//------------------------------// // Q&A Part 2: 4th Wall isn't THAT fragile, you know // Story: Sunny, Moonie, Twily // by Jetto //------------------------------// "Hello everybody and welcome to another installment of..." "Sunny!" "Moony!" "Twily!" "Q&A!" "I hope they're enjoying that intro, because it's starting to get old." "It's the third time we did this." "And it's already getting on my nerves." "What's NOT getting on your nerves?" Creepypasta Pinkamena asks: #askmaresketeers Sunset, as a necromancer, you have some potential to being a excellent zombie horder. (granted I know a nercomancing sorcercer and the feeling is not mutual with that guy. never try to make deals with that guy or it'll backfire less then 10 seconds. sorry I can't say his name. another time for another place) I was wondering how come you didn't burn those annyoing stallions at the beach with some cold flames? Yea there were a lot of witnesses at the beach and could possibly have you having another 'talk' Princess Sunbutt but eh...some piece and quiet could be worth it. Awesome flames btw "Ugh, knowing some spells doesn't make you a necromancer! Also, why would you mention some other guy if you don't feel like elaborating on it? Even if I wanted to make a deal with him, I don't even know who 'he' is. What are you now, a prophecy which tells us NOTHING because it's vague for the sake of being 'mysterious'? What is so hard about words that humans don't seem to use them?" "Sunny," Moondancer put a hoof on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes "take a deep breath. Then out. In. Out." Surprisingly enough, after rolling her eyes, Sunset Shimmer did exactly what she was asked, until she was finally calm. "okay, now proceed." "Ehem, as for your second question, I didn't burn..." "Cold flames doesn't burn living tissue." "...those idiots because the only sin they committed is being complete morons. Which isn't illegal, sadly. I can get away with beating up thugs or criminals, but try explaining hurting innocent ponies to guards, or worse, to Princess Celestia. I'm stepping on thin enough ice as I am." Moondancer. You and I could have hug time sometimes. %100 sure it would lead to something else because you're Moondancer "Not a question, but sure, just call me. But I do take slight offense over the latter statement. Not every hug time ends with sex, you know. I hug Sunny and Twily all the time and nothing happened so far. Am I right, girls?" "She's right. Twilight is still a virgin." "Oh for the love of... this again? I refuse to continue this stupid conversation!" "Sorry, can't hear ya. I'm too busy being better than you." Twilight, If a stallion, nice or nerdy or buff or watever, comes up to you and asks if you want go on a date or go out for drinks, there is a 99% percent chance they've been with moondancer. Just sayin. Praise the Sock "Once again, not a question. And yes, we are all aware of that. Praise the Sock!" "PRAISE THE SOCK!" D48 asks: #2cool4hashtags (what, someone had to do it ) "Haha, very funny. Next!" "Sunny!" "What, they can be smart-assses but I can't?" To Moondancer: Have you ever managed to get either of the other two to go on a date? I feel like they could really use some help on that front because Twilight is completely oblivious and Sunset is homicidal insane unique. "Nope. But you know how I am, I don't give up that easily! Or ever!" "Joy..." To Twilight: There is a colt in your class named Red Hope. Go ask him if he wants to go on a date with you. "Not a question, and uhh... no thank you. I'm sure he has better things to do." Pause" "No snarky comments this time?" "Nah, too easy." To Moondancer: Have you ever tried hooking up with Celestia? "Uhhh, not really. Don't get me wrong, she's great, and pretty and I'm sure she could teach me a thing or two (maybe three?), but... I dunno, she's a little too..." "Intimidating?" "Out of your league?" "Too powerful?" "Too old?" "...motherly. She's like a family to us, it just wouldn't feel right. Though, I'd be lying if I said I never had a special dream or two..." "NEXT!" To Sunset: How many ponies have you killed, and what was the most ridiculous reason you had for killing somepony? "None. I have standards." To Moondancer: Have you ever heard of changelings, and if so have you ever given thought to what you could do if you ever ran into one? "Hmmm, having my very own changeling buddy sounds like a dream come true!" "NEXT!" "At least let me finish!" "I'd rather not--" "See, changelings feed off of love, which is an infinitely renewable resource. The only thing that stops them, is prejudice, dishonesty and bad communication, mostly on the ponies behalf. I'm pretty sure we could come up with some compromise, to have them settled in pony cities, in exchange for some services, which I'm pretty sure they have plenty to offer. With shapeshifting alone they could be great actors, to name one thing. But alas, they're treated as simple villains, even though they're only goal in life is to survive. What if they're simply misunderstood, is what I'm getting at. At the very least, we should talk to them, if we could find any. They're kinda good at hiding." "Huh, that was surprisingly uplifting." "They're living beings, they deserve a chance for happiness. And that's not even mentioning what they could do in bed, if you know what I mean?" "NEXT!" "I could have him (or her? It?) turn into some celebrities! Or Princess Celestia, which wouldn't be creepy since it's just an image..." "NEXT!" "...or make him turn into Sunny or Twily! Ooh, can I have two? That would be awesome!" "NEEEEXT!" Whiteeyes asks: #askmareskateers So, Twilight, the first two questions are for you. 1) How do you feel about you brother being an EoH? Excitement, resentment, worry,you're not sure? "What's EoH?" "Emblem of Honor?" "Ember of Hope?" Group shrug. 2) If you had to pick, who would you prefer to become an alicorn: Sunset or Moondancer? "Hmmmm..." "Really? How is that even a choice?" "Hey, what is that supposed to mean!?" "What I mean is, we don't need an 'Alicorn of Fertility', thank you very much!" "Hey, I can do more stuff than bang! Besides, I always use protection, so your analogy is far off." "Well I certainly don't see a problem with fillies idolizing an 'Alicorn of Casual Sex'." "Like 'Alicorn of Firey Death and Destruction' would be any better!" "I don't kill ponies!" "Fine, then 'Alicorn of JUST Firey Destruction!" "Slut!" "Brute!" "Nymphomaniac airbrain!" "Raging She-demon!" "Pass." Sunset Shimmer. 1) What are your thoughts and opinions on the current political situation in Equestria? What work and what near to change? "We had about one thousand years of peace and prosperity, with our biggest problem being noble dimwits trying to outwit Princess Celestia and her taking none of that. I'd say Equestria is doing just fine." "I think the reader was trying to ask a question about your origin or your parents." "I already said I don't want to talk about it. And even if I did, who said I agree with them?" 2) If you had to kill either Twilight or Moondancer, which would you kill? "Moondancer." "Geez, color me shocked." And finally for Moondancer. 1) Why so much banging? You don't even get to know them first (see the gay couple you thought were twins as reference), or after now that I think about it. So why? Blink. "...I don't understand the question." 2) If you had to choose one of your finds, either Twilight or Sunset, who would you bang IF on top of that whoever you chose is the only person, regardless of species, you could ever bang from then on? And the other one is doomed to be a virgin forever. "Oh, that's a very mean question! I hate choosing from my best friends!" "I think there's only one correct answer and it should be me." "WHAT?!" "After all, there's only one pony here that could remain a virgin forever. Two hints: it's not Moondancer, and..." "We get it! You can stop rubbing it in my face every two seconds." "But that's the funniest part of this whole..." "Q&A!" "Why does it have to happen every time we say it?" "So, this is just a hypothetical situation then? You're not actually agreeing to this now, are you?" "Of course I..." Pause. "...am dead serious." "You are?" "Yep. Come and take me, Moonie. Right here, right now! Twilight, cover your eyes, this is too much for you to bear." Moondancer had the biggest grin on her face... for about three seconds, before something hit her. "Wait, what's the catch?" "The catch is, that you better learn to love my horn with all your heart, because it'll be the most phallic object you'll be seeing, feeling and tasting for the rest of your life. Come on, I'm waiting." Moondancer opened her mouth, but said nothing, while Twilight covered herself in blush. "Darn! Well played, Sunny." "Another score for the Sunbutt! I'm on a roll today!" meerkat8472 #askmaresketeers Twilight, have you ever been on a date? Cause there are probably a bunch of guys out there who would really like to. Just saying. "You have two guesses on that." "J-just because I'm a virgin doesn't mean I haven’t been on a date!" "Your brother doesn't count." "B-but..." "Nnnnnnnext!" Don Swordspony #askmaresketeers Who is the 4th new member of the Three Maresketeers and why is she the mane character? Also am I right in thinking that Twilight is Athos, Sunset is Aramis, and Moondancers is Pathos. Wait I guess that awnsers my first question and Trixie is D'Artagnan. "Trixie? Why would she, of all ponies, become a Fourth Maresketeer?" "You have to admit, she's been making more and more appearances since her original story... which somebody in the audience still didn't read, which is a shame, because it's a damn good story and you're missing out! Go, have a link, right here:" CLICK THIS! "Okay, rant over." "Moonie has a point. Up until today, she's been the only member of the supporting cast that had a chapter, two actually, all for herself, without any of us." "I was in the flashback in the second one!" "Well, yeah, but it barely counts." "Wasn't Princess Celestia in both of those chapters?" "True, but she's more of a mentor figure than a fourth member. Trixie is more on our level and it wouldn't be unreasonable if she joined the mane cast full time." "But then we'd have to change the title of the story to Sunny, Moonie, Twily, Trixie, which doesn't quite have that good of a ring to it." "The original story of 'Three Musketeers' also didn't mention the fourth one, even though he was the main character, so to speak." "So, is she joining us full time, or what?" "I think saying it right now would be considered spoilers, but..." "But what?" "... you girls do realize that dorm room is supposed to have four ponies, right? Just saying." The Real McCoy asks: #askmaresketeers Are any of you familiar with the multiverse theory? Or, is that not a theory in your world? And, if it is a theory in your universe, would any of you ever like to visit the other universes? "Of course we're familiar with it. We even had a class on it." "Oh, oh," Sunset raised her hoof, unaware that readers can't see it until I mention it "guess which of us three got the highest score? I'll give you two hints: she's not a virgin, and not a nymphomaniac!" Twilight facehooved. "You'll never stop, will you?" "Nope. So suck it up, loser." "Well, back to the question, it's not that I don't want to believe in them, but it's all theory, with no real means of transporting or even spitting what it might look like and not even Princess Celestia has magic powerful enough to achieve it. I can't really support it." "Sparkle, you do realize we're fictional characters, based on a children's cartoon in another world, written by some guy on a slow day at work, answering questions of some random viewers, right?" "I mean in the context of the story! We're stretching this 4th wall thing enough as we are." "Moondancer, why are you so uncharacteristically quiet?" "I've been thinking..." "Uh-oh..." "See, I've been having some weird dreams lately." "Dreams? What kind of?" "Mostly about you two... no, they're not erotic, for once! I've seen Twilight, living with Spike in the library..." "Sounds about right." "... but not in Canterlot. Somewhere else, though I'm not sure where exactly. And she had a bunch of friends with her! But here's the weird part: I've also seen Sunny, but she was... different." "Different how?" "Well, for one, she was... well, a human." "Human?" "Yeah. And she was going to school with other humans and she had a few friends there, though I don't quite remember any of them. But you were in a band!" "By a band, you mean...?" "Musical. Soft rock, pop, something along those lines. You played a guitar." "Me? With a guitar?" "And you were a lead singer! A very good one!" "What about you? Did you see yourself in those dreams?" "Yeah, I did." Pause. "I think." "What do you mean, 'you think'?" "Well, 'I' was wearing a gray sweater and thick, reading glasses, taped in the middle!" "The alternate you didn't wear contacts?" "Nope. And my mane, it was... ugh, I can't even begin to describe how much that mane style bothered me! Who in their right mind ties their mane on top with a rubber band!? I wanted to go there and rip it off! Ugh, such a crime against fashion!" "So, I'm assuming there were no colts to bang around you, then?" "Not that I saw any." "Well, at least now we know it's all just bullcrap fantasy world." "I know, right! But I know there's no way any of this was real, in any possible reality. Do you know why?" "Your abstinence is kind of a dead giveaway." "That too. But what I really meant, was that the three of us weren't together. Which in my books is about the worst possible world to live in and I doubt any cosmic entities would allow for such crappy world to exist." Twilight and Sunset looked at each other, then back to Moondancer, both shrugging, while trying to hide their small blushes. "She's not entirely wrong, I guess." "And seriously, me? A human? Moonie, you need to stop snacking before bedtime. You're weird enough as you are." Also: Moondancer, what does it mean when ponies say that ponies bodies don't bend like that when they're talking about your 'extracurricular activities'? "It means that you guys are lucky you only ever see the text. Me? I got the whole picture and believe me, it's not something you want to be your mental image every time you close your eyes, ugh! Though knowing some of you guys, you'd probably get off of it anyway." "SUNSET!" "What? This shows attract all the weirdoes, not that I'm implying every single one of them is like that, but still! Who in their right mind finds some crazy, cartoony physics porn attractive anyway?" "Actually..." "I know what words you're gonna say and I'll have none of them!" "No, what I meant to say..." "Moonie, I swear, one more lewd comment and I'll strangle your neck, right here, right..." "I have rubber ribs." "...now and I'll make sure this becomes canon some--... wait, what?" "I have prosthetic, rubber ribs. That's why I bend that way. Well, they're not EXACTLY rubber per say, but close enough." Long pause. "Excuse me, WHAT?" "Back when I was a filly, I was once hit by a runaway cart. I'm lucky I survived, but most of my bones were shattered and broken beyond repair. Which is a good thing my mother is super rich and influential. She must've pulled dozens of favors and millions of bits to afford the surgery, but hey, it worked! Good as new, more functional and practically indestructible!" "...what." "That's what I mean when I say my mother only ever spends money on me. She's REALLY good at it!" "Twilight, did you know that?" "I was there when it happen, I couldn't forget it if I tried! I almost lost my best and only friend before my eyes and I couldn't even do anything!" "Don't beat yourself over it, you did plenty! She was there for me, in the hospital. Before, during and after the surgery." "Oh shucks, you don't have to tell them that!" "She stayed in my hospital room and read me books, even when I was still in coma. They tried to take her back home, but really, try saying no to that face!" "Ehehe." "And she was the first pony I saw when I woke up. Imagine my surprise, when I lazily opened my eyes and the first thing I saw, was my bestest friend in the world, sleeping over my bed, her head buried in an open book. I didn't have the soul to wake her up. Or strength to talk, for that matter. But she was sooo cute when sleeping! Or awake. She still is." "Moonie, you're ruining the moment." "I strongly disagree with that statement." The two laughed heartily over near death experience of one of them. "Sunny, why are you so quiet?" "No reason." "Okay then. How about we go for one more, then we wrap up?" "I'm not in the mood anymore." "Wha-? Oh come on, Sunny!" "To be fair, this has been going for longer than we planned." "Bummer. Oh well, there's always next time." "If you have any more questions, be sure to send them in the comments section and don't forget the hashtag!" "The non-existing hashtag." "It still works!" Another pause. "Sunny, aren't you going to whine about hashtags?" "Or at least complain?" "No." "Well, somepony's a buzzkill. We still love you. Bye, bye!"