly stop her since the Power Ponies aren't here. "Can I break this horse now?" asks Samson. "Please do," says the girl with a nod. Ladies and gentlemen, it's... Showtime! Three strands of Mane-iac's green mane stretch out. There's a bit of a muffled noise as Filia holds up her hands and blocks the strikes enough to be chipping damage. A couple other green hairs lash to the sides. They pull some random pipes from around the arena and chuck them at the enemy. The impacts send Filia sliding along the floor. "Hairball!" shouts Samson. The possessed hair suddenly stretches out and surrounds the girl. It curls up and spins forth, almost exactly like a certain hedgehog's Spin Dash attack. The speed at which the hairball smacks into Mane-iac doesn't help the argument of originality. After the initial strike, the hairball allows the girl back into the open. She eagerly uses this breathing space to quickly kick-combo against the enemy in front of her. Mane-iac does flinch and grunt at the impacts. However, her insane smile does not leave her face. She starts whacking with her various strands of hair to block and match the speedy attacks from both Filia and Samson. One strand of green stays out of the primary conflict. It reaches off several feet behind Mane-iac while the enemy's attention is elsewhere. As soon a Filia takes a leap toward her, a huge spray can is pulled out and expels a giant mist of light purplish mist. Once the mist clears, the girl falls straight to the ground, frozen in her leaping pose. The spray can is discarded as all of the villain's mane hairs rush out and wrap around Filia. There is a lot of rubbery noise that can be heard as the mane slowly twists and turns. Finally after a few seconds, there is the sound of a joint completely snapping. X-ray imaging shows fractures in Filia's neck, back, and knees. After that, she's dropped to the ground, unmoving. Mane-iac's mane shakes around wildly as she laughs maniacally. And Cut! The winner of this round is... Mane-iac. ---