//------------------------------//
// Chapter 7: Spill It (revised) 
// Story: The Binding Contract 
// by Mani-Roar 
//------------------------------//

This was it. This was the big day. The day that my manuscript was to be judged for the Young Fiction Writers of Equestria Competition. The princess herself was presiding over this event and I couldn’t have been more thrilled and excited.

So why was I unable to leave the dressing room?

I was terrified. I just stood there staring at myself in the mirror like a middle school filly about to go on her first date. I kept waiting for my anxiety to die down; taking deep breaths to calm myself. But it just wouldn’t go away. What was wrong with me? I was stronger than this. I’d stood before crowds of thousands and given talks before. I’d never been ashamed or too embarrassed to do anything. Why did I have such a huge mental block at that moment? Especially on this day of all days. I had to be strong if I wanted to win that stupid competition. 

Why does it have to be a competition anyway? Why does art have to compete with itself? Can't we just display talent for what it is and leave it at that? 

I thought to myself. I quickly realized that I sounded like somepony who had already lost. This was what losers said to make themselves feel better. My part was already over. The words were written and I just had to submit the finished work. Maybe that's why I was so scared. I couldn't do anymore. It was out of my hooves and that was terrifying to me. I felt like as soon as I turned it in, I'd think of 50 things that were wrong and have a panic attack. But Night Light was thorough with his analysis. He thought of things I hadn't even considered and made me revise and polish so many times. He was somehow even more of a perfectionist than I was. Even if the work was not perfect, it was absolutely in the best shape it could possibly be in. I had nothing to worry about.

But if that was the case... why was I staring at myself in the mirror terrified like this?

Night Light, I wondered if he was worried about today? 

Who cares... who cares what he thinks about anything? That freakin' jerk is nothing but a greedy opportunist. I don't care if I ever see him again. Two days ago he... we... maybe if we could go back in time and I hadn't... forget him. I am strong, I am capable of doing this without him...

My mind was wandering and going back and forth. I knew that I could do this on my own, but at some point I was going to have to leave this dressing room.


****


Two days earlier

As soon as Third Watch was halfway down the hallway, I closed the door behind him. It really was nice seeing him again. I often wondered how he was doing these days. I probably would have contacted him sooner  but... well I was just so afraid that we had burned too many bridges with each other. 

I looked down at the heaping flop of a blue stallion that was Night Light. His face was smushed into the floor.

"You comfy on the floor, buddy?"

"In my current state, I believe that I would find any location where I could remain motionless to be adequate." He let out a weak groan.

"Great, well let me know if you start feeling sick because I don't want..." 

Before I could finish, Night Light's body convulsed and he vomited a huge nasty pile on my dorm room floor.

"Ah damn it! Get to the bathroom, quick!" I gently kicked his lower back with my hooves.

"That is not necessary, I believe the immediate need to vomit has pass...bleaugh..." He jerked forward and made a new pile on the floor.

"Like hell it's passed!" I wrapped my hooves around his awkwardly sprawled body and started dragging him towards my bathroom.

"Come on, puke boy, we've got to get you over a toilet." 

This was perfect. I was still half drunk myself and now I was supposed to babysit Night Lightweight here?

"Yes, I believe we should. I am very sorry about your floor." He feebly tried to help me drag him by kicking his back hooves. 

"Yeah you're sorry! You're going to be scrubbing every last bit of puke off of my floor, do you understand me, buster?" His butt hit the ground with a thump as we crossed the threshold to my tile bathroom floor.

"A fair exchange, no doubt... oh Celestia... I..." 

I acted as quickly as I could; dragging him to the toilet.

"In there, in there!" I held his face over the bowl just as a new wave started coming up. It was revolting and I was beginning to smell it now. If he kept this up much longer, I was going to need the toilet too.

"Easy there, buddy. Just hold onto the seat and let it out." I was literally holding his hair for him. It was just long enough that I was afraid it might fall in front of his mouth.

"The contractions in my abdomen... are so painful..." He fired off another volley.

"I know, I know sweetheart. Just let it happen and bear through the stomach pain. You'll feel a lot better when it's done." 

He breathed heavily and moaned a little bit. 

"In the name of Celestia's infinite wisdom, how will I know when it is completely done?" He started to heave but then stopped.

"Well, that's the tricky part. We'll just need to sit here a few minutes and make sure." I sighed deeply. A little too deeply as I caught a taste of the foul air by doing so.

"Thank you, Twilight." He stuck his head almost entirely into the bowl.

"Yeah, don't mention it." I looked away, trying to avoid the stench.

"No, please do not take my gratitude lightly. I mean it with every fiber of my being. You are a true friend." He heaved again and let out a small amount. Even the sound was revolting to me now. 

"Thanks, but I was being literal, you see. Don't ever bring it up again. I don't wanna remember that this happened." I pulled his head back a little by his hair. If he had dipped any lower, his nose would have been in... it.

"You do not understand, Twilight. I've never had a friend like you before. I have always felt so distant from everypony. I never seem to be able to make any real connections with my fellow colts and mares. The only relationships I have ever truly known are from books. I feel closer to Star Swirl and Coltpernicus than anypony I encounter. But with you I can just open up and be myself. I do not have to follow any rules of social interaction or make myself uncomfortable to please you, like I do with others." 

I wasn't sure what to say to all this, so I just let him ramble. I didn't realize how insecure Night Light truly was on the inside until then. I gotta say, the dude hid it pretty well.

"Twilight, this may sound... unusual but I cannot think of another way to put this..." 

I cocked my eyebrow but remained silent. A habit that I'm pretty sure I picked up from him.

"I feel as close to you as I do to Star Swirl the Bearded." 

I couldn't hold it in. I let go of him and just burst out laughing. I wasn't meaning to make fun of him. I just wasn't ready for that comment and couldn't stop myself from reacting.

"I suppose that is quite... stupid..." Night Light drooped his head down toward the toilet bowl.

"No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... he, he... I really shouldn't be laughing. I just... I..."

"It is alright. I realize how pathetic I am. My only kinship is with book authors, most of whom are dead. By societal standards, I suppose that makes me a... loser." 

I rolled my eyes until it caused my eyelids to blink. Another involuntary action, I suppose.

"Oh Celestia, shut up with the pity party. You just need more friends, real friends." 

Night Light sighed and rested his head on the toilet seat. 

"Believe me, if anypony can understand the emotional connection that a reader has to a favorite writer, it's me. When you read their works and truly study them for long enough, you feel as if you know them on a personal and spiritual level. But let me ask you this. Is Star Swirl gonna jump out of the page and talk to you? Is Coltpernicus gonna cheer you up when you're feeling depressed and let you know how great of a guy you are? Are either of them gonna hold your hair for you while you vomit profusely into their toilet?" I ran my hoof through his mane and gave him a little pat.

"No, obviously none of those things are possible for them to do." He smirked a little but turned his head to try and hide it.

"Exactly, that's what you have me for... although, please don't make a habit of vomiting in my room." I took a seat on the ground next to him.

"Look, life is hard enough even with friends to help you along. No one should ever have to go through life alone." Night Light lifted his head and looked over at me.

"Yes, being alone does seem to put a pony at a severe disadvantage. I am glad that I have a mare like you that I can depend on." 

I couldn't help but snicker at him.

"Well aren't you just the sweetest thing?" I stood up.

"Now flush the damn toilet, it smells awful in here. And rinse you mouth out in the sink. You don't wanna fall asleep with that taste in your mouth." 

I walked out of the bathroom and over to my bed. I collapsed onto the pillows and buried my face. I felt like I could fall asleep in an instant. The contest was two days away and I needed to get some rest so that I could get the final touches done and print my manuscript for submission. I heard the toilet flush and the sink run for a bit. At least he was sobering back up enough to move around by himself. The last thing I needed was to have to call an ambulance due to alcohol poisoning. Holy Celestia, how horrible would I feel if I took him out drinking and he died from that? Or if he had to be treated and then got expelled for drinking underage. Heck, he was in my room, I'd have probably been expelled right with him. I guess we could've gotten fast food jobs and moved in together. Right after our respective parents disowned us for being such delinquent failures.

"Twilight?" Night Light's gentle voice peered from my bathroom.

"What's up?" I kept my face buried as I spoke. 

"Well, it's just that... you see..." 

Did he forget how to talk or something?

"Jeez dude, just say it already... actually don't, just get some rest. I'm too tired to hold a conversation anymore. We'll take care of the vomit piles in the morning."

"Well, that is the issue. You see, I do not find the floor to be very comfortable and I was hoping we could... well... share your bed space." 

I groaned loudly.

"I understand. I will make due with the floor. You have accommodated me well enough as it is." He walked over by where he had collapsed previously. I turned to look at him and sighed.

"Come on up here buddy. No hogging the covers." I moved the comforter aside so he could settle in easier.

"But I swear on Celestia's best kicking leg that if you try to make a move on me, I will buck you in the groin and send you flying through the wall." 

Night Light moved to the bed. His face looked so relieved. I guess he really did hate the floor that much. 

"I promise that I will do no such thing. I am not in a particular mood for romance as it is." He climbed into the bed and pulled the comforter over us. 

Wait a minute? Does that mean that if he was in a romantic mood he would try something?

Such a distinction seemed critical to me.

"Good night, Twilight." He yawned and turned over to his side, facing away from me.

"Good night, Night Light." I copied his yawn and closed my eyes. However, I wasn't quite able to fall asleep anymore. Something about what he said before, the part about having no friends, was bothering me. I wanted to ask him for more details but he was probably already half asleep and completely incoherent. At least, that's what I thought. 

My eyes darted open when I heard a weird breathing sound. At first, I panicked a little because I wasn't sure what it was or if it was an intruder. I quickly realized that it was the sound of Night Light crying. 

Welp, guess I'm not getting any sleep tonight after all.

I wanted to be irritated at Night Light for making me take care of him so much already and for making me have to deal with him crying. However, hearing him sob only filled me with sadness. It wasn't the type of sobbing that a spoiled kid does when they complain about their rich kid problem. This was the deep sounding sob of somepony who was trying very hard not to cry and failing. He cried like somepony who has felt true despair in their life and couldn't stop the intense sadness from culminating in this one moment.

Or maybe he was just drunk and weepy, what did I know?

"Night Light, are you ok? Do you need to head back to the toilet?" I figured I'd give the guy an out in case he didn't want to admit he was crying and save face or something.

"I am sorry Twilight. It is nothing. I do not know why I am having such an emotional reaction." He made sure to keep himself faced away from me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" If somepony had told me last week that I would be asking Night Light if he wanted to "talk about it" while crying in my bed, I would not have believed them. I would have thought it would be more likely for Equestria to be ruled by four alicorn princesses at the same time. 

"No, no thank you. I will burden you no further with my troubles." 

I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's your call dude, sweet dreams." Before I could even roll back over, he started rambling.

"By the time I was seven years old, my father had conditioned me to be entirely self sufficient. With a weekly stipend, I was expected to feed and take care of myself so that he didn’t have to take time away from his research to look after me. I was expected to make and meet regular appointments with a tutor and otherwise educate myself in own time. He refused to send me to any public or private school for fear that they would be too lenient and I would get complacent and lazy. We neither shared meals nor the same roof together as he preferred to live where his research was. The only times I saw him was so that he could test me to see if I was still good enough to call myself his son. 

"Sometimes it would be calculus or physics; other times history or psychology. One time, he challenged me to a fencing match. When I lost miserably, he told me I was too fat and lazy. That I needed to apply my body as well as my mind. I started applying physical education to my already packed schedule. A schedule that I alone have been the steward of and have kept to this day. I do not recall meeting any of my peers until I started attending Celestia's school freshman year."

Woah, life story alert. Although, I had to admit, that didn't sound like a fun childhood.

"Wow, so your dad just left you to your own devices? What about your mom, was she not around?" I turned back to face him. He was still looking away towards the door.

"I have never met my mother. My father refuses to explain the nature of her absence."

Ok, now I was pissed. Not at Night Light, but for him.

"Are you kidding me? That's not fair! Your mom could be dead or thousands of miles away. You have a right to know who she was or where she is." 

Night Light remained still as I fidgeted around. 

"Perhaps my father feels that the sorrow of the truth about my mother is too great of a burden for me to bear."

"It doesn't matter. He can't just keep that from you forever, no matter how sad it is. You deserve at least some kind of closure. Especially since he's too busy being selfish with his own life to even love or care about you at all." I crossed my hooves and made a pouty face. It's what I did sometimes when I got frustrated. 

"I know that my father loves me." Night Light's tone was cold and flat. Crap, maybe I overstepped a little bit. You can't just say that somepony's father doesn't love them. What was I thinking?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." 

Night Light rolled to face upward and stared at the ceiling.

"No, it is quite alright. I know my relationship with my father may seem strange to some ponies. However, it is not for lack of love that I begrudge my father. I just..." He shook his head. This must have been the only thing in the universe that Night Light and his wealth of knowledge was unable to describe.

"I feel selfish for feeling it, for even thinking it, but I wish my father... respected me. I wish he respected me enough to make time for me. I know I shouldn't feel that way. His research is important, I cannot think only of myself and my needs. I feel weak, because I think that he sees me as weak." Night Light closed his eyes but I knew he wasn't going to sleep.

"That's not selfish at all. It's selfish to leave your poor child to fend for himself. Especially when they've lost their mother... or... you know... she's not around." 

Well that was smooth. Way to salt open wounds, Twilight. 

"I just wish I could bear my shame a little better. Or at least find other ponies to rely on to make me feel... better when I feel this way. But I am so terrible at forming lasting bonds with anypony. I simply do not know how." 

I rested one hoof on his shoulder and he opened his eyes.

"I don't know about that. I think you've made at least one." I couldn't help but smile at him. No pony should ever feel as alone as he did. The least I could do was be his friend. I started thinking I might make a good counselor... until he started crying again.

"Oh no, Night Light, what's wrong now?" 

Since when is he so fragile that he just bursts out crying all the time?

"Forgive me, Twilight. I do not intend to express sadness. Your confession just now made me so happy, yet I responded with tears for some unknown reason." 

This kid was like something out of a book. Although, with the way he said his father was, I was starting to see why he was so out of touch with his own feelings.

"It's fine, let out as much crying as you want. I won't mind." I gently squeezed his shoulder with my hoof.

"Thank you, Twilight. You are literally the greatest thing that has ever happen to me in my life." 

I scoffed a bit when he said that.

"Literally? I mean, I'm pretty great, but I can't be the best part of your entire life. We just started hanging out recently." 

Night Light grabbed my hoof and looked directly into my eyes. His intense stare put chills down my spine.

"Twilight, allow me to ask you something and consider the answer carefully. Do you think I am the type of pony who would use the word 'literally' incorrectly?" 

I blushed as he held my hoof in his firm grasp. His stern gaze made me turn away.

"No, no you are not." My heart started racing. Just knowing how much of an impact I had made on Night Light made me feel so much closer to him.

"Twilight, I..." Now he was blushing and turning away. What were we, a couple of grade school kids? We couldn't even express our feelings to each other without blowing up red with embarrassment? 

Wait... do I have feelings for Night Light? I mean, we kissed, but that was just drunken passion and instinct. Was this really something else? I questioned myself. 

"What is it Night Light? You can say it, it's ok." If he had grabbed and thrown me to the bed right then, I would have gone with it. Maybe I was still drunk.

"This is very difficult for me to express..." 

Oh come on! I yelled in my head. 

What was he doing? Where was the “Twilight Velvet do you love me?” Night Light who would say anything without a second thought?

“Just spit it out already. What are you feeling? What are your innermost desires right now?” I leaned over him, close to his face.

“Will you hold me?” 

I paused for a few moments, completely caught off guard.

“I’m sorry, Night Light, what did you say?”

He sat up, forcing me to sit up as well since I had been leaning over him.

“Will you hold me in your hooves and tell me that you… care about me?” Night Light stared down at the bedsheets. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? Was he really that insecure? 

“Night Light, if I’m picking up the context correctly, you have never been… held in your life? Even as a baby?” 

He looked at me with a face of stern regret. His eyes were weak and looked fatigued from crying.

“Coddling is for the weak…” 

Those were obviously his father’s words. My hoof reached out to him, almost unconsciously. I gave him a quick rub on his back. He slid back down into a laying position. I laid down next to him and put my hooves around him. I locked my hooves in his and pressed my body against his back. I heard him sigh as I felt all of the tension release from his body as his muscles relaxed.

“Thank you, Twilight. I appreciate your indulgence.” 

I sighed as well. I had to admit, I didn't have any words for this one. But I guess sometimes words are unnecessary. Especially for two ponies who spent most of their lives over explaining and analysing things with words.

“It’s no trouble at all, buster. And I do care about you. Believe me, if I didn’t, I certainly wouldn’t be indulging you.” I closed my eyes. Maybe I could squeeze a little sleep out of this deal after all. 

“How long may we do this for?” Night Light was warm and content in my hooves. 

“Oh I dunno. I guess until we’re sober or the sun comes up. Whatever comes first.” I briefly freed my arm to pull the covers back over us.

“That sounds… acceptable.” 

At least he and I agreed on something. I held onto the poor, geeky, slightly annoying, yet somehow adorably charming Night Light until I fell asleep.


****