“Did the two of you have a nice walk?” Igneous asked as he pushed away his supper plate and looked over at Tarnished Teapot. “I only ask because usually, when two ponies courting one another come back from a long walk, they act happy. You’ve said nothing during dinner.”
“I have a lot on my mind,” Tarnish replied, being honest. He lifted up a single surviving kernel of corn on his plate with his telekinesis and then popped it into his mouth, leaving nothing behind. “Maud and I had a long talk, that’s all.”
“I wasn’t accusing you of anything.” Igneous’ face softened.
“Tarnish, you look kinda sad, what’s wrong?” Pinkie Pie asked as she approached the table with a pie balanced upon her snoot. With a well practiced gesture, she flicked her head, causing the pie to slide off of her nasal bridge and onto the table with a gentle landing that did nothing to disturb the pie.
“Maud helped me realise a few things about my magic, that’s all… and myself I guess. I just don’t know what to think… about… everything.” Tarnish eyed the pie, smelling both cinnamon and apples. He sniffed and discovered he was still a little hungry, even though dinner had been quite large.
“Tarnish, it’s hard finding your own way in life… let me tell you,” Pinkie Pie said in a soft voice that seemed out of place for her. She sat down beside Tarnish, placed a foreleg around his withers, and leaned over. “Not long after I got my cutie mark, I left home. I left this wonderful place behind.” Pinkie Pie gestured with her other hoof at the farmhouse all around her. “I left behind these ponies that I loved because I knew there was stuff I had to do. I went to Ponyville and I found a nice family that was willing to teach me how to bake and let me work as an apprentice. For you, life pulled you away from Ponyville and brought you here, to the Pie Family Rock Farm. Try not to worry too much about it, and just let life happen.”
“Thank you, Pinkie.” Tarnish discovered that he felt a little better. He gave a sideways glance to the pink pony beside him.
Pinkie Pie dropped her voice into a whisper. “You make Maud really happy… she’s beside herself right now… just look at her.”
Glancing over, Tarnished Teapot tried to see what Pinkie Pie was seeing. He wanted to see it. Maud looked like Maud. She was drinking a glass of water. Tarnish could see nothing and it began to bother him that Pinkie Pie could see what he could not.
Serving the pie, Cloudy Quartz began to place slices upon small dessert plates and then passing them around the table, giving her daughter Pinkie a sweet smile that was full of maternal pride.
“Oh… pie!” Pinkie Pie said, looking surprised when the plate of pie was placed in front of her. “I love pie.”
“I love pie too… I can’t wait to eat me some hot gooey pie,” Tarnish said.
Across the table, Limestone began to giggle and she covered her mouth with her hoof, tittering as she stared at Tarnish. Igneous coughed. Marble had a secretive smile that spread over her muzzle.
Stammering, Tarnish realised what had come out of his mouth. “Oh… oh… uh—”
“Tarnished Teapot, there is nothing that you can say right now to make this better,” Limestone said, cutting Tarnish off. “Having a last name like Pie can lead to all sorts of blunders. Better get used to laughing about it now.”
“I don’t get it,” Pinkie Pie said. “What’s so funny?” She looked around the table, oblivious to why Limestone and now her mother were laughing. “Pies were made to be eaten.”
With a snort, Limestone clamped her fetlock over her muzzle and tried to hold back the explosive laughter that erupted from her mouth. Igneous coughed once more and the corner of his mouth was twitching as his barrel began heaving. Cloudy Quartz looked at her daughter Pinkie, her mouth hanging agape. Marble suffered from heavy breathing and her eyes were wide. Maud blinked and stared at Pinkie, her expression unchanged.
Tarnish meanwhile, turned a darker shade of chocolate brown as his furious blush purplefied him. Unable to meet the gaze of anypony at the table, he stared down at the slice of pie in front of him.
“What?” Pinkie Pie said, looking very confused. “Pie is like the perfect meal. It can be eaten at any time of day, morning, noon, or night. It’s delicious when it’s hot and runny, or even when when it is cooled off.” Pinkie Pie paused, pondering, listening to the snorting of her sister Limestone. “Pie is so good that there are competitions to see which pony can eat the most pie and they just stick their face down in there and get all gooey and everypony has a really good time!” Pinkie Pie beamed as she spoke but was still confused about why everypony was acting funny. “As a cook, I like it when ponies get excited while they eat my pie—”
Igneous choked and began coughing. Cloudy smacked her husband on the back. Marble had her eyes closed and she struggled to breathe, the filly was almost wheezing. Limestone had gone crosseyed with laughter.
“Daddy, you okay?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“No, dear, I think your father needs some air… and maybe some quiet,” Cloudy replied as she shook her head. “Breathe Igneous, breathe… there you go, poor dear.”
Pinkie Pie, looking at each one of her family members in turn, tried to figure out what was causing them all to behave in such a strange fashion. After several long moments, her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth with her hoof. “Oh… ooooooh… you thought I was talking about cannibalism… eating other ponies is wrong. Especially family members. Eating a slice of Maud Pie would be icky!”
With a pained cry, Limestone fell out of her chair as she clutched her stomach, laughing and crying at the same time.
“Pinkamena Diane Pie… can… can we please change the subject?” Cloudy asked, struggling to contain herself. She had one hoof over her breastbone and the other was resting upon Igneous’ back.
“You’re right… eating other ponies is icky,” Pinkie replied. “I’m sorry I brought it up. What a misunderstanding…”