//------------------------------//
// Desperation of Love 
// Story: My Strange Ponies 
// by CTVulpin 
//------------------------------//

I’m 70% sure I’m immortal, but I’m 100% sure I need food to keep operating.  The cafeteria’s always fully stocked and nopony really cares how much of anything you eat in a single sitting, but at the same time the pony in charge of the place can be real pain in the flank about custom orders or making things that aren’t explicitly on the day’s menu.  Sometimes, you have to take matters into your own hooves, and in my case that means giving ol’ Greasy Spat an impromptu naptime inside the pantry, adopting his look, and taking a crack at serving others their food while also mixing myself up that vanilla-blueberry milkshake I woke up craving.  I had all the ingredients together and when the cafeteria was empty I cleaned out the blender and started pouring in the milk.
“Good morning Skin.”  I froze up, and then face-hoofed when the speaker who had snuck up on me chuckled.  “Yep, I suspected that was you,” Dark Twilight said as I turned around sheepishly to face her, “What are you making there?”
“Milkshake,” I said simply, relaxing and going back to my work, “you want some?”  If I had to choose a favorite out of the Dark Six, it would probably be the one masquerading as Twilight Sparkle; she was the only one who never seemed to find fault in what I do during my free time.
“No thanks,” she answered as I loaded the blender with vanilla ice cream, fresh blueberries, and a small spoonful of vanilla extract and a squirt of blue food coloring for good measure, “I’ve got a question for you.”
“Greasy’s fine,” I said, letting my disguise wear off as I switched the blender on.
“That’s…” DTS started to say before the blender drowned her out.  She rolled her eyes and waited patiently until my drink reached the perfect consistency and I switched the blender off.  “I would hope he’s ok,” she said dryly, “but that’s not what I’m talking about.  What do you think of our newest prisoner, the Changeling Queen?”
“You want the honest answer or the professional one?” I asked before pouring the milkshake into a glass.  I met DTS’s quizzical raised-eyebrow look with my poker face as I balanced the shake on my head and trotted out from behind the counter and took a seat at a nearby table.
“I would hope the two are similar enough that I can trust you with this,” she said, placing a magic-inhibitor ring on the table in front of me, “and the assignment that goes with it.”


=======


Due to her predominately black coloring, I didn’t spot Queen Chrysalis until I came up to the bars of her cell and peered into the shadows near the back.  A glint of light off her pretty, and slightly holey, insectoid wings gave her away and I was soon able to make out the rest of her form, laying down with her back to the bars and legs curled in close to her body.  It was a pathetic sight, which made me all the more eager to do my duty.  I set the inhibitor ring, which I’d been carrying in my mouth, down on the ground and covered it with a hoof and then cleared my throat to announce my presence.  Chrys shifted slightly but didn’t acknowledge me.
“Good day your highness,” I said, bowing slightly even though she wasn’t looking at me, “How are you?”
“Is there no limit to your tortures?” she snapped, still not moving.
“Tortures?” I exclaimed, “What are you… has anyone been treating you poorly?  Withholding your rations?  Give me names and I’ll kick some flanks, or at least report them.”  Chrysalis surged to her perforated hooves and charged, stopping just short of the bars and fixing me with a glowing green death glare.
“Don’t you give me your false pity, Skin,” she growled, fangs glistening, “You, all of you half-formed and grotesque rejects of pony-kind that stalk these caverns, you treat this place like a fun park, as if we who are imprisoned should be happy that we will never see the light of day again!  Feeding off your false sincerity is barely keeping me sane.”
“If you hate it so much, why haven’t you tried to escape yet?” I asked.
“What would be the point?” she asked sarcastically, turning away from the bars, “You and yours have made it clear that if I tried I’d only end up captured and thrown back in here, without fail.  I’ve heard of your adventures in tracking down escapees in particular.”
“That so?” I asked, “Impressed?”  She simply snorted and started to walk back into the shadows.  “Look at it this way,” I said, “you’d at least get to see some new scenery.  Even if you can’t get past Cerberus, he’ll let you hang out near the gates until somepony comes to take you back.  The middle head really likes-”
“Shut UP!” she shrieked, clapping her hooves to her ears, “You just don’t understand!”
“Ok, this isn’t going like I expected,” I muttered, lifting my hoof off the inhibitor ring and kicking it into the cell.  Chrysalis looked down as it rolled to a stop near her and then gave me a questioning look.  “You’re the first prisoner of Tartarus in the last three millennia to not attempt at least one jailbreak within their first month of incarceration,” I said officiously, “In light of that, and for the sake of your continued sanity, the Powers That Be have granted you a slight reprieve, a chance at earning a release.”
“A release?” Chrys asked incredulously, “Freedom from this hell-hole?”
“If by ‘hell-hole’ you mean this particular cell, then yes,” I replied glibly, “You can earn the privilege of going to almost any part of Tartarus that you wish to, to stalk the halls alongside us reject ponies, get to know some of the other inmates better, and frankly do anything short of walking out the front gates without an escort.”
“Then what’s this?” she asked, tapping the inhibitor ring.
“A magic inhibitor,” I replied, “until you’ve proven yourself trustworthy, you’ll wear that on your horn whenever you’re outside your cell, so you can’t use your magic to pull something.  And you’ll have an escort for the first few weeks.”  I gave her a rakish smile as I said the last part.  Chrys met it with a puzzled tilt of her mouth as she took in my smoldering good looks and gave my offer a second thought.  I could tell the moment it finally hit her, because her puzzlement instantly shifted to charm, and she began to roll the ring back and forth under her hoof in a coy manner.
“Tell me though,” she said, “how ever do you expect me to put this on myself if it inhibits magic?”
“That… That’s a good point,” I said, slightly embarrassed, “Why not… Yeah, I should put it on you, shouldn’t I?”  This obsidian beauty was making my brain slow down something fierce just by being around her.
“Yes, “she said, her eyes taking on a wonderfully subtle glow, “Come on in and lend me a hoof, dear.”  Grinning like a fool, I made short work of undoing the lock and slid the door open.  “Very good,” she said approvingly as I took a step inside the cell, and then her horn flared green and I was blasted across the passageway and pinned to the opposite wall by a big wad of glowing green goo.  Chrysalis walked out of her cell, gave out a short laugh of triumph and galloped away.
“Hm, well played my dear,” I said, slightly woozy from the impact, “I’ll give you a… ten second head-start just to be... Uh…  Chrysalis?” I called out as she reached the nearest junction of passages and turned to the right, “That’s not the way to the…”  I trailed off as she vanished around a corner, and then started to pull myself free of the wall.  The green stuff stuck to me like glue, fighting every move I made to extract myself.  “Ok then,” I said, thinking, “A thirty second head start then.  She’s headed away from the Gates anyway.”
Through clever ingenuity, I managed to free myself from imprisonment single-hoofed and in record time.  If anypony, particularly the Bandersnatch, tells you otherwise they are piebald liars.  I collected the magic inhibitor ring from the cell and then began tracking down my responsibility.
Since the general alarm wasn’t raised and nopony I passed seemed aware that Chrysalis was loose, I can only assume she put her shapeshifting skills to good use, and that made my job a lot harder.  I ended up going in circles for a while until I realized that Chrys wasn’t making for the Gates, but for another cellblock.  Someone who had less sensitivity for her feelings than I did had probably told the Changeling Queen about those subjects of hers that had been captured and brought into Tartarus, and like any caring leader she was not about to make an escape attempt without them.  Sure enough, when I reached the cavern where the Changelings were locked up, I saw her standing before the first cell, crooning soothingly to the equine insectoids within.
“Look at you all,” she was saying as I approached quietly, “Poor babies, you’re barely getting enough positive emotional power to live, aren’t you?”  I paused for a second when I heard that.  The Changelings didn’t operate on normal food?  That was news to me.  “Don’t you worry though,” Chrysalis continued, oblivious to me as I crept closer, “I’ll get you out of here and then we can find someplace to feed on until we’re strong enough to take our revenge.  Just be strong until I figure out how to open these cages…”  I felt pity for Chrys and her Changelings, and deep down inside a part of me wanted to help them, just to prove how much I cared.  However, I had a duty to maintain the order in Tartarus, and since nopony knew I’d screwed up thus far, I could easily salvage the situation and worry about improving Chrysalis’s outlook on life later.  Gripping the inhibitor ring lightly in my teeth, I took a few more silent steps toward the tall alicorn-bug, and then pounced, landing on her back and sliding the ring onto her horn before she could react.  With a cry of disbelief, she reared back and threw me off, whirling about to face me as I got to my hooves.
“So,” I said, meeting her despairing and shocked look with nonchalance, “About that probation offer?”
She breathed heavy, hissing breaths through her clenched fangs for several seconds, and then blinked in surprise and lifted her head slightly as she took in my relaxed stance and encouraging smile.  “I suppose,” she said slowly, a cute glimmer coming to her eyes, “I was a bit hasty, wasn’t I?  I will submit to your conditions, so long as you are my escort, fair and merciful Skin.”
“Shucks, you’re too kind,” I said, blushing.