“But old chap,” Theanim Mane spoke in a low tone, leaning across the table inside the hazy tavern. “By siding with the Consortium, won't you be digging yourself into an even deeper hole?”
“There's gold in the bottom of that hole, Theams,” Echo wheezed, coughing a bit between smoke exhalations. “Then I've got a choice to make. Do I pay off the Rust Syndicate? Or the Southern Hoof? I dunno about you, but I'm thinking of making the local Boss here happy first and foremost.” He leaned back, taking another breath of the pipe. “Especially with his burning temper as of late.”
“Maybe you shouldn't be hiding in the shadows,” Theanim said. “The Boss here has a reputation to protect. If you stick to the surface, there's no way he'd afford to touch you.”
“Hah! Hah hah hauckkt—srnkkkt!” Echo spat, shuddered, and murmured, “Are you kidding? He's been as desperate and bored and pyromaniacal as ever.”
“I don't catch your drift,” Theanim remarked.
“Wait...” Rainbow's ears perked up. “Did you say 'pyromaniacal.'”
Twilight Sparkle leaned in. “Since when did you know what that word means?”
Rainbow whispered aside: “Lemme lecture you on goblins someday.”
“No doubt you've seen all of the burnt-out hovels across town,” Echo said.
“Yes.” Theanim nodded. “Word is that a group of unicorns were selling faulty mana-powered...”
Echo was already chuckling with high-pitched shrieks.
“... heating contraptions.” Theanim blinked. “What's so damnably funny?”
“You actually believe that guano?!” Echo's fangs showed. “I swear, Theams, you're the most gullible scientist in all the seas.”
“Are you saying that somepony's responsible for those fires?” Rainbow remarked.
“Arson?!” Twilight squeaked.
“That somepony is the Syndicate, Princess Fruit,” Echo droned. “They've made one too many risky investments, and they're in debt. It's why the Southern Hoof sent me here to begin with—so I could find a way to grab some much-requested bits from underneath their noses.” He glanced over both shoulders, then leaned in to continue: “Word on the street is that they're taking it out on former employees and their families, claiming that the ponies owe them for decades of 'protection.' And when these citizens refuse to pay up, they hire a bunch of unicorns to napalm their apartments, but not without first buglarizing their fortunes from within and repossessing the goods for black market sales.”
“Sweet Celestia,” Rarity stammered. “That's horrible.”
Rainbow waved her off with a hoof, eyes locked on Echo's. “If there's so much word on the street about these guys being flankholes, why doesn't the general populace of Rust—I dunno—rise up and stop them?”
“I can tell you've only been here for a day,” Echo muttered, sniffling. “The scent of sea salt is practically a second sweat on you right now.” He leaned back, flicking his pipe. “Nnnngh... in power or in debt... liberators or murderers... the Syndicate is still the life blood of Rust. If the ponies here took down the Boss and all his cronies, they'll be ruining trade for centuries. One might as well sink the whole damn platform and be done with it.”
“But you didn't hesitate to try sabotaging them,” Theanim said.
“Cuz I had no damn intention of staying here.” Echo puffed on the pipe, then grunted, “And if this Consortium contact follows through with his promise, then I'll pay my way clean and get off this fish-reeking turd.”
“Well, he seems to be taking his sweet time in showing up, old chap.”
“Or maybe he sees me talking with a pair of perfect strangers and he thinks the deal is off!” Echo frowned. He hissed, “You always know just when and where to come in and ruin things, 'Doctor' Mane.”
Theanim was about to angrily retort—
Rainbow silenced him with a raised hoof. “Perhaps the fact that we've shown up is a blessing in disguise, bat-buddy.”
“Heh... but of course...” Echo stifled a yawn, adjusting his cloak's hood. “Next thing I know, you'll be telling me ghosts are real.”
Twilight and Rarity... and Theanim squirmed.
“No, for realsies,” Rainbow said. “Pretend you meet up with your Consortium bro. He gets you out of your hole with the Rust Syndicate. Alright, so you've fixed things for now, made yourself straight with this place. But what then?” She shrugged. “You'll still be owing two separate groups of ponies! Only instead of the North and South Hooves...” She gestured out the tavern entrance. “You'll be owing these other jerks west of Colonialist islands!”
“What are you even getting at, birdy?”
“Rather than ride a dirty deal out of this town to put yourself right with one group, how about making no deal whatsoever, then head south to Shoggoth to put yourself square with them?”
“Hah...” Echo smiled sickly. “And just how am I going to clean myself up with the Shoggoth Syndicate?”
“We'll find a way,” Rainbow said.
“Who's 'we?'”
Rainbow leaned back and placed a hoof on Theanim's shoulder. “You're looking at 'em!” Her smile was short-lived, and she glanced nervously at Twilight and Rarity. “Well... half of 'em.”
“So... instead of making a deal with a western black marketeer whom I know for a fact has the means of cleaning my debt with the Boss here...” Echo's slitted eyes narrowed. “...you're suggesting I make a deal with you two... a pair of morons who obviously don't know how to deal with the local principalities and powers in the first place?”
“Sure, you might be flying by the seat of your saddle, but I promise you that you won't owe us in the end,” Rainbow said. “Not so long as you just get us into Shoggoth to begin with.”
“Mrmmmff...”
“Hey! It's a risk for all of us, buddy!”Rainbow smirked. “But this way you won't be on the run while owing two shady organizations.”
“Right. I'll just be owing Rust.”
Rainbow shrugged. “From the sound of things, they're not all that nice to their former employees as it is. So buck 'em.”
“Hmmmf...” Echo exhaled a green column of smoke. “I must admit, there's a certain degree of... tempting catharsis to the notion.”
“But I wouldn't blame you for being hesitant, old chap,” Theanim droned.
“Dude!” Rainbow frowned at him. “You're supposed to be on my side here!”
“And I want to be. Truly I do, Miss Dash.” Theanim squinted in her direction. “But Echo here has a legitimate reason to be dubious. Just what influence do we possess? Here or in Shoggoth?”
“Well, you're a scientist of the Order and I'm a flank-kicking wonder!”
“Brutality, the Southern Hoof may be capable of understanding,” Theanim said. “But they don't respect the Order as much as we'd like them to. In fact, they don't respect much of anything except bits.” He sighed, staring off across the tavern. “There was a time when the rules were different. But these... these arson fires? That's an unprecedented level of maliciousness. I'd never thought that law-abiding ponies would ever resort to such tactics. If... only I had some proof of their wrongdoings, then maybe I could provide it to the Queen's Council and they might intercede on these local citizens' behalf.”
“You think that doing that would pressure the Syndicate's Boss into relieving your buddy here of his debt?”
“If you're thinking of extorting the Syndicate, then you can just as well prepare for your own burial at sea,” Echo said. “And even if it did work, I'd still be in too much hot water to get your flanks to Shoggoth... for mine would be crucified the very moment I arrived at those brass transport docks.”
“Okay... then maybe we should think about this more concretely,” Rainbow said, thinking aloud. “Sonic—”
“Echo.”
“Right. You said that you dropped a whole flippin' batch of bits into the waters here. What are the odds that stuff is still there for us to grab?”
“Pfft... are you kidding?” Echo looked at Theanim while pointing at her. “She's kidding, right?”
“Knowing her, I'm afraid not, old chap.”
“It's fricking impossible.”
“Not everything's impossible, dude,” Rainbow said. She leaned closer towards Rarity. “Let's just say... I'm somewhat adept at metal detecting.”
“No. I mean... literally... it's impossible.” Echo raised an eyebrow. “A platform town this dependent on bits? All gold that gets dropped into the depths are dredged immediately.”
“For real?”
“There are entire companies whose sole functions are to snorkel through the canals and grab fortunes up, toots,” Echo said. “Truth is, those bits have been grabbed months and months ago.” He sighed, chewing on the end of his pipe. “I know I've been screwed for a long... long time...”
“Okay... okay...” Rainbow brushed her bangs back and brushed them again. “How about... about...” She brightened. “The photographs!” She looked at Theanim. “Your pics of Verlaxion's shards and the metal world beneath it!”
“Uhhhhh...” Echo blinked. “...wat.”
“If we could use those to... to convince the Syndicate's Boss that I'm—like—an avatar of Verlaxion or something—”
“Quit while you're ahead, Miss Dash,” Theanim said, sighing. “Even if you could coerce the citizens of Rust with even a fraction of the ease with which you've influenced the Nealenders...” He frowned. “You know quite well that I wouldn't condone it.”
“But these guys are morons!”
“Morons with no respect for the Queen. I suppose one could label them as morons squared.”
“Wait... Nealenders?” Echo leaned in. “Theams, just what in the frosted hells have you been up to?”
“One moment, old friend,” Theanim grumbled. “We're trying to figure things out here.”
“You're trying to shit your way up through the mouth of idiocy, from the looks of it!” Echo wrapped his cloak around him. “That's it. I'm out of here. I didn't need you guys interrupting my smoke session anyways.”
“Will you friggin' sit down?!” Rainbow snarled. “We'll... I'll come up with something! Trust me!”
“Lady, I don't even like you,” Echo said with a frown. “I don't like your fruity hair. I don't like your cracking voice. And I sure as Hell don't like your pea-brained optimism.”
“Pffft...” Rainbow shrugged. “You looked in the mirror lately, bud?”
“Not that it matters,” Echo droned. “Sarosians cast no reflection.”
“... ... ...” Rainbow blinked. “Wow, really?”
“No.” Echo looked at Theanim while gesturing wildly at the mare. “See what I mean?! You've been hijacked by a complete idiot!”
“Hey!” Rainbow frowned.
“Unnngh...” Twilight face-hoofed while she hovered limply. “Rainbow...”
“Okay, everypony...” Theanim raised both forelimbs. “Let's just... calm down and start things over, shall we?”
“It's a complete waste of my time, Theams.”
“And just when else will you be sitting with the closest things you have to legitimate friends?” Theanim cocked his head aside. “Hmmm?”
“... ... ...” Echo plopped back into his seat. “Touche. Ramble away.” He lit his pipe again. “But I'm gonna need some more coral for this...”
From the far corner, the pegasus in a black stetson scratched his scruffy chin for the umpteenth time. “Hmmmm...” He smirked, his eyes locked on the table with the three arguing equines. “And just what do you suppose they're scratching his leafy ears about, Dubya-Cee?”
The griffon beside him swept the air with half-metal talons.
“Hmmm... what a cryin' shame,” the pegasus replied. “It bothers me somethin' awful when a lone soul's only friends are regular doughpushers. Ah well...” He glanced over his shoulder. “Perhaps we'll be doin' a kind favor in the end?”
The griffon's mouth muscles twisted awkwardly around his beak.
“Eh... yer right.” He tilted his hat forward and adjusted the weight of his guitar case. “We're the same ol' bastards, as always. Whelp... let's at least be classy about it, ya reckon?”
The griffon nodded, black goggles glinting.
“You know the drill.” He shuffled out from the corner, mounting a stage that faced the broad end of the tavern. “Just try'n'contain yer excitement, partner. No need in you talkin' over me like usual. Ahem.”
The stallion let loose a loud, shrill whistle. Every inebriated skull in the place turned towards the stage.
“Howdy, y'all!” The pegasus waved, smiling wide. “From the gold shiny heart of Rust's Dust District, we wanna thank ya kindly for comin' to this here drinkin' hole for yer regular mid-afternoon drip. Eheh... 'Bout time somepony made it worth yer while.” He tilted his hat. “The name's Bard.” He pointed at his griffon friend. “This here's Wildcard.” He smirked. “No relation. Ahem.”
Finally, Bard unzipped a guitar from his case and held it in a pair of agile wingfeathers. At that same time, Wildcard reached into his satchel and pulled loose a harmonica in his metal talon.
“And we Desperadoes are tonight's entertainment!”