Many ponies in Canterlot saw a strange yellow object of indiscernible traits floating in the distance, slowly getting closer. But the closer it got, the more surprised and disgusted the ponies became. The figure sitting upon the golden throne looked like a giant head with tiny arms and legs. It wore red goggles and armor matching the throne’s color.
The figure raised a hoof. “If you think I’ve evolved beyond the joys of pranking, you’d be wrong!”
The creature exploded into a rain of metal and gears, revealing the same colorful stallion as before, but draped in an armor made of a patchwork of metal and leather.
"Oh no...it's..." a stallion stuttered.
"I'z a Warboss Big ‘Un!” Psycho shouted. “TIME FEHR THEH PILLAGIN’!"
Everypony's eyes widened when they heard a noise become louder from afar. It was the sound of some weirdly deep, grumbling voices. The music heard from afar sounded like metal struck by large fists against a solid surface. The majority of the tunes came from blue creatures’ -Now rounding out from behind the hills- chanting in deep, guttural tones. They were all draped in the same kind of armor that Psycho wore and towered above him. Their bulky, monstrous figures hunched over and clenching hastily made clubs, swords, and axes created a terrifying sight. Their overbite and massive, lower teeth made their savage appearance worse. There were even gigantic machines of metal spewing black smoke with multiple cannons of random sizes jutting out of their hulls. When they all arrived at the top of the hills, they all shouted ‘CRUMP DA GUMPS!’ and stormed down the hills, creating a growing cloud of dust and smoke.
They continued to sing as the metal beasts fired on the town. Everypony scattered at the sight of these mal-constructed cannon-balls flying down and shelling the buildings and streets. Some of them exploded harmlessly, but others released colorful clouds creating an assortment of ailments, all thanks to Psycho’s concoctions.
Many of the blue beasts continued shouting as they tore through Canterlot. "Wee’re theh best ‘n we’ze theh crumpiest! All you’ehr gumps to be crumped! PUWANDESE ‘EHR THE BESTEST!"
“Smash ‘em good!” others shouted.
It didn’t take long for the royal guard to come and start fighting the puwandese while the pegasi came flying in to strike Psycho out of his seat. The stallion was still depressed, but he found solace in the illogical occurrences occurring all around. When he spouted the pegasi, it didn’t take long for him to respond.
"Splodey’ ‘Uns, fly up thehr 'n pluck those berds!" he commanded.
“Throw theh boom pads on theh flohr!” one shouted.
A large amount of flat , metal pads with the sides covered in red clay of sorts, landed on the ground in near shower. The puwandese who rushed towards it had their entire backsides covered in metal plating, each one cheering when they jumped upon the pads with their backs. This caught the guards by surprise.First there were multiple loud explosions, and then there were blue giants flying into the air to catch the pegasis or land on them and drag them down like metal spheres.
Some of the metal monstrosities were destroyed by beams of energy or implosion spells cast by unicorns, but these same ponies were generally blown away by some puwandese tossing ’sparkly balls’ that exploded, tossing any in the vicinity away and leaving a cloud of electrified smoke behind.
Seeing as Psycho was present, the heavily armored guards had to come out as well and perform their duty. As the puwandese came to 'stomp dem', the heavy guards slapped the blue giants away with their tridents and blasts of thunder. They were quite quick despite the weight of their golden armors. Some of the smaller green monstrosities quickly ran away. Of course, they disintegrated naturally once they left the limits of Canterlot.
"Boss, dere’s sem shiny ‘ehrd gumps over dehre," a puwandese cried as he pointed furiously at the approaching guards.
Psycho put a hoof to his chin and thought hard. "If yeh gots sem shiny ‘n ‘ard gumps, ya send in da bloks!"
"Now datz a plan!” the puwandese cheered.
"Send in theh bloks!" Psycho shouted.
"Da...Da bloks?!" a smaller blue monster stuttered with fear.
The same creature was quickly smacked aside immense puwandese wearing so much armor that was so thick that they looked like walking blocks of metal. These puwandese were intimidating to the ponies and had two claw-like weapons on their hands. The claws had yellow-electricity running along their surface, the energy crackling and snapping in the air. They crashed into the heavy guards, demonstrating their power and weight on ponies that weighed nearly a ton by pushing them along the ground inch-by-inch.
Psycho watched some of the puwandese place explosives full of his liquid creations, creating results like turning a building into chocolate, or a stallion into a mare and vice-versa. Although this was in small-quantity, and only lasted ten minutes. Gender bending was one of the 'limit' pranks that he had been experimenting with. Some statues placed next to a building for decoration or as part of a fountain would come to life and start dancing with whomever they could get their hooves on.
The Psychopath wasn't amused. He just huffed a sigh and moved away while his prank worked along its merry way.
"Oh no. It's happening again,” Celestia screeched.
Celestia retreated in horror to the sauna. She felt like she was back then. When Psycho had...
"Then we have to stop him!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
She tried to charge out of the room but was grabbed by Luna’s magic and dragged by to the floor.
"No. He has strange creatures that are catching pegasi and throwing them to the ground,” Luna explained. “We need a proper plan of action.”
Rainbow wiped off her wings. "Then what do we do?" she asked.
"We'll get him.” Cloud quietly whispered to his partner. ”Come on, Crimson,"
The two somehow moved about very quickly and quietly and were already out of the room before anypony could react. Celestia tried to warn them of Psycho's powers, but they were already too far. She rubbed her head anxiously, turning around to face those who remained.
"Okay.” She clapped her hooves together. “I'm not sure if it will work, but the elements of harmony are our best chance here. They are hidden in the same place that Psycho was locked up in, but located a level above there.” Celestia faced Twilight. “You should know where to go, Twilight. We never had them when he first became like this, so perhaps he'll be cured by their power,” Celestia thought aloud. “You need to hurry to the city. As for Pandora, my sister, and I, we will start to create a spell to take care of him if the elements fail to work," Celestia explained seriously.
"Are you sure? This looks like SOOOO much fun!" Pinkie chuckled.
"This isn't the time, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight scolded. “We need to hurry!" Twilight shouted furiously.
The pink pony rolled her eyes."Ugh. Fine."
"C’mon now.” Applejack gestured to everypony. “We just have to get ta--" Applejack was cut short as several guards came into the room. "Uhh, can we help ya?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow.
"Yes," a guard replied. "You can lie down and stay silent as we lock you down to the ground."
"What?!"
The guards reverted to their changeling forms and swarmed over the mane 6 and Pandora. Twilight and Pandora managed to blast several away before being blocked into a corner and held down by the swampy muck of Morvis: The changeling homeland.
“Do you like it?” one of the changelings asked. He tapped the hardened mud with a hoof. “The mud from our homeland turns into something akin to concrete when it’s not in Morvis or touching a changeling.” He leaned in next to Twilight. “We always carry some around. Just in-case.”
The two unicorns were attached to the wall, and their heads were locked against it by the neck and horn. The others couldn’t come to their aid because they were being held back by the changelings. There were too many to fight off. When Celestia and Luna were about to start their own attacks, Luna found herself flung against the wall and attached in a way similar to the two unicorns.
"Luna!" Celestia shouted. A voice cackled from behind the entrance, alerting Celestia to the perpetrator’s presence. "Show yourself!" she snapped with fury in her eyes.
"Tis’ I, Celestia.” Chrysalis swung around the door hinge. “It has been a while,” she mused. “Oh, you can’t imagine how happy I am, to finally get my revenge on...” she started breathing more heavily. “On you!” She pointed at Celestia. “The one who made everything impossible and nearly damned my people!” She regained her composure and looked towards Twilight. “After I make an example of you, I’ll torture Twilight Sparkle over there.” Her smile waned. “Maybe. I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” She glanced a look at the white alicorn. “What do you think if I do? Before I enslave her, I mean. Something classic like a thorny whip, or something more...more grandiose, like a new spell.”
Celestia channeled magic through her horn, causing it to glow and alerting the changelings to her intentions.
"Ah ah ah! Nooooo. You wouldn't want your sister nor your friends to start hurting, would you?" Chrysalis asked with a sad expression.
The queen ordered her changelings to start crushing their captors all of whom started to wince in pain. Celestia backed down, and lowered her head in shame.
"Fine,” Celestia begrudgingly agreed. “What do you want?"
"I want you to feel the same pain I felt after you cast me out. The same pain all MY subjects feel when they starve every day." Chrysalis bared her teeth and became furious, letting a miasma of green and black engulf and emanate from her horn.
Celestia found herself pinned to the ground by the changelings while Chrysalis let her miasma seep through the alicorn’s skin, a look of intrigue upon the queen’s face. The princess felt her insides shrivel and creak, the pain and feeling of starvation wracking and destroying her body. As Luna cried out for her, Celestia cried out in pain. These two voices echoed throughout the castle and eventually traveled out of the confines of brick and mortar.
Psycho was strolling along within the city while staring at the ground. He had removed his armor and decided to take a quick breather from all of his ‘pranking’, but he continued to wallow. Was he truly destined to have no friends anymore? Would no one appreciate him like the princesses did? Did anyone actually like him at all?
In the blink of an eye, the stallion found himself wrapped up in a lasso and kept still by Cloud holding a blade to his throat. They had caught their target after so many weeks of studying and blending in.
"Finally! We caught him!” Crimson laughed heartily. “My employer will be more than happy!" Crimson shouted proudly as she tightened the rope around her captive.
Said captive didn't seem to react at all. Cloud walked around Psycho, keeping a wing to his own chin. "Hmm. You will work for us, Psycho. Whether you want to or not." Cloud stated as he slowly approached The Psychopath's face.
"I don't care anymore," Psycho sighed.
The joy of finally catching their prey turned to confusion, and the two assassins looked at each other as though hoping that the other would have an answer to the response.They didn’t have a moment to ponder any further, as the crying voice of Celestia washed through the streets of Canterlot, perking up Psycho’s ears. While any normal pony would not have heard the voice being stretched to its limit and rendered nigh mute, these weren’t normal ponies. Even the puwandese jittered when Psycho reacted.
"NO! Leave Celestia alone you monster!" a voice cried.
"Hmmmm,” Cloud mused. He turned to Crimson. “Sounds like the princesses are in a pickle.” He scratched his chin. “Should we help?” The mare responded with a crooked glare, and the stallion laughed in response.
Crimson tried to hold onto the rope, but the more she pulled the further Psycho got, until her appeared next to the mare with the lasso in hoof.
“Here you go.” He place it around her body. “Like that you don’t lose it.”
The mare spun around in place like a string toy and landed on the ground with a painful thud. Cloud tried to grab him but found himself caught in a pink cloud of sparkling glitter.
“Sorry, but I need to go. We can play later.” The stallion gave pause. “Maybe.”
Cloud watched Psycho throw his hat down, climb into it, then pull it into itself to make it disappear. He punched the ground angrily.
“We had him and we lost him!” Crimson shouted angrily.
Princess Celestia was now little more than an emaciated shape of her former self. She groaned in pain upon the ground while Chrysalis moved slowly towards Luna, who was red in anger and fury.
"W-wait...you said that...you said that you wouldn't..." Celestia tried to speak, but her strength wouldn’t allow it.
"Wouldn't hurt the others?” Chrysalis gave a single laugh. “I never specified whm ‘others’ entailed."
A sudden dark atmosphere filled the room, and the changelings were being pulled into the tiles one by one without any warning.The air became hazy, and the ground and walls began to distort into a substance not unlike melted marshmallows, and the hardened muck holding onto Luna and the two other unicorns wiggled away like caterpillars. Chrysalis looked around to find the culprit and saw that Psycho was sitting on the ramp of a balcony that had been reversed and flipped inside of the room.
He was sitting on his flank, allowing him to hold himself up with his forelegs, letting him tilt gently forward and back. His smile, and the concentration his eyes had on the changeling queen, truly gave a shiver down everypony's spine.
"I never said you could hurt Tia-Tia and Woona,” he said with a calm tone. “That’s not nice. You lied.”
"And why shouldn’t I? They hurt ME and my--"
"I believe you should compensate the damages you did," Psycho said as he suddenly appeared on Chrysalis' head with his own resting on his forelegs.
Chrysalis scoffed. "What? You think you frighten me?"
"The World of Illogic loves fun, but when somepony does something it doesn't like,” Psycho crossed his arms. “That’s NO good!” A cartoonish glove appeared on his hoof, and it pointed to the queen, pushing her to the floor by her muzzle. “You hurt the two little fillies I'm supposed to be watching over.” He leaned over the queen, disturbing her. “Now you must pay for the consequences."
Psycho kicked something behind him, which smashed a huge amount of changelings against the sturdy ceiling. He kicked it again, and the changelings were tossed outside.
"What?!" Chrysalis looked at her changelings in shock. Shock which turned to rage. “How DARE you!” she challenged Psycho.
However, despite her lowering her head menacingly and forcing magic through her horn, the queen noticed that nothing was working, and that she was gradually shrinking. Psycho walked right next to her, creating a feeling of dread in the changeling. She felt like her whole body was being twisted and thrown against the walls with every painful ‘thump’ that occurred randomly. When the pain finally stopped, Chrysalis looked at her small hooves.
"How did you...what did you do to me?!" she yelled at the colorful stallion.
Chrysalis' voice had become higher pitched, and she noticed that her horn was no longer crooked, nor that her insectoid wings still existed. At least, not yet. Psycho bent over and showed her a piece of flexible black cloth, which seemed to reflect everything. Where he got it from, no pony knows.
Chrysalis was now a tiny filly, like when she first hatched. More than just a pupa. She was steaming angry, and yet she just looked like a tiny, angry black ball of tiny.
"Hmmmm..." Psycho tapped his chin multiple times. “That’s not enough. You don’t know what it’s like to be a small and defenseless filly yet.”
"B-b-but they aren't fillies! They are--"
"Kind of like my daughters. Yes.” Psycho nodded joyfully. “Now then."
Psycho was now wearing a baseball uniform and a cap. The white clothes with blue stripes apparently being his choice of color. He hoisted Chrysalis high into the air, then grabbed a bat with his other hoof.
"Wh-what are you doing? Release me!" Chrysalis commanded whilst struggling. Her stubby legs weren’t helping her at all.
"HOMERUN!” Psycho blurted out.
Once hit by the bat, an unseeable crowd cheered, and Chrysalis flew far off into the horizon, screaming the whole time. The remaining changelings flew away into random directions away from Canterlot. The colorful stallion quickly turned his attention towards the emaciated and rushed towards her. Seeing Luna’s desperate and teary expression at the state of her sister prompted Psycho to pull out a vial of night-blue liquid and pour it into the mare’s mouth. Celestia gradually fattened up and bolted upwards, confused.
“What...what was in that?” Luna asked.
Psycho’s eyes parted in two different directions, and his teeth became oversized. “EXTRA CONCENTRATED CAKE EXTRACT!” he shouted.
Celestia frowned, but Psycho rushed off, grabbing one of the small ‘pillars’ holding up the balcony railing. He held it up high in one hoof and yelled ‘To the next story!’
The other ponies backed away and readied themselves, but the look of Luna at the state of her beaten sister caused Psycho to take out a shiny-blue vial, and pour a bit of its contents onto the white alicorn, who immediately took back her colors and started to squirm again as she began waking up. The stallion ran back to the balcony and grabbed one of the mini-pillars of the ramp. Before anypony could say anything, he yelled once more.
"To the next story!" He gave pause and lowered his hoof slightly. "Wait...I already said that." He shrugged and raised his hoof again. "Oh well!"
The mini-pillar blasted off like a rocket, taking its very serious passenger who didn’t have a look of constipation on his face with it. As Psycho vanished, so too did the puwandese, leaving damages to Canterlot. Perhaps it wasn’t intentional for the city to become destroyed, but it happened nonetheless. Precautions would have to be taken for the future.
Disirva was embraced in the night, and Chief was waiting for an important call. Finally, blaring more loudly in the night than in the day, came a loud ringing.
“Yes?” he answered. “Do you have him?”
Crimson heaved a sigh. “No. It was...not. I await my punishment,” she consigned.
“Hey hey!” another voice came from behind the mare. “I don’t want to get hurt. That’s your thing!”
The chief sighed."No matter. It was inevitable that you fail. Do not fret, though. I have somepony else here that should be able to help you this time. He will arrive in Ponyville in one month."
"Understood,” Crimson replied.
Chief put his own device down and pressed his hooves together. He looked to his side towards a figure shrouded in shadows. "I trust that you will be able to deal with this character, Sociopath?" he asked.
Two bright green pupils appearing as two hollow equilateral triangles, glowed into existence within the darkest corner of the office.
The shrouded figure spoke in a low, gravely voice. "Yes. He will not be successful in fleeing this time. I will make sure of it,” he threatened.