'As you can imagine, Caboose was not taking the new regime well at all. Fletcher's training methods, while effective, were tasking, and Caboose was struggling to keep up, which earned ever more disapproval from the new Captain. Things were only getting worse, which you shall see as we move onto our next chapter:'
Chapter Seventeen: Changing Of The Guard (Part Two)
The Royal Guard were gathered in the courtyard for practice. Fletcher had made it a requirement that they all learn how to use a bow (as that was his weapon of choice), which was understandably a problem for Caboose, who was more of a crossbow kind of pony.
"Come on, Lieutenant." Fletcher growled, as Caboose fumbled with the arrow. "It's not that difficult."
"Why are we doing this again?" Caboose asked, struggling to pull the bow. "I can do pretty much the same thing with a crossbow."
"That may be, but it doesn't hurt to expand your skill regarding weapons." Fletcher declared. "Besides, the bow and arrow are fine weapons, from a more elegant, civilized age."
As Caboose drew back the bow, his grip slipped, and the arrow soared wildly into the air.
"...Though I suppose elegance isn't really in your comfort zone." Fletcher said drily. "Keep at it."
Caboose grumbled to himself as he went to retrieve his arrow.
"Keep at it..." He muttered. "More like I'll keep... at... I got nothin'."
Caboose's resentment of Fletcher increased by the day. Everypony but him seemed to admire Fletcher. And it wasn't just his skills that were being admired. Caboose had noticed that wherever Fletcher went, his boyish good looks made him the interest of many mares...
"Hello, Captain Fletcher." A maid fawned over him. "Lovely day, isn't it?"
"It certainly is." Fletcher nodded, oblivious to the flirty look she gave him.
"Oh, Captain Fletcher, you are such a wonder." One of the female kitchen staff cooed.
"Well now, I wouldn't say 'wonder'..." Fletcher said humbly. "I do my job."
"And you do it so well..." A lady scribe swooned.
"Thank you." Fletcher smiled. "I do prefer to keep up the image of the Royal Guard."
"And what an image it is..." She sighed.
"Yes, it is." Fletcher nodded, the compliment going right over his head.
"Fletcher, have my foals!" One particularly lovestruck mare shrieked.
"I'm sorry, I don't do foalsitting." Fletcher apologised, oblivious.
The rest of the female staff gave him much the same treatment, but he seemed utterly ignorant of their attention. Even the royal females of the castle were entranced by him.
One morning, Fletcher was leading the Guards on the exercise grounds, with all the Princesses watching.
"My, what a... well-built stallion." Luna declared.
"No kidding..." Constell gaped.
"And I thought Blue was athletic..." Mist sighed, her pregnant belly practically scraping the floor as she kneeled down for a closer look.
"I knew choosing Ulysses to be the new Captain was a wise choice." Celestia smiled. "But I didn't know it would pay such... unexpected dividends..."
"Aw, yeah." Constell chuckled. "Just look at him out there, workin' those 'dividends'..."
"And working them well..." Mist smirked.
"What's going on out here?" Shine asked, as he, Blue, Luxury and Gothic emerged onto the balcony.
"Oh, we were just... observing the Royal Guards' exercise routine." Celestia said nervously.
"Yes, Captain Ulysses has really whipped them into shape, hasn't he?" Luna chuckled.
"I still don't get why you hired that guy, cherryblossom." Shine frowned. "I mean, he's a little young to be a Captain, isn't he?"
"What's age got to do with it?" Mist asked. "Besides, a young Captain can get more done than an old one..."
"Iron may have been getting on in years, but he was a great Captain." Gothic declared. "He really knew how to connect with the troops. This guy's a little too... professional for my tastes."
"Not to mention he doesn't really have the 'look' for a captain." Luxury added.
"Yeah, that's a face that says 'male model' more than 'Captain'." Blue declared.
"He was brought here to do a job, and that's what he's doing." Celestia declared. "And doing well, I must say..."
"Well, I have heard only good things from the other Guards." Shine admitted.
"And he did come highly recommended." Gothic mused.
"They say he was the best at the Norhay academy." Blue recalled. "I guess if anypony had to replace Iron Hooves, he's better than nothing."
"And he is very good-looking." Luxury remarked. The other males glared at him. "Well, he is! No harm in stating the truth, is there?"
"I worry about you sometimes, Lux." Constell confessed.
Meanwhile, Hurricane had been working overtime to impress Fletcher. Ever since she laid her eyes on the handsome stallion, she knew that the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him. While she already had great marks in the program already, she aimed to do even better.
At one point, on a break day, she brought Glinda and Strut Step to the castle (both of whom were visiting their coltfriends Vito and Pureblood), and they (along with an unimpressed Miracle) spied on Fletcher during one of his workout sessions (sans armor).
"This way." Hurricane whispered, leading them behind a bush.
"Why are we doing this, again?" Strut asked. "I just had my mane done, and I doubt going through a bush will do much for it."
"Trust me." Hurricane chuckled.
"About what?" Glinda asked.
"You'll see." Hurricane smirked.
"I'm sure we will." Miracle rolled her eyes.
"I'm so glad you talked me into this." Strut scowled, as a leave got caught in her mane. "It had better be worth it, or you're getting my mane bill..."
“Girls, allow me to introduce you to possibly the hottest stallion alive.” Hurricane gestured from their hiding spot.
The girls peered through a gap in the bush. Fletcher was in the middle of some push-ups, sweat pouring off his well toned body.
"Wow..." Strut Step gaped. "What a body. And coming from a professional model, that's saying something..."
"That's the new Captain of the Guard?" Glinda drooled. "Sign me up..."
“I told you so.” Hurricane smirked.
“Is that seriously how they make stallions in Norhay?” Strut asked, stupefied.
“Yeah. You would be lucky to get a changeling as good looking as that masterpiece in our battalion.” Glinda mused.
"Well, I don't get why you girls are going gaga over him." Miracle frowned, as she glanced at Strut and Glinda. “And shame on you two. What would Pureblood and Vito say if they see you eyeing this stallion?”
"...I guess V wouldn't like it at all." Glinda admitted guiltily.
"Neither would Pure..." Strut sighed.
“Lay off them, Mir.” Hurricane scolded. “You can’t blame them for enjoying the view.”
“Well, that’s just it. What’s so appealing?" Miracle asked. "He’s too old for any of us, and it's a little unseemly to be crushing on somepony so much older than you...”
“Uh-huh.” Hurricane deadpanned, as she then asked. “"Hey, is that Spike?"
"Spike?! Where, where?!" Miracle's face lit up as she looked around. The others laughed at her. "Very funny..."
"Hey, you try to scold us for spying on a hot guy, you get flak for pining after a twenty year old dragon. Don't be a hypocrite, Mir." Hurricane snorted.
"I'm not a hypocrite!" Miracle yelled, seconds before the others covered her mouth.
Fletcher halted his workout, turning towards the hedge. He glanced at it for a moment.
"Eh, probably just a bird." He shrugged, returning to his workout.
"Good job, Mir." Hurricane growled. "Almost ruined the show."
"You don't have to worry about that, because I'm outta here." Miracle frowned.
Miracle left, while the others continued ogling Fletcher.
To Caboose's dismay, Hurricane had become practically obsessed with Fletcher, who had seen fit to regularly train the Junior Guardsponies. Caboose had dropped in one of those sessions, and was greatly worried by how things were shaping up.
"Very impressive." Fletcher declared, as Hurricane shot an arrow a millimetre away from the bullseye.
"Thanks..." Hurricane blushed. "I've been practicing."
"You know, I was quite surprised when I saw your name on the roster and realized you were related to the Lieutenant." Fletcher smiled. "No offense, but your father can be..." He fished around his mind, looking for the nicest way to describe his opinion of Caboose. "...Eccentric at times."
"Yeah, he can be a little kooky sometimes." Hurricane admitted. "But he's a really great guy, don't you think?"
"I've... never met anypony quite like him." Fletcher declared, wanting to spare Hurricane's feelings. "And I've never known a recruit with such raw talent as you. Take it from a stallion who graduated at the top of his class, this is something you see in the higher class. Keep up the good work, and you'll probably become a real Royal Guard before you even know it."
"Oh, I will." Hurricane grinned. "You can count on me, Captain Ulysses.
"That's the kind of attitude I like to hear." Fletcher smirked, before attending to some other trainees.
"Did you hear that?" Hurricane sighed to Gauntlet, who was firing arrows next to her. "He thinks I'm impressive..."
"I heard." Gauntlet said bluntly. "So, er, you wanna grab a smoothie later? My treat."
"Yeah, sure." Hurricane shrugged, as she returned to target practice. "But later. Right now, I have improvements to make. Don't want to let the Captain down, you know?"
"Yeah, we wouldn't want that..." Gauntlet said sourly.
Unfortunately, Hurricane’s new devotion to bettering herself had left little time for her to spend with Gauntlet outside of the program. She would be late for dates (those that she hadn't declined in favour of training, that is), and Gauntlet was often forced to listen to her fangirling over Fletcher, completely unaware of how jealous it made him feel.
Caboose frowned from behind his hiding place. He didn't want Hurricane or Fletcher to know he was watching them. He knew Hurricane would rail at him for being overprotective, and Fletcher would probably bring him up on the charge of "spying on a superior officer."
"I don't believe this." He growled.
Caboose was especially annoyed at how Fletcher was being hero-worshipped by Hurricane. He toyed with the idea of telling her what kind of jerk Fletcher truly was, but he could never bring himself to discourage her like that. That, and it could end up making Hurricane resent him for trying to badmouth her ‘hero’. So he had no choice but to stand aside and watch as she continued fawning over him.
At Blazin' Blue's, Caboose was venting to Vinny, Sonny and Lars.
"Hurricane's practically bowing at Fletcher's hooves!" He yelled. "The guy's a jerk, yet everypony's treating him like he's Faust's gift to Royal Guarding!"
"That's rough, bro." Vinny sympathized.
"I know full well what it's like to have a more athletic, physically skilled stallion steal the spotlight." Lars growled.
"You and me both, bro." Sonny declared.
“It’s like nothing I seen before. Everywhere he goes, ponies practically worship at his hooves. All the other Guards think he's the best thing that's ever happened to the troop, and all the mares in the castle are drooling all over him! Even the princesses are fantasizing about this guy porking them. And we all know Shine is obviously hotter than him!”
The brothers looked at him in silence.
“I mean…” Caboose realized what he said. “He's more of a stallion than him.”
“Well, what can you do, ‘Boose?” Sonny shrugged. “The guy obviously got ‘it’.”
"Well, I'm not going to stand for this." Caboose snarled. "Time to find out just how 'perfect' Mr. Perfect really is..."
"Meaning?" Lars asked.
"Meaning I want you guys to go dig up some dirt on him." Caboose declared. "School records, criminal activity, ...if he so much as returned a library book late, I wanna know about it."
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Vinny held up his hooves. “I get it that you don’t like the guy and everything, but isn’t this a little extreme?”
“Yes.” Lars agreed. “From what I've heard, he's quite revered by everypony.”
“Exactly.” Sonny also agreed. “Surely you and Fletcher might be able to work something out if you only-”
At that point, Bon-Bon, Berry Punch, and Lyra entered the bar. They didn't notice the brothers, who sitting in a booth near the back.
"Did you see that new Captain?" Lyra asked. "What a hunk!"
"I'll say." Bon-Bon grinned. "He's yummier than a chocolate and honey parfait..."
"If he were a vintage wine, I'd drink him in one go..." Berry licked her lips.
The three brothers went mute with glares.
“This sonofvamule is going the buck down.” Vinny snarled.
"Without a doubt." Lars agreed.
"That is a stallion who needs to be taken down a peg or two." Sonny scowled.
A few days later, after reaching out to their contacts in Norhay who gathered and collated the necessary information for them, Vinny, Lars, and Sonny came to Caboose back at the bar with a file.
“So, you got something for me?” Caboose smiled.
“Well... you could say that.” Lars shrugged as he set down a file for him, the name ‘Ulysses, Fletcher’ written on it.
Caboose quickly and eagerly open it, hoping to finally have some satisfaction that the stallion that was ruining his life was any more of a stallion than he was…
Unfortunately, the file was empty.
"...There's nothing here." Caboose frowned.
"Exactly." Vinny nodded.
"What do you mean?" Caboose asked.
"He means that Fletcher is clean." Lars declared. "We couldn't find one speck of dirt on his record."
"No tax fraud, no petty stealing, no going joyriding with the academy carriages,... not so much as a late library book." Sonny announced.
"No, that can't be!" Caboose shook his head. "I mean, with all the attention the ladies are giving him, surely he must have made some husband mad!"
"'Fraid not." Sonny shrugged. "Either he's gay, or women doesn't interest him."
"Unbelievable!" Caboose groaned. "The guy's so perfect at everything! It's like he's some kind of... super-stallion!"
"Nopony's perfect." Vinny assured him. "I'll bet he's got some kind of shortcoming. Maybe in the physical department, if you catch my drift..." He smirked, pointing to his nether regions.
"Wait, you mean..." Caboose was puzzled for a moment, then realized what Vinny was getting at. "Oh! Oh!"
"Yep." Vinny grinned. "A little somethin' to look into."
"You want him to look at it?!" Sonny grimaced.
"Do you have any idea how many shades of wrong that is?" Lars frowned.
"It was just a suggestion." Vinny shrugged.
"Well, I'm not taking it." Caboose declared. "No way I'm looking at another stallion's ding-dong..."
"Suit yourself." Vinny shrugged.
"Either way, I guess you're just gonna have to lump it, 'Boose." Sonny sighed.
"There are always stallions out there who make the rest of us look mediocre in comparison." Lars declared. "It's just the way of things. Always somepony better, and all that."
"Gee, thanks, guys." Caboose frowned. "You really know how to make a stallion feel better."
The next days, the guards were in the showers, as Fletcher was whistling and scrubbing his mane under a steady stream of water... while Caboose was busy occupying the shower head next to him. Despite what he had said to Vinny, Caboose was struggling to fight the urge to look. His desire to find out something, anything Fletcher was lacking in quickly overrode his common sense. He peeked over at Fletcher, and... looked down at his groin, only for the sight to make him turn away and snarl in frustration.
"Oh buckin' Tartarus, are you serious?!" He griped.
"...What?" Fletcher glanced at him.
"Uh... um... I was just... making sure you're cleaning all over!" Caboose lied. "Yeah, there's nothing better than being spotless down below!"
"Thank you for the concern, Lieutenant." Fletcher said flatly. "But I could do without the inspection."
"Oh, sure." Caboose grinned. "No problem! Just looking out for my favorite Captain!"
"Of course..." Fletcher frowned, understandably disturbed.
Fletcher finished cleaning himself and walked out of the room.
"Geez." Caboose shook his head. "It's like nopony's ever looked at his winky before..."
A few days later, Caboose once again found himself paired up with Fletcher, this time as they patrolled the streets of Canterlot.
"Hi!" Caboose waved to ponies he knew. "Hello!"
"Lieutenant, please remain professional." Fletcher rolled his eyes. "We're here to protect the citizens of Canterlot, not socialize with them."
"Can't we do both?" Caboose asked.
"Not on my watch." Fletcher said sourly. "Now keep your eyes peeled. Trouble could arise at any moment..."
"Help! Thief!" A random mare yelled.
"How's that for timing?" Caboose smirked.
A skinny gray Earth Pony stallion with a black mane and matching overcoat raced down the streets, carrying a can.
"Stop!" Fletcher yelled as he and Caboose gave chase. "In the name of the Royal Guard!"
The thief kept running.
"I don't think he heard you." Caboose joked.
"This is not the time for jokes, Lieutenant!" Fletcher snarled. "Focus on the suspect!"
The thief barrelled through the streets, Caboose and Fletcher hot on his heels. The thief suddenly turned into an alleyway beside a small abandoned outlet store.
"Keep on him!" Fletcher ordered.
"I got a better idea." Caboose declared.
Taking a deep breath, Caboose leapt through the window of the old store, shattering it.
"What are you-Lieutenant!" Fletcher roared. "You're breaking protocol! Get back in line!"
Caboose ignored Fletcher's commands as he headed to the back of the store. He knew the layout of Canterlot quite well, and that the alleyway would led the thief to the rear of the store. As he kicked down the back door, he came face-to-face with the thief.
"Hi." He smirked.
The thief was shocked for a moment, then tensed up and jumped right over Caboose.
"Whoa." Caboose gaped, as he followed. "What is he, part grasshopper?"
The thief raced down the back streets of Canterlot, heading for a small shack. As he neared it, an explosion suddenly erupted beside him.
"What the-?!" He yelped, turning to see Caboose pointing a cannon. "Where did that come from?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Caboose grinned. "Now, stay put."
The thief tried to run again, but Caboose blasted the ground a few feet from him.
"Do we have a listening problem?" Caboose asked.
"Lieutenant!" Fletcher yelled, finally catching up. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What's it look like?" Caboose smirked. "Collaring the perp."
"While causing untold amounts of collateral damage." Fletcher scowled. "...And using a cannon is a gross overreaction."
"It got results, didn't it?" Caboose asked.
"It's not just results that matter." Fletcher growled. "It's performance. As a Royal Guard, you have a duty to not only follow the code of the law, but ensure that Canterlot is safe and protected."
"That's what I do." Caboose retorted.
"Oh, really?" Fletcher snorted. "And how does breaking into building and firing a cannon necessitate keeping Canterlot safe?"
"That building was empty." Caboose declared. "And I was only firing warning shots. What's the problem?"
"The problem is that, yet again, you are showing a flagrant disregard for conduct becoming a Royal Guard." Fletcher snarled.
"Oh, this again?" Caboose growled. "My 'conduct' is just fine. And I got the thief, which is more than you can say."
"By completely flying in the face of the regs!" Fletcher yelled.
"I don't fly!" Caboose spluttered. "I run!"
"That's not what I meant, you- wait!" Fletcher yelled, realizing the thief was taking advantage of their argument to try and get away. "He's making a run for it!"
"I'm on it." Caboose readied the cannon.
"No!" Fletcher knocked over the cannon. "We do this by the book! Come on!"
"Fine." Caboose grumbled, as he and Fletcher chased the thief.
The thief reached the shack, opening the door... then was grabbed by Fletcher.
"Gotcha!" Fletcher smirked, pulling the thief out. "You see, Lieutenant? This is how you catch a thief!"
"Yeah, yeah..." Caboose muttered.
"No!" The thief yelled. "You don't understand!"
"I understand that you broke the law." Fletcher growled. "And now it's time to take you in."
"Please, don't!" A voice from inside the shack called.
Caboose and Fletcher peered inside, finding a dishevelled mare, holding a young foal. The shack had clearly been done up to look like a home; a ragged mattress lay on one side, while an old cot sat on the other.
"What the..." Fletcher frowned.
At that moment, the can the thief had stolen dropped to the ground. It was a can of asparagus soup.
"Don't take my husband from me." The mare begged. "Not from our foal."
"Please." The thief begged. "I was only trying to feed my family."
"I don't care what you were trying to do." Fletcher said coldly. "Stealing is against the law, and you have to answer for it."
"Hold up a second." Caboose frowned. "Aren't you being a little... mean?"
"Mean?" Fletcher asked.
"The guy's not some criminal mastermind." Caboose declared. "He was just getting some food for his starving family. I say we let him go."
"Excuse me?" Fletcher growled. "Mastermind or not, he's still a criminal!"
"But he had a good reason to do it." Caboose pointed out. "Besides, we can't take him from his family."
"That's exactly what we're going to do." Fletcher shot back. "Good intentions or no, he still broke the law."
"Aw come on, have a heart." Caboose urged. "Can't we just forget we saw any of this and leave them be?"
"Are you suggesting that we, a pair of Royal Guards, overlook a felony?" Fletcher asked, a dangerous gleam in his eyes.
"Not exactly." Caboose shrugged. "More like... let it slip through the cracks."
"The law says we have to take him in!" Fletcher yelled.
"I know what the law says we would should do." Caboose retorted. "But sometimes, the law's just a piece of paper. There's right, and there's wrong, and in the middle, there's life. That's all they're trying to do: Live, and we have no right to prevent that."
Fletcher was silent for a moment. Then...
"A stirring speech, Lieutenant." He admitted. "But you're wrong. The law isn't just a piece of paper. It's a way of life. My way of life. All Royal Guards' way of life. Don't get me wrong, I feel for those ponies' situation, I really do. But we can't just pick and choose which parts of the law we follow, otherwise we'd be no better than common criminals. We must uphold the law, with no exceptions. We're taking him in."
"No, don't!" The stallion cried.
"Please stop!" The mare begged, as the foal started crying.
"You can't do that!" Caboose yelled horrified. "What's that poor mare supposed to do without her husband? And the foal..."
"There's a mare's shelter, barely two blocks from here." Fletcher pointed out. "I daresay it'll be better for them than this hovel."
"But her husband-" Caboose started.
"Will serve his time." Fletcher remarked. "It's only petty theft, so he'll probably just get a month or so. Hopefully, it'll be enough for him to learn his lesson."
"You can't do this!" Caboose yelled, as he picked up the stolen can, “Not over a can of soup that’s only…” He glances at the price of the soup, “Whoa, twelve bits? Men, they overcharge for this stuff.”
"Actually, I can." Fletcher retorted. "It is my duty as a Royal Guard."
Caboose was so outraged, he didn't even laugh at the word "duty."
"Yeah? Well, your duty stinks!" He yelled. "And so do you, you rotten-"
"Watch your tone, Lieutenant." Fletcher glared. "I'm still your commanding officer. If you have a problem with the way I do things, you had best keep it to yourself, because you are dangerously close to working my last nerve. Any more defiance will result in your immediate suspension. Understand?"
"...Yes, sir." Caboose growled.
"Good." Fletcher nodded. "Now, I'll take our thief down to the precinct, while you escort this poor mare to the shelter."
Fletcher dragged away the stallion.
"Please, I'm begging you!" The stallion yelled, struggling to break free.
"If you don't stop struggling, I'll add 'resisting arrest to your list of crimes." Fletcher threatened. "And you'll be put away for even longer."
Defeated, the stallion gave in, letting himself be taken away. The mare broke down into tears, embracing her similarly-distraught foal. Caboose, heartbroken himself, comforted her.
"I'm sorry." He sighed. "I'm so, so sorry..."
That wasn't strictly speaking true; Sorrow was just a part of what Caboose was feeling at the moment. He was also feeling a great surge of anger towards Fletcher.
That evening, he unloaded his problems onto Daring, telling her everything.
"He just took that poor guy in!" He yelled. "Took him away from his family, just like that! It was one of the worst things I've ever seen! And I've watched 'The Equine Centipede'!"
"That does sound pretty heartless." Daring admitted. "But he was right about having to uphold the law."
"You're taking his side?!" Caboose spluttered.
"Of course not." Daring assured. "I'm just trying to point out how he probably saw it."
"The poor mare was crying all the way to the shelter." Caboose growled. "It was one of the worst experiences of my life. And you know that's saying something..."
"Oh, honey..." Daring hugged her husband, trying to comfort her.
Caboose looked around.
"Where's Hurricane?" He asked.
"Still training, if you can believe it." Daring declared.
"And I know why." Caboose growled. "She wants to impress that muleface, Fletcher. She actually admires the jerk! If only she knew what he was really like..."
"It's important for a filly to have a role model." Daring pointed out.
"And until a while ago, that role model was me." Caboose sighed. "It feels like Fletcher is ruining everything I care about..."
Daring continued to comfort her husband, wanting more than anything to lift him out of his funk. Alas, no magic solution came to mind.
The next morning, while talking with Dove, Daring shared her concerns.
"My husband's having a really hard time right now." She revealed. "There's this other stallion at work, and from what I hear, he's really sticking it to him."
"I feel you, sister." Dove sighed. "My fiancé keeps complaining about some stallion who keeps getting out of line with him. It's totally stressing him out."
"Poor guy." Daring sighed. "Must be some real pig-headed jerk doing all that."
"That's what I'm told." Dove sighed. "But let's not get bogged down with stuff like that. How would you and your family like to come to dinner tonight? I know my amour would just love to meet you all."
"And I know my family would love to meet him." Daring smiled. "Let's do it."
"Great." Dove smiled. "Drop by around six."
"It's a date!" Daring grinned.
Later that night, the family came over to Dove's house; a small cottage on the outskirts of Canterlot. Alas, only Daring and Michael were happy to be there. Caboose was still a little sullen over Fletcher, and Hurricane had grudgingly come, much preferring to work on one of her training regiments more.
"Come on, you two." Daring told her husband and daughter. "Cheer up! We're going to dinner, not a funeral!"
"Sorry, honey." Caboose sighed. "I'm just... not in a dinnery mood tonight."
"And I've got better things to do than make nice with some stranger." Hurricane pouted.
"Not tonight, you don't." Daring said sternly. "We are going to have dinner with Dove and her fiancé." Her face brightened. "You're gonna love Dove, trust me."
"Yeah!" Michael cheered. "Dove nice!"
"Well, I guess if Mikey says it, it must be true." Hurricane admitted.
"Okay, let's get this over with." Caboose sighed.
"Love the enthusiasm." Daring said sarcastically.
Daring knocked on the front door, and Dove answered it.
"Hey!" Dove smiled. "So nice to have you here!"
"Hi, hi!" Michael cheered.
"Hi there, Michael." Dove tousled Michael's mane. "Is it just me, or have you gotten even cuter since last time?"
"Maybe..." Michael giggled.
"Dove, this is my husband Caboose, and my daughter, Hurricane." Daring declared.
"Nice to meet you." Dove smiled.
"And you." Caboose nodded. "Daring's told me a lot about you."
"And she's told me a lot about all of you." Dove replied. "Hurricane, you have the loveliest wings!"
"I do?" Hurricane asked, spreading them.
"You certainly do." Dove admired them. "I know some birds who'd kill to have wings that good."
"Oh, thanks." Hurricane smiled proudly.
"Now, that's enough standing on the porch." Dove smiled. "Let's all head inside."
Caboose's family entered the house. It was a simplistic place, with rustic decor, and a few mementos of Dove's stage career.
"So, where's that fiancé of yours?" Daring asked.
"Oh, he's just putting the finishing touches on sprucing himself up." Dove declared. "Between you and me, he's kind of a perfectionist..."
"I know a pony like that..." Caboose muttered, before feeling a pressure in his lower body. "...Can I use the bathroom, please?"
"Sure." Dove nodded. "Upstairs, second door on the right."
"Thanks." Caboose rushed up the stairs.
Finding the bathroom, Caboose entered to find somepony was using the shower. Figuring it would be too loud for him to be heard, he made full use of the facilities.
"Ahhh, that's the stuff..." He sighed.
Just as Caboose was finishing up, the shower was turned off. Caboose tensed up, as the shower curtain was pulled back to reveal... Fletcher.
"Ah!" They both yelped.
"Fletcher?!" Caboose gasped. "What are you doing here?!"
"What I am doing here?! What are you doing here?!" Fletcher frowned.
"I was invited here! What's your excuse?!" Caboose retorted.
"...I live here!" Fletcher yelled.
"...Wait, you're Dove's fiancé?" Caboose asked.
"Dove?" Fletcher frowned. "Oh, don't tell me it's your family she invited to dinner."
"That's right." Caboose nodded. "Got a problem?"
"We'll see." Fletcher frowned. "Now kindly leave the room. I need to dry off."
"You don't have to tell me twice." Caboose slipped out of the room.
Upon his descent, Caboose rushed over to Daring.
"Maybe we should, er, leave." He whispered.
"But we only just got here." Daring frowned. "I know you don't want to be here-"
"You have no idea." Caboose frowned.
"But we're staying." Daring declared. "A couple of hours here won't kill you."
"We'll see..." Caboose cringed.
After drying off, Fletcher rushed downstairs. As he entered the living room, Hurricane froze up, shocked.
"At last." Dove smiled. "Everypony, this is my fiancé, Fletcher."
"Dove... dear...” Fletcher ignored her greeting, as he pointed at Caboose. “Mind telling me why you invite him here?"
"You know Caboose?" Dove frowned.
"Of course I know him." Fletcher growled. "I am the Captain of the Royal Guard, after all. And he is the lieutenant!"
Dove looked at Caboose in disbelief.
"...This is the guy you been complaining about?" She asked Fletcher. “The incompetent, disobedient joke of a Guard?”
Daring looked at Fletcher.
"This is the guy you've been having problems with?" She asked Caboose. “The smug, hard-nosed, tyrannical jerk?”
“He said what about me?” Fletcher and Caboose glared at each other.
"Mom!" Hurricane yelped. "Why did you not tell me we were visiting Captain Fletcher's house?"
“Well, this is a surprise.” Daring admitted, as she turned to Dove. “I had no idea our husbands knew each other.”
"Me neither." Dove frowned. "In retrospect, I think maybe we should have actually referred to them by name before now. This would've gone a lot more smoothly... Anyway, Fletchy, this is my new friend Daring..."
"Hello." Daring said in greeting.
"Nice to meet you." Fletcher said curtly.
"Little Michael..." Dove said fondly.
"Hi, Mr Captain!" Michael waved.
"Hello, little one." Fletcher declared.
Dove turned to Hurricane.
"And this is-" She started.
"Oh, I know Hurricane.” Fletcher nodded, smiling for a bit, “Hello, Hurricane, nice to see you.”
"Thanks!" Hurricane squeaked, before covering her mouth.
"Is there something wrong with your voice?" Fletcher asked, concerned.
"Nope!" Hurricane shook her head, her voice only an octave higher that time.
"Good." Fletcher smiled. "I'd hate to lose one of our most promising Junior Guardsponies to illness."
"...Shall we move on to dinner?" Dove asked.
"Dinner? With him?" Fletcher frowned, glaring at Caboose quickly as he turned to his fiancé, "Dove, you cannot be serious.”
"For once, we agree." Caboose rolled his eyes.
"Fletcher, I worked really hard on this dinner." Dove declared.
"And Dove is my friend." Daring added. "Mikey's too."
"Yeah!" Michael nodded.
"And we're all having dinner together." Dove declared. "Any questions?"
"...No, dear." Fletcher sighed.
"Caboose?" Daring glared.
"Okay." Caboose sighed.
They all took their places at the dinner table, where plates full of artichoke salad and rhubarb stew were waiting to be eaten.. It was mostly a tense affair, Caboose and Fletcher staring daggers at each other the whole time. Hurricane wasn't speaking much, for fear of letting lot a fangirl scream over actually sharing a dinner with Fletcher.
Daring and Dove shared a glance and a nod as they tried to break the ice.
"So... Caboose, Daring tells me you like to play hoofball on your days off?" Dove asked.
"Yeah, that's right." Caboose shrugged.
"Fletchy's kind of a hoofball fan himself." Dove continued. "Guess you two have something in common, huh?"
"I doubt Napoleon is a serious fan." Fletcher declared. "He's probably only in it for the action."
"And what if I am?" Caboose growled.
"There's more to the game than that." Fletcher declared. "There's strategies, manoeuvres, all sorts of plays... it's actually quite cerebral."
"I never looked at it that way before." Hurricane smiled adoringly. "You're so smart, Captain..."
"Yeah, right." Caboose said contemptuously. "You just don't get it. Then again, why am I surprised? With that stick up your butt, you can't really enjoy anything."
"I'd rather have a stick up my butt than rocks in my head." Fletcher snorted.
"You callin' me stupid?" Caboose growled.
"And what if I am?" Fletcher challenged.
"Fletchy, don't make a scene." Dove growled.
"You too, Caboose." Daring added.
The two stallions fell silent.
At that moment, Michael used his magic to lift over a piece of artichoke that had rolled away from him.
"Michael, could you please not use magic at the table?" He asked.
"Why?" Michael asked.
"Yeah, why?" Caboose glared.
"Dove doesn't really like Unicorn magic." Fletcher answered. "It kind of... bothers her."
"Say what?" Caboose frowned. "She's a Unicorn! Magic's what she's all about, and she doesn't like it? Sounds kind of crazy, if you ask me..."
"Don't you talk about my fiancée like that!" Fletcher yelled.
"Fletcher, it's okay." Dove declared. "Michael's just a foal. He doesn't know any better."
"But Napoleon just-" Fletcher protested.
"Let it go, dear." Dove told him.
"...Fine." Fletcher huffed.
Caboose briefly donned a smile of triumph, which was quelched when Daring glared at him.
As the silence between Caboose and Fletcher returned (but not without them glaring even sharper daggers at each other), Daring and Dove decided to take matters into their own hooves.
"Excuse us." They said in unison, dragging their husbands to different room.
"Where they going?" Michael asked.
"Beats me." Hurricane cast a longing look in Fletcher's direction. "I just hope they won't be gone long..."
In the living room, Daring rounded on Caboose.
"Caboose, that's enough." Daring growled.
“What? It’s crazy how Dove detests Unicorn magic when she is a Unicorn!” Caboose protested. “That’s like a zebra that hates rhyming!”
“First off, Caboose, there are zebras who had forsaken their native language.” Daring clarified. “And secondly, this is not about Dove. It’s about you and this petty rivalry you have going with Fletcher.”
"But honey-" Caboose whined.
"Don't 'but honey' me." Daring snarled. "I get that Fletcher isn't your favorite stallion, but Dove is really great friend to me. And I don't her dinner ruined because you have a grudge against her fiancé."
"But he's a jerk!" Caboose yelled, “Telling my boy not to use what Faust gave him. Just because he has actual training, and a whole bund of commendations, recommendations, and tons of other 'ations", and has a slightly bigger ding-a-ling than me doesn’t mean he can just push me around! I’m a Faust-damn Napoleon for crying out loud!”
“...When the buck did you look at his junk?” Daring gaped... before shaking her head. “Never mind, I don’t wanna know. Either way, you have to suck it up!”
“Why do I have to suck it up for that jarhead?” Caboose pouted.
"Because the fiancée of that jarhead is my friend." Daring retorted. "And if you ruin this night for her, you're sleeping on the couch. Got it, mister?"
"...Yes, dear." Caboose sighed.
"Good." Daring nuzzled him.
Meanwhile, Dove and Fletcher were having a similar argument.
"I still can't believe that defiant, sloppy degenerate is in my house." Fletcher growled, “Eating off our plates and sitting in one of our best chairs...”
"Well he is." Dove declared. "Meaning he's our guest. And I expect you to treat him as such."
"But that stallion is a menace." Fletcher huffed. “He used a cannon for firing ‘warning shots’! What kind of madpony would use a cannon for that?”
"I'll admit, it seems a little extreme." Dove declared. "But he must be a good stallion for somepony like Daring to want to marry him."
"Good stallion?" Fletcher "He insulted you!"
"I've had worse." Dove shrugged. "And he didn't really mean it."
"It sounded like he meant it." Fletcher snorted.
"You know, and what you told me about him, I was expecting a real jerk." Dove admitted. "But he's not. He's really nice. Strange, but nice. Maybe you'd feel the same way, if you just gave him a chance."
"You can't be serious." Fletcher growled.
"I'm dead serious." Dove declared.
"I'm not going to let that fool get the better of me!" Fletcher yelled. "If I hold anything back now, he'll see it as a weakness, and make it a point to defy me even more!"
"You know what? I don't care what's going on between you two." Dove said sternly. "I was hoping to have a nice dinner with my new friend and her family. And you're not going to ruin it. So play nice!"
“Why would I play nice with that braindead, emptyheaded ‘Goodfella reject?” Fletcher growled.
“Because the wife of that braindead, emptyheaded ‘Goodfella reject is my friend.” Dove frowned. “And I happen to like that little colt of theirs, so don’t be a secousse.”
"But I-" Fletcher protested.
"But nothing." Dove frowned. "You may be the Captain of the Royal Guard, but you and I are partners. Equals. Meaning you suck it up and try to get along with Caboose… for me."
"Alright, fine." Fletcher groaned. "I suppose one evening couldn't hurt."
"Thanks, Fletchy." Dove kissed him on the cheek.
The two couples returned to the table.
"Everything okay?" Daring asked Dove.
"Everything's fine." Dove smiled. "Right, Fletchy?"
"...Right." Fletcher sighed. "Couldn't be better.”
"Caboose?" Daring asked.
"Oh yeah, sure." Caboose smiled so hard it hurt. "Glad to be here."
"And we're glad to have you." Dove grinned. "Aren't we, Fletcher?"
"Ecstatic." Fletcher forced a smile.
"Great." Daring smiled. "Isn't this nice? All of us just coming together to share a home-cooked meal?"
"Yeah." Caboose cringed. "And such good company..."
"I couldn't have put it better myself." Fletcher choked back the bile.
"Me neither..." Hurricane sighed, gazing at Fletcher.
The diners went back to their food. Before long, Daring decided to start a new conversation...
"So, tell us, Dove." She smiled. "How did you and Fletcher meet?"
"Oh, that was back when Fletcher was still a recruit in Norhay." Dove smiled. "I was just a street magician back then. One day, on my way to a gig, I tripped and injured myself, and Fletcher, chivalrous as he is, helped me up and bandaged me up." She sighed deeply. "It was love at first sight for me."
"Unfortunately, not for me." Fletcher admitted. "I was so wrapped up in my training that I barely even noticed her." He gazed lovingly at her. "Crazy, right?"
"But I managed to convince him to join me for coffee as a way of thanking him." Dove smiled. "We became friends. And for a while, it seemed like that was all we could be. I wanted us to be more but every sign I gave Fletcher went over his head. He was completely oblivious.”
“Sad but true.” Fletcher admitted, “The town where I grew was small and sparse that I rarely left home. Dove often jokes that I can’t tell when mares are ogling me.”
“That is the understatement of the century.” Caboose muttered.
“But I finally got through to him.” Dove smiled, “One day, I decided to take the plunge. I just plucked up the courage and gave him a big ol' kiss. It was like we were in Carris for a second there..."
"I'll admit, I was surprised at first." Fletcher recalled. "So surprised I froze up, in fact."
"Seriously?" Caboose snorted, “A Casanova like you?”
"Anyway..." Fletcher growled. "That kiss was a wake-up call. It didn't take long for me to realize what a wonderful marefriend Dove could be. We started dating not long after that."
"Ooh, tell him about the proposal, Fletchy!" Dove urged.
"Well, I had just received advance word of my transfer to Canterlot, I realized it would mean being apart from my beloved Dove." Fletcher frowned. "So I did the only sane thing: I asked her to come with me, and be my wife."
"How could I say no?" Dove hugged him, “As of now, we have been engaged for four months. And I had never been happier since.”
"Aww, that's so romantic..." Daring cooed.
"Yeah, romantic..." Hurricane snarled in jealousy.
The rest of the dinner went as smoothly as could be hoped. Though there was a brief misunderstanding during dessert (regarding who got the largest slice of pie), Caboose and Fletcher were at least civil with each other.
"Thanks for coming, guys!" Dove waved. "Come back soon!"
"Not too soon..." Fletcher muttered.
"We will!" Daring waved back. "Bye!"
"Bye-bye!" Michael added.
Hurricane waved shyly at Fletcher.
"I was in his house..." She whispered. “The girls are going to be so jealous…”
"Glad that's over." Caboose huffed.
"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad." Daring declared.
"Maybe not." Caboose admitted. "But it's not going to change anything between me and Fletcher. Tomorrow, it'll be business as usual...and it’s going to suck."
'Caboose and Fletcher had reached an uneasy truce for the briefest of times, but this tale is far from over. Stay tuned for the final chapter, where things finally come to a head for all parties involved...'