Trading Places

by Artimae


Trading Places

1

“I hereby call to order this meeting of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Scootaloo said, sitting at the podium. “Our first order of business, as usual, is roll call! Sweetie Belle?”

Instead of the customary ‘here!’, there was only a snore.

“Sweetie Belle!?”

Another snore.

“Ugh, fine. At least you’re awake, right Apple Bloom?”

Apple Bloom’s response mimicked Sweetie Belle’s, causing Scootaloo to scowl. It was her turn to head the meeting, and they were just going to sleep through it?! Not on her watch.

“Wake up!” she shouted, startling the girls out of their stupor. “What’s up with you guys today?!”

“S-s-sorry,” Apple Bloom said through a yawn, rubbing her eye. “Applejack woke me up at sunrise to help with the farm ch-ch-chores.”

“That’s nothing,” Sweetie Belle mumbled, her eyes drooping. “I had to stay up all night with Rarity and her new fashion obsession.”

“It’s not nothin’! Buckin’ apples and carrying bushells is way harder than grabbin’ a bunch of clothes stuff!”

Sweetie Belle’s ears twitched “‘Grabbing a bunch of clothes stuff’? I had to stand still for hours and model for her new lineup of foal’s clothes!”

“Girls?” Scootaloo lightly tapped her wooden hammer to try and bring back order.

“Oh no, you had to stand still!” Both fillies stood up, wide awake now, and came face-to-face in the middle of the clubhouse. “I had to haul heavy baskets around! Workin’ with Applejack is loads harder than workin’ with Rarity!”

“Girls!”

“My blank-flank it is!” Sweetie Belle responded, her voice growing louder by the second. “Rarity’s the meanest, hardest slavedriver you’ll ever meet!”

Apple Bloom pressed her muzzle up against Sweetie Belle’s, glaring at the unicorn. “I bet it’s real tough to change dresses every few minutes!” she spat sarcastically. “Gee that must be the hardest job in Equestria!”

“It’s a lot harder than kicking a few trees and pulling a cart!” Sweetie Belle shot right back, glowering at Applebloom.

Girls!” Scootaloo banged the hammer against the podium, breaking the head off of the handle in the process.

WHAT?!

“We shouldn’t be fighting like this! As Cutie Mark Crusaders, it’s our duty to try new things to earn our Cutie Marks. And since I’m in charge of the meeting today, I think you both should find out who really has it harder… by taking each other’s places!”

“What!?” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle blurted out at the same time, both equally dumbstruck by Scootaloo’s proposal.

“You heard me! Apple Bloom, you’ll go and help Rarity. Sweetie Belle, you’ll help Applejack. It’s the only way to find out who really has it tougher!”

“Fine,” Apple Bloom said, giving Sweetie Belle a devious grin. “I bet ya won’t last two seconds with my sis.”

“And you won’t last one second with Rarity!” Sweetie Belle countered, giving Apple Bloom a sour look.

“Then it’s settled!” Scootaloo said, tapping the broken head of the hammer against the podium. “Meeting adjourned for today!”

* * *

“So, er… why are ya here again exactly, Sweetie Belle?”

Applejack was staring at the filly as she tried lifting a sack of grain most stallions would have struggled with. Sweetie Belle’s determination was no match for the weight she was trying to pull, however, and the mare sighed, offering her a hoof. “You gotta start small, at the very least. And where the hay’s Applebloom gone anyway?”

“She’s… with… Rarity…” Sweetie Belle grunted out, trying with all of her might to make the grain even budge an inch. All she succeeded in doing was digging deeper ruts beneath her hooves as she scrabbled for leverage.

“Stupid sack!” she burst out, punching it once and then using her magic to lift it, to no avail.

“...Listen, not that I don’t appreciate the help but, er, you sure you wanna be doing this? It ain’t the sorta work most unicorns take to… er, no offense.”

“I won’t give up! I can’t let Apple Bloom win!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow at that, stopping for a moment and turning to the filly. “Let her win what?”

Sweetie Belle bit down on the corner of the sack, trying to use all four of her legs as extra leverage. “She thinks she has tougher chores than I do!” she said through the piece of sack between her teeth. “But this… is… nothing!” She tugged as hard as she could, pulling the grain only an inch.

Applejack shook her head, sighing. “What does it matter, anyway? It’s not like this is that much easier than, er…” she thought for a moment, considering her choice of words. “sewing dresses n’ stuff, right?”

Conceding defeat, Sweetie Belle let go of the sack and fell onto it, panting. “It’s a lot harder to work with Rarity! I bet Apple Bloom’s already miserable! But when do we get to the apple bucking? I bet that’s what she does, and I wanna show her just how easy it really is!”

At that, the mare burst out laughing. “Buckin’s for the older ponies, Sweetie Belle! Why, the one time Apple Bloom tried, she spent about an hour kicking the same tree. She didn’t get one leaf to fall, let alone an apple!”

Applejack smiled at the memory, grabbing the bag of grain and grunting as she pulled it over to the fields, before turning to Sweetie Belle. “Listen, it’s not about what work’s harder, it’s about getting the work done. And if you really wanna help, you gotta start small, and forget this whole competition thing.”

“Hmph, you’re just saying that because you want her to win,” Sweetie Belle said, sticking her lip out in a pout.

“No, I’m sayin’ that because I’m down one hard working filly, and if you wanna prove her wrong then you’ve gotta work at least as hard as she does,” the mare replied, a hint of frustration in her voice, “Now are you gonna help or aren’tcha?”

“Of course I am! Tell me what to do and I’ll do it! I won’t even break a sweat!”

“Whoo boy. I get the feeling it’s gonna be a long day…” Applejack muttered quietly.

* * *

“Hey, er, Miss Rarity?” Applebloom asked, knocking on the door to Rarity’s house. “Are ya in?”

The door to Carousel Boutique opened, and Rarity poked her head out. “Yes? Oh, hello Apple Bloom. I’m so sorry, but if you’re looking for Sweetie Belle, she isn’t here. I thought she was with you?”

“I’m, er… I’m here to do some chores,” Applebloom replied awkwardly, “Your sister said that it’s harder workin’ out here than at Sweet Apple Acres, and I just can’t believe that! So please lemme help you today.”

“Why that’s… that’s wonderful!” Rarity grabbed Apple Bloom, pulling her inside and shutting the door. “I was just thinking of asking you girls to help me! Oh if only Scootaloo were here… I still need to fashion a line of clothing for pegasi children. Oh, but I’m glad you came, don’t get me wrong!” She set Apple Bloom up on a pedestal, and set her measuring tapes to read the dimensions of the filly. “You’d think that I could simply use Sweetie Belle to model the Earth Pony line of clothing, but the fact of the matter is every species has completely different tastes! Or sometimes no taste at all… Plus Earth Ponies are much stockier than us Unicorns.”

Apple Bloom smiled and nodded as Rarity babbled endlessly, apparently just as happy to have a conversation with herself as with the confused filly. After a few minutes, however, Apple Bloom cut in, “Erm, excuse me, Rarity, but is there any… er… work I can do? Like moving clothes, or, erhm…” Her voice trailed off, catching up with the blank that had come to her brain. It had only just occurred to her that she knew little to nothing about Rarity’s work - though she was still adamant it had to be easier than life out in Sweet Apple Acres.

“Oh, don’t be silly, dear,” Rarity said through bursts of chuckling. “All you have to do is stand absolutely perfectly still, and I’ll handle the rest!” The measuring tapes came flying back at her, followed by a clipboard which she quickly skimmed. “Mmhmm, just as I thought! These Earth Foal clothes should fit you nicely. They practically drape over Sweetie Belle, however. Here, what do you think of this hat?” She floated a large, veiled sunhat over to Apple Bloom’s head, simultaneously unravelling the filly’s bow. “I believe it’s going to be the next big thing with fillies in Canterlot!”

“Hey! Don’t mess with the bow!” Apple Bloom yelled out indignantly as the hat weighed down on her head. It was a rather unwieldy thing, and in terms of a fashion statement it was louder than a protest song. But more annoying was the idea that her considerable strength for a filly of her age was going to be wasted for the rest of the day. “...Seriously? Ya want me to just stand still for a few hours? Isn’t there anything more useful I could do?"

“Useful?” A series of brushes and combs made their way to Apple Bloom, tugging at both her mane and tail, straightening them out, flattening them. “Why, this is the most useful thing you could possibly do! Think of all the fillies and colts who will strut around Canterlot, showing off their brand new clothes designed by none other than me! And this is only the beginning! Each new season calls for a new fashion! Hm… you look like a Spring kind of filly… gentle colors… yes…” A large, peach colored cloth floated Apple Bloom’s way, covering her and folding itself over into several different designs, each accompanied by a photo, blinding the filly with its flash.

Apple Bloom blinked, frowning as she stared at the oversized dress she was wearing. “So this is all Sweetie Belle does? Stand around and look silly?” she snorted, “At this rate I’ll win for sure! I bet she hasn’t done one chore for my sister!”

“Hm? Win? Win what?” Rarity asked, writing on four different clipboards at once.

“She said working with you was way harder than working on the farm,” Apple Bloom huffed, “But so far this has barely been work at all.” She frowned, trying uncreasing the dress a little. “How long do I gotta wear this stuffy thing anyway?”

“Is that right? Well, perhaps I do make her work a tad too much... Oh, you may remove it. If you liked that one, then just you wait! You’ll absolutely adore the next twenty dresses!”

“...Uh oh.”

* * *

Applejack frowned slightly as the sun hung low in the sky. Most of the fields had yet to be sown, as as she watched Sweetie Belle drag a smaller bag of grain across them she could only wonder how much more she could’ve managed had Apple Bloom not gone off for the sake of some silly beg.

“...Yeah, I think we’re done for today. You, er… worked hard for a first day on the job,” she winced, trying to give as positive an assessment as she truthfully could.

“See?” Sweetie Belle panted, wiping sweat from her brow. “No big deal… I bet I could do this… forever…” The filly flopped over, snoring before she’d even hit the ground.

Applejack sighed, lifting the sleeping filly onto her back before heading over to the Carousel Boutique. She cleared her throat before knocking at the door. “Hey, Rarity?”

“Yes- Oh, Applejack! I was just about to come see you! Poor Apple Bloom is all… er, how do you say it? ‘Tuckered out’.”

Applejack nodded to the sleeping filly on her back. “Same here. Seems they got into their heads something about a contest, but if she’s half as tired as Sleepy Belle here it’s gotta be a tie!” She chuckled, resting Sweetie Belle next to her sister.

“Hm, I suppose it’s our fault, in a way. They see us bickering constantly, after all.” Rarity put a pillow beneath her sister. “I mean, of course being a fashionista is harder than working an apple orchard, but that really doesn’t matter, now, does it?”

“... Come again? You’re kidding, right?” Applejack chuckled, unsure if it really was a joke. “You ain’t really sayin’ that sewin’ a couple garments is as hard as sowin’ a couple dozen fields? And that ain’t even gettin’ into the work come harvest time…”

“Oh, Applejack, anypony can learn how to plant crops and kick trees. But it takes a real gift, a special talent if you will, in order to bring together a garment that is sought after by Royalty itself! Not to mention a sense of taste,” she added under her breath.

“Okay, that is it! You and me, sugarcube! We’re switching jobs for a day! That is, if this ‘uncultured earth pony’ is good enough to handle your precious silks and fabrics!” Applejack snarled.

Me? Get my hooves dirty?!” Rarity snorted. “You are clearly out of your mind! It’s not like I have to prove myself to you or anypony anyway.”

Applejack smirked in triumph, “That’s fine if you dont want to. After all, not just anypony can handle a life on the farm. Takes strength, determination… didn’t really think a unicorn would have that kinda grit anyway...”

“How dare you! I can harvest every apple without even lifting a hoof!”

“Nuh-uh, no magic. That’s not the way the Apple family does things. We do it all by hoof. ‘Course, if you’re gonna have to hold back, so will I. I bet I can thread a needle just as easy without using my hooves anyway.”

“Hm… fine. I accept your challenge, if only to show you just how much harder my work is.”

* * *

The next day, the two fillies crawled into the headquarters of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, somehow managing to look even more exhausted than the day before.

“Urgh, my legs are killing me!” Apple Bloom protested. “How in the hay do you manage to just… stand there like that all day? I never wanna look at another dress for as long as I live…”

“What’re you talking about?” Sweetie Belle retorted, rubbing her aching back. “I had to carry a bag of seeds twice as big as I am!”

Scootaloo stared at the two. “So, erm… who won?"

“I don’t care, as long as I never have to model for a dress again I’m happy!” Apple Bloom sighed.

“That’s easy stuff compared to living on a farm! You have it way harder!”

“Well, at least we can go have a normal day now, right?” Scootaloo offered hopefully.

Just as she was finished speaking, Applejack could be heard calling up to Sweetie Bell. “Sweetie Bell! How the hay am I supposed to sew a dress when I can’t even find the thread? Get down here and help me out!”

“Oh, Apple Bloom, could you be a dear and assist me with these hideous harnesses?! The buckles are ridiculously tight and the carts need painting! I simply cannot be expected to pull such a garish thing!”

"What's the matter, Rarity?! My line of work too tough for ya?"

"Please. I merely do not wish to look like a mule, that's all. You're the one who can't even thread a simple needle!"

The two fillies looked at each other and groaned. Sometimes it really was easier to admit defeat.