'After the quite awkward dinner, Fletcher and Caboose continued to butt heads. Fletcher would chide Caboose for his slapdash attitude, while Caboose would dislike Fletcher for being so uptight and hardcore. But before either of them knew it, things started coming to a head, in...'
Changing Of The Guard (Part Three)
One afternoon, Caboose marched darkly into the house, slamming the door behind him.
"So... how was your day?" Daring frowned, taking note of Caboose's sour expression.
"Terrible!" Caboose pouted. "And do you why it was terrible?"
"I think I can guess..." Daring sighed.
"Fletcher!" Caboose growled.
"I guessed right." Daring frowned.
"He was on my back again today." Caboose snarled. "I was just having a nap, for crying out loud! Nothing was going on, no trouble or anything, but did he care? Noooo!"
"Well, technically, you shouldn't be sleeping on the job..." Daring pointed out.
"Iron didn't mind." Caboose frowned. "Because he knew I could get the job done when trouble came. But Fletcher doesn't care about that. He's such a fuddy-duddy. He wants us all to be his perfect tin soldiers, not matter what!"
"Try and relax, dear..." Hurricane urged.
"How can I relax with that culo-brain on my back all the time?" Caboose scowled. "All he does is tell me how everything I do is wrong, how I should 'shape up' and be more like him... Heh, not in this lifetime."
"I know it's been hard for you, Caboose." Daring sympathized. "But you've gotta face facts. Fletcher's here to stay. The sooner you accept that, the better it'll be for you."
"Somehow, I doubt it." Caboose snarled.
Meanwhile, Fletcher stormed into his own house.
"Welcome back, Fletchy." Dove tried to hug him.
"Not now, Dove." Fletcher gently pushed her away. "I'm not in the mood."
"Oh no." Dove sighed. "What's wrong?"
"It's that blasted Napoleon!" Fletcher roared. "Do you remember that thief I told you about a few days ago?”
“You mean the one who stole the soup to feed his family?” Dove asked.
“Yes!” Fletcher groaned in fury, “I was just bringing in this pickpocket when I found that thief from a while back just being released from jail! When I confronted him, he told me how Napoleon had hired his brother, Lawrence, or whatever his name is, to defend him in court and actually got him off on a technicality! Just a little slap on the hoof!"
“Wait, what kind of technicality?” Dove questioned.
"He said the stolen soup can was inadmissible as evidence, because it was past its sell-by date when it was stolen." Fletcher said indignantly. "Like that even matters! He still stole it, and he needed to be punished!"
“But dear, you were telling me how you felt sorry for the poor stallion the other day.” Dove frowned. “Wouldn’t this actually be a good thing?”
“Yes, but after he took some time to learn what he did was wrong!” Fletcher said in exasperation, “But no, that damn Napoleon went behind my back, pull some strings, and practically gave me the middle hoof!”
"Fletcher..." Dove frowned.
"I can't believe he would go and do something so below the belt!" Fletcher roared. "That traitorous, double-dealing...” He struggled to hold in the last word, but failed miserably. “Breiddjame!"
"Look, maybe you should calm down..." Dove urged.
"Calm?" Fletcher growled. "I don't know much more of that dullard's antics I can take! Ever since I first became captain, he had done nothing but undermine me! Not to mention he’s lazy, have no respect for our code of conduct, and just this morning, I found him snoozing! I mean, Faust, he has to be the worst Royal Guard in the history of Royal Guards!”
“Now, that is going a little too far, don’t you think?” Dove frowned, “Daring told me that the old captain, Iron Hooves, held him in very high regard. Surely, he wouldn’t be saying that about the ‘worst Royal Guard’, would he?”
“I’m sorry, dear, but I cannot see what Iron see in him!” Fletcher growled, “If it were up to me, he'd already be gone! Faust knows he’s lucky that a criminal like him got pardoned and allowed to stay amongst their ranks so long! But no, I can’t do diddly squawk, because he's related to one of the Princesses, meaning I have little choice but to stand around and endure him making a mockery of our noble profession! I did not underwent years of training, just to deal with this buckhole!"
"Look, I know Caboose rubs you the wrong way, Fletchy." Dove placed a hoof gently on his side. "But maybe you should just learn to live with it. Daring's always telling me what a great guy Caboose is. If you just gave him a chance..."
"I already gave him a chance." Fletcher said coldly. "A chance to show me what kind of Guard and stallion he is. He showed me, and I didn't like what I saw. End of discussion."
Fletcher marched up to the bathroom.
"Oh, Fletcher." Dove sighed. "I love you, but you can be so stubborn sometimes..."
Daring and Dove weren't the only ones who were becoming perturbed by Caboose and Fletcher's animosity. Even Celestia had noticed their constant sniping and arguments. If there was one thing a Princess couldn't stand for, it was disharmony. Something had to be done, and she knew just what it was...
One morning, Caboose and Fletcher found themselves called in to the throne.
"Thanks you for coming, gentlecolts." Celestia smiled.
"What's the problem, your highness?" Fletcher asked.
"It's not a problem, per se." Celestia declared. "More of a request."
"What's the request?" Caboose asked.
"I would like for the two of you to chaperone this weekend's Junior Guardsponies wilderness survival course." Celestia smiled.
"Both of us?" Fletcher gasped. "But your highness-"
"No buts." Celestia declared. "I've noticed that the two of you have not been... getting on. You need to learn to start working together, and this weekend could be just what you need."
"A whole weekend with him?!" Caboose growled. "No way!"
"That goes double for me." Fletcher spat. "I must politely decline your request, Princess."
"It may have been a request, but I will make it an order if I have to." Celestia said sternly.
"Your highness, I-" Fletcher started.
"Your grudge against each other has been bringing down morale for the entire Guard." Celestia said harshly. "How do you think it looks when the Captain and the Lieutenant can't agree on anything?"
"It looks... bad?" Caboose offered.
"Yes, it does." Celestia nodded. "Look, I'm not asking you to become best friends, but I am hoping this weekend will help you to learn to look past your differences, and work together."
"...I understand, your highness." Fletcher sighed.
"Guess it wouldn't hurt to try." Caboose groaned.
"Excellent." Celestia smiled. "Hopefully, this weekend will help you get a better perspective of each other."
As Fletcher and Caboose marched out of the throne room, Fletcher grimaced.
"I don't care how wise Celestia is." He declared. "She's way off target on this one. I will never accept a sloppy, dim-witted clown like you as my comrade."
"Yeah?" Caboose snarled. "Me neither, ya... stupid-head!"
"What witty repartee." Fletcher rolled his eyes. "Like a young Oscolt Wilde."
"Thanks... I think." Caboose shrugged.
"It's clear that we will always despise each other." Fletcher declared. "So let's just stay out of each other's way, and get through the weekend, alright?"
"Suits me just fine." Caboose growled.
Back home, Caboose was preparing for the weekend.
"I can't believe this." He said to Daring. "I have to spend an entire weekend with that guy, out in the wild, training the Junior Guardsponies..."
"Maybe it won't be that bad." Daring suggested. "Maybe Fletcher will be so busy teaching the kids all those 'wilderness survival' lessons, he won't have time to rag on you."
Hurricane suddenly rushed into the room, having overheard their conversation.
"Wait, did you just say Fletcher will be teaching the wilderness survival course?" She gasped.
"Yes." Caboose said flatly.
"Awesome!" Hurricane grinned. "A whole weekend of being around Fletcher!"
"And me." Caboose added.
"Yeah, yeah." Hurricane waved it off. "But being with Fletcher for two days? It's like a dream come true!"
'Don't get too excited, sweetie.' Caboose thought. 'You won't be getting that much face time with Captain jerk. Not if I can help it...'
That Saturday, Caboose and Hurricane prepared to leave for the castle to join the others. They were both carrying packs full of survival gear.
"Be safe, sweetie." Daring kissed Hurricane goodbye.
"Of course I will, mom." Hurricane smiled. "I'll have Fletcher looking out for me."
Caboose cleared his throat.
"Oh, and dad." Hurricane said sheepishly.
"Bye, Hurri." Michael hugged his big sister. "Bye, daddy."
"Don't be so sad, little guy." Caboose smiled. "We'll be back soon."
"That's right." Hurricane nodded. "Now, you be good for mom, and I might just bring you back a present."
"Yay!" Michael cheered.
"Good luck, 'Boosey." Daring kissed Caboose. "Try not to let Fletcher get under your skin."
"I'll try." Caboose sighed. "No promises, though." He turned to Hurricane, who was hugging Michael. "Let's go, sweetie."
"Right behind you, dad!" Hurricane grinned.
Caboose and Hurricane made their way to the castle grounds, where the other Junior Guardsponies were gathered.
"There you are, Lieutenant." Fletcher declared. "And Hurricane. So nice to have you join us."
"Thanks..." Hurricane gushed.
"Please join your fellow Junior Guardsponies, and we can get going." Fletcher declared.
"Yes, sir." Hurricane saluted. She rushed over to the others, getting in line besides Gauntlet.
"Hey, Hurri." Gauntlet smiled.
"Hi, Gauntlet." Hurricane grinned.
"This is gonna be great, isn't?" Gauntlet asked enthusiastically. "Being out in the wild, learning how to survive..."
"Yeah." Hurricane nodded. "Of course, it helps to have the right stallion with you..."
"Well, I don't like to brag..." Gauntlet smirked.
"And Fletcher is that stallion." Hurricane sighed. "With him teaching us, we'll be all set. He's just the best, isn't he?"
"Oh, yeah." Gauntlet said sourly. "Just the best..."
"Ready, Lieutenant?" Fletcher asked.
"Oh, I'm ready." Caboose said petulantly. "Are you?"
"Ready than you'll ever be." Fletcher scoffed.
"Why, you…" Caboose growled.
"Junior Guardsponies, move out!" Fletcher declared.
Following Fletcher's lead, the Junior Guardsponies marched over to a small forest outside Canterlot. Once they reached a clearing, Fletcher stopped.
"At ease." Fletcher declared. He looked around. "This looks like an excellent place to make camp."
"Yeah, whatever." Caboose frowned. "I could found a better one, though..."
The Junior Guardsponies set down their survival packs.
"Okay, Junior Guardsponies, listen up." Fletcher declared. "We have a lot to do this weekend. We'll mostly be going over the basic survival techniques. Nothing too complicated. This is your first time out here, so I'll go easy on you..."
"You never go easy on anypony else..." Caboose muttered.
"Now, the first item on a survivalist's list is to build a shelter." Fletcher announced, ignoring Caboose. "In a place like this, there is ample raw materials. Wood, vines, stones for bracing... The Lieutenant and I will show you how to make them. Shan't we, Lieutenant?"
"Oh, yeah." Caboose nodded, before whispering "Bet mine's better than yours."
"Just try and keep up." Fletcher taunted.
As the Junior Guardsponies watched, the two constructed their shelters. Fletcher's turned out to be a masterpiece: a perfectly formed lean-to with a roof made out of leafs, supports formed from branches and vines, and rocks to help brace the whole thing. In comparison, Caboose's was a mess: a mismatched structure of uneven proportions, yet it was still suitable for its function, standing upright in spite of its shambolic design.
"Has anypony told you your architectural skills are somewhat lacking, Lieutenant?" Fletcher growled. "That's less of a shelter, and more of a disaster with a roof."
"What's the big deal?" Caboose asked. "It works, doesn't it?"
"It works, but it looks appalling." Fletcher frowned, trying to keep a cool head for the children. "Even out in the wilderness, it doesn't hurt to show a little professionalism."
"Whatever." Caboose snorted. "Okay kids, now it's your turn. Your shelter can be boring like Fletcher's, or cool like mine. Your choice."
A couple of the kids (including Gauntlet) chuckled at Caboose's statement. Fletcher scowled.
'I won't let you make these kids into clowns like you, Napoleon...' He thought.
The kids put together their shelters. Some were like Caboose's, others like Fletcher's (Hurricane's especially).
"Well done." Fletcher declared. "Now, let's move on to gathering food."
"Food." Caboose smiled. "At last, you're speaking my language."
Fletcher led the group over to a berry bush.
"Now, it's important to be able to recognize which berries are safe for equine consumption." Fletcher declared. "These berries, for example, are not safe."
"They look okay to me." Caboose shrugged.
"To the uneducated stallion, yes." Fletcher sneered. "But these berries can induce powerful stomach aches, and even on occasion, hallucinations."
"So?" Caboose asked. "Those hallucinations can be pretty trippy. It's worth a stomach ache, if you ask me."
"Well, I didn't." Fletcher growled. "Remember the old adage, young Guardsponies: 'Leaves of three, let it be'."
"Wow, Fletcher is so smart, isn't he?" Hurricane whispered.
"More like a know-it-all, if you ask me." Gauntlet pouted.
"Leaves of four, eat some more!" Caboose chuckled, pointing out another berry bush.
"Yes, well, those berries are actually safe to eat." Fletcher said grudgingly.
"See?" Caboose smirked, eating one. "You're not the only one who knows a thing or two about the wild. Help yourselves, kids!"
The Junior Guardsponies rushed over to pick the berries.
"I suppose even a broken clock is right twice a day." Fletcher muttered under his breath.
After the Junior Guardsponies gathered enough berries to last them, the sun started to set.
"Alright, time for the next lesson: Starting a campfire." Fletcher declared. "Everypony gather some wood."
The Junior Guardsponies rushed around, gathering fallen twigs and branches.
"And now, to start the fire." Fletcher smiled.
"I got this." Caboose smirked. He fired a bolt of magic into one pile of wood, igniting it. "Ta-daa!"
"That's all well and good, but what about the non-Unicorns?" Fletcher pointed out. "For those without magic, starting a fire is a little trickier. There are several ways of doing so; Rubbing sticks together, striking rocks to produce sparks, and even using a flint to ignite it. I will demonstrate all those methods for you."
True to his word, Fletcher demonstrated the procedures one by one. The Junior Guardsponies "ooh"ed and "ah"ed repeatedly.
"Show off." Caboose frowned.
"Isn't he amazing?" Hurricane sighed.
"Hrrr..." Gauntlet growled.
"Alright, troops." Fletcher declared. "Let's cook up some dinner, then call it a night. We've got a big day tomorrow."
The Junior Guardsponies gathered around their newly-made fires, roasting carrots and corn that they had brought in their packs. After eating, they all got into their shelters and bunkered down for the night.
As Fletcher and Caboose made to settle in, they threw each other an angry glare.
"Watch yourself, Lieutenant." Fletcher declared. "Don't make a habit of challenging my techniques in front of the kids."
"Maybe you should lighten up." Caboose shot back. "Besides, Celestia sent us both out here, so she obviously thinks I've got something to bring to the table."
"Yes." Fletcher nodded. "It's called 'comic relief'."
"Funny guy." Caboose snorted.
"I'd prefer if you'd focus on actually teaching these kids instead of tickling their bones." Fletcher said sourly. "They're out here to learn, remember?"
"I remember." Caboose scowled. "But they're still kids. It won't hurt for them to have a little fun."
"A little, yes." Fletcher admitted. "But that doesn't mean you have to make a joke out of everything."
"Fine, whatever." Caboose snorted. "Can I go to bed now? I've had enough of your uptight face for one day."
"And I've had enough of your vacant stares for one day." Fletcher shot back. "Good night, Lieutenant."
"...Night, Captain." Caboose growled.
The next morning, Fletcher woke everypony at the crack of dawn.
"Up and at 'em, everypony!" He yelled.
The Junior Guardsponies sleepily emerged from their shelters. Caboose, however, stayed where he was, still asleep.
"That means you, Lieutenant!" Fletcher roared.
"Ah!" Caboose yelped. "I'm up, I'm up!"
Caboose scrambled out of his shelter and stood beside Fletcher.
"Now, that everypony's awake…" Fletcher huffed, glaring at Caboose for a moment. "Today, we will be teaching 'specialty' survival techniques. That is to say, techniques that can only be performed by the individual pony races. All Unicorns line up beside Lieutenant Caboose. Everypony else, by me."
The kids complied (Hurricane rushing over to Fletcher). Fletcher gave Caboose a look that screamed out "Don't mess this up." Caboose shot back with his best "I know what I'm doing" face.
"Okay, for all us hornheads, it's essential to learn how to send up magical distress flares, in order to alert potential rescuers." Caboose said, in his most authoritative voice. "Let me show you how it's done."
Screwing up his face in concentration, Caboose willed his magic into being, firing a burst of energy that flew up into the sky, then exploded into a burst of light.
"A little bright, don't you think?" Fletcher asked. "The idea is to alert potential rescuers, not blind them."
"It's supposed to grab their attention, isn't it?" Caboose shrugged. "Everypony from miles around must've seen that!"
The Unicorns chuckled lightly.
"Thank you, I'll be here all weekend." Caboose bowed. "Now, let's see you guys try!"
As the Unicorn kids worked on their own flares, Fletcher turned to his own charges.
"Now then." He declared. "For the Pegasi, I'm going to need you all to start some fires again. That should give me time to tutor the Earth Ponies. Come along kids."
"Come on, guys!" Hurricane yelled. "Let's go get some wood!"
"Oh, sure." Gauntlet muttered. "Wouldn't want to keep Mr. Perfect waiting..."
As the Pegasi got to work gathering wood, Fletcher turned to the Earth Ponies.
"This little trick is a tough one." Fletcher admitted. "But I have faith you can master it. You see, we Earth Ponies have a special connection to the ground beneath our feet. With the right amount of focus, you can 'map' your surroundings without even looking. Close your eyes."
They all closed their eyes.
"Now, try to feel the forest around you." Fletcher instructed. "Feel it through your hooves. Open your minds to the connection our kind has with the soil."
For a few moments, there was silence, as the Earth Ponies concentrated.
"I don't feel anything." One said.
"Me neither." Another frowned.
"I felt like there was something behind me.." Another admitted.
"That's okay." Fletcher said kindly. "It's a difficult technique to master. Took me a while to get the hang of it. Just keep at it, and I'm sure you'll see some progress by this trip's end."
By that time, the Pegasi had gathered the wood, and sparked some fires.
"Ah, good work." Fletcher walked over to them. "Now, you will be taught in the art of smoke signals. Like the flares that the Lieutenant was so gracefully demonstrating, these can be used to alert others to your presence. Open up those wings, everypony."
The Pegasi complied.
"Now, flap in slow, regular intervals." Fletcher instructed. "That way, the smoke will break up into distinct clouds, standing out for others to see."
The Pegasi started flapping. Some were flapping too weakly. Others, like Gauntlet, were flapping a touch too hard. Hurricane, however, was flapping just right.
"Well done, Hurricane." Fletcher smiled, walking over to her. "That's just perfect."
"Oh, it's probably just beginner's luck..." Hurricane blushed.
"There's no such thing as luck." Fletcher placed a hoof on Hurricane's shoulder. "You have skill, my dear."
"Thanks..." Hurricane smiled, trying not to quiver like jello.
"Keep this up, and there'll there be another perfect grade in your future." Fletcher grinned.
"Oh, I will!" Hurricane squeaked. "You can count on me, Captain!"
"Excellent." Fletcher smiled, walking to check on the others.
"He touched me..." Hurricane sighed. "Me..."
Gauntlet scowled, having watched the whole thing. He flapped harder than ever, accidentally causing the burning wood to scatter over the ground.
"A little too hard there, Mr. Hooves." Fletcher admonished him. "Might want to ease back on the power."
"Yes, sir..." Gauntlet hissed.
Once the fires were put out, they moved on to the next lesson.
"As I'm sure you know, the wild is filled with hostile creatures." Fletcher declared. "And you need to learn how to defend yourselves against them. Of course, fighting a beast is different from fighting another pony. There are far different techniques required to drive them away. Lieutenant Napoleon here will help me demonstrate. Ready, Lieutenant?"
"Oh, yeah..." Caboose smirked, taking his place beside Fletcher.
"Now, the best way to repel a wild animal is with a punch to the nose." Fletcher declared. "Like so..."
Fletcher swung at Caboose... who caught the hoof, and flipped him onto his back.
"Gah!" Fletcher yelped.
'Consider that a little payback for your first day, Cap.' Caboose thought.
"Lieutenant, I couldn't help but notice you deviated from the lesson plan." Fletcher scowled.
"Hey, some animals have claws for grabbing." Caboose pointed out. "Ya gotta be prepared, right?"
"Yes." Fletcher nodded. "And some animals... can pounce!"
Fletcher leapt at Caboose, tackling and pinning him.
"You see?" Fletcher asked. "Lose your focus, and you're done for."
"Unless you do... this!" Caboose pulled a hoof free and punched Fletcher on the nose.
"Ah!" Fletcher cringed, stepping back, as Caboose stood up. "Yes... but there are other techniques that can bring down an attacking animal. Like this, for instance..."
Fletcher swept a hoof across Caboose's legs, tripping him.
"Yikes!" Caboose yelped.
"You see, kids?" Fletcher asked. "Cutting the legs out from under them is another useful strategy. Especially against the dumber animals..."
Caboose suddenly grabbed Fletcher's tail, dragging him across the dirt and bringing him down again.
"Grabbing the tail works, too." Caboose smirked. "Especially against the smug animals who are too big-headed to notice what's going on behind them."
"There's a flaw in that strategy." Fletcher growled. "When you pull an animal's tail, it gets angry!"
Fletcher dived at Caboose, pinning him again.
"And an angry animal can make quick work of a pony's soft underbelly." He declared.
"Not if the pony is quicker!" Caboose yelled, flipping Fletcher around, so he was on top.
"But what if the animal gets you by the neck?" Fletcher put Caboose in a headlock.
"The ol' nose punch should do the trick!" Caboose punched Fletcher.
His temper rising, Fletcher grappled with Caboose, who fought back in kind.
"You need to think your way around an animal's savage fury!" Fletcher insisted.
"No, you gotta fight instinct with instinct!" Caboose retorted.
The Junior Guardsponies stared at them, a tad nonplussed. Even Hurricane was a little bemused at Fletcher's actions.
"Is this going to be on a test, or something?" One of the kids asked.
Caboose and Fletcher stopped, painfully aware of what they were doing.
"Well, ah..." Fletcher cleared his throat as he and Caboose broke apart. "Not as such, no..."
"It's just... y'know, the basics." Caboose shrugged. "Li'l somethin' to have in your back pocket..."
"...Shall we move on?" Fletcher asked awkwardly.
"Good idea." Caboose cringed. "Come along, kids..."
Meanwhile, back in Canterlot, Daring and Dove were having coffee together. Michael was sitting behind Daring, feeding breadcrumbs to Dinah.
"How do you think it's going out there?" Dove asked.
"I hope it's going okay." Daring declared. "But that's just wishful thinking."
"Maybe not." Dove shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe a little time together is just what those two need to start getting along."
"Well, they do have to set an example for the kids." Daring admitted. "Maybe they can put their differences aside for their young charges."
"I hope so." Dove sighed. "Fletcher's a good stallion, but he can be so strict and stiff sometimes. Sometimes, I wish he was a little more loose... like Caboose."
"Yeah, my 'Boosey really knows how to loosen up." Daring chuckled. "But he can also be kind of a walking disaster area. The amount of damage he's caused over the years..."
"But at least he's willing to let his heart do the thinking." Dove sighed. "For Fletchy, it's all about procedure, and going by the book."
"Well, at least he's cute." Daring admitted. "I didn't want to say anything, for Caboose's sake..."
"You're right, though." Dove smiled. "Fletchy is the most handsome stallion I've ever met. But having a husband as hot as him can be both a boon and a curse, y'know? All those random mares, drooling over him... Though at least I can take pride, knowing that I can rub it in the faces of the mares who try to come onto him that he's totally devoted to me. In all the time we've been together, he's barely even looked at another girl."
"Now that's devotion." Daring grinned. "Caboose is the same. Even when this totally hot old marefriend of his showed up, he barely gave her the time of the day. He made sure to let her know that I'm his one and only."
"Well, looks like our guys have at least one thing in common after all." Dove smiled.
"Yeah." Daring nodded. "If only they'd realise that they're not so different, they could actually start to connect."
"That's the spirit." Dove nodded. "Maybe they're starting to get along better even as we speak."
Back in the forest, Caboose and Fletcher were putting out the fire on a tree, as the kids watched.
"And that, Junior Guardsponies, is why you should never use a flare near a tree." Caboose said sheepishly.
"I think it's time you kids gathered some water from the stream." Fletcher said sternly. "Lietenant, could you please join me at the campsite?"
"yeah, sure." Caboose shrugged.
As the Junior Guardsponies headed to the stream, Fletcher and Caboose went back to the campsite. Once they got there, a verbal dressing-down began
"Nice work, Lieutenant." Fletcher growled. "If your goal was to teach those kids to burn the forest down!"
"Hey, it's not my fault!" Caboose yelled. “That tree was in the way!”
"Did it never occur to you to take those kids to a clearing, where that wouldn't happen?" Fletcher snorted. "No, it didn't! I don't know what Celestia was thinking. A fool like you has no business teaching!"
"Hey!" Caboose growled. "I'm just as qualified to teach these kids as you are! Captain or not, you're still just a rookie! I've been a Royal Guard for years!"
“The only thing you are is a fraud!” Fletcher snarled.
“…What?” Caboose hissed.
“You heard me…” Fletcher growled, “You are a fraud! You are not a Royal Guard! You are some lunatic that got in by faking your credentials, courtesy of your crime boss brother, and having the audacity to say you ‘served in Saddle Arabia’! I met those ponies, and you are nothing like them!”
“So what?!” Caboose protested. “I may not have had medals stuck to my chest when I joined, but I had earned my place here! Ask any of our comrades, or even the royal family, they would vouch for me and say that I am a great Guard!”
"Pisspreik!” Fletcher cursed in Norhayan. “The only reason that you are even still here is because of your relation to Princess Dust! And all those so-called achievements you made, it was nothing but DUMB LUCK!”
“Dumb luck?!” Caboose gaped in fury.
“That’s right!” Fletcher snarled, “Anything you ‘considered’ an accomplishment was a product of your klutzy nature and dumb luck! It’s a miracle you had made it this far without having screwed Canterlot, let alone all of Equestria over!”
Caboose stepped back, a bit blown back by his harsh words... but he stood firm, as Caboose’s glare hardened.
“...So what?” Caboose growled.
“What you say?” Fletcher demanded.
“That’s right, so buckin’ what?!” Caboose repeated harshly, “Sure, I may had screwed up a lot in the past, and sure, I had been lucky that no one suffered because of those screw ups... but don’t you dare assume that my accomplishments mean nothing! Because like it or not, I have proven my worth as a Royal Guard a thousand times over! And you can badmouth me, treat me like crap, and even break my hooves to your heart’s content, but I am the one of the best Guards you will ever get! Not because I'm some jarhead from a jarhead school, but because I have compassion, and I think out of the box, and I'm a good fighter, and... other stuff!” He then jabbed Fletcher’s chest. “And you can take that to the bank!”
“That doesn't make a Royal Guard in my book.” Fletcher snarled coldly, “In fact, if anything, you are a joke. I never thought I'd say this to another pony’s face, but you brought this upon yourself. You are a clumsy, talentless, brainless little thug. You're a pathetic waste of a stallion, and you certainly don't deserve to wear that armor. Your daughter has more talent and skill than you will ever have. Clearly, she did not get that from you..."
"Don't you dare bring my daughter into this." Caboose scowled. "Bad enough she worships the ground you walk on..."
“Worship me?” Fletcher blustered, “That is absurd! Why in Equestria would she worship me? I am but a pony like her!”
“...Faust, Dove was right, you really have no clue about mares coming on to you!” Caboose shook his head in disbelief, “What does Hurricane honestly see in you?!”
"I don’t know what thoughts you think your daughter has for me, but I can tell you that it is obviously respect for her superiors, which is more than can be said for you.” Fletcher growled. “Young ponies need decent role models. And while you may be a decent father, it pains me that such potential your daughter has will dwindle if she grows up to be anything like you! "
"What did I just say?!" Caboose snarled.
"You know what? Let's just get this weekend over with." Fletcher said flatly. "The sooner I get to be away from you, the better."
"That's one other thing we agree on." Caboose spat. "I can't wait to escape your preachy, smug attitude."
"Nor I your clumsy, brainless foolishness." Fletcher sneered. "Let's just try to stay out of each other's way until then."
"Fine." Caboose glared.
"Fine." Fletcher stared back.
They marched off to opposite ends of the campsite. Shortly after, the Junior Guardsponies returned with their water.
"Good job, young ones." Fletcher declared. "At least there are some here who can get the job done..."
"Whatever." Caboose huffed. "It's getting late. Shouldn't we be going to sleep about now?"
"For once, you're right." Fletcher nodded. "Time to turn in, everypony."
The Junior Guardsponies all took to their shelters. Caboose and Fletcher followed suit, pointedly looking away from each other. Ironically, they shared the same thought as they fell asleep:
'I can't wait to get out of here, and away from him.'
The next morning, Gauntlet went off to get some more water. As he was at the stream, he was joined by Hurricane.
"Hey, Gauntlet." Hurricane smiled.
"Oh, so you remember my name?" Gauntlet pouted.
"Huh?" Hurricane frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you've been spending all weekend mooning over Fletcher, and barely saying two words to me." Gauntlet retorted.
"No, I haven't Hurricane frowned.
"Yes, you have." Gauntlet snorted. "You can't go more than five minutes without talking about that guy."
"Oh, how awesome is Fletcher?" Hurricane sighed. "He's so brave, and smart, and handsome..."
"What did I just say?" Gauntlet growled.
"And he's such a great teacher." Hurricane smiled. "I've learned so much from him..."
"Yeah, that's terrific." Gauntlet said sourly. "Now, back to us-"
"Hey, maybe one day, I'll get to work alongside him as a Royal Guard." Hurricane sighed dreamily. "That would be wonderful. Just me and Fletcher..."
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT HIM?!" Gauntlet suddenly roared. "Ever since you first laid eyes on the guy, you've been going on about him non-stop!"
"I have not!" Hurricane blushed lightly.
"Yes, you have!" Gauntlet pointed out. "And you've been so desperate to impress him, you've been blowing off everything else, including me!"
"Gauntlet... I had no idea." Hurricane apologised. "I didn't mean..."
"Save it." Gauntlet snarled. "It's obvious you care more about Mr. Perfect than you do me, your own coltfriend."
"...What's that supposed to mean?" Hurricane asked.
"Oh, please." Gauntlet snorted. "You're totally crushing on that guy!"
"I am not!" Hurricane yelled, blushing harder.
"You are." Gauntlet sniffed, his eyes watering. "Do you any idea how much that hurts? To have the girl I care about most just push me aside for somepony else?! I thought we had something special!"
"We do!" Hurricane yelled.
"Don't lie to me." Gauntlet sneered. "I've seen the looks you give Fletcher. They're the same looks you used to give me!"
Hurricane lowered her head, starting to feel guilty.
"It's kinda pathetic, actually." Gauntlet snorted. "A filly mooning after a grown stallion..."
"I'm pathetic?!" Hurricane yelled, her guilt fading away instantly. "You're the one getting all crazy jealous! Why can't you be more in control of yourself, like-"
"Like Fletcher?" Gauntlet sneered. "Why don't you just marry him if you love him so much? Oh wait, you can't. He's already engaged... to a grown mare! So why don't you give that sad obsession of yours a rest?"
"How dare you talk to me like that!" Hurricane snarled, her temper rising. "You total jerk!"
"You're the jerk!" Gauntlet shot back. "You've been ignoring me for weeks, just so you can drool over that guy!"
I HAVE NOT!" Hurricane yelled at the top of her voice. "Now quit saying that, or I'll-"
"What?" Gauntlet dared her. "Break up with me? Why not? It's not like you've been much of a marefriend lately! I'll barely notice the difference!"
"Yeah, well... you're a lousy coltfriend!" Hurricane shot back.
“Says the marefriend who has been ‘cheating’ on him with a guy much older than her!” Gauntlet snapped. “I have been nothing but patient over these past couple of weeks, but now, I've had enough...”
“...What are you saying?” Hurricane frowned, not liking what she was hearing.
“I’m saying I’m done.” Gauntlet snarled. “Done with this thing we once called a relationship!”
"Gauntlet, please..." Hurricane sniffed. "Don't do this...
"I don't want to hear it." Gauntlet said coldly. "Or anything out of your mouth ever again."
"...Fine." Hurricane's face hardened (though her eyes still showed signs of anguish). "Your loss, pal."
"In your dre-" Gauntlet started.
A snarl suddenly ran through the air. The young ponies turned in the direction of the snarl, where a manticore suddenly emerged from between the trees.
"Oh, buck..." Gauntlet gulped.
"Nice... kitty?" Hurricane quivered.
The manticore roared at the top of its lungs.
Their screams were heard all the way back at camp. The other Junior Guardponies, Caboose and Fletcher rushed out of their shelters.
"Hurricane!" Caboose gasped.
"Gauntlet..." Fletcher frowned, as he then went back into his tent... and came back out with his bow, as he rushed off towards the direction of the screams, he ordered. “Kids, stay here!"
"Wait for me!" Caboose followed.
At the stream, the manticore lunged. Hurricane and Gauntlet barely managed to dodge, ducking under as it leapt at them. It turned around, and started padding over to them. The two of them of them were trapped against a small ridge, preventing them from running.
"Hurricane!" Caboose yelled, as he and Fletcher came into view.
"Stay calm, kids!" Fletcher called.
"Oh, great." Gauntlet sneered at Hurricane. "Your new coltfriend's here to save the day."
"Seriously?" Hurricane glared. "You're doing this now?"
In her indignation, Hurricane took her eyes off the manticore. Sensing her distraction, it pounced.
"Look out!" Gauntlet pushed Hurricane out of the way, barely avoiding the beast's claws himself. He slapped the manticore's nose with his wings. "Over here, kitty!"
"Gauntlet, what are you doing?" Hurricane asked.
"Distracting it!" Gauntlet yelled, dodging the manticore's swing. "Now run!"
Hurricane rushed over to Caboose and Fletcher.
"Please, help him!" She urged. "That thing'll tear him apart!"
"Not if I can help it!" Caboose declared.
Caboose ran over and jumped on the manticore's back, pinning the scorpion tail as he did. The beast roared, as it tried to shake Caboose off.
"What are you doing, you reckless fool?!" Fletcher yelled.
"What's it look like?" Caboose asked. "Saving the day!"
"Hold on, dad!" Hurricane called.
"I'm holdin', alright!" Caboose cried, as he hung on for dear live, resisting the manticore's attempts to remove him.
"I'll handle this." Fletcher readied his bow. “A good shot to the neck oughta ward him off…”
After a few seconds aiming, he fired the arrow. The arrow flew towards the beast, moments from hitting it’s target... only for it to miss, shearing off a clump of fur.
"What?" Fletcher gaped. "I never miss..."
With one mighty movement, the manticore dislodged Caboose, sending him slamming into the ground.
"How'd I do?" Caboose said dazedly. "Did I break the riding record?"
The manticore swung its claw, slashing Gauntlet's leg.
"AHH!" Gauntlet yelled, dropping to the ground.
"No!" Hurricane yelped.
The manticore closed in on Gauntlet, ready to finish him.
"Not today, whiskers!" Caboose roared, firing a magic flare right at the manticore.
The beast roared in pain and blindness as the flashing light struck.
"Time to kick some tail!" Caboose charged over and pummelled the blinded beast. He punched it in the face, kicked its shins, and pulled its mane.
"Holy Faust..." Fletcher gaped, amazed.
"Go, dad!" Hurricane cheered.
Finally, Caboose grabbed its tail, and started swinging it around, and around... until he let go sending it flying into the horizon.
"So long, snakekitty'!" Caboose called, before turning to the others. "That's how it's done."
"Gauntlet!" Hurricane rushed over. "Are you okay?"
"I've been better..." Gauntlet groaned, holding his bloody leg.
"I'm so sorry." Hurricane wept. "I should never have ignored you. You really are the best coltfriend ever..” Her eyes welled up more. “Or at least... were…”
"It's not all your fault..." Gauntlet groaned. "I totally overreacted. I just... didn't want to lose you."
"But you said-" Hurricane started.
"I was angry." Gauntlet sighed. "Truth is, I love being your coltfriend. And I'd still like to be your coltfriend, if you'll have me."
"Of course I will." Hurricane hugged him gently. "You're the best guy ever."
"What about Fletcher?" Gauntlet asked.
"Fletcher didn't just save me from a manticore." Hurricane grinned. "Forget him. You're my hero now."
"That's all I wanted to hear." Gauntlet smiled, nuzzling against her.
"Please step aside, Hurricane." Fletcher said solemnly. "I must bind Gauntlet's wound."
"Okay." Hurricane nodded with a whimper.
Caboose noticed that Fletcher had an odd look on his face as he helped Gauntlet. He wasn't sure quite what it was.
Not long after, they returned to Canterlot, Gauntlet's injuries necessitating a professional's opinion. They took him to the Canterlot hospital, where a doctor looked him over.
"He's going to be okay." The doctor announced. "There'll be some minor scarring, but nothing too serious."
"Thanks, doc." Caboose smiled.
Suddenly, Iron Hooves rushed into the room.
"I came as soon as I heard." He said worriedly. "Are you okay, son?"
"I'm fine, dad." Gauntlet smiled at Fletcher and Caboose. "Thanks to these two."
"Thank you both so much." Iron told them. "You saved my son."
"Actually, the Lieutenant deserves all the credit." Fletcher said quietly. "I... didn't really do anything."
"Huh?" Caboose frowned. "But you-"
"Excuse me." Fletcher sighed, leaving the room.
"What was that all about?" Iron asked.
"Search me." Caboose shrugged. "That's the first time he's actually given me any sort of credit. The new Captain and I haven't exactly been... getting on."
"I've heard." Iron declared. "Some of my old friends in the Guard... But you know, Caboose, I chose Fletcher for my replacement because I knew you could learn from him."
"Really?" Caboose gaped.
"Really." Iron nodded. "Fletcher has all kinds of skills that would work for you just as well. You're already a good Guard, but with his help, you could be greater"
"I didn't really think of it like that..." Caboose frowned.
"And I was hoping you could teach him too." Iron added.
"Me?" Caboose gaped. "What could I possibly teach him?"
"Well, for one, that you don't have be a perfect soldier to be a good one." Iron smiled. "And that you don't always to go by the book. Fletcher's always had some self-worth issues, you see. He thinks the only way he can be of value is to abide by the rules, and never make mistakes. But we both know there's more to it than that, right?"
"Yeah..." Caboose mused, reflecting on Iron's words. "...Right."
The next day, Caboose entered the barracks. He had pondered over what Iron had said about him and Fletcher, and wasn’t sure if he was actually being serious about Fletcher having problems regarding perfection. Fletcher was practically perfection, with a beautiful fiancée, an excellent job, and the respect of everypony around him... except him.
'You know, I really haven't been a good pony to him.' He thought.
'What are you talking about?' His other side asked. 'He's a jerk!'
'Yeah, but he's just trying to do a good job.' His rational self retorted. 'It's not easy, starting a new job in a place...'
'Oh, boo-hoo. Cry me a river!'
'I should go talk to him. Straighten things out.'
'Over my dead body!'
'If you insist...'
'Hey, where'd that axe come from? What are you doing?'
'What do you think I'm doing? Since the needle didn't seem to leave an impression, I need something with a little more... impact.'
'Thunk!'
'Aaaah!'
'Good riddance...'
As Caboose walked past Fletcher's office, something instantly caught his attention as he quickly walked back to see him packing up his possessions from his desk.
"Captain?" Caboose asked. "What are you doing?"
"Oh...” Fletcher looked up for a moment. “Hello, Lieutenant…"
“What are you doing?” Caboose frowned “Why are you packing up your desk?”
“It’s nothing, lieutenant.” Fletcher sighed. “I’m just leaving.”
“Leaving?” Caboose frowned. “As in ‘for a few days’ leaving?”
“No, Caboose... I’m leaving. I’m going back to Norhay.” Fletchter said, though a little more gruff.
“Wha-wha-what?!” Caboose gaped. “Why?! You just got here!”
“I failed, Caboose.” Fletcher said flatly. “Because of me, one of my charges just injured.”
“Is this about Gauntlet?” Caboose stepped into the room. “Fletcher, what happened on that trip wasn’t your fault. It was just a random freak manticore attack. Besides, Gauntlet is fine. He might need physical therapy for a little while, but he’s still kickin’!”
"But he wouldn’t need therapy had I not missed that shot that could had scared the manticore off moments sooner."
“Wait. So... you're quitting because you missed one shot?" Caboose asked.
"It's not the shot that matters." Fletcher declared. "It's the injury that poor colt suffered. I was supposed to protect him... but I didn't. Not only was he a student, but he is the son of the stallion who entrusted me with his position as captain. Not only I failed his son, I failed him!"
“Come on, Captain. Iron doesn’t blame you. No one is blaming you.” Caboose urged, “If this is about the way I acted, I’m-”
“No, Caboose, you don’t need to apologize.” Fletcher shook his head, “All this time, I had been calling you the disgrace to the armor…when it was me who was the disgrace.”
“Fletcher, please…” Caboose murmured, using his first name.
“And when I failed, you face down that manticore like he was just dumb turtle who had beef with a plumber. It only made the feeling of my failure sting even worse.” Fletcher groaned.
“But…how can you give up like this?” Caboose frowned.
"Because I failed as a Guard." Fletcher sighed. "I don't deserve to be here."
"Oh, please, I fail everyday!" Caboose declared. "So much that I could make a comedy sitcom based on it. Heck, I could make seven episodes on how I nearly obliterated YakYakistan. Bottom line, I drop the ball loads of time! But I still try! I never quit! I know it can be easy to get discouraged, but this is ridiculous! "
"This is different, Lieutenant." Fletcher retorted as he glanced out the nearby window. "It’s not the fact that I missed a shot when it count, nor would it be letting some petty criminal get away... one thing that every military force has in common, be they the Royal Guards or the Norhayan Armed Forces, is that their main objective above all else is to protect the innocent." He turned to Caboose, his eyes burning with shame, “Now tell me, Napoleon…if I was supposed to protect the innocents, but couldn’t prevent Gauntlet from getting hurt, what’s to say that I can’t protect my comrades in the heat of battle? Or the other innocent ponies? Or even the ones I love? If something happen to Dove…” He just sat back down in the desk’s chair, bringing a hoof to his face.
“Fletcher... please forgive me if this sounds insensitive...” Caboose frowned. “But so what?” Fletcher glanced up at him with a small glare. “You messed up only once. Nopony’s perfect, not even you and your slightly bigger dingus.”
“...Wait, what was that last part?” Fletcher raised a brow.
“The point is... that one little mistake doesn’t automatically make you the worst Guard in history of ponykind.” Caboose dodged the question, “Neither will any other mistakes you will make. Mistakes are what makes us ponies. But it is absolutely nothing to quit over.”
"Isn’t it though?" Fletcher asked. "I've never failed before. Not to that magnitude."
“And you think leaving will make it feel any better?” Caboose questioned.
"Well, I..." Fletcher frowned.
"Look, I'm not going to lie, you really know how to tick me off, and I don’t get ticked easily." Caboose declared, going up to Fletcher’s face. "But as much as I hate to admit it, you're a good Captain. No, a great captain. Sure, you're uptight, you're a stickler for the rules, your insistence that a bow is better than a crossbow is annoying, and your policy on on-the-job napping is a travesty. But in the end, you always meant well. For all your pompous stupidheadery, you always live up to the ways of the Guard, and your dedication to make sure we all did the same is admirable. And you know what? I respect you for that. And not only me. Your comrades respect you, the civilians respect you, the royals respect you, your fiancée respect you, and heck, my own daughter respect you. But what good is their respect if you are throwing it all away because of a mistake? Gauntlet got hurt, but he'll recover. He is the son of the guy who once fought off a whole pack of Diamond Dogs without getting a scratch on him.” But then, he stepped back. “But if you leave, the Royal Guard won't recover from losing a Captain like you."
Fletcher fell silent, pondering Caboose's words... before breaking into a smile.
"...Thank you, Lieutenant." He declared. "You know, in spite of you being somewhat dim, lacksadaisical, and chronically loose with the laws, you have a good heart. I forget sometimes that a Royal Guard requires compassion to serve others, even if they are sometimes criminals. Just look at you. You care enough to enough give me, the stallion who has given you nothing but a hard time since he got here, a pep talk."
"Aw, y'know..." Caboose said modestly.
"You know what…” Fletcher set his box of things down, “Perhaps I will stay. All the Ulysseses before me never said die, and I don’t intend on breaking that tradition.”
"Now that's what I like to hear." Caboose smiled.
"You know something, Lieutenant?" Fletcher smiled. "I really had you pegged wrong. And for that, I apologize."
"Eh, I've had worse treatment in my life." Caboose shrugged. "But to be fair, I am sorry too. I shouldn’t had been so gung-ho about hating you for being a guy who honors the rules and code of a Royal Guard or being a great soldier. Everypony else was right, you are a great stallion…"
"...Thank you, Lieutenant." Fletcher smiled. “The feeling’s likewise.”
"Well, guess I'd better get back to work." Caboose gave a small smile.
"And so must I." Fletcher smiled. "As you were, Lieutenant."
"I never thought I'd say this, but it's good to know you're here to stay,” Caboose chuckled.
A couple of days later, Caboose and Fletcher's family's gathered for another dinner, this time at Caboose's home. Gauntlet had joined them, having been invited by Hurricane (who had barely let him out of his sight after his injury). Since his leg was still wounded, she was helping him.
"Open wide." She offered a spoon of beans.
"Aah." Gauntlet opened his mouth for the food. "Mmm, good stuff. Thanks, Hurri."
"Anything for you, best coltfriend ever." Hurricane nuzzled him.
"We're so glad you guys finally worked things out." Daring declared.
"Yeah, and now we can enjoy a nice dinner together." Dove added.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Lieutenant." Fletcher apologised. "Especially concerning Hurricane. I had no idea she was... infatuated with me."
"You never do, when it comes to mares." Dove chuckled. "Remember that show of mine, a couple of months back? All those mares flocking you?"
"I thought they were just trying to get good seats." Fletcher shrugged.
"For somepony so smart, your fiancé can be a little oblivious sometimes." Daring joked. "But hey, it's not like I can talk?"
"How do you mean?" Caboose asked. "I don't get it."
"Could you please pass the okra, Lieutenant?" Fletcher asked curtly.
"With pleasure." Caboose nodded, passing the food over.
"Well, look at you two, actually getting along." Daring chuckled.
"Guess you two came to an understanding after all." Dove smiled.
"You could say that, my dear." Fletcher shrugged. "But I prefer to think of it as the two of us gaining a better perspective of each other."
"Whatever that means." Caboose chuckled.
"As long as it means we can all share dinner together, I'm not complaining." Daring grinned.
"Hear, hear." Dove nodded.
"Yeah!" Michael said through a mouthful of food.
"Guess we ought thank Celestia for putting us out there." Caboose admitted.
"Yes." Fletcher nodded. "I guess she knew what she was doing after all."
"She always does..." Caboose grinned. “Yet one can easily knock her out with a chair to the face.”
"Well, nopony's perfect." Fletcher smiled knowingly.
"And nopony needs to be." Caboose smiled. "It's the imperfections that make us interesting."
"In that case, you are the most interesting pony I've ever met." Fletcher grinned.
"Thanks... I think." Caboose chuckled.
'And with that, Caboose and Fletcher began to work together much better. While the way they do things were vastly different and would clash on occasions, they had finally developed a sense of mutual respect. It's quite inspiring really, how two very different ponies could finally put aside their differences. It could even be the beginning of a beautiful friendship...'