You know, this chapter used to be grammatically incorrect manuscript. Then it took a correction to the text!
Thanks again to frieD195 for your edits
Tearing Twilight away from the various glyphs and writings on the walls was difficult. It was annoying the group to no end, especially Dash who needed her light to see the ground below them.
“Sugarcube! Enough with the sight-seein’! We can come back after we know it’s safe!” AJ scolded the purple pony.
Twilight sheepishly apologized and resumed helping the group. Darius made sure Spike kept up. The last thing they needed was for anyone to get lost here.
Then there were the traps. The first trap they discovered opened the ceiling, but only a few pebbles fell out. The group deduced it was the boulder trap that was set off from earlier. The others were pressure plates scattered down hallway. Some of were already set off. Thanks to Darius’s sword, he need only push down on each plate to see which would go off and which were safe. The most impressive trap was the net traps that fell apart. Apparently certain traps rot with age.
Down the hall they arrived at an intersection.
“Hm, according to the Manual for Ruins Exploration, we should go left first, then once we are done exploring that, we return and take the…” Twilight was about to finish.
Dash interrupted. “Oh please. In all the Daring Do novels, the important stuff is always straight ahead.”
“Um…guys?” said Spike trying to get everyone’s attention as he gazed down straight ahead. His keen dragon vision could see what looked like eyes.
Darius kept his Light going until he stepped into the intersection, then his Light stopped…no, it was being suppressed! What?
“Dash, this isn’t fiction. We need to comb this place thoroughly. Those golems could be hiding anywhere.” Twilight retorted.
“Guys?” Spike raised his voice a little. To the right was another pair of eyes moving closer.
“Tarnation, how about we just compromise and take the right path?”
“Guuuys!” Spike pointed to the left as a doglike shape came out of the shadows.
“What?” All three ponies turned their attention to Spike.
“My Light isn’t working here!” Darius switched to Dark, it worked just fine, all attention was on him this time, then finally they heard the raspy voice of a five foot brutish-looking Diamond Dog.
“What have we here? More intruders?” Said the tallest. The average one growled in warning. The shortest snarled. “Maybe they were called here by them.”
Back to back, the ponies, Newman, and Dragon stood guard.
“Who’s the taller one? He one of us?” The average sized asked.
“No… too ugly to be a Diamond Dog. But he looks an awful lot like them statues!” Said the shortest growled.
The Newman spoke up. “There are five of us, three of you. Do you really want to start trouble?”
“We took these things from your friends.” They took out obsidian staves with the greenish runes on them. “I say that makes things even!”
“EVERYONE, DODGE!” Darius shouted as he leapt high over. Dash followed suit while the rest scrambled.
And with that, the dogs pointed their staves and fire green bolts of energy from them. “Hold still!” Shouted the average size dog.
“Don’t touch those staves!” Darius warned and formed his blade and landed in front of the tallest, connecting with the staff of the tallest Diamond Dog. “You have any idea what that IS?!” He shouted at the canine. All the sudden his Dark stopped working, but his Light worked! What is going on? The tallest pushed him back and fired as Darius slashed his sword and destroy the bolt. Upon stumbling back onto the floor of the intersection, his Dark started working again. “Huh?”
Dash proved impossible to hit as she circled around while the average-sized dog fired at her. Seeing her best friend getting shot at, AJ charged and bucked the average canine down the hall, where he landed with an agreeable thud. Dash grinned. “Awe yeah.”
The smallest went from firing bolts to shooting green-lightning as Twilight kept a shield going to keep it off. Thinking quickly, Spike breathed fire below its feat, heating the stone floor as the three foot mutt ‘danced the hot-foot.' Ow! Ow! Ow! Taking this opportunity, Twilight floated the staff away from the dog and dropped it elsewhere.
Darius, however, had to take note of these floors and how they were affecting him. He couldn’t best this bigger one with strength as long as he stood there, but he couldn’t safely over power his magic from a distance. Oh well. He dashed forward and slid, ducking the dog’s bolts and went to Light immediately. He projected dispelling into his hands but he wasn’t fast enough. Grabbing onto the staff, he tried casting the spell, but the bigger dog was stronger (and faster) and threw him off against the wall. Pointing his staff at Darius, he grinned until he was hoofed in the face by a flying cyan pony.
“Stay off my coltfriend!” Dash shouted as the dog stumbled back.
The dogs yipped and ran off into the dark, leaving their staves behind.
“Horsefeathers! The nerve of them dogs! Ah thought they were a bunch of hooligans, but now they crossed the line!” She stomped her front hooves into the ground.
“These staves are odd. I have never seen a magic like this before.” Twilight peered closer to the artifact.
“Right, and it’s a magic you need not learn. That the Wyrm’s essence. It does nothing but destroy.” He felt Light no longer work and Dark working again. “And we have another problem.” He realized.
“What is it, big guy?” Dash asked.
“These floors are enchanted to suppress my power. On this floor, Light doesn’t work, so I cannot use any spells. The one up ahead suppresses Dark. This was set up for me, no doubt.”
Twilight took a risk and scanned the staff with her magic. “I see. It’s entropy magic, eww.” She tossed it aside. “And as for the floors,” she contemplated. “Let’s see...” She projected a spotlight from her horn down the hall, illuminating the auras on each floor showing off Blue and Red on some floors. “Well Darius. I think I know the problem. These floors were recently enchanted. If you step on a red floor, you can only invoke Dark, but blue floors only permit Light.” She proudly figured it out.
Darius snorted. “I doubt these dogs could pull that off. So…I guess I’m going to rely on you to point them out. As for the Diamond Dogs, I don’t think they understand how dangerous it was to use those staves. I’m amazed they managed to take them from the golems.”
“They’re good at taking things that don’t belong to them." Spike remarked.
"Okay, we should proceed straight ahead, same formation, same caution.” Twilight replied.
Dash looked at her surprised. “I thought you said we should explore the other ways.”
“Yes, but the Diamond dogs always travel in packs. Those three had to have all come from a single point of origin that all these passages connect to. So the logical step is to keep moving forward.” Twilight reasoned as she shone her light further down the stairs. “And with some adjustments…” She concentrated and her light was now revealing red and blue fields that outlined the floors. “Perfect.”
Darius nodded impressed. “Indeed.”
Spike continued to mark the way they went as they went down the stairs. Before they knew it, they encountered another intersection with paw prints indicating the three they encountered earlier all met here and ran further down the corridor. All of the sudden there was another series of ‘yipps’ as the Diamond Dogs were making a b-line in their direction, terrified.
“Here they come again!” Applejack stood ready.
“Hang on.” Darius stepped forward. “What are you running from?!” He shouted.
“Th-th-hey broke free!” Said the small dog.
“Th-they’ve remade the main chamber!” Added the tallest.
“Please don’t hurt us! Just let us go! You can have the sanctuary!” The average one begged.
“We’re not with them!” Twilight scolded. “Is that why you attacked us?”
The three looked shamed realizing their mistake. “The thing is, they walk on two legs like that guy.” The smallest pointed at Darius. “Yeah, we thought you were with them.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Idiots.” He grumbled.
“Let ‘em run. We can handle them. These lug-heads will just get in the way.” Dash remarked.
The tallest glared and snarled. “Hey! It’s not our fault they've got magic! Bet you can't do any better!”
Dash got in his face. “Oh yeah!?”
“Enough!” Darius shouted. “You three are coming with us!” He pointed to the Diamond Dogs and shocked everyone and everypony. “You attacked us with their weapons! Those vile things would’ve KILLED us! If you want to make up for that and your past wrongs, you will help us destroy those golems and cleanse this sanctuary!”
The dogs looked at each other. “Work together?” They all said to each other. They huddled and mumbled to each other for a moment before they turned to the group. “Okay, we’ll join your pack.” Said the tallest.
“Big guy, you sure about this? They’ve been nothing but trouble!” Dash interjected.
“And it’s time they made up for it.” Darius walked ahead. “Okay dogs, you got further than us so lead the way.” He commanded.
“We take the short cut this time; the longer way has more traps.” Said the average.
And so they followed them. The dogs lead them on a path of tiles, which avoided the spike traps. They then took the shortcut. As they ran down the corridor, Dash scouted too far ahead to notice when they encountered a new trap. The large floor below them opened down towards a pit! What is worse was it suppressed Dark. Darius barely managed to grab the edge on the other side. Twilight teleported herself and Spike to safety. The dogs were already at the edge, but poor AJ was slipping of the floor as it opened down to the pit below!
In a feat of quick thinking, the three canines formed a chain-link as the smallest leaped to AJ and grabbed her tail, with the average leaping and grabbing his tail, then the tallest holding on to his tail from the edge. After pulling everyone up, they sighed in relief.
AJ caught her breath from that scary experience. “Okay, you dogs earned yer merit.”
The dogs nodded proudly and said: “Thank you.”
Dash helped Darius up. “You okay, big guy?” He nodded and pointed ahead for them to continue.
They reached a larger chamber but the dogs stopped. “This is where we found them!”
They approached an entrance overlooking a chamber about 50 yards long and wide, which consisted of a series of platforms held up by pillars. They stood across from each other and over a nasty drop into a bed of sharp rocks. The entrance had only a short lip of stone overlooking it as Darius stepped forward. Upon entering the chamber a field of energy separated him from the others, and the lip began to slowly withdraw.
“Tarnation!” AJ cursed.
“Darius!” Dash shouted as she and AJ bucked against the solid field, but to no avail.
The dogs themselves also pounded against it. They then whispered to each other and ran back down the hall.
“Where are you going?!” Spike shouted but they were already out of sight. “I knew we couldn’t trust them!”
Twilight shined her light through the field, thanking it still worked and found the platforms emitted the same blue and red auras. “Darius, jump ahead!” She shouted as Darius switched to Dark and made a leap for the nearest red platform. He then heard a noise coming from the northern, eastern, and western sides as sections of the walls opened up to reveal the three mage-golems they were looking for!
The northern golem held his hands up and formed a ball of green energy, then fired it on a red-pillar. All the red pillars erupted in a column of blasting-force, sending Darius flying off the pillar, but he managed to grab onto the edge. He quickly pulled himself back onto the platform and took note of the north one’s magic. The western then cast a spell. In Twilight’s light, all the pillars changed color to their opposites. Darius changed from Dark to Light. Then the eastern one sent a shockwave in Darius’s direction. Darius countered with a dispelling as the two spells slammed into each other mid-range.
“Twilight! Where is the next red?!” He needed Dark to reach these platforms but couldn’t use it where he was now. And that north one was preparing another spell.
“Northeast!” Twilight shouted.
The wall was closer to him than the pillar, so he used his skill in parkour to leap towards the wall, switching to Dark. Using the friction of the roughly cut stone, he pushed himself off the wall to reach the platform edge. He gripped the edge and climb onto it.
A blast erupted on each blue platform. Now it was the western golem’s turn as it changed the platforms again. But Darius moved quickly and leapt high off that platform onto one that changed red, and avoiding the eastern golem’s shockwave as well.
The northern golem was the most threatening. With Twilight’s help, he made his way north. He kept the pattern in mind: Blue or red erupts; platforms change color; shockwave from the east golem; leap to another red platform to avoid it. He was glad mage-golems were limited to patterned strategy. He leaped to the northernmost pillar to avoid another eruption attack, but realized despite it being red now, this statue was too far away to reach it. What was worse he couldn’t manage a dispelling while that east golem was shooting at him! Tuath!
“Darius, deflect the shockwave!” Twilight instructed.
Now THAT was an idea! He formed his blade and waited for his pillar to turn to Light. It did. The western golem fired its shockwave. The Newman braced himself and he angled the flat of his blade, putting all his magic into it. BOOM! It hit hard, but the magic did the trick and sent the wave directly into the northern golem. The golem had no concept of avoidance before the wave smashed it into gravel. With the pattern broken, the golems changed strategy. Both statues targeted Darius with a double shockwave!
At the same time, the Diamond Dogs returned with the Wyrm-enchanted staves and pressed the tips against the barrier, putting all the magic the artifacts had into destroying it. In an instant, the barrier shorted out and the staves shattered. Darius dispelled one shockwave, but the other sent him flying up and off the pillar.
Dash flew into action as she sped her way towards Darius as fast as her wings could push her. She was nearing sonic-rainboom speeds before she caught her coltfriend by his belt several feet from the rocky bottom. With all her effort, she managed to carry him back up drop him onto another pillar, landing beside him.
She panted. “Told yah I’d save you.” She managed a smile.
Now it was Twilight’s turn. She teleported Applejack to one golem, and the dogs to the other. With one buck and a series of poundings, both mare and dogs made short work of the brittle statues. And with that, the purple pony teleported them all into the main corridor.
“Doggonit…” AJ huffed, then noticed the three Diamond Dogs looking at her annoyed. “Uh, sorry, heh. I meant tarnation. That’s twice I had to get rowdy. No offense Darius, but that had better be the last of them things.” She said walking with them out the temple. “Gonna need some therapy if ah have to do that ah third time.”
Darius chuckled. “I’m pretty sure that was the last of them.”
***
It was nearing evening when the group returned to the entrance to the ruins.
Darius turned to the Diamond Dogs. “So, where do we stand now?” He asked.
The Diamond Dogs looked confused at first, but the smallest got what he was insinuating. “We’re sorry for kidnapping Rarity. You helped cleanse our ancestral home. The Diamond Dogs are forever grateful to you and the ponies.”
“Ahem!” Spike tapped his foot. Ignoring the others giggling.
“The dragon too.” The tallest corrected. The averagely built one spoke. “We promise to be good to our neighbors from now on. Farewell.” They took a different path into the mountains, no doubt heading back to their mines.
Twilight let out a satisfied sigh. “Well, if that means what I think it means, the Diamond Dogs just might treat ponykind much nicer from now on. And maybe they’ll allow me to come back here and study this place!” Her eyes sparkled with glee. “Oh, and Darius. You performed excellently. The magic you displayed in this quest has earned you the element of…Darius?” She looked up seeing he and Rainbow Dash sharing a tender hug.
AJ giggled. “Give ‘em a moment, sugarcube. After that experience, they need some relief.”
Dash nuzzled the Newman’s cheek feeling his arms hold her close. “Have I told you lately that you’re my brave stallion?” She said softly.
“Nope.” He smiled. “But don’t let me stop you.” He kissed her on the cheek this time, making her wings flutter. “But don’t forget yourself, Dash. You were awesome back there.” The two got lost in each other’s eyes until AJ cleared her throat.
“Not to interrupt yer moment, folks, but can you consummate yer relationship after we get home?” AJ teased.
The two blushed furiously at that statement and looked at AJ. “We haven’t got that far, yet!” They hastily replied, then turned redder with embarrassed faces. And laughter ensued.
***
It was late at night as they hiked through the forest. Darius momentarily admired the symbol of magic on his forehead using Twilight’s spare mirror. “I can’t wait to see what will come of this when I learn the final one.” He said.
Dash grinned hovering near him. "It’s a good look, big guy.”
AJ was in thought as they walked back. How is she to test Darius’s honesty? The guy must be honest, right? But then he’d have learned her element anyways! Oh dadburnit, she didn’t know enough about magic to figure this out herself. She pulled Twilight and Spike aside.
“Hey sugarcubes, I’m in a bit of a conundrum here. Darius hasn’t learned my element yet. But he’s been honest with us, right? So what’s the holdup?” She whispered.
Twilight thought for a bit. “That is odd. It’s not as if he’s been lying about anything.”
Spike piped up. “What if he is?”
The two ponies gave him an annoyed look. Spike put his hands up. “Hey, don’t get mad. But come on AJ, you remember the time you were so ashamed of not winning that metal, you kept the truth from us?” He asked. “Darius is a good guy but nobody’s perfect. Maybe he has something he’s afraid to tell us.”
AJ nodded. “Got a point there, Spike. Dun suppose we can test Darius, can we?”
Twilight thought for a moment. “I have an idea. Let’s stop by Zecora’s. She has something that will help with that. It’s going to be late soon anyways and I’m sure she’d welcome some guests tonight.”
They agreed and caught up with the cyan mare and tanned Newman. “Hey sugarcubes. It’s pretty late. We’re gonna crash at Zecora’s if you don’t’ mind.”
“Sounds cool AJ, but does Zecora have the room?” Dash mentioned.
Twilight replied. “She recently added a second hut for guests. That should be plenty of room for all of us.”
“Great!” Darius said enthusiastically. “We Newmen haven’t had relations with the Zebra sense the Ley Lines cut us off. Besides, she’ll likely want to hear the latest history of my people. We can sit around a fire, eat, I’ll chant Newmen history, Dash will sleep through it.” He jived his marefriend, chuckling.
Dash laughed and playfully hoofed him on the arm as they made their way to Zecora’s abode.
***
Upon finally reaching Zecora’s home, the Zebra pony was meditating while balancing on a bamboo stick. When she finally came out of her meditation, she gladly welcomed the group inside and helped to string hammocks to the stone load-bearing supports for them in the guest-hut.
“Make yourselves home, I’ll prepare food, it gladdens me, your adventure fared good.” The Zebra went to her kitchen with Spike in tow to help her out. As the group sat and rested their weary feet/hooves, Twilight snuck into the kitchen.
A moment later they came out with bowls of food as they sat around the clay fire pit. “Chant to us, my ancestral friend, your kindred’s history, please do append.” Zecora requested.
As they ate, Darius chanted the history as well as he could. Doing justice to the sages who were masters of historical chanting wasn’t easy. Plus, he didn’t want it to be boring. The first part was about the goddesses and their teachings to the Newmen race. To his surprise, nopony was shocked by this tale. In fact it interested them more. Twilight pointed out the aid the then-goddesses (now-princesses) gave the Newmen was not all that inconsistent with how they historically helped ponykind. That gave him the enthusiasm to continue. Zecora listened with a serene calmness that kept everyone relaxed. He finished the chanting as it was nearing the end of dinnertime and finally sat down to let others talk amongst themselves.
Zecora approached AJ and whispered something into her ear. They exchanged whispers as Dash and Darius exchanged jokes.
How many earth ponies does it take to fill an oil lamp?
How many cloud sages does it take to change the weather?
Chuckles were exchanged at the punch lines.
Finally, AJ drew attention to herself. “Well, Darius, think it’s time you learn the element of honesty.” She took some seeds and dug a small hole in the ground and planted them. “Zecora?” She let her do the explanation.
“The seeds of truth, were used to cure, Applebloom’s pox when it matured. But for this test, I do forsooth, can detect when you speak the truth.” Zecora described.
Then Twilight explained. “The plant will grow when you confess a lie, Darius. If you hadn’t lied, it will grow anyways.” Twilight added.
Darius eyed that small mound where the seeds were planted for a moment, it didn’t grow. Then it dawned on him what this test meant. His heart sank. Why did this have to be the final element? He opened his mouth to speak but the images of the Wyrm flickered in his head, and the imagined scenario that his friends, or worse, Dash would be killed entered his mind. He clamped up and broke out into a cold sweat.
“Big guy? It’s okay, I know you’re not perfect. You can tell me.” She rested her head on his shoulder.
He looked at her almost terrified. He ran a hand through his hair anxiously. “You need to promise me something.” He told her. “No, everyone,” He told the group, “Promise you won’t go with me after I confess it.” He said sternly.
“Go with you where?” AJ was confused.
“What do you mean, big guy? I’m the element of loyalty, your marefriend, I’ll always be there with you.” Dash replied.
“Dash, you especially. You…you can’t go with me when….” He hid his face behind his knees. “Tuath, please promise you will let me go alone when I ask you to.” He pleaded.
“What are you talking about?! Are you leaving us? Is that it?!” Dash exclaimed.
“Dash, that isn’t it. You won’t survive what’s coming.” He felt a vice on his heart.
The flower began to grow.
“Darius…tell.” Zecora said gently.
Darius looked at everyone, then to Dash, then looked to the ground in guilt. “The Wyrm is still alive, the princesses confirmed this. It…it is on its way to Equestria as we speak.” He said sadly. “And you mustn't go with me to fight this thing.”
The stem of the flower fully grew and it began to bud.
This invoked an air of fear amongst the group. Even for Dash, the thought of this monster setting one hoof in her homeland was scary, but for Darius to ask her to sit back and let him face it alone? HECK NO! “Not gonna happen, big guy. You’ll never get rid of me, or our friends!” She replied sternly.
“Darius, we are the elements of harmony. It’s our duty to protect Equestria from these threats. Have we not proven we are capable of facing such dangers?” Twilight inquired sympathetically.
Darius stood, having lost his calm. “You fools! You have no idea what this thing is like! It is terrible! Terrible! Its only motivation is to destroy, kill, unmake everything! This is my destiny and mine alone! I accepted it so nobody, nopony else would have to face it!” He huffed and was about to continue until he felt a hoof thump him on the head.
The flower fully bloomed. Zecora smiled and nudged AJ, who smiled as well seeing it worked. Now it was Dash’s turn to set him straight.
“You dummy!” Dash shouted after conking Darius. “Why do you think the Princess had you learn the elements, huh?” She sniffed. “Don’t you understand what they mean? The elements of harmony work together! Me, Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie are at our best when we work together!” She shed tears. “And now we’re sharing our magic, our friendship with you!” She put a hoof on his element of loyalty. “And it will be for nothing if you don’t let your friends help.”
Darius stared into her rosy eyes silent for a while before he replied. “It will be extremely violent.”
Dash replied. “I know.”
“The Wyrm is powerful, huge, it can…” He added.
The cyan pony put a hoof on his mouth. “Stop trying to scare me, it won’t work.” Dash cleared the tears from her eyes. “You’re stuck with us, especially me.” She softly smiled.
AJ tapped the Newman on the leg. “Kneel down for a sec, sugarcube.”
Darius did so, not knowing what to expect. AJ grinned and hoofed him on the chest. “Yer a selfless fool. But me, nor Dash dun blame you. We can relate.” She chuckled. “So consider yourself passin’ the test of honesty.” The final element appeared where she hoofed him. “Now no more despairin’. When that day comes, we’ll back you up. But if yer having trouble, we’ll jump right in to save you.” Seeing as the Newman didn’t object, she considered that matter settled and went back to her spot.
Darius sat down. Dash landed next to Darius and nuzzled his arm. “You alright?”
Darius sat down with her and put an arm around her. “Still scared for you and the others…but feeling better I’m not standing alone.”
Dash smiled and rested her head against his arm.
The night carried on until finally, when nopony, nor dragon, nor Newman could stay awake, they went to sleep. Darius got the extra-large heavy-duty hammock for himself (originally meant for if Big Mac ever visited) and made himself comfortable. A moment after he closed his eyes, he felt a slight air blowing from above him. He opened his eyes to find his marefriend landing comfortably on him and snuggling. Even though he was half dressed, he didn’t feel embarrassed. Besides, the combined warmth of Dash and her softness was heavenly. He softly stroked her main her head down her neck.
The mare blushed and smiled. “F-Y-I, this is normal for two ponies dating.” She whispered and let out a happy sigh to those wonderful fingers of his.
“So ponies do this before they progress to kissing more?” He asked.
“Mhm.” The pegasi tiredly confirmed.
“I think I can get used to it.” He grinned.
Dash giggled softly. “It’s because I trust you to not try anything. Besides, you’re comfy.”
“Does this mean I’m pardoned for lying to you earlier?” He asked.
“Yep. So don’t dwell on it.” She made a cute yawn and began to doze off. “Goodnight, handsome.”
“Goodnight, my blue angel.” He whispered.
***
It finally reached its destination, for it could sense them from across the threshold. It was a long journey. And that time spent using the Ley Line to travel was well spent for planning his next move. Now it can only wait for the next Ley Line storm to approach. It had to time this perfectly. It was one thing to use it to send man-sized objects through it, but this will be different. Still, if it was going to fall, the harm he will do to both the Goddesses and the Avatar would be irreparable.
CAN YOU SENSE ME, ALICORNS? CAN YOU FEEL MY RAGE? HEAR MY ROAR? DOES IT MAKE YOU TREMBLE IN FEAR?
***
Indeed, the two Alicorns could feel the familiar presence of The Destroyer on the other side of the Ley Line, waiting like a patient snake ready to strike.
“Luna, I’m going to Ponyville to get Darius and the elements here. Keep watch for me.” She launched off her balcony and took the sky.
Luna watched the Ley Line, unable to deny her anxiety for what will come through it.
IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT CREATING AN EXTENSIVE SERIES OF ACTION SCENES, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT REQUIRES ONE TO VISUALIZE IT. I WANTED TO CREATE THE PLATFORM SCENE IN HONOR OF OUTLAND, GIVEN THAT IS PRETTY MUCH WHAT THE GAME IS ALL ABOUT. I HOPE IT WASN'T TOO CONFUSING. STILL, I AM QUITE SATISFIED WITH THE CHAPTER.
ALSO! NEW CONTEST! THIS ONE IS EASIER. YOU SEE THE TWO INCOMPLETE JOKES IN THIS CHAPTER?
How many earth ponies does it take to fill an oil lamp?
How many cloud sages does it take to change the weather?
FIRST USER(S) TO WRITE IN THE PUNCHLINE FOR ONE OR BOTH GETS AN HONORABLE MENTION NEXT CHAPTER!