Retirement Blues
By Alaborn
Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.
Chapter 15: Wedding Bell Blues
Gold Watch trotted into Green Tea’s shop, right on schedule. The 11:00 patrol brought him to her shop at 11:08. But over the past months, he hadn’t been leaving on schedule. He left when he wanted to, and he was less and less inclined to leave.
“Things going all right, ma’am?” Gold Watch said.
Green Tea scoffed. No matter how many times she told him to can the official policepony routine around her, he always greeted her that way while he was working. “Oh, just come over here,” she replied.
He headed to the counter, and she pulled him in for a kiss. At least he never objected to that. They parted after a moment, and she fussed with his collar, straightening it.
“I can dress myself, Green Tea,” Gold Watch said.
“I just want my handsome stallion to look his best.” She poured coffee into one of the small cups on her counter.
Gold Watch took the cup in his aura and sipped the coffee. It was the favorite moment of his patrol, just sipping coffee and talking. Green Tea took the time to enjoy whatever tea she had prepared, and they would talk, for as long as they could.
The bell on the door chimed. Some days, they didn’t get much time together, as Green Tea still had a shop to run. And this looked like one of those days.
The customer was a familiar one. “Good morning, Twilight Sparkle,” Gold Watch said.
“Oh, good morning to you, Gold Watch,” she replied. “I’d say ‘Funny meeting you here,’ but I really shouldn’t be surprised, now should I?”
“And what would you like today, dear?” Green Tea asked.
“I need some more orange pekoe and chamomile tea, and another bag of coffee,” Twilight Sparkle said. “Surprise me.”
“Coming right up,” Green Tea replied.
“How are you enjoying the coffee?” Gold Watch asked.
“I still haven’t tried all of Green Tea’s blends,” she replied. “I probably don’t drink as much as you; I mostly drink it while working late at night.”
“Are you busy right now?”
“Oh, yes! I’m working on improved plans for Winter Wrap-Up,” she said. “I think, with enough planning and a little preparatory work, we can wrap up winter by nightfall.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Green Tea said.
“Oh, and speaking of preparatory work, would you be interested in volunteering? We could use some ponies to help set up the ropes in the Whitetail Wood, so we can wake the hibernating animals quickly during Winter Wrap-Up,” Twilight Sparkle said.
Green Tea smiled. “That sounds wonderful.”
“I’ll be happy to join you,” Gold Watch added.
The day before Winter Wrap-Up, Gold Watch and Green Tea stood at the edge of the Whitetail Wood, huddled together. Their warm scarves and saddles kept away the cold, but they preferred staying warm together. They were part of a group of a dozen volunteers, and for now, they were waiting, while Twilight Sparkle conversed with a blue pegasus stallion. Finally, they nodded.
Twilight Sparkle rejoined the crowd. “Good morning, everypony, and thank you for volunteering to help make this year’s Winter Wrap-Up the smoothest in memory. Your goal here is to set up a system where the animals hibernating in this part of the forest can be roused quickly, thus sparing ponies for other tasks later in the day.” She motioned to the stallion. “This is T-Square, who designed the plans. He will be leading this team, while I coordinate with the other teams of volunteers.”
The ponies stomped their hooves in applause, which embarrassed the young stallion. “Uh, hi, and thanks. I’m T-Square. I moved here from Canterlot last fall, and so this is my first Winter Wrap-Up. I was surprised to learn how the town wraps up winter, but when Twilight Sparkle talked to me, I was happy to lend my engineering training to this project.
“So, um, the plan is to wake up the animals with bells, and to do that as fast as possible. So we’re going to set up ropes, and string up bells on the ropes, and then ring them all at the same time. Well, that’s the plan for Winter Wrap-Up tomorrow. Today, we’re just preparing for that.”
He reached into his saddlebags, pulling out two boxes. He opened one, revealing that it contained metal loops attached to screws. “So we’re going to be screwing these loops into the trees. Put them in at elbow level, so that the bells will be close to the ground.” From the other side of his saddlebags, he pulled out rolled-up blue papers. “Can anypony read blueprints?”
The crowd was silent.
“Right. I’ll supervise, then. After the loops are in, we’ll paint arrows on the tree bark with the blackberry juice,” T-Square continued, pointing to the closed box. “That will tell the ponies tomorrow how to set up the rope. They’ll set it up, ring the bells, and then move on to the next area. And that’s just about it. Any questions?”
The ponies muttered no, and looked ready to proceed.
“Okay, let’s split up the juice and loops, and get going!”
“Seems like a good plan,” Gold Watch said to Green Tea.
“I never thought of using blackberry juice like that. It would be less permanent than paint,” she said.
“Never seemed to work that way when I ate them.”
“Berries stained your coat too?”
“Something fierce,” Gold Watch said. He ran a hoof through his mane. “Maybe some blueberries could restore my mane to its old color.”
Green Tea nuzzled Gold Watch. “I like your mane. It’s distinguished.”
“Yeah, that’s a nice way of saying gray,” Gold Watch grumbled.
They approached the first group of trees, T-Square indicating where the loops were to go on each. “Why don’t you handle the painting?” Gold Watch suggested. They way it looked, screwing in the loop by mouth would mean laying in the snow, and that didn’t look pleasant.
“Okay,” Green Tea said.
Gold Watch found the work surprising tiring. The loops didn’t weigh much, but the force needed to screw them into the tree while still maintaining a precise hold on them taxed his magic. With the large group of volunteers, the work took only an hour. But still, he was glad he wouldn’t be using his horn tomorrow.
He looked at Green Tea, who was humming happily. “You, uh, got some on you,” Gold Watch said, pointing to one of many spatters from the purplish black juice.
“Oh, I knew that would happen,” Green Tea said. “But a nice, hot bath sounds good to me.”
The next day, Gold Watch and Green Tea rose early. They sensed the excitement in the town, and felt the song in their heart. It was Winter Wrap-Up.
By dawn, the entire town was gathered by Town Hall, where Mayor Mare stood on the stage with Twilight Sparkle. The young unicorn was dressed in her all teams vest, and carried a rather large number of scrolls on her back.
“Thank you, everypony, for coming to Winter Wrap-Up,” Mayor Mare said. “I’d like to thank all of you who have volunteered over the past few days for the preparatory work. With this work, and Twilight Sparkle’s revised plans, we intend to wrap up winter in a shorter time than any year in the last twenty years!”
After the applause died down, Twilight Sparkle spoke. “As the mayor said, I have completely reorganized Winter Wrap-Up this year, applying lessons learned from last year. We’re doing more of what worked last year, and nothing of what didn’t work. Each of the team leads has been briefed on plans, but I want to talk about our overall strategy.
“We will be working in a spiral pattern, with multiple teams spreading out from town center. We will be doing as many tasks simultaneously as possible. For example, the weather team will clear the sky at the same time as the plant team plows the snow.
“The animal team will focus on waking the hibernating animals first. We’ve created a system to handle that quicker. Afterward, please help with nest construction, plowing, and planting.
“For the pegasi on the animal team bringing back the migratory birds, you have each been paired with a buddy. You’ll cover a larger area, but working together. That way, nopony will go to the wrong place.
“Remember that this year, Ponyville is scheduled to provide the water for Cloudsdale’s weather operation. The weather team will be clearing the ice from the reservoir first, and the plant team will be dumping more of the snow into the reservoir. Each of the team leads has been apprised of the plan.
“With all of these changes, and with everypony lending a hoof, we expect to be celebrating by sundown. And for the pegasi tasked with bringing the birds back from the furthest locales, don’t worry; Pinkie Pie has promised to keep the party going until everypony makes it home. Now, let’s wrap up winter!”
Thunderous applause answered Twilight Sparkle’s speech. Everypony was thrilled with the idea of wrapping up winter in less than twenty-four hours, and that joy came out as they broke into song.
The lingering harmony of the song lifted the spirits of Gold Watch and Green Tea as they worked together, side by side. They started by clearing the snow by the Whitetail Wood. It afforded Gold Watch the chance to see the effectiveness of Twilight Sparkle’s planning. The animal team quickly rigged the system of ropes and bells, woke a large number of animals, and then went to the next area. Their work went off without a hitch.
When they took their carts to the reservoir, they found earth ponies with plows waiting for them. They attached their carts to the plows and transported the snow the rest of the way, doing double duty in clearing the ground and hauling the snow. Meanwhile, empty carts were waiting for them.
“I’m impressed. That’s got to be tiring work,” Gold Watch said.
“Oh, if I were younger, I’d show those ponies a thing or two,” Green Tea said.
Five more cycles of snow clearing followed, with each trip back showing more and more of Ponyville cleaned up. They joined a number of ponies for a quick lunch, and then returned to the cleared fields, planting grasses and flowers.
By late afternoon, the majority of work was done. The common areas were free of snow, with seeds planted, and the skies were clear. Everypony pitched in to finish the remaining tasks, and as Celestia lowered the sun, all of Ponyville smiled upon a town cleared of winter.
“I pronounce winter officially wrapped up!” Mayor Mare announced.
“Happy first spring together,” Green Tea said to Gold Watch.
The next day, Gold Watch went in for his periodic meeting with the mayor. He frowned as he saw a construction pony making yet another patch to the ceiling.
“Looks like the warmer weather hasn’t been kind to Town Hall,” Gold Watch commented.
“I know,” Mayor Mare said with a sigh. “The good news is we might have funding for repairs! Applejack came in, and said she’d donate any prize money she won in her next rodeo to fix Town Hall.”
“That’s quite generous,” Gold Watch said. “But I thought that was Rarity?”
“I know what you mean, but Applejack’s family goes back to the founding of Ponyville. I’m not surprised she would help our town.”
“I think that’s a spirit worth celebrating.”
“That’s it!” Mayor Mare exclaimed. “We could host a rally, and send off Applejack with the support of the entire town!”
“An excellent idea,” Gold Watch said. “Now, let’s get to business. First of all, July 1st.”
“What happens then?”
“The end of Silver Shield’s commission. He hasn’t officially decided, but my gut tells me he will accept my offer, and become Ponyville’s first police officer.”
“But you’re the town’s first police officer.”
“Ma’am, I’m retired. Or, at least I’m trying to be retired. Ponyville hasn’t made it easy for me.”
“Or me,” Mayor Mare added.
“Other than that, there’s nothing much going on. No crimes to report, and nothing unusual from the Everfree Forest. No nasty pranks, thankfully.”
“Your proposed change to the law will be on the agenda at the next town meeting,” Mayor Mare said. “It’s not an emergency, so I won’t be using my emergency powers. Sorry.”
“I know that it’s not an emergency. I just want something on the books to discourage certain ponies.”
“It would make my life easier, too.”
“Going to the sendoff?” Colgate asked Sharp Eye.
“Might as well. My appointment this morning rescheduled until later today,” he replied.
“So did mine. I’m sure they want to cheer on Applejack.”
“I didn’t need to go. I don’t know her well. Other than the whole defeating Nightmare Moon thing.”
“To be honest, I don’t know Applejack well either. We trot in different circles. But she loves Ponyville, which makes it easy for Ponyville to love her.”
The two doctors locked their offices, and trotted to Town Hall. They paused once the building came into view.
“What happened?” Colgate said.
“I have no idea,” Sharp Eye said.
Town Hall’s roof was visibly damaged. One of its support pillars had fallen away, and the wooden porch surrounding the building had two large holes in it. But the crowd’s focus was on the stage in front of Town Hall, where Mayor Mare and the guest of honor were waiting.
Colgate waved to her friends in the crowd. Seeing Golden Harvest, she approached her. “I didn’t think anything could take you away from the fields,” Colgate commented.
“Actually, I’m going to the rodeo, too,” she replied. “But just to help with the setup and tear-down. Earn a few more bits, you know? My carrots are all planted, and this will give Golden Grain as much time as he wants to tend to his wheat. Besides, I want to encourage Applejack to focus on the rodeo. It means less competition in the marketplace,” she added with a smile.
The crowd started cheering and stomping their hooves. “Applejack! Applejack! Applejack! Applejack!”
“Everypony, can I get your attention? Attention please!” Mayor Mare shouted over the crowd. The crowd finally quieted. “Yes, we are all here to send Applejack to compete in this year’s Equestria Rodeo competition in Canterlot. And I want to thank Applejack in advance for generously offering up her prize money to fix town hall.”
“Speech! Speech!” Pinkie Pie called from the crowd.
“Oh, shucks. I’m not much for speeches,” Applejack said. “Buuut! This here is the nicest send off anypony could ask for. Y’all have been cheering me on in every rodeo since I was a little little pony. So it seems only fittin’ to use my winnings to fix up town hall. I promise to make Ponyville proud.”
At the other end of the crowd, Gold Watch looked at Town Hall and shook his head. “I hope she wins every competition,” he muttered.
On his next visit to the mayor’s office, Gold Watch was surprised to meet Mayor Mare heading out the door. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“Sorry, Chief. But I’ve got a train to meet. Let’s walk and talk.”
Again, there was little to report, so Gold Watch and Mayor Mare mostly made small talk as they trotted to the train station. Mostly, they talked about Gold Watch’s wedding, which was less than two weeks away.
“Thank you for the invitation,” Mayor Mare said.
“We only sent out a small number of invitations, but as we’ve been telling everypony, they’re welcome to come to the park and share in our joyous day. The reception is what we want to remain intimate.”
“No Pinkie Pie party for you?”
“Green Tea and I agreed that we wanted something a little more... quiet,” Gold Watch said.
“I think that suits you,” Mayor Mare said.
At the train station, Gold Watch spotted several familiar faces. At one end of the platform, Golden Harvest was talking with a unicorn stallion. The main crowd, however, surrounded Applejack. Her friends and family had gathered to see her off, and Mayor Mare joined them.
“That’s very kind of the mayor,” Gold Watch said to himself. It was a sentiment that lasted until Mayor Mare opened her mouth.
“And bring back all that money!” she singsonged.
Gold Watch facehoofed.
Once the ponies boarded the train, and the crowd dispersed, Gold Watch caught up to the mayor. “Was that really necessary?” he asked.
Mayor Mare sighed. “Gold Watch, we are past the point where plaster and tarps can save Town Hall. We really, really need the money.”
Colgate mentally reviewed her day’s activities as she prepped her office for her first patient. She needed to get her dress altered at Rarity’s boutique, pick up her gift from Time Turner’s shop, get some fresh flowers from the marketplace, and she wanted an evening free just to spend with Sharp Eye. But her third patient of the day was what occupied her mind.
Cleaning the teeth of her first two patients went without incident. She collected the payment from the second of her patients, Lemon Hearts, at 10:52 AM, and escorted her out the door, with a card showing her next appointment, one minute later. That left Colgate staring at the door for seven more minutes.
The door to her office opened at precisely 11:00. Colgate turned to her patient and put on a smile. “Hi, Dad,” she said.
“Let’s get this over with,” he said.
Colgate sighed. She loved her father, but he always hated trips to the doctor, the dentist, even the barber. And now, there was only one dentist in town. Without a word, he sat in the dentist’s chair.
Colgate trotted out of the office to get her hygienist, Snow Glimmer. “The patient is ready,” she said. “Please forgive him for any brusqueness,” she added quietly.
Snow Glimmer’s cleaning gave Colgate a twenty minute reprieve. And one look on her face when she was done told Colgate all she needed to know. “Sorry,” she whispered.
She trotted back into the office. “Let’s take a look at your teeth,” she said.
“I know how to brush my teeth and floss,” Gold Watch said.
“I know you do, Dad, but it’s still important to visit the dentist, to clean your teeth thoroughly and deal with tartar buildup. Open up.” She took her tools in her aura, using the scraper to dislodge any remaining tartar.
Colgate stepped back and fired her horn, scanning her father’s teeth and looking for any hidden cavities or problems with the roots. “Your teeth are good. But I still recommend seeing the dentist every six months, not every two years.”
“It’s just a waste of time,” he said.
“It’s like one of your patrols, Dad. You’re not necessarily going to find a crime, but it’s essential to preventing crime.”
Gold Watch huffed.
“I need you to come back to my office, either this afternoon, or tomorrow. I ordered a tooth whitening potion for you.”
“Don’t need it,” Gold Watch stated.
“Dad, you’re getting married this Saturday. Don’t you want to look your best for Green Tea?”
“Green Tea loves me, yellow teeth and all,” he replied.
“Dad! Please! All I’m asking of you is two minutes to use the potion, and then an hour without eating. I’ll even deliver the potion to your house, if that’s what it takes.” Colgate sat next to her father and crossed her forelegs over her chest.
“Fine. If you bring it to my house,” Gold Watch said.
“Good.” She sighed. “This would have been a lot easier if the mail wasn’t late today.”
Gold Watch nodded, recalling that the mail hadn’t arrived at the police station either. He then remembered seeing it delivered late yesterday by the postmaster. “The mailmare must be on vacation,” he said.
“Guess I have to blame her for making this difficult,” Colgate said. “She’s a nice mare, but then every three months, she messes something up.”
Gold Watch sat up, bolt upright. “Is that your special talent talking?” he asked.
“I... I’m not sure,” Colgate replied.
“Think about it. What events happened every three months?”
“Well, there’s her recent damage to town hall. I don’t recall anything happening around Hearth’s Warming, but then again, everypony was in Canterlot. And I don’t know what happened when Discord appeared. But I was recalling some time before that. Going the wrong direction during Winter Wrap-Up, the incident with the snowstorm, that dropped delivery, destroying the first batch of ribbons for the Summer Sun Celebration, going the wrong direction again during Winter Wrap-Up, the mess when she crashed into Rainbow Dash’s fountain, the accidental windstorm when trying to clean up the leaves....” She scratched her muzzle with a hoof as she thought. “Yes, pretty much one mistake every season. Why do you ask?”
“It’s my gut talking. For a mare known to be klutzy, that’s a surprisingly regular pattern.”
“It’s probably nothing.”
“Yes. Probably.” But something was telling Gold Watch to look into it.
Gold Watch stepped through the door of the local office of Fetlock Express. The stallion behind the counter perked up. “Can I help you, sir?” he said.
Gold Watch tapped his badge with a forehoof. “Gold Watch, Ponyville P.D. I’d like to ask you some questions about that order that was dropped from the sky around eighteen months ago.”
“Of course.”
“What was damaged?” Other than coffee, Gold Watch thought to himself.
The stallion scratched his head. “I remember the incident, but couldn’t tell you what was damaged off the top of my head. I’ll check the files, but since it’s been over a year, the details are probably in the archives in Canterlot.”
The stallion went to a cabinet in the back of the office and searched through files. He shook his head, and returned with a thin folder. “I was right. I can contact Canterlot and get them to ship the file to us.”
“I was a police officer in Canterlot before moving here. It would be quicker for me to send your paperwork to Canterlot via dragonfire font,” Gold Watch said.
“I can do that,” the stallion said.
Gold Watch soon had in his hooves a letter authorizing the release of the files concerning Incident Number 41081 to the police. He took the letter to the police station, and added a letter of his own.
Dawn Runner,
My gut tells me there’s more to this incident than a simple accident. Please retrieve the file from the Fet Ex office and send it to me via dragonfire font.
Gold Watch
Although Gold Watch was eager to learn what was in the file, he knew it would take some time for the Canterlot P.D. to work. Besides, there was an investigation to conduct.
Gold Watch’s first stop was the post office. The postmaster, Express Mail, was behind the counter. Gold Watch stepped up and greeted the stallion. “Could we speak in your office?” he said quietly.
Express Mail nodded. He poked his head in back. “Form, take the counter,” he ordered.
The postmaster’s office was small, with a desk, three chairs, and stacks of paperwork. “You use my personal filing system,” Gold Watch told him.
“It works,” he replied. “So, what’s the matter?”
“It’s just the two of you this week, right? Ditzy Doo is on vacation?”
“Yeah. She said she wanted to get out of town after she made a mess of Town Hall. Said she’d spend a few days in Baltimare.”
“She’s done that a lot, right?”
“A few times. Mostly, it’s the result of accidents when she flies. We’ve all told her that we understand that accidents happen, but she wants to run away anyway,” Express Mail said. “Why, is something wrong?”
“Right now, I’m just looking into that dropped Fet Ex delivery from a year and a half ago. I’d like to ask a few more questions about Miss Ditzy Doo,” Gold Watch replied.
“Go ahead.”
“When did she start working for you?”
“Around eight years ago. She had just moved here, and mentioned she was looking for work. Well, at the time, the post office was really stretched to handle the needs of the growing town, and we really needed a pegasus so that we could deliver to the cloud homes and so we could stop paying Cloudsdale for the pickup of their mail. She was young, and didn’t have any experience, but I felt sorry for her. Good thing I hired her, though. She really picked up on the work quickly.”
“Why did you feel sorry for her?”
“She was a single mother. And, you know.” He motioned to his eye.
Gold Watch nodded. “What do you think of her, as a pony?”
“She’s always upbeat. She smiles, even when somepony mentions her eyes. She loves her daughter, and she loves baking muffins.”
“Do you remember where she moved from?” Though his heart was racing, he kept a neutral expression on his face.
“Can’t rightly recall, but I can probably find her change of address form in the files.”
“Please do.”
Gold Watch waited patiently for four minutes and eleven seconds, at which point Express Mail returned. “Ah, now I remember!” he said. “She’s originally from Cloudsdale, but before moving here, Ditzy Doo lived in San Caballo.”
Gold Watch gulped. “Thank you for your help, Postmaster,” he said. He rose as calmly as he could.
Gold Watch drummed his hooves on his desk, all the while stealing glances at the dragonfire font. He was waiting for the next pony he wanted to interview. Being unable to travel to Cloudsdale himself, he had requested to meet somepony who was from the pegasus city.
The door slammed open, and Rainbow Dash flew into the police station. “Look, I don’t know how those clouds got overcharged with static electricity,” she said defensively.
Gold Watch raised an eyebrow. “I hadn’t heard anything about that. Are you telling me I should ask the mayor to inspect the clouds?”
“What? No! I mean, forget I said anything.”
“Miss Rainbow Dash, I don’t want to investigate the harmful results of any prank. And hopefully, I won’t have to. Now, I called you here to ask about one of the ponies in town. Am I correct that you hail from Cloudsdale?”
“Yep, born and raised, until I became too awesome for the city to contain.”
“Did you know Miss Ditzy Doo while you were living there?”
“A little. Not very well, since she was older than me, but we were in some flight classes together.”
“How did that work?”
“They’re organized by ability. I was an advanced flier, and she, well, wasn’t.”
“How much older was she?” Gold Watch asked.
“Four years? Probably. I’m not sure. I was eight, and she was twelve, I think.”
“And your age now?”
“Twenty-three.”
“Do you know anything about where she lived between Cloudsdale and Ponyville?”
“She did? To be honest, I don’t remember hearing anything about her until the time I moved to Ponyville. I remember her giving me the cold shoulder when I first saw her.”
“Why is that?”
“I wasn’t the nicest pony when I was a filly. I made fun of her eyes and her flying. It wasn’t until later that I learned about loyalty, when I saw ponies acting the same way I did, but to somepony who was my friend.” Rainbow Dash shuffled her hooves. “But we’re okay now.”
“Even after the incident in town hall?”
“Don’t remind me. She just wanted to help, but everything she touched went kaboom!”
“My daughter mentioned that you had another run-in with her clumsiness in the past,” Gold Watch said. “Something about your rainbow fountain?”
“That one was my fault. I should have stored the rainbow before the first snow, but I got lazy.”
“What exactly happened?” Gold Watch asked.
“She crashed into the base of the fountain, kicking a hole in the cloud, and letting the rainbow fall to the ground. At the end of the day, all that happened was some foals got to play in rainbow-colored snow. Oh, and I had to save up for some fresh rainbow in the spring.” She laughed. “Don’t envy those parents trying to clean up their foals that night. Rainbow is really hard to get out of your coat!”
“Was there any conflict between the two of you after the incident?”
“What? No, of course not! But I did tell Ditzy Doo that if the weather’s bad, she can wait to deliver my mail. Unless there’s a letter from the Wonderbolts. Then she should drop everything and deliver it first.”
“Nice to see you have your priorities straight, Miss Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow Dash did her little aerial strut. “Darn straight I do.”
“That’s all the questions I have for you. Now, I won’t expect to see you again, as long as nopony gets hurt by errant thunderclouds. Understand?”
“Gotcha.” Rainbow Dash saluted him. “Well, I’ve got tons of weather work to do. Busy, busy, busy.”
“Yes, you’re free to go,” Gold Watch said. And less than a second later, Rainbow Dash was out the door.
He was thinking about what to do if Rainbow Dash overdid it with her latest prank when he heard the distinctive whooshing sound of the dragonfire font. He grabbed the package with his telekinesis and searched it.
There was a sheet of paper, with a note from Dawn Runner. “Here’s the file, without comment. I have no idea what you’re looking for,” he wrote.
Gold Watch wasn’t sure either, but he expected something to stick out, something different or out of place. It was dry reading, copies of order forms, correspondence with the affected customers, and receipts for the reimbursements. And after several similar looking batches of paperwork, he found one that was different.
There was no reimbursement here. There were three attempts to contact the affected customer, and after 90 days, the file was closed. He looked at the item that was destroyed in the accident, and his jaw dropped.
He quickly penned a note and sent it to the Canterlot police department via the dragonfire font.
Chief:
Please send Silver Flame and a force of officers to Ponyville on the first available train. Officially, you’re coming for my wedding. But I fear I have uncovered a lead into an unsolved crime, and if I have, I need backup.
Gold Watch
And as soon as the note disappeared, Gold Watch galloped out the door.
Gold Watch was breathing hard as he knocked on the door of a small house. His body told him to forget about galloping all the way here, but even the brisk trot he maintained tired him out. And it may have been all for nothing. It was still late afternoon, so it was possible nopony was home. The street was quiet and tree-lined, affording a good deal of privacy to the homeowners.
The door opened, revealing a young earth pony mare, pink with a two-tone red mane. A pegasus colt of perhaps two years was crawling nearby. “Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for Blueprint,” Gold Watch replied. “Does he live here?”
The mare turned and called into the house. “Honey, there’s somepony here to see you.”
A blue pegasus stallion with a mane of darker blue entered the hall. “Who is it?” he asked, before seeing Gold Watch. “Ah, I remember. The guard station redesign! How is the police station treating you?”
“Just fine,” Gold Watch replied. “But I’m here to ask you questions about an investigation. May I come in?”
“Sure,” he replied. “Cherry Sweet, can you make some coffee?”
The mare nodded and headed into the kitchen.
The two stallions sat down in the living room. “I’m afraid I’m at a loss. I’m not aware of any crimes being investigated,” Blueprint said.
“This is actually an old incident. According to Fet Ex, you had a package destroyed during an incident with one of their deliveries. But you never were reimbursed.”
“Oh, that? It was a screw-up on their part.”
“What?”
“Yeah. They were trying to give me money for something I didn’t order. It wouldn’t have been right to take their bits.”
“Are you sure? The order was placed on the 12th of September. The incident occurred on the 18th. Then the first letter was sent on the 24th.”
Cherry Sweet entered the room, a tray holding the coffee service on her back. “Of course we didn’t place that order, Chief,” she said, placing the tray on the coffee table. “If we had, we would have sent it to Fillydelphia.”
“What do you mean?”
“It was not long after little Tinker was born,” Blueprint said. “Business was slow here in Ponyville, so I was looking for a project where I could apply my special talent and earn a few bits. Then I heard about this project in Fillydelphia. A tall skyscraper, with all the bells and whistles, something that would be better than any building in Manehattan, or at least that’s what the locals were saying. But after a week, there was some kind of fight between the mayor and the builders. Not sure what it was, but we stopped work for a week, and then we all got told to go home. And so what I thought was a six month minimum commitment was over within two weeks.”
“Do you remember the specific dates?” Gold Watch asked.
“I remember the contract started September 1st. Well, work started the next day since the 1st was a Sunday. We moved up on Saturday, the 31st, and then there was a week of work, a week of waiting, and then that next Monday, we were told to go home.”
“Did you return to Ponyville that day?”
He nodded. “We got the news in the morning, so yeah. We still had this house, and everything was still packed, so we just went home.”
“We weren’t sure what we were going to do,” Cherry Sweet said.
“But then there were the parasprites, and the Ursa, and, well.... Let’s just say I’ve had no shortage of work over the last year and a half.”
“All right. To confirm, you don’t know how this order was placed under your name?”
“Not at all,” Blueprint said.
“Besides, what would we need with silver dye?” Cherry Sweet said.
And looking at the color of their coats and manes, Gold Watch had to agree.
Gold Watch checked the marketplace, but as he expected, few ponies were selling anything. His next interviewee was probably working on her farm. And sure enough, once he walked there, he spotted Golden Harvest in the fields.
“Golden Harvest!” he called.
The mare rose, wiping her forehead with a muddy fetlock. “Well, hello, Gold Watch! What brings you to the farm?”
“How was Canterlot? Are you done with your work there?”
“I ended up just doing the setup, since I volunteered to watch Dinky. It was fine. A lot of work, but when you follow the song in your heart, it goes smoothly.”
Gold Watch nodded.
“Now, what’s the real reason you’re here?” Golden Harvest asked. “You don’t strike me as a stallion who would come out here just to make some small talk.” She nudged his withers. “Got some wedding jitters?”
“What? No. Just investigating some possible wrongdoing associated with that Fet Ex delivery that fell from the sky a year and a half ago. I want to talk to Miss Ditzy Doo, and I thought you might know when she’s getting back to town.
“She told me that she was coming back on Saturday morning. But I told her I’d watch Dinky until Sunday if she wanted to stay.”
Gold Watch nodded. “And do you know where she went?”
“She told Dinky she was making an important delivery to Baltimare. She’s normally honest about her destination, even if all she’s doing is running from her problems.”
“So she does this a lot?”
“Maybe twice a year. I don’t know why she’s afraid when she messes up. We’re not going to run her out of town. Maybe there’s something in her past, but if there is, she’s never opened up to me.”
“Sounds like an issue for a psychologist, not a carrot farmer,” Gold Watch said.
Golden Harvest laughed. “True! So, do you want me to tell Ditzy Doo that you’re looking for her?”
“No need, ma’am. My questions can wait. And thank you for your time, Golden Harvest.”
With a polite nod, Gold Watch turned and calmly walked away, a calm that was only possible due to a lifetime of practice.
Returning to the police station, he found it far more crowded than normal. His fellow police officers from Canterlot filled his little police department. On the other side of the building, Red Sky smiled and winked at him. “I know a bachelor party when I see one,” he said quietly. He then spoke loud enough for everypony to hear. “Gold Watch, I’m going on patrol. I’m sure I can trust you with Canterlot’s finest. I’m positive they would never foalnap you and drag you on a night of endless debauchery.”
“Thank you, Red Sky. You’re a shining example of a guardspony,” Gold Watch replied.
Red sky donned his helmet and departed. Once he was gone, one of the police officers spoke. “I hope this isn’t just the setup for a bachelor party.”
“Do I look like somepony who needs a bachelor party?” Gold Watch said. “No, I called you here because I have a suspect for the Las Pegasus murder and foalnapping.”
The officers gasped. “Are you sure?” Dawn Runner asked.
“All the evidence is circumstantial. But we can test the filly I suspect was foalnapped. Silver Flame?”
“The standard heritage spell will identify the foal’s mother. If it reveals Morning Sun’s cutie mark, then we’ll know the filly is Morning Glory,” Silver Flame explained.
“Is the foal in danger now?” another officer asked.
“No. We’re in a unique situation here, as the suspect is out of town, but the filly is staying with a friend of the suspect.” Gold Watch posted a map of Ponyville to the corkboard. “The suspect goes by Ditzy Doo, known by the nickname Derpy. Pegasus mare, late twenties, silver-gray coat and blond mane, gold eyes, cutie mark of seven bubbles. She is immediately identifiable by being cross-eyed, and she is known for being a clumsy flier. She works as a mailmare, at the post office here, and lives here.” Gold Watch pressed two pushpins into the map.
“The filly now goes by Dinky Doo. You know her description. But while her mane color and eye color are what you expect, her coat is dyed with a silver dye, making it a grayish purple instead of the vibrant purple we’ve been looking for. While her assumed mother is out of town, she is staying with Golden Harvest and Golden Grain, who live in a farm on the outskirts of town. She goes to school at Ponyville Elementary.” He added two more pushpins to the map.
“I have confirmation from two ponies that the suspect went to Baltimare. Investigation revealed that she leaves town under similar circumstances every three months. I suspect her goal in each of these trips is to pick up more of this silver dye, in such a way that she wouldn’t form a pattern. One time she didn’t do this was approximately 18 months ago, when I suspect she ordered the dye under somepony else’s name and had it shipped to a vacant house. However, these ponies surprisingly moved back before the delivery happened. She volunteered to work with Fetlock Express on the delivery, and messed it up, with several packages destroyed. I suspect she used this as cover to steal the dye she ordered, which was reported destroyed.
“And judging by the amount of dye from this order, our suspect is likely dying herself, suggesting that she has assumed the identity of Ditzy Doo. She should be treated as extremely dangerous, and a flight risk.
“Have you contacted the Baltimare P.D.?” one of the officers asked.
“No, and I don’t think we should. If my suspicions are correct, she’s shown an ability to change her identity. She could get lost in Baltimare, but there’s nowhere to run in a small town like Ponyville.”
“Except the Everfree Forest,” one officer noted.
“Right. We’ll need to prevent that. I want this murderer brought to justice!”
“Does she suspect anything?”
“She shouldn’t. This has literally been one day of investigation.”
“Chief, you’re in charge of this investigation. What are your orders?” Dawn Runner said.
“Our first priority is the safety of the filly. I want surveillance on the Goldens’ farm 24 hours a day, and somepony to keep an eye on the school. The suspect is expected to return on Saturday, but before that, I want somepony watching the train station for every train arriving from Baltimare. Silver Flame, you’re coming with me to the school first thing tomorrow.”
“I’ll contact Open Heart with Foal Protective Services,” one of the officers volunteered. “She’ll make sure we have a court order for you two.”
“Yes, good. I think that’s it. Be alert, and stay safe.”
Gold Watch waited until the officers filed out, and then followed. Waiting outside for him were two ponies.
“Dad,” Colgate said, wagging a potion vial in her aura. “You’re not getting out of this.”
“What a wonderful surprise it was to see your daughter come and visit,” Green Tea said. “And I agree with her. I want my handsome stallion to have brilliant white teeth on our special day.”
“Fine,” Gold Watch grumbled.
Miss Honeydew had finally gotten her class settled down after the morning bell, when the principal opened the door. “Dinky Doo?” he called. “Come with me.”
Immediately, a chorus of ooohs filled the room. The filly in question rose, looking embarrassed.
One alone in the halls, she spoke. “Mr. Principal? Am I in trouble?”
“No, not at all, Dinky Doo,” he replied. “In fact, we’re not going to my office.”
The principal opened the door next to his office, revealing a cluttered room with mismatched furniture. Part of the room was filled with boxes; Dinky Doo recognized the Hearth’s Warming decorations in one of them. But she didn’t recognize the two police officers in the room.
The principal nodded solemnly and closed the door.
“Am I in trouble?” she asked again.
“No, not at all. My name is Gold Watch. I’m the police chief here in Ponyville. This is Silver Flame, a friend of mine from the Canterlot police department.” Gold Watch kneeled, bringing himself to Dinky Doo’s eye level. “We’re here to make extra sure you’re safe.”
“Okay,” she replied hesitantly.
“Silver Flame is going to cast a spell, but all it needs is a hair from your mane,” he said.
“Will it hurt?”
“While we were talking, Silver Flame already cut a hair. So I’d say no.”
“Okay!”
Gold Watch didn’t know the spell, but he knew it was a complicated one, with its result the display of the cutie mark of a pony’s natural mother. He wanted to keep the filly’s attention on him, not on Silver Flame. “So, I heard you went with Golden Harvest to Canterlot for the rodeo.”
“Uh-huh! It was lots of fun. I helped set up all these games, and I got to play with the lambs!”
“That sounds like fun. Is your mommy out of town?”
“Uh-huh! She has an important delivery for Baltimare! I miss her, but I like Aunt Goldie’s cooking, and I get to play with Noi, and when Mommy comes home, she always has a treat for me!”
Gold Watch heard a gasp from Silver Flame. His heart sank. But he focused on his task, looking Dinky Doo in the eye. “Your mommy sounds like a very devoted mare. Now, I think Officer Silver Flame is done. And that means you need to go back to class.”
“Awww.”
Gold Watch escorted Dinky Doo back to her classroom, and then returned to Silver Flame. The stallion looked pale.
“She’s Morning Glory, isn’t she?”
Silver Flame only nodded.
Gold Watch opened the door to the principal’s office. “Principal Bell? Please come with me.”
“What is it?” he asked.
Gold Watch slowly inhaled and exhaled. “We’ll need to get Foal Protective Services involved. For now, I and the police officers from Canterlot will be keeping Dinky Doo safe, but at a distance. There will be an officer outside the school at all times. After school, we will make sure she returns safely to the Goldens. I understand she’s not expected in town today, but under no circumstances are you to let her mother take her. If you see her, sound the fire alarm, and we’ll come. Do you understand?”
The principal nodded.
“Stay strong, Principal Bell, and keep your students safe.”
Just as the weather schedule said, the morning of Gold Watch’s wedding was beautiful. The sun was shining, the temperature was pleasant, and the sky was clear, with only a few clouds drifting above Ponyville.
The weather schedule actually called for clear skies. He had told Rainbow Dash that if the weather team left a few clouds in the sky, he might look the other way for her next prank. And right now, pegasus police officers were using these clouds to maintain surveillance on locations of interest in this investigation.
“Dad, you better not be thinking about your police work today,” Colgate said as she helped him with his tuxedo.
“Guilty as charged,” Gold Watch said, looking out the window of the living room.
“Dad! It’s your wedding day!”
Green Tea entered the room. Her wedding dress looked beautiful, even without the veil and train on. “Colgate, dear, Gold Watch has told me about this investigation.” She came over to Gold Watch and kissed him. “I will always wait for you. Ponies in need don’t have that luxury. Always, always help them first. And speaking of help, Colgate, could you help me with the train?”
“Yes, Green Tea. But isn’t this bad luck?”
“Oh, I’ve never believed those superstitions,” Green Tea said.
“Neither do I,” Gold Watch said. But he needed all the luck he could get today.
Rich Park was simply decorated. The rose trellis was in full bloom, providing a natural centerpiece for the wedding. White streamers were tied around the nearby trees. The only furniture was a simple podium. On Green Tea’s suggestion, they had asked Mr. Wattle, from the Yellow Daisy Social Club, to say the traditional invocation.
The wedding was scheduled for noon, and one member of the wedding party was absent. Dawn Runner was Gold Watch’s best stallion, but when he learned about the crime, he insisted to be the one to watch the train station. He only agreed to let somepony cover for him between 11:00 AM and 1:00 PM.
By this point, Gold Watch had the train schedule memorized. Trains would arrive at 8:15 AM, 10:20 AM, 2:50 PM, and 5:30 PM. Dawn Runner said it would take him seven minutes to run from the train station to the park. The wild cards in the calculation were possible train delays, and the length of time it would take for the passengers to disembark.
So, when his mental clock hit 10:27 AM, Gold Watch focused. He looked in the direction of the train station, and swiveled his ears to pick up any sounds. One minute later, he heard thundering hoofsteps approach. Dawn Runner broke into the park at full gallop.
“Everypony, move!” Gold Watch ordered his fellow officers.
Green Tea ran over to him. “Come home safe,” she said. She pulled him to her, and they kissed. Fireworks exploded overhead.
“Nice touch,” Gold Watch called to Silver Flame. The fireworks spell was there for their first kiss as husband and wife. Today, they were also using it to alert the other officers.
They had agreed it was best to confront Ditzy Doo outside the Goldens’ farm, as there would be fewer bystanders at risk. The pegasi were already in position, and the other officers would hide behind various buildings.
Gold Watch ran to his hiding spot, within a copse of trees in sight of the farmhouse. And now came the hardest part. Waiting.
For twenty-two minutes, Gold Watch waited. He listened for the fireworks that would indicate a change in plans. The suspect was being watched discreetly, in case she went anywhere suspicious. But his gut told him she would make only one stop, at her own home, before heading to pick up her “daughter”.
Finally, Ditzy Doo appeared. The mare was smiling as she flew to the Goldens’, flying erratically and low to the ground. As she neared the door, Gold Watch stepped out, placing Ditzy Doo between him and the farmhouse.
He tapped the badge, now attached to his tuxedo. “Ditzy Doo, you are under arrest for murder and foalnapping. Surrender and come quietly.
The mare’s misaligned eyes opened wide, and she took off into the air. Gold Watch fired the stunning spell he had charged, but she weaved unexpectedly, and his shot went wide.
Around him, police officers sprung into action. In the sky, the pegasi executed a standard pattern to guard against flight, with a pair harrying the suspect while the remainder guarded against the suspect gaining altitude. The unicorns waited for a clear shot with their stunning spells, while the earth ponies readied lassos.
For what felt like ages, but his internal clock told him was less than two minutes, Ditzy Doo dodged and weaved. Gold Watch observed her flight. It was as if years of pretending to be a clumsy flier left her quite capable of flying erratically while making progress. And she was slowly making her way toward the Everfree Forest.
“Whatever you do, do not let her reach the forest!” Gold Watch shouted.
With the situation deteriorating, several of the earth pony officers readied javelins. Still, they had as hard a time getting a clear shot on the suspect. Then, one of the stun spells missed Ditzy Doo and hit one of the pegasus officers. The officer tumbled to the ground, his wings reflexively opening to slow his descent. Seeing an opening, Ditzy Doo pushed toward the Everfree Forest.
From the edge of the forest, a bola flew, scoring a direct hit. The cords wrapped around her hind legs, and the heavy lead balls slowed her flight. She struggled to gain altitude, the extra weight pulling her legs down and exposing her chest.
A pegasus royal guard flew up to her, and leveled his spear at her exposed chest. “The stallion said surrender. If you don’t, I will attack.”
She flapped her wings, only to feel the metal of the spear point pierce her hide. She focused one eye on the guard. She saw the look in his eyes, the muscles ready to thrust. And she slowed her wings, letting herself fall to the ground.
Immediately, the officers grabbed her, attaching the wing binders and hoofcuffs. “Take her away,” Gold Watch ordered. “And thanks for the assist, Silver Shield. How did you know?”
“You left plenty of clues on your map,” he replied. “The school and the homes of two of my son’s friends? That told me to change my normal patrol. But, hey, the Royal Guard is always there to bail you cops out.”
“The best way to do that is to become a cop. And right now, I have no doubt you’re right for the job.” He shook hooves with Silver Shield, and the guardspony took off.
As he surveyed the scene, Gold Watch felt somepony staring at him. Golden Harvest was watching him from the doorway. Her forelegs encircled a crying Dinky Doo comfortingly, but her eyes were full of hatred.
Gold Watch looked to his officers. “Dawn Runner, Mint Julep, come with me.” They approached, slowly.
“Mrs. Golden Harvest. I sincerely wish you didn’t have to see that. But as you have seen, Dinky Doo needs to come with us. She will be placed in the custody of Foal Protective Services until her family can be notified.”
“NO!” the filly screamed. “You hurt my mommy!”
“Golden Harvest, it is my duty as an officer of the law to serve and protect. I know it’s hard to believe what you just saw. But if you care at all about this filly, you know what to do.”
Mint Julep knelt and reached out a foreleg. “You’ll be safe with us,” the policemare told the filly.
“I’ll make sure you and your sister will be able to visit,” Gold Watch said.
Golden Harvest nodded, and slowly pushed the crying filly to the waiting forelegs of Mint Julep.
“Let’s go,” Gold Watch said. “Mint Julep, please stay with Dinky Doo as long as necessary. Meanwhile, Dawn Runner, you need to get dressed.”
Gold Watch arrived back at the park with four minutes to spare. He took his place at Green Tea’s side. There he stood, Celestia’s sun on his back, the fertile earth under his hooves. He felt relief. For eight years, he had worried about the worst crime of his career. He feared the heartless murderer who roamed free, and even more feared for her littlest victim. Now, everypony was safe.
There was still the trial to come, and no doubt the filly would need years of psychological care. But soon, the case would be closed.
Retirement. Gold Watch finally felt like he had earned his retirement.
The crowd murmured. Green Tea nudged his hoof. Gold Watch looked around.
Mr. Wattle cleared his throat. “Do you?” he repeated.
He turned to Green Tea. “I do.”
“Then, under the watchful presence of Princess Celestia, I pronounce you husband and wife.”
Gold Watch and Green Tea kissed. Above them, fireworks decorated the sky, and sounded the good news. And as they kissed under Celestia’s sun, Gold Watch felt it. Friendship. Magic. Harmony. Love. All these things, the greatest lessons of ponykind. Though a life as a cop had shown him plenty of ponies who rejected these lessons, today showed that they would always be triumphant.