//------------------------------// // Wish me well // Story: Are We Human? // by dramatic_spoon //------------------------------// The truck continued down the bumpy, ill-paved road from the farm into town. Human Lyra glanced into the back seat: Rachael sat on one side of the back seat, Rhapsody on her lap. To their left, the terrified mare clung to her husband for dear life. Big Macintosh sighed. “…You doing alright back there, big guy?” Human Lyra chuckled. “I don’t think she’s too fond of these ‘Automobiles’ o’ yers.” Big Macintosh sighed. “I can see that,” Human Lyra stifled a chuckle. “Laugh all you want now, monkey.” Pony Lyra grumbled. “Your mom is weird,” Rachael scratched behind Rhapsody’s ears. “Eyup.” “Young lady, you do not insult your mother like that,” pony Lyra countered, “When we get back, you’re grounded.” “Aw, ma…” the filly whined. Before pony Lyra could respond, the truck hit a pothole. The sudden dip startled everyone, tightening pony Lyra’s grip on her husband. The stallion sputtered and glared at his human counterpart. “Sorry ‘bout that,” James apologized, trying to hide his smile. “Been buggin’ Mayor Mayer an’ Princess Sari ‘bout pavin’ them.” “We can open another branch of the college, but we just can’t find the funds to fix the stupid road…” Human Lyra muttered. “…He did it on purpose,” Pony Lyra muttered. “You min’ lettin’ go a bit so I can breath?” --- The truck came to a stop in front of a shop. Pony Lyra peeked out of the window, looking at her surroundings. “Rach, you stay here with them while we go in an’ talk t’ Mister Baker.” “Kay.” James and human Lyra exited the truck and entered the shop. A young man with a mess of brown hair looked up from behind the counter. “ ‘Ello Mr. Smith,” He grinned, “I don’t remember if we ‘ad anything for you in the shop.” “It’s alright Pip, we needa talk t’ Dave.” The young man, Pip, paused, “Boss is in the backroom, he’s busy with something.” “Tell’m it’s important.” “No, I mean he’s busy,” Pip jerked his thumb towards the room, “ ‘E’s in the backroom. Y’know th’ locked room I’m not supposed to know about.” “Tell’m it’s got to do with that,” James sighed. “…Bloody ’ell, don’t tell me you’ve got’m running around again,” Pip rubbed his forehead, “I ’ad enough of a time figurin’ out which one what tellin’ the truth ‘bout who I was suppose to end up with.” “Somethin’ like that.” “Well, I’ll let ’im know, but I don’t think ‘e’ll be happy.” Pip disappeared into a room behind the counter, leaving Lyra and James in the shop alone. “We do need a new clock for the kitchen,” Lyra noted. “…Can we talk ‘bout this after we take care’a this?” James sighed, “But we do.” “I’d like something abit warmer. A nice blue color, I think.” “…Long as it ain’t somethin’ tacky. None of that fork and spoon for clock hands or food items in place’a some numbers.” “No, that’s terrible.” Lyra agreed. James’ response was cut off as a door slammed open and shut in quick succession. A frazzled looking older man with graying brown hair stuck his head out of the doorway, glancing around. Noticing the Smiths, he sighed. “Please tell me Tabitha didn’t kidnap your daughter again.” “No Dave, it’s something different,” James sighed, “Lyra, go get them.” --- “…How does an old pony use a walker?” Rachael asked. “She holds it with her front hooves, an’ moves like that.” Big Macintosh mimed. “…Great-granny Anna’s stuck in a wheelchair now, ‘cause she hurt herself.” “Well, that’s what happens when folks get old.” The car door opened, cutting off Big Macintosh. Human Lyra motioned for the group to come out of the car. “Move quickly, I don’t want people to see you.” Human Lyra waved her hand, motioning for them to come out. Rachael hopped out first, still holding Rhapsody, followed by Big Macintosh and Lyra. The stallion glanced up at the shop sign before she herded them in. “Definitely looks like Turner’s place.” He noted. “Eeyup.” “Hurry, hurry,” Human Lyra pushed the two ponies into the shop, closing the door behind her. The two paused, looking around the room: identical to the shop on their home dimension, save that all the clocks were scaled up in size. Elsewhere the two could hear James speaking to someone. “…An’ that’s what happened.” James concluded. The two heard someone else sigh before speaking, “James, is there some sort of Smith family curse I’m not aware of? Because this is getting ridiculous.” Someone who sounded exactly the same as Time Turner grumbled. “You think I’m doin’ it on purpose?” “No, I’m not saying that, but I don’t think the other James Macintosh Smiths of the multiverse are having the same problem.” The speaker paused, “Well, maybe Paula and Manuel, but that’s not the point. Are they here?” “Eeyup.” Big Macintosh stepped towards the counter as Pony Lyra and Rachael followed him. David looked down at the three ponies and sighed. “…Do you realize what happened?” “I was hopin’ you’d tell me,” James grumbled. “Short version, there’s several different universal clusters. This universe is part of a cluster where everyone is a human. They,” David pointed at the ponies, “are part of one where everyone is an equine. There’s more where everyone is a brightly colored pastel person, Anthromorphic, robots, dogs, cats, manatees, you name it, it exist.” “Is there one where everyone’s a car?” Rachael asked. “…I’m not supposed to answer that, but yes, there is one like that Pixar movie.” David paused, “But that’s not the point, the point is that they’re not suppose to cross.” “Are we talking ‘don’t cross the streams’ cross, or ‘never the twain shall meet’ cross?” Human Lyra asked. “Second one. There’s all sorts of barriers and what not in place to prevent it from happening…” David paused, “How did you get here?” “Our daughter tried t’ teleport,” Big Macintosh replied, “we ended up in th’ Everfree, she ended up on th’ farm.” David paused, “…James I’m sorry, but it sounds bloody creepy to hear your voice coming from an oversized girl’s toy.” “Call me that again an’ I’ll buck you where th’ sun don’t shine.” Big Macintosh shot back. “Mac!” Pony Lyra jabbed him in the side, “Be nice.” “So can you send’m back?” James ignored the two. “…Probably.” The room grew silent as the two couples stared at the man. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Pony Lyra screamed, “PROBABLY?” Pip stuck his head out of the back room, startled by the outburst. “Everything alright bo…” he trailed off as he noticed the small brightly colored horses, “…Bloody Hell, Zi’s never going to believe this. Are those actually My Lovely horses?” “Pip, go back into the storeroom and count the clocks again,” David sighed, “And they are.” “…again?” Pip sighed as he walked off. “Mr…” Big Macintosh paused. “Smith-Lee.” “Smith, what makes you think that it’s only a ‘probable chance of returning us home?” the stallion continued on. “Because my technology was never meant to cross dimensional clusters,” David held up three fingers; his thumb, pinkie and pointer, “Think of it like this; our dimension is this one,” He wiggled his thumb, “And yours is this one,” he wiggled his pinkie for emphasis. “Crossing over is easy when they’re close, like these two,” David brought his thumb and pointer together, “but our dimensions are like this…” He emphasized his last point by bringing his thumb and pinkie together. “So it’s risky, but theoretically possible.” Big Macintosh summarized. “…Well, yes.” David admitted, “But risky.” “How long would it take you to try and do whatever you need t’ get your machine working?” “If I start now and let Pip help, about half an hour or so.” “…We’ll do it.” David turned towards the human, “…James, are you going to wait here or shall I just call you when I’m done?” “We can wait.” “…This is not how I wanted to spend my day, you know that.” He responded, grumbling, “The Lenore of Earth-1990 is still mad about the whole thing with Tabitha. I don’t see why she’s mad at me, it’s all her fault…” “…Can I go with them?” Rachael looked down at Rhapsody, “It’d be fun to see what a pony version of Aunty Sarah an’ all her friends look like.” “No!” David, James, Big Macintosh and the two Lyra yelled. “No more dimension traveling. Ever.” Human Lyra demanded. “Besides, she wouldn’t survive the trip,” David muttered. “…What?” “Dimensional biological barriers and what not,” David shrugged, “Ponies can make it here fine because we have equine species. If a human tried to go to their dimension, they would be forcefully converted into a pony.” “…That doesn’t sound very fun.” Human Lyra noted, “How do they survive that?” “As a rule, they don’t,” David shivered at the memory, “People don’t survive the process. I’ve seen the results. Anyway, let me get started.” David spun around and headed to the back room, “Pip! We have work to do.” --- The two families stared at the device in front of them: a massive portal door built out of huge slabs of metal. Despite its fantastical nature, the metal making up the portal was covered in rust spots, bolted-on plates, duct tape and other quick-fix and stop-gap measures to hold it together. David turned around as Pip continued to type away at a control panel. “Well, here it is,” David smiled, “It’s a bit rusty in some spots, but it’ll work.” “Mr. Smith, do you really expect us to use that?” Pony Lyra shook her head, “It looks like it’ll collapse if we walk through it.” “Our budget keeps getting cut,” David grumbled, “Those idiots at the capital pulling money out of our budget and sending it to who knows what. You’d think having the Princess of Friendship living here would help us, but no.” “…And…” Pip interrupted, “Here we go.” The room filled with a deafening hum as the machine whirled to life. Bright blue lights ignited around the door, and exploded outwards, creating a massive pulsing curtain of light. “…HAH!” Pip pumped his fist, “I told you it’d work!” “Shut up.” Big Macintosh looked up at James, “Well…I can’t say it was nice t’ see ya given th’ circumstances, but…” “…But it’s good t’ see we ain’t alone in this.” James chuckled. “Eeyup.” The two Lyras looked at each other. “…Well you aren’t all bad,” Pony Lyra muttered, “You’re me after all.” “I suppose.” Rachael stared down at Rhapsody. “Well…You’ll remember me, right?” Rachael asked. “Kinda hard to forget.” “…I’ll miss you.” “…Me too.” The two counterparts embraced in a hug before separating. The ponies trotted towards the portal pausing one last time as they looked back. “Please don’t mention this to Time Turner or Clockhooves or whatever my counterpart is,” David grumbled, “It’s bad enough as it is.” With a nod the three ponies walked into the light, and vanished. --- Dimension 1973 A brilliant flash of light erupted out of the Apple’s barn. A moment later the doors opened and the dazed family staggered out. “…We’re never going to talk about this again, are we?” Lyra asked. “Eeyup.” “…Am I in trouble?” Rhapsody asked, avoiding her parents’ eyes. “Well…” Big Macintosh glanced over at Lyra. “You are,” Lyra cut him off, “But we’ll talk about that later.” “…Awww.” Rhapsody pouted. Big Macintosh opened his mouth to say something, but someone cut him off. “MAC!” Applejack ran towards the family, “Where the hay’ve y’all been? I’ve been lookin’ for you for the last hour!” Lyra and Big Macintosh exchanged confused glances, “What?” “I asked Cheerilee an’ she said you all picked up Rhaps an hour ago,” Applejack explained, “But that ain’t important. Applebloom’s havin’ her baby. You gotta get to th’ hospital now!” Without another word, the four ponies took off for town. --- Another dimension The door opened, catching the corner of Lyra’s eye. James entered and gave his wife a peck on the cheek. “So you got it after all,” she mused. “Eeyup.” Rachael bounded into the house, running up to her mother. “Look what pa got me!” the excited little girl held up a brown and white corgi pup. “How cute,” Lyra smiled, “What are you going to name her?” Rachael pulled the dog back towards her and held it close to her chest, cradling it with both arms, “Rhapsody.”