Ex-Evils Anonymous

by PensacolaRanger


Chapter 10 - Last Minute Business

As Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Spike, and Princesses Twilight & Luna were coming out through the Chamber Door, Luna began hastily trotting on ahead. “Oh, dear, ’tis getting late, Big Sis must have lowered the sun by now. Time for me to go and raise the moon!"

“Wait—Luna?” Twilight called. Luna paused, and turned back. “Yes?” she asked.

Twilight gingerly trotted up to Luna, and asked in a hushed tone: “Could Princess Celestia really have heard us,
all the way back to Canterlot Castle?”

Luna blinked a few times…then smiled. “Of course, Princess Twilight…”
Then she bent closer to the Friendship Princess, and whispered: “…but not always with her ears.”

Twilight blinked in confusion. Luna only winked, slyly. “And with that, I bid thee: Good Night.”

Rolling her eyes & smiling, Twilight replied: “Good night, Princess Luna.”

Then as Luna was leaving, a gray postal pony with blonde mane & tail and misaligned eyes came flying into the hallway---too high and too fast! She collided with the wall, then came skittering down to land in a heap on the floor, mail envelopes fluttering down all over the place. After a beat, she got up and shook her head vigorously. “Sorry, my bad..” she said. Spike rushed to help pick up the scattered letters.

“Derpy, what are you doing here?” said Dash.

“Yeah; don’t you run a stationary store now?” said Twilight. “Anyway, mail call was supposed to have been six hours ago. What happened to the regular postal pony?

“(*Sigh*) Sorry again…” Derpy apologized, “…I’m filling in for him today. Out sick. Ate a bad muffin, I guess. And I keep forgetting you guys don’t live in Cloudsdale or Ponyville anymore. But, neigh-ther snow nor rain, nor gloom of night, et cetera, et cetera…” she managed with a goofy grin. Spike handed her the recovered mail, which she took in hoof and quickly shuffled through. “Thanks….Oh! Here’s three for you, Rainbow Dash!”

She came up and stuffed the letters in between Dash’s teeth, then placed a supportive hoof on Dash’s neck. “And for what it’s worth, Dash …I believe in you." “Tharrrnkstth, Derrphy…” Rainbow managed in a muffled tone.

“’Gotta fly!" Derpy saluted, as she took off, and still managed to bump into more walls on her way back up the stairwell.

Fluttershy winced at each bump, hoping poor Derp would make it out all right.

Spike took the letters from Dash’s mouth and opened the first one. Dash exercised her jaws, lips and tongue, trying to get the paper taste out. “I’m never ‘gonna get used to that pony’s strange ways.” Rainbow sighed.

“Hey, Dash! It’s from the weather factory… 'Dear Rainbow Dash: Glad to see you're still going to be working for us, and we want you to know, we forgive you. We're NEVER GOING TO LET YOU DO THAT AGAIN, but we forgive you. And to make sure: we're going to have extra security posted in the Winter & Lightning Labs, to see that you FIX EACH and EVERY piece of equipment you broke. Too bad about Tank, but I'm sure the sleep will do him good. You must've really cared about him to pull off a crazy stunt like that. Just don't ever do it again. No hard feelings, but don't forget to wear your hard hat. See you next week. Signed: Commander Hurricane IV, Chief Weather Pony, Cloudsdale Weather Factory.'"

“(*Whew*) Lucky break there, Dash!” said Twilight.

“Yeah, no kidding…” said Rainbow. “Who’s next, Spike?”

Spike opened the second envelope. “Well, well, well! It’s from your favorite author, A.K. Yearling: 'Dear Rainbow Dash: That must be some pet tortoise you have, for you to go to such lengths to keep from parting with him. Clearly I'm not the only hero in your life. I had a little dog once; named him Indy. Still got lots of fond memories of that dog; I would've done anything for him. Sending you an autographed copy of my next book, once it's published. Who knows: that little factory caper of yours just might make a great children's book someday. You might even get to write it yourself. Oh, one more thing: if you EVER go treasure hunting for that golden idol in Griffonstone again...CALL ME!! I could reach it!! Good luck and take care. Signed: Daring-Do.'"

“Wowww…” Dash said with a dreamy smile. “If you don’t write it, I will.” said Twilight with a smirk.

“Huh, what?” said Dash, coming out of it. “Nothing!” Twilight smiled, quickly turning her head and looking up.

Fluttershy giggled softly, but not wishing to interrupt, kept to one side quietly, and continued listening.

“Oh, hey, Twilight…she’s got a note for you, too!” said Spike. “For me?" Twilight wondered.

Spike passed a folded card within the envelope to Twilight, marked: ‘For Twilight’s Eyes Only.’ She levitated it up to
her eyes, and magically pried it open. She read quietly, intently…then froze! “(*Gasp*) No way…” Twilight whispered.

It seemed Daring-Do was making plans to sign up for the group, too; something about an incident she caused on Hearts & Hooves Day a while back, over her relentless pursuit of a certain box of her favorite rare truffle candies, which resulted in her spending the night in the Canterlot Jail. Although Celestia had pardoned the famous explorer, and her writing career was in no immediate danger, she still worried about it, and wanted to come give testimony at a future EEA meeting, as well as talk things over with the Grand-High Alicorn Princess, regarding her ‘permanent record.’

“Something wrong, Twilight?” asked Dash, seeing her friend appeared worried over the note. Twilight paused, thinking…

Closing the card & slipping it under her crown, the Friendship Princess decided to keep it a secret from the author’s second-biggest fan. “Oh, it’s nothing serious. Just a list of facts she wants me to look up for...story research.” Twilight downplayed.

“Cool… Well, come on, Spike! What about the last one?” Dash nearly whined in eager anticipation.

“And last but not least…” said Spike, tearing open the last envelope. “…Yep! The Wonderbolts: 'Dear Rainbow Dash: Just want you to know, there will ALWAYS be a place for you on the flight team. Soarin' sure was worried about you throughout the trial, but he's happy now to see you didn't get a worse sentence. The end may not have justified the means, but clearly, that pet tortoise of yours must mean EVERYTHING to you. Hope he's having a nice winter's nap, and dreaming about you. Take care my friend, and don't go blowing up any more weather factories. Signed: Captain Spitfire, The Wonderbolts.'"

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh…they forgave me, too! Even the Wonderbolts forgave me!” said Dash, her wings flapping & lifting her up off the floor a few inches.

Fluttershy joined in on the flapping, softly cheering: “Yay…”

“There, you see? Nothing at all to worry about…(*ahem*) just as long as you stick to the terms of your community service and probation!" Twilight reminded.

“Oh, right…” said Dash, landing on all fours, and blushing. Fluttershy landed, too, also blushing.



“Oh, Spike…” Twilight remembered something, “Did you get my dossier?" Twilight ordered next.

“Right here, Twilight.” the little dragon said, handing her the folder---as if from nowhere.

“How does he do that?" Dash asked Fluttershy, but the Kindness Pony just shrugged.

“Umm…what’s a 'dossi-hay?'" Rainbow asked.

“It’s my data file of the next possible candidates I’ll be looking for, to join our support group.” Twilight explained.

“Like who?" Fluttershy asked.

“Well… here, have a look.” Twilight levitated the file and opened it, revealing some files.

Both Pegasi eyed a picture of the first subject; a black & white mouth-sketched head study in pencil
Twilight had drawn from memory.

“Huh? ZECORA?? Wait a minute---she's not evil! We only thought she was, back when she first started showing up in Ponyville…” Dash recalled, remembering their first encounters with the zebra voodoo witch doctor who spoke in rhymes.

“Hohohoho…” Twilight chuckled, “You should’ve heard the tale she told me a while back at her tree hut over tea! Seems she was a wholly terror to other zebras back in her homeland---but, we’ll get her full testimonial next week…”

Next week?” asked Dash, “you mean she was supposed to show up here, tonight?”

“Yep…but she got called away to Baltimare on urgent business. Before leaving, she did sign up, and she promised to come next week, so I guess that’s one I can check off here…” Twilight floated the quill over and checked off Zecora’s file. As she floated the quill back over to Spike, Dash & Fluttershy eyed the second file:

“What!? KING SOMBRA??" Dash interjected, making Fluttershy jump a little.

“But I thought the Crystal Heart destroyed him…” Fluttershy puzzled.

“It stopped his dark magic, yes, but no crystal pony’s ever found a trace of him. He could still be somewhere in the ice caves of the Arctic North! Oh, I’ll need to send off a letter soon to the Crystal Empire, and ask Shining Armor & Cadence if there’ve been any more Sombra sightings lately! Spike, made a note of that…” Twilight explained quickly.

Not about to encourage the Friendship Princess, as Spike scribbled more notes on the outside of the meeting scroll, the two Pegasi eyed the third file:

“(*Gasp*) Oh, no way… CHRYSALIS?? The Bug Queen? You’ve 'gotta be kidding…” Dash scoffed.

“Well…she and the other Changelings were only cast out by the force field blast, when Cadence & Shining Armor combined their powers. Again, no trace of them was ever found. She could still be alive somewhere with or without her hive, and if she’s alone with nopony’s love to feed on, well…worth a shot, right?” Twilight shrugged.

“Hmph, good luck finding that love vampire…” Dash balked. Fluttershy cringed at the thought.

“Well,,,tell you what, Dash: if even so much as one of her Changeling minions shows up around here, I’m going
to have it either brought in for questioning, or tracked back to its source. Sound like a plan?” asked Twilight.

“Or we could just ask it…” Fluttershy suggested, making both Dash & Twilight stare at her, blankly.

“Yeah, whatever…” said Dash dismissively. Then she eyed the fourth file:

“Oh, whoa-whoa, this is getting weirder by the minute… SONATA DUSK!? You ‘wanna reform a SIREN!?"

But…after a pause, Rainbow shook her head, saying: “Uh-uh, nope, on second thought, I don’t ‘wanna know, never mind…”

“M-me neigh-ther…” said Fluttershy, covering her eyes with her hooves.

Twilight stifled a laugh with her hoof, then shuffled the hovering folder to the fifth and last file:

“(*GASP*) WHAT? Oh, no no no, no way…you CAN’T be serious about THIS one! Are 'ya?" Dash reacted,
making Fluttershy nearly dart for cover.

“Yes, I am… STARLIGHT GLIMMER had very good intentions, even though her methods were…a bit extreme.”
Twilight argued.

“ENSLAVING an entire pony village to HER WILL… a BIT EXTREME!??” Dash re-iterated in alarm.

“Nevertheless, Glimmer believes in total equality for all ponies, and I think she’ll make a VERY POWERFUL ALLY to our cause! WHO ELSE do you think would speak the loudest and fight more strongly in the halls of Equestrian justice, for equal opportunity employment rights for ex-evils, than HER?" Twilight argued most adamantly.

Dash could only blink in stunned silence. She had no comeback whatsoever for this one.

“(*Sigh*) Besides, Glimmer might know a thing or two about Equestrian law that I don't.
Could be, she might know a few things that I’ve somehow overlooked…” Twilight continued.

"So could your old Canterlot friend Moondancer..." Dash whinnied under her breath.

Then suddenly Dash straightened up, as if...remembering something.

“SAYYY…” said Dash, placing a hoof on her own chin: “I just remembered something from one of those law books you showed me earlier in the castle library, Twilight!”

“You mean before the meeting? What’s that?”

“Something about…equal opportunity employment is the law, regardless of race, beliefs, species, color, gender, or national origin…”

“Yes, so?”

“…what about negative legal status? Like…being a reformed ex-evil? Doesn’t equal employment mean everyone? Then why doesn’t it say that?"

Twilight stiffened, stunned…wide-eyed.

“Oh, my Celestia…you’re RIGHT, Dash! It’s NOT INCLUDED! There’s NOTHING in the law protecting THAT! So…there’s no prior provision in Equestrian civil rights law, to prevent employers from discriminating against ex-evils, reformed or otherwise!! Now I know we’re going to need Glimmer on our side! One more thing to go down in my next report to Princess Celestia. Rainbow Dash, you’re a GENIUS!!" Twilight pulled Dash into yet another hoof-hug!

“Yeah… I still have my awesome moments!” Dash bragged. Twilight just rolled her eyes, and smiled.

“Need anything else, Twilight?” said Spike.

“Nope, you & Fluttershy go on ahead. We’ll catch up later.” said Twilight, dismissing the two.

As they headed off, Spike said: “Hmm… you know, I bet if I wrote to Garble about this program, he'd ‘wanna join.
And what about your friend: Iron Will?”

“Ooo, that’s right…” Fluttershy agreed: “…his motivational classes could do wonders for the group. Um…just as long as he doesn’t get too aggressive again. Oh, and I'd better remind Babs to pass the word along to Apple Bloom, and see if she & the Cutie Mark Crusaders can get Diamond Tiara to come, too...” They continued chattering on & on about more potential members to recruit, as they headed up to the Dining Room.


It was then that Twilight heard a conspicuous “AH-HEH-HEM!” coming from the shadows. She turned, and saw a figure emerging, slowly clopping toward her. It was a tan stallion with a dark-brown mane, white collar & green bow necktie (bow ties are cool) an hour glass for a cutie mark, and a rather annoyed expression on his face.

"(*Gasp*) OH! Goodness, I didn't see you standing there!" Twilight managed awkwardly.

"Your Highness…” he said expectantly in his refined Gallopfreyan accent (or Trottingham) giving her a sidelong look
and holding out an upturned forehoof.

“Oh, yes, right...sorry to have kept you waiting…” she managed awkwardly again.

Twilight levitated the antique brass & glass timepiece, and returned it to its owner. “Thanks for letting me borrow your hour-glass
for the meeting, Doctor. And on such short notice.”

“You went into overtime, I see…” Doctor Whooves remarked, with a cocked eyebrow and lowered forehead. “Nothing too serious, I trust?” he continued, eyeing Rainbow Dash, who lowered her head and cracked a rakish grin, in silent apology.

Twilight eyed Dash cautiously, then turned back to the Doctor. “Nope! nothing we couldn’t handle!”
She flashed him a SQUEE grin! Then concerned, she frowned and asked: “You weren’t listening in, were you?”

The Doctor looked taken aback, but said: “Oh! Great wickering stallions, no! Not my place to go prying into royal affairs. Although perhaps, when things are a bit quieter…I would like a word with you about that little time-travel spell you found a while back. Just curious, mind you, nothing urgent…”

Then, rather mysteriously, he lean in closer to Twilight, and softly whispered:
"...Expect Changeling minon sightings early this summer. I'll explain later."

Twilight could only furrow her brow, having no clue what the Doctor meant.

Nor had Dash, who was evidently out of earshot.

Well, the ‘time has come’ for me to bid good evening to you both.” said the Doctor, bowing graciously.

“Good evening to you, too, Doctor.” said Twilight, as she and Dash gave curt nods in turn.

And taking up the hour-glass by its small hinged metal half-ring top-handle with his teeth, the Time Pony started trotting away.


Wait... Mister Doctor, Sir…?” Dash beckoned.

The Time Pony stopped, turned around and waited. “Hmm?” he uttered curiously, his ears pricked forward, his teeth still closed over the curved handle. Twilight had already gone on up the stairwell to join the post-meeting banquet.

“I just ‘gotta ask…if it’s not too personal or anything…” asked Dash in more of a Fluttershy moment, and soft voice: “…do you think there’s any hope at all in this world for…well… us ‘ex-evils’…to be accepted by employers, and the rest of society…as equals?"

The Doctor paused, thinking… then he blinked, raising his eyebrows. Calmly, he placed the hour glass down on the floor, released the handle from his mouth, and thoughtfully rubbed his chin with his other forehoof. He then quickly started his own bit of pace-trotting back and forth, wrinkling his muzzle and twitching his mouth in concentrated thought, as if trying to remember something… “Hmmm… I used to have a saying for this, now what was it? Think-think-think..."

Then he stopped. He had it. He looked back at Rainbow Dash, softened his face, and drew his mouth up into a slight smile.
Coolly, calmly, he walked back up to her, gently placed a hoof on her shoulder, and began speaking in a soft, hushed tone:

“Miss Rainbow Dash… I just want to know…I think you are a good pony. You’ve done some bad things,
yes, and now you’re making amends for them…but deep down…you are good.”

Now Dash's face softened, with a slight smile, and the Doctor drew her into a warm, soothing hug.

“I remember what the saying was now…” he continued, whispering softly into Dash’s ear: “…I told this to another close friend of mine sometime back, when she needed so desperately to hear it… now I pass it on to you, Miss Dash… 'The way I see it, every life, whatever species, is a hay pile of good things and bad things. The good things...don't always soften or stomp out the bad things...but likewise, the bad things don't necessarily spoil or trample out the good things...or make them unimportant.'"

Upon hearing this, poor Dash seemed to melt into the good Doctor’s tender embrace…and weep.

"(*Sniff*) Thanks, Doctor…that’s the…nicest thing anypony's ever said to me...(*Sob*)" she said.

But then she paused, and withdrew, staring the Doctor in the face.

“…But it doesn’t make one lick of horse sense to me at all! And it doesn't really answer my question.”

At this, the Doctor blushed, his ears drooped, and he SQUEE-grinned awkwardly.


“Okay, um…let me put it this way…” he started again: “…it means that, whatever we say or do throughout our lives, good or bad… we are the end product of every single choice we make. But…for as long as we’re still alive, in this life…” here he paused, carefully choosing his next words, then continued. “…that end product…is not yet permanent. Only after we’re dead and gone does our condition finally become permanent, in the annals of history. Only then, is it truly too late to change…”

“But while we’re still alive..” he went on, “…there’s still time. Life changes constantly, and so must we. We learn from our past mistakes, apply those lessons to our present, and in doing so…change for the better, and continue doing so, well into our future. This is true for employers, as well as employees and job candidates. And so long as that remains true, there’s always hope. Our past does not define us. Our future does not define us. Only our present, here and now… is what defines us. Defines you, Miss Dash. And here and now…YOU... ARE... GOOD."


And Rainbow Dash…upon hearing this new answer… hung her head, blushed… and grinned.

“Okay…That's what I needed to hear. That answers my question.” she confirmed. “Thanks, Doctor.”

They each grinned, and shared a hoof-bump. “Any time, Miss Dash. Any time.” he said.



At last, the Doctor took up the hour glass again, and took his leave of the Castle of Friendship.

Rainbow Dash watched him as he left.




"Awesome..." she said, in a soft whisper.










T H E E N D