Dog Days

by Rare Twinkie

1-Well, Dog My Cats

"Get your filthy paws off me!"

"Not until I teach you to not insult me again, you good-for-nothin' coward!"

It was a fairly normal day at Peter's Perfect Packaging Store.

The employees on their afternoon shift all perked up at this noise, but just barely.

"Should we go see what's going on?" a red-haired man asked.

At the sound of a yelp of pain and a loud crash, followed by the breaking of glass, a short bear with messy fur and a red baseball cap said, "I guess so. They've gotta be in the hallway."

Curious, the mixed assortment of humans and animals that were gathered there made their way to the hallway to see who was fighting whom this time. After all, it wasn't as if fights between employees wasn't normal. There were fights almost every week, hence why there was a major shortage of employees.

What they saw when they stepped into the hallway was definitely a surprise, though. Sitting on top of his opponent landing blow after brutal blow on his face, Huckleberry Hound yelled, "You wanted to see me get angry? Well, you got what you wished for!"

Immediately, whoops and hollers came from the crowd, cheering the hound on. Others stood there with mouths agape, hardly believing what they were seeing. Huckleberry Hound, possibly the most laid-back, easy going and cool-headed hound dog man had ever known, was beating the everliving tar out of a fellow employee. And it wasn't just any employee either: it was none other than Stinky Dalton, one of the meanest members of their crew and notorious for picking on people like Huck.

Judging on Huck's reaction, it was clear that he was fed up with Stinky's crap.

Everyone was so caught up in the fight that nobody heard the manager and the supervisor coming in until they started yelling. They burst through the crowd, running over to pull Huck and Stinky away from each other, which took a lot of effort. Stinky snarled at Huck, who gave him a hard glare.

"Seriously?! I expected this kind of behavior from Stinky himself, but from you?!" the supervisor demanded, glaring at Huck.

The coonhound crossed his arms, his expression knotted into a rare scowl. "I attempted to walk away from the fight, sir, honestly, I did. But he started it first. He kept insulting me and then threw me into the wall," he said. "After that..."

"That's a lie and you know it!" Stinky spat, his voice filled with rage. "You just can't admit that you're an utter failure of an employee!"

"Why don't you come over here and say that to my face?!" Huck yelled, attempting to lunge at Stinky, only to be held back by the manager.

"That's enough, both of you. I want you to head to my office, immediately," he ordered sternly. With his hands still firmly clasping Huck's upper arms, he dragged him over to his office, while the supervisor dragged Stinky off to the other side of the building.

That left the employees standing in the hallway, wired and gossipy. The second the doors to both offices closed, the hallway was filled with excited chatter about the fight and of course, the inevitable firing of both Huck and Stinky.

In other words, it was just another normal day at Peter's Perfect Packaging.

"And you see, T.C., that's why I ended up losing my job. To be honest, Stinky was askin' for it."

There was a pause on the other end, and Huck had to remove the phone from his right ear as his friend, the ever cool and ever confident Top Cat, burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter at his tale. He heard a loud crash and knew that he must've fallen out of his trash can again, and he himself had to stifle a chuckle at that.

"Sorry about that Huck, but that...that was too funny to not laugh at," Top Cat replied. "One, because you hardly if ever get angry, and two, since I'm surprised you didn't clock him sooner."

"Well, you know how I am, T.C.: I never attack people unless they continue to mess with me," Huck answered. "Stinky didn't learn that until my fist met his face."

"Yeah, well, at least I know now that you're not a complete doormat like I thought," Top Cat said. "So, what have you been up to ever since then?"

"I've been looking for work, but I can't seem to find anything," Huck answered. "You know how the economy is."

"Tell me about it. It's not easy to get money nowadays," Top Cat groaned. "Tell you what. I'll see if I can find any job offers in the local newspaper. If they have anything, I'll send it to you."

Huck brightened at this news. "You'd really do that, Top Cat?"

"Of course. Consider it a favor from an old friend," Top Cat answered. "Besides, you saved my skin from Officer Dribble the last time you came up to Hoagy's Alley. But don't forget, this'll be two you owe me, Huck."

"Thanks for reminding me, Top Cat," he said. "I should probably let you go, before Dibble comes around and starts yelling at you again."

Top Cat sighed. "I swear, that man's name is like another word for 'buzzkill'. See you around, Huck. You're still coming to New York in the summer, right?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking of it, as soon as I save up some more money for the trip. Tell the rest of the gang I said hi," Huck said, and hung up. After putting the receiver back, he looked over at the clock on his wall, and saw that it was eleven o'clock, meaning that the mail had already come by.

"That must mean the newspaper's come by, too," he said to himself. Jumping out of the chair, he grabbed his red baseball cap that was hanging on the coat rack, put it on, and opened the front door. Picking up his newspaper, he made his way to his mailbox, which was practically bursting with mail. Huck then realized that he hadn't checked the mail in at least a week, since he'd been busy at his other jobs.

He pulled out the huge stack of letters, skimming through them in seconds. Most of them were bills and junk mail, while others were letters from his old friends that he hadn't seen in a few months. After making sure that he had the mail securely tucked under his arm, he went back inside his house.

His mind wandered back to his conversation with Top Cat, and he realized that he should also look in the newspaper for job offers. There were over a thousand jobs available, and he never knew unless he tried it out for himself. It had worked before, and he could do it again.

Ignoring the rest of the mail for now, Huck opened the newspaper and started to comb through the various job offers. There were some for computer programmers, technicians, repairmen, construction workers and electricians, but none of those sounded appealing to Huck. He remembered well the disasters he'd caused trying out those jobs; his stint as an electrician had caused a week-long blackout in New York City. But that was a story for another time.

Huck was about ready to give up when a larger advertisement on the right side of the paper caught his attention. It was red and gold, a stark contrast to the black and white blurbs in the section. Stars and spears decorated the borders of the advertisement and the words were written in bold red text.

Looking for a new job? WE have one for you! Fabulous new job in peaceful world, Equestria, and one that promises good pay!
Offer ends soon! Positions available now!

Directions below"
1957 Mirror Pool Lane
Right off of I-40

Huck stared at the job offer for a little longer, the gears turning over in his head. He knew that some offers were too good to be true, and turned out to be scams built to steal people's hard-earned money. Plus, the advertisement was kind of vague: whoever created it didn't bother to mention which world this job was located in, or what the job even was. Even the scammers who routinely flooded Huck's mailbox gave a description of the job, at least.

Even so, the words "good pay" were much too promising to pass up. So far, he'd been on an unlucky streak when it came to salaries, with some of his jobs paying below minimum wage. He also added in the fact that he needed the money to pay off the mortgage for his house and for his trip to New York in the summer, as well as other necessities.

Huck closed the newspaper, confronted with two choices: do the sensible thing and walk away from the offer, or take a chance and jump into it without researching it first.

Number two won out.

"You're going to just go over there without even thinking?!" Top Cat yelled on the other end of the phone.

Huck sighed, then placed the receiver back to his ear. "Well, you always said to take chances, Top Cat. And that's what I'm gonna do," he replied. "After all, they promised good pay, and it gives me a chance to explore something new. To be honest, I've pretty much held every position here that you can think of. I'd love to see what kind of jobs they've got in this new world they're talking about."

Top Cat groaned. "Huck, this whole thing sounds like a scam. I mean, who the heck offers you a job on another planet? That's just ridiculous!"

"Top Cat, you do realize you're talking to a former Galactic Guardian, right?" Huck noted, slightly offended. "Believe it or not, Yogi and I were traveling to other planets saving people from danger." His voice took on a dreamy tone. "Those days were the best, hanging out in the disco club..."

"Huck, as much as I'd like to hear you reminisce about your Galactic Guardian days, I don't have a lot of time before Drizzle comes back on his beat," Top Cat replied. He knew Huck well enough to know when he was about to launch into one of his anecdotes, which lasted for a whole day in some cases.

"Sorry about that," Huck said sheepishly. "I appreciate your concern, Top Cat, but I'm low on cash. I've got bills and the mortgage to pay, and I've already had to take out some of my vacation money to pay the former. And I don't want to cause another nationwide disaster like what happened when I was an electrician."

"So you were the one behind that blackout a few months ago!" Top Cat accused.

"...I didn't say anything about that." Huck hoped that the feline would buy that as an excuse.

"Oh, for the love of...look, Huck, what I'm saying is, you really need to reconsider this offer. I mean, you could get treated like crap on this other planet, or this job could turn out to be crappy," Top Cat said. "Or you could end up in a world ravaged by war!"

"Maybe so, but I won't know unless I try it. And I've already looked up the name of the place that they mentioned in the paper. The planet's called E-quest-ria or something like that," Huck said. "From what it said on the internet, the planet's much more peaceful than Earth is, and it's got some really nice scenery, too."

"Huck, you do know you can't believe everything you read on the Internet, right?"

"There really ain't any other reliable sources I can count on. This E-quest-ria place doesn't even appear in any books," Huck argued.

"Hence why I think it's a scam. It obviously doesn't exist," Top Cat snorted.

"If it didn't exist, then why would there be directions on how to get there at the bottom of a newspaper?" Huck demanded.

"Well..." Huck smirked to himself as Top Cat tried and failed to come up with an answer. "Oh, alright, fine. You got me there. Still...it seems odd that they didn't leave you a contact or anything."

"True...maybe I'll meet somebody when I get there," Huck said.

"Eh, it's worth a shot. But...be careful out there, Huck. The last thing I need to hear is an article in the news about somebody who was killed in another world," Top Cat warned.

"I promise I'll be careful. And if it turns out to be a scam like you said, I'll be back, lickety split," Huck said. "And if I don't come back...you have my permission to forcibly drag me back."

There was a beat, and then Top Cat said, cheekily, "If that's the case, I hope you stay there for a long time."

Huck rolled his eyes, but only in jest. "Alright, you old joker. See you in about a week or two, depending on how long I stay." He hung up the phone, and jumped off the couch, heading to his bedroom to pack his things. The sooner he made his way there, the sooner he could apply. And the sooner he could apply, the better.

Even so, he couldn't help but think that maybe Top Cat was right. Maybe he was rushing into things a little too quickly. He normally wasn't this greedy, after all, and he liked to be well-informed of the position he was receiving before applying. He was surprised that he'd been able to find so much information about Equestria itself, but almost nothing on the position that he was being offered. He even typed in "Equestria job offer scams" and pulled up nothing after searching for hours. He'd thought about mentioning that to Top Cat, but that would only convince the alley cat to try to persuade him even more to drop it.

"Ah, well. I still need to see for myself if this is a good fit," Huck said, pulling out his suitcase. "Besides, it's not like I haven't encountered things like this before."

An hour later, Huck parked his small sedan on the side of the road, seeing the street for Mirror Pool Lane through his headlights. He looked all around the small, open park, noticing that not a soul was out tonight. The only illumination was the large, silvery moon that hung in the sky, which painted a glassy reflection on the water's surface. Huck stepped out of his car with his suitcase in hand, scratching his head in confusion.

"The newspaper said this was the right place," he muttered, frowning. "Maybe if I go farther down I can get a better look at the area. This is the only part of the county I haven't been in, after all."

Huck made his way through the park, making sure to look where he was going. He had heard some strange stories about Mirror Pool Lane, stories that made him somewhat leery of going there. There were stories about people who stepped inside and came back out with duplicates of themselves. Another story had been about a man who had fallen in and disappeared, never to come back again. As he approached the edge of the pool and looked around the area beyond, Huck had to remind himself that those were nothing more than stories made up by people who didn't want them to go to the pool.

No matter how hard he tried, he still saw nothing.

After another few seconds of searching, Huck sighed, defeated. "Seems like Top Cat was right. It really was a scam," he said. "I hate to admit it, but he was right..." Feeling angry with himself for falling for a trap that easily, he turned around from the sight of the lake and prepared to make his way back to his car.

That was when he'd stumbled into something large and heavy. Letting out a small "oof" in surprise, he shook off his dizziness and looked up at the being, who he assumed to be a large man.

"Sorry about that, sir," he muttered sheepishly. "I guess I got in your way..."

The man didn't answer for a long moment, and Huck thought he must not have heard him or he had and didn't care. But both theories were proven wrong when the man looked down at him, and glowing green eyes stared back into his. Huck felt his heart leap into his throat with fear, and he jumped backwards, horrified. The coldness coming from this man's eyes sent goosebumps crawling under his fur.

"Oh, you got in my way, alright," the man hissed. His voice was a watery whisper, and colder than a midwinter's night. "And you, like everyone else who gets in my way, are going to be extremely sorry for doing so."

"C-Can't we just talk this out?" Huck stammered.

"That will not be an option. For you see, you will not be doing any talking after I'm done with you."

Huck stepped back again, suddenly wishing that he had taken Top Cat's advice and not gone out here foolishly on his own. Now here he was, about to be killed by this cold, lifeless man, who was starting to pull out a strange sword from his pocket.

The third step Huck took made him lose his balance. Before he could even grab hold of something, he went tumbling into the lake. On instinct, he closed his mouth as soon as he went underwater in order to prevent his lungs from filling with water.

The mysterious figure attempted to grab him from the pool, but whether it was to rescue him or to finish killing him, Huck didn't know. But he did know that he was going to drown if he didn't get some air soon, and he swam farther away, towards the glittering surface of the lake, the thoughts of sweet refreshing air propelling him through the cold, salty water.

In less than a second, Huck burst through the surface, gulping air greedily. Wiping the water from his eyes, he turned to see if the mysterious figure had still followed him...

..and encountered something else entirely. He saw that he was no longer at Mirror Pool Lane, but he was in a cave that was surrounded by glowing blue crystals. Sunbeams filtered in through a jagged crack in the ceiling of the cave, and outside, he could hear the scurrying of animals.

Huck was confused by this. There was no way in the world that he could have swam into a cave; he had only swam far enough to get away from that horrible man seeking to kill him. He figured that he'd swim to the center of the lake and then make a run for it when he reached the other side.

Well, obviously, that wasn't going to happen.

I'd better get out of here and find out what's going on, Huck thought to himself, and swam towards the edge of the pool, pulling himself out of the water. After shaking off the excess water, he made his way towards a steep incline which he believed to be the way out. Judging from the amount of steps there were, he was going to be making quite a climb.

"Well, I needed the exercise anyway," Huck said, before climbing up the stairs.

About thirty minutes later, Huck emerged, huffing and puffing, from a small entrance carved into the side of a mountain. Pausing to catch his breath, he took a look outside the cave in order to get a view of the area. What he saw made his jaw drop.

A lush forest surrounded him, which gave way to a large opening in the middle. The sun shone brightly in the sky, which was clear save for a few clouds. Past the large opening, Huck could see rooftops of houses, which appeared to be made of either hay or straw.

He blinked, utterly surprised. This looked nothing at all like Mirror Pool Lane, which had no buildings as far as he'd seen.

Or maybe he was wrong. Maybe there was a small neighborhood beyond the borders of the lake, hidden by the densely large woods. That had to be it.

But that still didn't explain how he'd ended up in a cave from swimming towards the center of a lake. Or how it was suddenly the middle of the day when he'd walked out of there.

Deciding that he would have to wait for an explanation, Huck walked out of the forest and made his way into the large clearing. Maybe some of the locals could help him sort out things, as well as helping him find a way back home. He walked onwards, taking in the full sight of the large town spread out before him. Chatter and cheerful singing could be heard somewhere in the distance.

"I guess they must be having a festival," Huck muttered, and started to make his way into the town, taking note that all of the inhabitants were horses. They weren't like his friend Quick Draw, who towered over him by at least three feet. These horses were about a foot shorter than him, had colorful manes and coats, and had strange symbols on their flanks. And unlike Quick Draw, they walked on all fours.

Some of the ponies waved at him, but most simply stopped and stared, as though they couldn't believe what they were seeing. Huck tried not to follow their stares, but after passing about ten ponies, it was starting to get a little unnerving.

I wonder why they're all starin' at me, he thought. Back home, nobody ever minded a blue-furred dog. Hopefully, I can find somebody who'll give me directions...or at least a back road I can use to get home.

No sooner had he thought that than something crashed into him so fast and violently, he went flying halfway across the town square, crashing into the ground with enough force to carve a trench through it. After skidding to a stop, he coughed out the bits of stray dirt and grass that had found their way into his mouth.

"What in the Sam Hill just happened?!" he cried, startled and irritated, opening his eyes.

There, standing nose to nose with him, was a pink pony with a magenta mane and bright blue eyes. She blinked a few times at him, and then a large smile broke out on her face. Huck could practically see himself in her teeth.

"Hi!" she chirped. "I've never seen you before!"

"Uh...that's because I just came here...." Huck couldn't think of another explanation.

The pink pony gasped. "Oh my gosh! I saw you from across the street and thought, 'Hey, he must be a newcomer from another world since, you know, there aren't any dogs with blue fur and funny clothes here in Equestria and stuff'. So, I thought 'Better go welcome him!' and I sprung from waaaay across town to greet you!" she said, bouncing up and down on top of him. Each jump made his stomach do cartwheels. "I can't wait to introduce you to some of my friends! They'll be happy to meet you, too!"

Huck stared at the pony as she bounced about and chattered, at a complete loss for words. Out of all the people he'd met, he'd never met anyone this hyper.

But the other reason for his silence was because she had just said that there were no blue-furred dogs in Equestria.

Equestria. As in, the Equestria that had posted that vague job offer in the newspaper.

Well, dog my cats. This place turned out to be real after all! Willing himself to stay calm, Huck cleared his throat as the pony continued chattering about how she'd met her friends. "Excuse me, miss," he coughed.

The pony stopped mid-chatter to pay attention to him. "Yes?"

"Uh, do you mind if I get up now? I can hardly breathe with you jumpin' on me."

"Oops! Sorry!" She leaped off of him, jumping back at least a few feet. Huck stood up and brushed the dirt off of his fur.

"Thank you kindly, miss," he said. "Now, who might you be?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie! I set up parties around town and do lots of other things!"

"Nice to meet you, Pinkie. I'm Huckleberry Hound, but most of my friends call me Huck," he said, extending his paw towards her.

To Huck's surprise, Pinkie did a small handstand, followed by sticking out her left hoof. "Nice to meet you, too!" she said, enthusiastically shaking his paw with enough force to shake him. After setting him down, she performed a backflip, landing on the ground lightly before asking, "What brings you to Ponyville?"

Recovering from the handshake, Huck said, "Well, that's something I'm not quite sure about. It's a long story, and I'm mighty tired. Is there a place we can go to talk?" His stomach growled. "And uh, maybe find something to eat?"

"Sure! Let's head on over to Sugarcube Corner! You can help yourself to some punch and cake!" she said, and started to happily bounce in the direction of a building that looked like an explosion of sweets. The roof's thatching appeared to be made of gingerbread cookies and vanilla frosting, and even the highest spire of the building looked a large cupcake, with three candles on top.

"B-But I don't have any money on me!" Huck exclaimed, running up to Pinkie.

"Don't worry! It's on the house!" And with a bounce, Pinkie was through the door.

"Well, at least I'm not navigating this here new world alone," Huck said, making his way into the shop. Hopefully, he'd be able to get some answers to his questions.