The first week following Celestia’s move in was…pretty uneventful. Not that anything didn’t happen. I mean, we had Twilight’s birthday party at the castle and Summer Wrap-Up along with a lot of the usual couple stuff doubled since we were technically a pair of couples. It was just that after having to deal with everything I usually, getting a few extra roommates settled in was all that big a deal, even with everything that happened afterwards.
Spike took a few days to really get used to the changelings running around the castle, although I think the CMC helped him deal with that. They all had started coming over more and thanks to one of my other house guests needing some feedback on her work. But after he did, well…I think going from Twilight’s personal slave to head slave of the household made him happy. Now, he didn’t sweep floors, he told others to do it for him.
I also ended up with another empty room of the castle filled…by Trixie. The show mare had followed Sunset home after the Crystal Empire thing and…well, I was one of those people that couldn’t say to letting strays into the house. It wasn’t really that big a deal. I mean, she was already housebroken, and Sunset even taught her some new tricks!
As for the bacon-haired one, she went on like always. Celestia finally finished a little ruby necklace that would translate her English into Equish so she didn’t have to wear that garish belt all the time, but…even a week after Tia joined the mirror project, Sunset was still a biped. But the magiclessness seemed to be affecting her less and less as time went on. Or maybe it was just the social interaction helped her cope. Whatever it was, as long as Sunset didn’t spend her nights crying into her pillow, I was happy.
Twilight went back to her parents house during our weekly trip to Canterlot for class along with Spike. When they demanded she apologize for her actions at dinner, she slammed the door in their faces and told Spike he wouldn’t be coming back to see them until they apologized to the dragon’s ‘father’.
Yeah, Rainbow never really dropped the whole parental responsibilities thing with Spike, and after a few days…Twilight actually started acting more like a mother to him than a best friend. It was subtle, but…instead of asking him for help, she started assigning chores. Phrases like ‘I want/need you to do X’ became simply ‘You need to do X’, and Rainbow checked up on him when she came home from work.
As for the pegasus herself. Rainbow went back to busting clouds and bringing the rain after Summer Wrap-Up, saying that Fall involved some pretty harsh weather that she wasn’t willing to trust to a changeling. I didn’t know whether to be insulted, or admire her work ethic. Hell, the fact she had one at all was kind of news to me. The other major event in Rainbow’s life was that she had decided to move her stuff in with us, completing her migration into the Everfree. Dash’s trophies populated several bookshelves in our royal apartment’s sitting room, and a few of her special ones rested above the fireplace.
That was another thing that changed too. With Celestia sleeping with us, Twilight and me moved us all in to Celestia’s old bedroom, which was more than just a single room for her bed.
As for Summer Warp-up…I was extremely disappointed.
Okay, there was this giant fair where ponies all across Equestria came to party. It was like…well, an outdoor pony convention. We had food, drinks, games, and tons of celebrities. I got to meet Babs and Sapphire Shores before the pop star took part in the Summer Parade that was missing its Mare Do Well float after some holes ‘mysteriously’ appeared in it. There was even a ‘royal’s only’ sort of competition for certain ponies to keep Luna from winning everything like she did last year and…well, poor Shining Armor ended up being a little outclassed by all us princesses.
But...look, Winter Wrap-Up was this giant musical number in which all the ponies pitched in to do numerous jobs and clean up Winter because everything was manual in Equestria. In contrast, Summer Wrap-up was…picking up after the End of Summer Festival.
We didn’t paint leaves, tell the animals to get ready for Winter, or do anything beyond pick up trash. There was a song and all, but…it just wasn’t the same. Me and Luna used our whole ‘We’re royals and have more important shit to do than push brooms around’ to get out of working.
Then Tia dragged us both back and set us to picking up trash with those little poker things people use to spear junk by the side of the road because…Ponyville was an earth pony town and it was traditional.
As for the new High Princess of Equestria, we got to bond over community service. In the first week of her rule she managed to cut down on a lot of the useless shit that took up most of Tia’s day and tossed out several things that just made me scratch my head. Guardsponies were no longer given medals for rescuing cats from trees because it had been a ‘slow century’ when it came to military action. Idiot officials who brought stuff to court that was a waste of time, like the Duke of Hollow Shades that wanted to know if it was okay to sell their swamp-water taffy in Appleloosa, got thrown out on their butts.
After Luna complained about the whole thing to me, Twilight and I helped her set up a messaging system like the one I used in Ponyville to sort through all the stupid requests. By the end of next week, changelings will start delivering audience requests to Luna that she can have time to prepare for, deny, or solve with a simple command that she can give remotely.
The changelings couldn’t be more happy about this since it meant we basically controlled the information network in Equestria and…well…that was pretty much tantamount to taking everything over if we decided to start feeding everyone misinformation. Luna also got around to ridding us of Celestia’s old decree about changelings needing to always go around in specific disguises, and now all the love vampires can be seen roaming around Equestrian cities in all their insectoid glory.
As for Celestia…well…
I opened my eyes a few minutes after Celestia awoke from our special time together and wanted for my body to catch up with the activation of my mind. The pony goddess was already gone of course. Thanks to our cloud bed, she could just sink right through it and leave the rest of us undisturbed at will. It also let us take a sleeping position that would have been impossible otherwise, with Celestia sunk down enough in it that the girls and I could cuddle up with each other and still have her encompassing us all.
But even with that added bonus that allowed her to get away without waking the others, Rainbow Dash and Twilight still didn’t get to keep their sleep because…
Look, ever since moving in with us, minus a few moments here and there…or whenever she was working on that stubborn mirror, Tia was freakishly happy. More than I had ever Smelled her before. So much so that she wanted to start every day with a song.
And with this being Equestria, I mean that literally.
So I nudged Rainbow and Twilight when I started to hear the telltale sound of hoof meeting stone, and looked down at us with a smile. “So, are you three awake?”
“No,” I told her.
“Technically…yes,” Twilight replied in a groggy voice.
Rainbow just moaned and pulled the sheets over.
“Well then,” Celestia said as background music from all around me began to assault my ears with a gentle melody.
Come and watch the sunrise
See the beginning of the daaaaaay
Magic enveloped the blanket we were using and yanked it away before Tia wrapped us up in her warm glow.
Get out of bed, you sleepyheads
Stop wasting the day awaaaaaaaay
A second later, she yanked the three of us along for her little trot down the hallway.
We need to do this daily
And if you don’t
Well I won’t actually cryyyy
Then she used her hind hoof to knock on the entrance to her daughter’s apartment.
Come on and watch the sun rise
Hurry up and open your eyes
The only human in Equestria spoke from the other end of the door. “Yeah, yeah, give me a second.”
Unfortunately Sunset’s early response time meant she hadn’t bothered to get decent, and a door open enough to see her head also revealed the fact that the former Equestrian still kept several of her old sleeping habits. Like not wearing pajamas.
“GAH! Sunset! Put some clothes on!”
But before I could scold her properly for giving me very bad thoughts, we were off again to gather up Trixie and Spike.
Come let’s all watch the sun rise
We’ll fly outside around the wall
It can’t be overdue, I’m telling you
Pony society would faaaaaaall
With that you see
My responsibility
The most important thing to dooooo
We all made it outside onto the balcony that faced west, and just waited for Tia to do her thing.
So come and watch the sun rise
ZZZZZzzzzzzz”
We all looked over to the slumbering pegasus simply floating there in Celestia‘s magic.
While Twilight got annoyed and I rolled my eyes along with the rest of our entourage, Tia gave a good natured smiled and tickled Rainbow’s nose with her wing to wake the blue pony up as the moon started to go down and Tia’s horn li up to bring the first light of dawn over the horizon.
Hurry up and open your eyes.
With the morning musical number over, we all did what had become routine since Tia and everyone else had moved into the castle. The group said a quick morning to each other before they started to get ready for the day.
“A bit lovelier than the last one,” the blue unicorn commented before she turned and started to trot away from the rest of us. “Now, Trixie is off to take her morning bath.”
Twilight’s head twisted around to glare at the departing pony. “Oh no you don’t Trixie! There are other ponies in this castle that actually have to go into town today, and we don’t have time to wait for that. Not to mention you use up a whole rain cloud when you do. If you need to get cleaned up, take a shower!”
Trixie let out an overdramatic gasp that would have been worthy of Rarity. “A rain cloud shower? Those are cold! The Great and Powerful Trixie can only cleanse herself with a properly heated source of water!”
“Then stay at the Ponyville inn!” Twilight yelled at her as they continued to get further away.
“Trixie wouldn’t dream of hurting her dear friend Sunset Shimmer’s feelings with such an act!” the unicorn cried out.
“Mooch!” Twilight accused.
“Princess of Stinginess!” Trixie shot back.
As the two of them went out of hearing range, I turned back to the group as everyone else finished contemplating their morning plans.
“Well, time to make breakfast,” the dragon mumbled before he started to head back inside.
Rainbow let out a loud yawn and stretched. “Sounds to me like I got time for a quick nap.”
Behind the pegasus, Celestia lit her horn and forced the Dash to stay in place with a magical aura that surrounded her. “Oh no Rainbow. You need to get ready for work,” she told our girlfriend gently. “Come to the kitchens. We’ll get some coffee in you and you can help with the meal.”
After hearing Tia’s plan, Rainbow gave her thoughts on the whole thing by letting out a long groan. To which the goddess just giggled at as she set the pegasus on her back and released her from the telekinetic grip. “Now Darling, isn’t it the father’s duty to make sure her son is doing everything correctly?”
“Ugh. Fine,” she relented before lazily stretching out on Celestia’s back. “But don’t ask me to cook anything. Spike’s way better at that stuff anyway.”
On her way back in, Celestia paused to look at me. “Omnifarious would you go and check on Sunset, she never made it out of her room.”
I blinked, and looked around to see that she was right. Only ponies and a few changelings that I used to patrol the halls had been present to watch Celestia’s musical number. The human hadn’t shown up. “Sure thing Tia.”
After waiting for the alicorn to head out, I motioned for my changelings to get back to work and trotted inside. Taking my time to walk through the hallways and admire them, I had to admit that the castle had become a lot more decorative once Tia had moved back in with all her old stuff.
Which was a lot. I had apparently been wrong about her just up and abandoning the castle after Luna was banished. The ancient alicorn had stored tons and tons of crap in her dimensional closet. Admittedly, it was all sentimental stuff like pictures, vases, and other decorating things, but most of the magical junk stored in the castle had been hidden behind traps so…maybe she had thought it was safe?
After retracing my steps back through the castle, I reached up and knocked on Sunset’s dark blue doors. The rooms had apparently been Luna’s old place back when she had lived here, and since Celestia talked the three of us into retaking the sun room, Sunset got the one for night.
When no one answered, I tried again and added a verbal element to my attempt in gaining permission for entrance. “Hey Sunset, you decent? It’s time for breakfast.”
The lack of a response continued, and I found myself with a bit of a problem. I had been a teenager once upon a time. While Sunset wasn’t really in her teens, I couldn’t help but think of her that way. And a teenager’s room was sacred ground.
So, mustering up all the courage that allowed me to stare down monsters and challenge armies, I…very carefully cracked opened the large double doors to look around. I wasn’t trespassing, I was just looking. “Sunset, are you in here?”
Another lack of a response said it was safe to come in and look around. So, that’s what I did. Like me and the girls, Sunset had moved across the castle at Celestia’s urging. While both of our old bedrooms had been just about that, bedrooms with a little closet and a bathroom, Sunset’s new accommodations were an apartment unto themselves inside the castle. She had four rooms all to herself: the sitting room, the bedroom, bathroom, and a spare room Celestia had said was supposed to be an office, but Sunset had turned it more into a nerdvana with chalkboards full of math.
“Sunset?” I called out. “Did you go back to sleep?” If Rainbow could do it, why not her?
And then, Sunset appeared!
Or rather, she walked in from the bathroom with a toothbrush still in her mouth. But, the result was the same. Sunset had shown up…dressed in some extremely short shorts that landed someplace between clothes and underwear, and…that was kind of it.
In other words, she still didn’t have a shirt on.
Or a bra.
And…okay, it had been awhile since I had seen human nudity. But by my estimation, Sunset was a very healthy young adult female homo sapien with a body that was ready to bear children and nurture them with the grapefruit-sized mounds on her chest. All in all, not something I should be looking at. If not for the age thing.
“Sunset!” I shrieked before I spun around and looked at the very interesting carpet depicting a red and yellow yin-yang-ish sun on the floor that Celestia had made for her daughter. I think the red in it matched the color of my cheeks. “Clothes! What’d I say about clothes?”
The human groaned, and I heard her spit into the bathroom sink a few seconds later. “Okay Dad, geeze,” the human said before she marched back through her room. “Excuse me for being as naked as every other thing in this fucking world inside my own room.”
At that point, the world shifted, the air became thick, darkness flooded in and I had to fight to keep my footing. Thankfully, my disguise was part pegasus, and I was able to fan my face a little bit to get some air. Then I blinked several times to clear my vision. And looked up when Sunset came back into the room with a hot pink tank top on.
Despite the fact that it was Fall, the weather was apparently still warm enough for Sunset to go running around in skimpy clothing. Having a permanent coat kind of made it hard for me to judge these things anymore.
Sunset was talking, but that wasn’t what really held my attention at the moment. “Sunset…w-what did you just say?”
She held up the straps of her skimpy outfit. “I asked if this was okay Mr Fashion Pol-uh, are you okay?” she asked as her snark was replaced by concern when she looked at me.
I quickly shook my head, and she was crouching down over me in an instant. “No no, that’s not,” I flinched away from her hand as it came near my head. “Sunset!” After concern turned to confusion and the human stopped moving, I was able to gather my thoughts. “I meant, before you went to put your top on.”
Sunset’s eyes became half-lidded with annoyance. “Well you are telling me how to dress in my own room on a planet where barely anything wear cloths. So excuse me for being a little indignant,” she grumbled at me.
“Not that!” I told her. “The other thing!”
“What other thing?”
I opened my mouth to explain to her and…stopped. Maybe I had just misheard and it was all just in my head. I mean, Sunset had been living with me for a few weeks, and as the only human in Equestria, I did kind of have a special connection with her. She was the only person I could talk television with…even if she did get all the names wrong thanks to Earthquestria being the fucked up land of pony-named humans. Not to mention how protective I was of her.
So, oddity explained away, I just let out a sigh and shook my head. “It’s nothing. I probably just misheard something.”
“Okay Dad.”
And there it was again. This time it appeared so quickly and without warning I let out a shriek and had to put a hoof behind me to stay upright. And yes, I admitted to shrieking. I was a guy in the body of a girl pony princess that had sex. If I wasn’t secure in my masculinity, I wouldn’t have been able to stay sane.
Or return to my sanity after my…relationship issues.
So, propped up as I was with one hoof, I was able to point an accusation with the other. “There! That! You did it again!”
Sunset frowned, but not in anger. She just looked at me like I was a difficult math problem or something. “Did what?”
I didn’t know if she was getting off on baiting me, but…I took it anyway. After I calmed down and maybe got just the tiniest bit fearful. “You…called me your dad.” Hell, if I really wasn’t just imagining it…
“Well…yeah,” Sunset replied before she studied me for a moment and got a little hesitant herself. “Um, you’re dating my mom, and Luna talked to me at the party on Thursday about some stuff. There’s no way Mom’s gonna break up what you guys have, and um…is that…okay? If I call you…that, I mean.”
All of a sudden my heart was hammering in my chest again. “You…do you want me to be your father?” I asked in my all too female voice. Sure it was a little deeper than what the rest of the girls had, but that just made it sound…sexy. Even in pony.
I ignored the oddity in favor of what was really important.
Sunset blushed just a little bit, and looked away from me. “Look, uh…I never really knew my parents and um… Celestia, she told me a few days ago that she probably never would have admitted how she feels about me to herself without you laying into her. And ever since I met you, all you’ve ever done is help me, and…you actually asked me for permission to go on a date with Mom, and…well…
“Look, I never really had a dad, but…well…” she let out a sigh. “Everything I know says it would be somebody like you.”
That weird ‘world is moving’ feeling came back, and it became a little hard for my one hoof to hold me up. “…oh,” I said between breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths we good. Oxygen was nice. Oxygen was life.
“Ah…that’s a no, then?” Sunset asked with a voice that kind of sounded…crushed.
“What?” I looked up at her with wide eyes and quickly rebalanced on my haunches to hold up both hooves in a stopping motion. “No no, no! That’s not…I…” I took a deep breath to calm down, and looked at Sunset in the eyes. “Sunset, the fact you consider me anywhere near…that, for you…I don’t know what to say.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Really that big a deal for you, huh?”
I gulped, and nodded. “Yeah,” I replied before licking my lips. Mostly because they were too dry. Not for…nervous reasons. “Yeah it is.”
“Why?” she asked with a frown.
The question made me pause and look down at the rug in front of me so I could think a little bit clearer. Just why was this whole ‘dad’ thing hitting me so hard? It wasn’t like Sunset was my long lost child or anything. And hell, I was already more or less taking care of her. The only thing that would change would be the fact that she called me Dad instead of ‘hey you’ ‘bug’ or the new one that had been invented thanks to my coronation. You know, ‘Princess’.
“I guess it’s because…” I said why trying to think of a reason. “It means I’ve got a real hard act to follow.”
Sunset let out a snort. “Yeah well, Celestia’s racked up some pretty big numbers in my screw up column according to her, so it’s not that hard to beat her parenting score.”
I gulped and shook my head at that little comment. When I thought about it, Celestia wasn’t the one I was comparing myself to as far as parenting went. No, when it came to measuring my own abilities to act like a role model for Sunset, I couldn’t help but think of my own father.
Having played the field when it came to subbing at schools in order to get my foot in the door, I had gotten a pretty large sample size of the American family. Unfortunately, a good many of the children I had encountered over the course of my teaching had been left behind by their paternal parent without even the child support to take care of them. Then there were the real scum that had done this with multiple women, multiple times.
Sure, we humans had racists, rapists, murderers, thieves and all that other trash running around in the world…but it took a special kind of sorry excuse for a human being to abandon their own child. The fact that about one out of four children grew up in a single parent household when I left Earth because the father didn’t stick around made me sick to my stomach.
My father was not one of these people. In fact, he was the exact opposite. When he married my mother and she brought in a child from her first marriage, he had apparently told my eldest brother’s father that if the man couldn’t do what he was supposed to do, then he had no business dealing with my eldest brother whatsoever. As I had never met my mother’s first husband or even knew his name, I had a pretty good idea how that all worked out.
But what my father did went beyond simply being there for his kids. He provided me with all the basic amenities of course, encouraged me to try my best in life without forcing me into anything I really didn’t want to do, and made sure I knew there were consequences for breaking the rules when I was too young to see the fallout of my actions when it didn’t affect me personally. And he also knew that being a parent didn’t stop after the children left the nest, or when he fell on hard times in his old age while the rest of us gained success. It was only during his final years, when cancer took him that he allowed us to help support him. I think that was on of the hardest things for him to do though. After all, it was the parent’s duty to support the child, not the other way around, and becoming a burden was even worse.
We never got to be pals, friends or anything like that even after I grew up. He was my father, and I was his son. It was that simple.
Even after everything I had done, I knew I wasn’t anywhere near as strong as my father had been. It was probably one of the reasons I had never wanted kids. My inability to live up to that example of what a father needed to be for his child had ended so many relationships that wanted children for me over the years.
And now I had a girl in front of me, asking if I would be that for her.
The weight that left on my shoulders made everything I had done up until then feel like nothing. Sure, I had more responsibilities with a bunch of other crap, but…it wasn’t nearly as personal as what was sitting in front of me.
What Sunset was asking, I knew it didn’t mean as much to her as it did to me. Not in the same way at least. She wasn’t some little kid asking for a daddy. And by the way she spoke to me, I knew that she had already put me in the position of father.
So I could either run away from it like so many others, half-ass it like I usually did things…or take up the responsibility like I was supposed to. Like I had been shown to do with my own father.
I took a breath, and looked at her in the eyes. “Sunset, you have no idea how honored I am that you would think of me like this,” I told her while doing my best to keep my act together. “And if you want me to be here for you…like that” I got tense but still managed to keep things together. Turning my attention to the floor helped. “Then I accept.”
Looking down as I was, I barely saw her arms come forward before Sunset pulled me into a hug, which I awkwardly returned before draping my neck across her shoulders. Then moved my wings around her body.
Sure, it wasn’t really official or anything. Celestia and I hadn’t even been together all that long in a couple capacity, but…pony relationships didn’t really work the way human ones did. They didn’t sleep together unless they loved each other, they worked through their problems instead of breaking up at the drop of a hat, and accepted responsibility for the lives that they created. So even though we’d only known each other for a couple of months, and been together for a few weeks, it was a pretty safe bet that things would continue on the way they were going now that the bumps had been worked out and the four of us were hitting our stride.
The opening of Sunset’s big double doors and the clopping of hooves on stone made the two of us break our hug to see who had interrupted our little premature-daddy pseudo-daughter moment. The ponies that stuck their heads in killed my anger before it began, and I blinked at my three girlfriends. “Hey girls. What’s going on?”
Rainbow let out a groan and zoomed up to hover over the two of us to give a stern frown. “What the hay are you two doing in here? Breakfast has been ready since forever ago.”
But that description was in Rainbow-time. To us normal people, it was more like ten minutes.
I smirked back at her and disconnected from Sunset. “Just working something out.”
“So, what’s for breakfast?” Sunset asked as she stood up and I became eye-level with her waistline.
“Spike had the changelings make build it yourself breakfast burritos,” Twilight replied as we left the room as a group. We joined up with the others, forming a wall of ponies that started with Twilight and ended with Rainbow on the other end as she flapped her wings to carry her down the hallway.
A few steps into our little journey, Celestia gave me the once over with her eyes, and then turned her attention to Sunset. “So, I take it by the hug that he said yes.”
The girl blushed. “Yeah. I know it’s not on paper or anything, but…”
Considering where I saw this going, I got a little nervous when Rainbow and Twilight started to chime in. “Eh who cares. Not like anything’s really official with me and Spike either.”
I had a bit of a misstep, but recovered before anyone noticed.
Twilight giggled, and then got into the air to look at the human next to her eye to eye with a smile I would have called devious on anything else. “Of course you know when we do become a herd…you’ll have to start calling me Mom too.”
This time, it was Sunset’s turn to nearly stumble. When she didn’t fall, the human frowned and stuck her finger under Twilight’s chin. “I don’t care how much freaky temporal crap screwed up my timeline. I’m still older than you. So no parental title.”
As Twilight continued to smirk at her and Sunset gave the alicorn a glare that held little heat, Rainbow looked down at me in confusion. “But you call Fairy dad and...aren’t you only like…going on half a year old now?”
With Rainbow basically calling my three girls pedofils...I quickly chose to ignore the question and pretend it never happened.
I still hadn’t managed to adjust to that new giant weight on my back that read ‘PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY’ by the time we got to the dinning room. But as no one seemed to notice my struggling with something that even Atlas would have been crushed under, I suffered in silence as everyone took their seats.
Breakfast was the usual mess of chomping, gulping, talking and other stuff that occurred at a small table with a large family, plus guests. Zecora said something nonsensical as she joined us. As the words doom, death, lawyer, or supercalafragalisticexpialadoshus, did appear I didn’t bother to try and make sense of it and just nodded my head in greeting.
Trixie came in later with only slightly damp hair and took a sat across from Sunset. A week of seeing Celestia all morning and afternoon probably helped her deal with the goddess sitting on the other side of the human better than me. It might have also helped that the last time Trixie met with Sunny Skies, the ‘special aide’ went on and on about how wonderful Celestia was on a personal level, and preferred to be treated like every other pony in private.
I think it also helped that she had completely shed all her royal regalia and was just as naked as everyone else.
Dash and Twilight ate with their usual amount of manners. Sure, Rainbow was going overboard when she had been in the hospital, but when the pegasus was being sincere…it was kind of hard to tell which one of them was worse. Although…I’ll admit that I had been pretty bad during my stint as a pegasus too.
With nothing to really eat, I signaled for one of my changelings to bring me the morning paper and set it down in front of me. Thanks to Tia’s wakeup calls, I never really had time to review info in the hive mind anymore beyond a basic sense of how the changelings were doing.
Which was great by the way. Aside from that whole lack of a new generation thing. But we had really started mitigating our losses from Everfree attacks by mind-slaving manticores and other stupid beats to do all the fighting.
As for the newspaper…
Although it had only been a couple of days since it got off the ground, my newest little venture was working out well enough in Ponyville. It would take time to expand beyond that though, and maybe a few adaptations. Since the info on events was just taken from other newspapers, I doubted any ponies wanted to read rehashed stories.
Sunset looked over my shoulder and I waited with a moody frown while she finished reading whatever it was that caught her attention. “So…I got a question.”
I sighed and looked over to Sunset. “No, I’m not turning the page.” Not that I could blame her for being curious. The front page story was announcing that Luna had finally decided on a punishment for Blueblood and his cronies after a week of deliberation, and would be gathering several of the dukes from around Equestria before the sentencing phase was carried out for all to see. “If you want to read what’s going you can at least wait until I’m done, or get your own paper.”
“I’m just wondering…why that for the title of the paper?”
I looked down at the printed ink at the top of the page done up in the flowing script that was the main language of Equestria. I could have gone with the logical reply about how there would be an issue for ever day of the week, told her it was just based on a fan project back home, or just made something up, but…I decided to stick with a more pony believable response.
“Well, for a big bunch of information about all things pony…it’s traditional,” I said before opening my copy of Equestria Daily and seeing what was going on in Manehattan.
After everyone had all gotten halfway through our meals, Trixie cleared her throat and jumped off the chair she was sitting on. We had lower tables to eat at, but necessity made us change after Celestia moved in. Sunset also liked the fact she didn’t have to park her butt on the floor like the rest of us. Now the only one whose ass got cold was the pony with enough padding to insulate it.
“Trixie would like to make an announcement,” she…well…announced. Everyone stopped shoving food in their mouths for a moment to look at her and waited for the show mare to continue. “She is going to be leaving Ponyville after lunch to continue on her journey to find fame and fortune.”
Celestia actually slumped down a little bit. “Oh…well, I’ll be sad to see you go Trixie. But, I do wish you the best in your endeavors.” Her Scent matched her words and, I could understand Celestia’s hesitation. As the girls had gone back to Canterlot for their DADA class, Trixie and Celestia (as Sunny Skies) had spent a good six hours in a scenario that involved trying to get out of an impossible maze with the others. Although they had lost to a different team, it had allowed for plenty of bonding time. “If you want, I could put in a good word for you to the owners of Carneighie Hall. They’re always on the lookout for good shows.”
The unicorn looked up at the goddess for a few moments with wide eyes, and then…put on her usual smirk and turned up her nose as she let out a laugh. “Ha! As if the Great and Powerful Trixie would accept such a hoofout from anypony,” she said.
Down the table from me, Twilight snorted. “Yeah, you just take our food, a room, materials to reconstruct your cart twice, my shower, and let’s not forget how many changelings you got my stallion to have wait on your horn and hoof,” she said before showing the jab to be all in good fun with a smirk of her own. “But a job offer? Celestia forbid!”
The alicorn next to Twilight put on a perplexed frown. “No I don’t.”
Trixie coughed into her hoof. “Yes well…let us not forget that Trixie would have been gone days ago if you and your friends had not convinced her to try and show those fillies how to perform on stage,” Trixie said before she rubbed her chin. “Trixie still does not know how they managed to make every single firework in that display turn around and strike her wagon.”
As talk of Trixie’s departure turned to other things, I had to admit…I was a little sad to see the light blue unicorn go. Like the others, I had learned to take her boasting with the same level of amused incredulity that Twilight now did with Rainbow’s. Except I didn’t put on that little smile like Twilight did that pretty much said ‘that’s the girl I have sex with’ and just settled for a normal smirk.
Plus, Trixie had learned to get along with the rest of the girls well enough in her own way. Twilight and Trixie may have argued about everything under the sun that they could, but I could tell it was more out of habit than anything else. Being a changeling let me do stuff like that. She actually sucked up to Rainbow a little bit, as my pegasus’s best trick would literally attract ponies from miles around to come to a show. Rarity and the unicorn had managed to bond over discussions of showmanship, while free food and Pinkie being Pinkie cemented Trixie’s friendship with the earth pony. The only sort-of holdout was Applejack, who simply considered her another Rainbow Dash with a horn that didn’t participate in physical contests to bond over. But she still liked the unicorn well enough. Fluttershy was probably closest to her among the Mane 6 though, mainly because of the fact Trixie was Rainbow Dash with a horn and didn’t try to get Fluttershy off the ground as much as the pegasus did. That, and Trixie expressed plenty of interest in animals like Sunset did. Even went to feed them every morning with the human and talked a little about using some of them in her act.
Then there was Sunset…who Trixie was actually nervous around despite all the time they had spent together. Seriously, the human and unicorn had spent more time together than all the other girls had with Trixie combined. Sunset helped Trixie with her act using several illusions Equestrians had never even tried, and taught her things about magic despite the handicap she possessed.
As for me. I liked her because she was good with kids. Not just Snips and Snails either. The show mare had managed to save me from the dreaded CMC babysitting detail twice during her week in Ponyville. It was something she would have my eternal gratitude for.
“So, what does everypony have planned for today?” Celestia asked as breakfast began to wind down and she looked around expectantly.
I hated to even think it but…Tia seemed to be getting housewife syndrome. You know, that disease that working women get when they have to quit their jobs to take care of a baby or something? The one that drives them crazy unless they fill at last 70% of the day with some kind of activity?
That one.
Sure, she was working on how to reopen the portal and fix Sunset with a quick hop, skip and a jump back to Equestria as a unicorn. But as her efforts so far had hit a wall, rather than scream at the mirror loud enough to shatter glass or chunk it off of the highest tower in sheer frustration, Celestia took a break every now and then to get her mind off the main problem and let her subconscious deal with it by focusing on something else.
At first Pinkie Pie had brought her to Sugar Cube Corner to help with the lunchtime rush. But every pony that came in just stood there with their mouths open while Celestia waited behind the cash register for their orders. It had been the most unprofitable lunchtime rush in the history of ever.
So, since the goddess being a part-timer didn’t work out, she mostly stuck to working in private. That meant she either bucked apples in AJ’s orchard, organized the books in the library, catalogued the magic vault under the castle, or volunteered her healing magic at the hospital.
But despite this, she was still hungry to hear everyone’s plans for the day.
I sighed, and went first. “Well, barring a monster attack or friendship problem that takes more than half an hour to fix, I’ll be holding court until lunch, and then I’ve got a meeting with the Ponyville Business Council,” I grumbled. If Ponyville was going to become a long-term town instead of a place where they just met to hook up, we needed to increase employment opportunities. Which probably meant having to okay Filthy Rich’s mining operation.
“I’ll be looking over those books Cadence found for me at the Crystal Empire concerning crystal magic and crystal constructs at the library until it closes. Then it’s back to the mirror for me,” Twilight told everyone at the table.
Celestia let out a very mortal moan, and slumped on the table. “Please don’t remind me about that stupid thing so early in the morning. I’ve done almost nothing but examine it for a week now, and I can’t figure it out at all.”
A hand touched Celestia on the shoulder, and then moved to massage her between the wing joints. “It’s okay Mom.”
The human’s words got a groan from Celestia, and she sat up to look down at Sunset. “No it’s not! I’m the greatest enchanter in all of Equestria! I rebuilt Starswirl’s first mirror from the million shards it was it, and even forced it open when he tried to seal it away from me! I’ve been working on that bucking thing for a week, and all I can tell you is that it’s magical! Every other bit of Spellcraft I use on it just fizzles out, like it just stops existing halfway through completion of the spell!”
I shared Celestia’s annoyance at the mirror problem, but I’ll admit that having to listen to her complain about it was getting on my nerves. As the goddess’s night partner, I wasn’t just wet dream fuel. I also listened to her problems and did my best to make things better for her, or at least take Tia’s mind off things for a time. And part of that meant listening to her bitch.
And moan.
And gripe.
And about a million other things that girls did with guys when they needed to get something off their chest.
“Same old same old for me,” Sunset spoke up as she continued to pet Celestia on the back. Sure, it looked like she was giving her mom a light massage, but…I knew what the crafty monkey was really up to. “By the way Twilight, there’s some designs I want you to take a look at when you come home today.”
The alicorn looked over to Sunset with a little frown. “Designs for what?”
“Dual enchanted necklace,” Sunset explained as Celestia let out a pleasurable moan and slumped forward towards the table a little. “I think everything balanced, but I need someone to double check my math before I hire a pony to cast the spells for me.”
Sunset’s words dispelled whatever enchantment that she had put Celestia under in a flash, and the alicorn raised her head up to look over to her daughter with a frown. “Excuse me?”
“What?” Sunset asked, looking over to Celestia in confusion.
“I just said I was the greatest enchanter in all of Equestria, and you’re going on about Twilight helping you with math before you hire somepony to do an enchanting job,” the goddess deadpanned. Then, she let out a sigh and looked away from the human. “Although, I suppose my time would be better spent working on your solution, if you need help with a project I’d be more than happy to lend a hoof. But you know I’m always here for you, right my little sunshine?”
Sunset blushed as Tia leaned over to nuzzle her, although whether it was from what Celestia said or just the attention she was giving the girl, I wasn’t sure. The alicorn had turned into quite the doting mother since she and Sunset ended up living together. “Y-Yeah Mom. If you want to help, that’s okay too.”
Everyone at the table either found something else to look at, or smiled at the little showing of affection. I also decided to rescue my pseudo-daughter from her predicament by getting the conversation moving a bit more. So I turned to Rainbow Dash. “What about you Rainbow? Got any plans?”
The pegasus groaned and slumped in her seat just a bit. “No. We’ve got to set up a big rain storm for later tonight.”
I looked over to Rainbow. “I thought weather was part of your special talent.” Weren’t all ponies supposed to love what they did for a living? At least when it was related to their special talent, I mean.
“Yeah, but building storms is so slow and I can’t really get a good workout,” she grumbled before crossing her forelegs. “How am I supposed to keep in shape and beat the beat the bucking Wonderbolts if I get flabby over the next couple of months?”
Twilight crewed through and swallowed the last bit of her food before looking over to Rainbow. “I could look into creating you an exercise routine that fits your work schedule if you want,” she said before smirking. “Of course, that means you won’t be able to nap half the day away if you want to stick with it.”
After hearing the possibility of losing her naps, Rainbow tensed and sighed. “Well if I gotta make sacrifices for the gold, so be it.”
I rolled my eyes at the situation. “You know, giving up going to sleep in the middle of the day isn’t that big a sacrifice.”
“Huh,” Twilight said as she blinked and looked over to me. “I thought you’d be more upset.”
The oddity of Twilight’s statement hit me like a bus. And trust me, I know what getting hit with a bus feels like. It completely discombobulates you and makes you wonder what the fuck’s going on. No thinking about stuff, no working things out in your head. You just go, “huh?” and know something bad just happened.
A large slurping sound announced the end to Zecora’s tea, and she stood up. “And with that I know, it is time for the guests to go.”
“Eh?” Trixie replied as the zebra gave her a pointed look, and motioned to the door with her head. “What?”
Meanwhile, my purple alicorn blinked at my question. “You know, no naps means no pre-nap activities that made the naps actually necessary in the first place, right? At least with Rainbow anyway.”
And then I came to a realization. A terrible, horrible realization. A realization that shook my world and made me become full of fear. “Y-You mean, no more…” I took notice Trixie was still in the room. “Uh, lunches with Rainbow?”
“YOU MEAN NO MORE AFTERNOON SEX?” the pegasus cried out in horror a few seconds after I spoke my thoughts.
Across the table from us, Trixie let out a sound of revelation. “Ah, private family discussion stuff. Trixie understands now.”
“But I like my afternoon quickies!” Rainbow went on as she looked around in a panic reminiscent of when Applejack told her they had to halt cider production in order to use the last harvest to build up some Winter food stores. “Quick, Celestia! We can still do it during my lunch break though, right?”
The alicorn gave Rainbow a reassuring smile. “I would be happy to see all of my ponies if you’re having that kind of itch.”
As the unicorn departed, Sunset groaned and leaned forward to collapse onto the table. “Great. Giving me mental images that make me want to throw up just after I got breakfast. Thanks Mom.”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “You’ve been living among those prudish humans for too long dear.”
After breakfast, we continued on with what had become the usual in the royal household. While Sunset set off for Fluttershy’s cottage with Trixie following along, the rest of us went to go get cleaned up for the day.
Thanks to the rotating schedule that Twilight had made, Rainbow and Tia got the bathroom to themselves while the pegasus washed, brushed, and preened for the day with the alicorn’s help. Thanks to it being Tia’s old rooms that we were using, the modification to bring everything up to date hadn’t also needed a size expansion to fit her, but that didn’t mean we hadn’t cannibalized the old rain clouds to use in our newer showers.
So while Tia and Rainbow were having fun in the shower, I was sitting on the bed with Twilight. The purple alicorn laid down on her stomach while a bush held aloft by purple magic ran through her hair, and I carefully examined her out folded wings for any feathers that were out of alignment or in need of pulling. Although I hadn’t known jack about preening up until a week ago, several changelings reading ten books on the subject and then dumping the knowledge in my head had helped me get a handle on it.
Of course with the two of us being in bed together, I couldn’t help but plant a few kisses on the alicorn’s back as I moved my eyes back and forth from wing to wing.
After my fifth round of spine tingling pecks, Twilight let out a weird sigh that didn’t sound all that content, and looked back at me with annoyed expression . Which was weird, because I could Smell the lust on her. “We’re supposed to be getting ready for work.”
“Oh, when do things ever go like they’re supposed around here?” I asked as I moved down towards the start of Twilight’s tail and showered that area with kisses.
I could just about feel Twilight’s glare on me, so I didn’t look up and meet her eye to eye as she started talking. “Plenty of times! In fact, the majority of the time, things go exactly as I plan them to go. It’s just everypony thinks things go wrong around here so much because when they do its always a huge disaster, and the abnormal is always more memorable than the expected! But six days out of seven, Ponyville is as normal as any other place in Equestria.”
As Twilight finished her rant, I had to check that our bed hadn’t magically turned into a soapbox. I also refrained from snarking on the normality of a planet full of magical talking horses that covered all the colors of the rainbow and then some. Instead, I put on my super serious face to make sure Twilight understood the weight of my incoming words and looked her in the eyes.
“Okay, roll over, now.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Why? You know we can’t have sex this late in the morning and still get cleaned up in time. Even if I used magic to get off all the stickiness, the smell would still be there.”
I held my super serious face and even tone as I talked to Twilight. “Because I love you and want to continue with the body worship. But with me being down here, it’s going to mean I start kissing your plot. Now roll over so I can suck your teats.”
“Oh sweet Celestia,” she mumbled before readjusting to do just that. “Why you like to do this so much, I’ll never understand.”
A kiss to Twilight’s pony-nipples didn’t get any reaction whatsoever from her, and I looked up from between her legs with a smile. “Well my goddess, I’m afraid you’d just have to spend some time with my hairless monkey species to really understand,” I told her before moving to kiss a few more of spaces of bare skin between Twilight’s legs, taking my time to remove my mouth after contact this time around.
Although I had gotten used to the feeling of my lips on ponies not too long after I started dating Twilight, my many nights with Celestia might have spoiled me a bit. I missed touching my lips to something without a coat of hair surrounding her.
Twilight fidgeted. “You shouldn’t do that.”
I detached myself from Twilight’s dark purple skin with an audible smack. “What? They’re just hickeys. I give them to Rainbow all the time.” I think she actually showed them off at work or something…which was kind of weird considering it was pretty much the same as a girl pulling up her shirt at the office when pony anatomy was taken into account.
The Scent I was getting from Twilight changed to one of embarrassment, and she looked away. “No, I mean you shouldn’t talk about me like that. Celestia’s the only one of us who has a religious following. I may be an alicorn, but I’m not…well…her.”
My brain latched onto the middle of Twilight’s little reveal, and refused to let go. “Wait, timeout…religion?” I asked before crawling up into Twilight until we were face to face. “You. Explain. Now.”
Okay, I had heard ponies use her name like, well we people used God, Allah, Buda and Satan…admittedly the last one wasn’t as popular as the first three but…anyway… I knew for sure there was no Church of Celestia of any sort, anywhere in Equestria. It had been one of the first things I had looked into when I got to Pony Land.
Twilight got an uneasy look in her eyes, and moved around just slightly so she was obviously starting at the wall behind me. “Well, I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of it. Celestia had the majority of all that stuff shut down after Luna became Nightmare Moon, but there’s still a few…sects around if somepony knows where to look.”
I…laughed. I couldn’t help it. The way Twilight just mentioned the existence of Tia’s little sun cult just made me burst out in guffaws before I flapped my wings to get away before she could bop me was just…so telling. “Oh…Holy Celestia! You were a sun worshipper?”
And dear God, the images that little phrase brought to mind…
Yeah, I couldn’t help but laugh at the porno imagery that filled my head… And maybe get a little turned on by it too.
“No!” Twilight flushed. “I-I just went to a few of their meetings to try and figure out why they insist on being a religion when their deity tells them that she’s not some all-knowing divine being!”
Although I had managed to calm down a bit after images of Twilight sticking her head between Tia’s cheeks while she shouted ‘praise the sun!’ cleared from my head, I had to snicker at her extremely filament protest of not worshiping Celestia when she was younger. “Okay…and what is their reason for being in a religion that their goddess doesn’t want to exist?”
Twilight rolled her eyes to give her opinion of the situation before she even started speaking. “They say it’s a time of tribulation and Princess Celestia is just testing them and their faithfulness.”
All in all, it wasn’t the most crazy of religious reasonings that I had heard over the years. Although I’ll admit, if the deity I acknowledged as existing ever showed up and told me to cut it out, I would be at a loss of what to do since I hadn’t actually participated in the institutionalized religion part of my religion for over fifteen years.
“Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” I admitted. Plus, ponies that were bowing to Celestia as their Lady and Savior couldn’t have been all that out of touch with reality.
Twilight snorted. “Yeah, tell that to the ponies that wanted me to wander around in the hot summer sun until I got heat stroke to await a vision from our goddess if I wanted to keep coming to the meetings,” she grumbled. “Honestly, I think High Priest Sunburn was just tired of me taking so many of the cookies during the gatherings when they met in his mother’s basement every Sunday.”
Huh…so much for a secret religious order sworn to Celestia that protects Equestria from the shadows, I thought to myself.
“Oh and Omnifarious?” Twilight spoke up, drawing my attention. She gave me a little blush, and looked away from my eyes while still keeping me in her field of vision. “Can you go back to uh…worshiping me now? Please?”
I smiled, and took the purple alicorn’s hoof to kiss it. “Of course, my goddess.”
This time, Twilight just blushed.
“You two sure you didn’t do anything?” Rainbow asked as she flew around to loom over me and Twilight while we walked on both sides of Celestia with a couple of changelings trailing behind us. We made it to the castle’s main doors before Twilight gave her answer.
“Yes, I’m sure Rainbow. Fae just kissed my body a few times.”
I really didn’t see what the big deal was. In the week since we’d moved to Ponyville, all four of us had some private moments with each other. Twilight and I had finally spent some alone time together for the first time since this whole herding debacle began, me and Tia had flown to Cloudsdale with Rainbow on another date while Twilight and Sunset spent some time working on some magical design thingy the redhead was interested in, and the two alicorns had spent several days together alone in the library. Sure they were supposed to be working on the puzzle box, the mirror, or my female problem, but I could smell the sex on them when they came home each time.
Our conversation was cut short when I walked out the door and looked up into the sky, then sat down to clap my hooves to signal the changeling carrying a tray of muffins to come forward.
About half a minute later, my honored herald, court announcer and personal courier landed in front of me, panting heavily. I paid it little mind and called out the name of the one mare in Ponyville that could fulfill such important tasks before giving her a hug, followed by a kiss on each one of her cheeks. “Derpy!”
“Puh-Princess!” Derpy breathed as I lifted her off the ground and did my best to crush the life out of her adorable little body that was dressed in the most precious dark blue outfit I could have Rarity design that still spoke of authority. The orange barrette on her head was my idea though.
And on the kisses thing, well…I sure as hell wasn’t looking to add pony #5 to the list of women crawling into my bed, but…it was Derpy! Not hugging the gray pegasus was almost a crime! In fact, the only reason it wasn’t was because Twilight and Luna had outvoted me when I tried to make it one last Thursday.
As for what she was doing all dressed up, I had of course followed through with my promise/threat the morning I returned to Ponyville, forcing Derpy into my service through royal decree. Technically, she was part of the Equestrian armed forces because of that, but if a war ever did break out, I’d order her to guard the inside of a bank vault or something. Nothing was ever going to hurt my Derpy.
Until then though, she just stood by me in court and announced whichever pony was next in line, shouted ‘NEXT’ a lot, and repeated by judgments at the top of her lungs. All of which was more than worth the six-figure salary with three months of paid vacation I was giving her.
I put my perfect little pegasus down and ended our morning greeting with the usual offering. “Muffin?” I asked as the changeling took his cue and raised the platter.
“Well…maybe one before…” Derpy paused in mid-step and shook herself out of her muffin lust, which to be quite honest…frightened me. Derpy never turned down muffins. Ever!
“No!” she said to me. “There’s no time!”
I let out a long sigh and gave my gray little mare a smile. The work ethic was nice, but I wasn’t about to be angry with her. “Oh come on Derpy, I know you’re my special aide and all, but there’s always time for muffins. Especially when I’m your boss, I make the schedule, and my fillyfriend over their determines how long the day is going to be. So, take a quick breather, have a snack, and rest for a few seconds.”
Once again, I led my little mare into temptation, and I could see the hunger in her eyes for her most desired of snacks. But then, she just closed her bright eyes and looked away. “No! I can’t! Not when Ponyville’s in danger!”
I…blinked… “Say what?”
“Ponyville’s in danger?” Rainbow repeated from behind me. Judging by how the position of her voice elevated halfway through the question, it sounded like she went back to being airborne.
“What’s going on?” Twilight questioned right on top of her.
Celestia…reminded silent like always when a crisis reared its ugly head.
I waved the muffin changeling away, and looked back to the pegasus. “You’re okay, right Derpy?” I asked carefully.
The pegasus nodded. “Yeah-huh. I came flying over this way right after I got Dinky and Sparkler in the basement. Oh, I hope they’re still alright.”
With that little worry, I had one of my own: Sunset. If something was attacking Ponyville, there was a chance she could be in danger. I had left her with a pair of changelings to help her get around, but they weren’t really there for her protection. If that were the case, I would have sent one of the single digits to look after my newfound child.
“I can assure you they are Ms Derpy,” Celestia’s calm voice cut in. “Now, take a moment to calm down, and tell us everything you know about what’s going on.”
The sight of what was in every way but on paper an official goddess of Equestria did a lot to help Derpy relax. Not that her nerves disappeared completely, but I could Smell it helped a lot. “Okay…well, it started out a morning like any other I guess,” she began.
“I woke up the girls and started making breakfast while Dinky got ready for school and Sparkler got ready for work. But when we went outside, I saw there were these strange cocoons all over town that weren’t there the night before. At first, everypony just thought they were something the changelings made. There must have been over a hundred of them!”
“Uh…Fairy?” Rainbow asked as she flew up over me. “Did doing…well, you make you start making foals or something? Because, you said you couldn’t do that.”
I got a little annoyed at the question. “You mean eggs Dash, not cocoons. Cocoons are made when one type of already moving around animal. If I was going to make bobbies, I’d lay eggs.” Which I wasn’t, ever.
It wasn’t a manly pride thing. It had more to do with the fact the changelings were a sadistic race of monsters that needed to die. Even if I did mature and start making more, they would just be turned evil by the influence of all the others. The only reason I had resisted was because I had knowledge that said ponies weren’t to be used as food.
Twilight stepped forward. “How big were the cocoons?”
Derpy paused to think. “Uh, about as big as a pony.”
When Twilight looked over to me, I might have started to get just the least bit annoyed with the accusation that was coming. “Okay…I know it's not your changelings Fae,” she told me, disproving my assumption. “But…is possible there’s another changeling hive out there?”
“Oh! They’re not changeling cocoons princess!” Derpy explained with a happy face.
“And there is no other hive or anything like that,” I added. “Chrysalis was the only pony changeling ever made, and she made all the others.”
Apparently ignoring m, Twilight looked back to Derpy. “What makes you say that?”
“Because of what was inside,” Derpy answered.
We all shared a look at the non-answer. “Which was?” Rainbow finally prompted when we were done.
“Ponies!” Derpy told us with just a little bit of happiness, or maybe it was just her normal tone. It was kind of hard to tell with her being so fucking adorable I wanted to snatch her up in a hug and never let her go. “Oh, and dragons, and diamond dogs, and a bunch of other things I thought only existed in those stories I read to Dinkie during her bedtime.”
That sounds an awful lot like changeling cocoons, actually. I admitted to myself. Except for the dragons I mean. Those guys didn’t have enough love in their entire race to fill up a matchbox. “Okay so…something carried a bunch of cocoons into Ponyville with a bunch of captured dragons, grabbed some ponies in the night, and…what? Left them alone for other ponies to just let them out?” Call me crazy, but that didn’t seem all that malicious. Certainly not something worth Derpy flying to my castle to report a code red.
“No we didn’t let anything out, they all just started hatching!” Derpy explained.
Once again, I had a hard time seeing just how in the hell this was an emergency. “Oh-kay. Still not seeing why this is so bad then Derpy.”
“Because a lot of them were mean!” she explained with a frown. “I mean, a few of the ponies that popped out were heroes like Daring Do and Lancelot, but there were way more bad ponies like Maleficent, the Maneiac, Dr Doom, Low Key, Bad Horse, and Caballeron!”
I frowned at the list of names that Derpy just dropped as it tingled some old memories of mine. Not just the stuff I got when I became a quadruped either, but the ones before that. And…okay, I had found out long before showing Tia the Game of Thrones show that Equestria had a lot of pony persons of human stories, especially the older ones like Snow White. But from the list that Derpy was rattling off…
Before I could piece together my thought’s Rainbow Dash cut in. “Wait, you’re saying Daring Do brought some sort of freaky artifact to town that made all these storybook characters come to life or something?”
“Uh Rainbow,” Twilight spoke up, her sick stomach showing on her slightly green face. “I don’t think that’s what’s going on. Remember what happened when we last saw Cabalaron?”
My own memory brought me back to that moment at Twilight’s urging. The temple. The flooding room. The piranha. And the little baby pony that was thrown to his death. If I had a working stomach, I probably would have felt sick.
The pegasus flinched. “Oh yeah.”
As the three of us wrestled with the memory of when Equestria turned dark for me. Celestia stepped forward with an intense look in her eyes. “Tell me Ms Derpy, is it simply characters from fictional books that are coming to life, or are the creatures emerging from these pods also historical in nature?”
“Uh…what do you mean Princess?”
If Celestia cared about the slip on Derpy’s part, she didn’t let it show. “Are there any real ponies that have things written about them coming to life as well? Such as...Starswirl the Bearded, for example.”
Twilight let out a gasp. “Oh my gosh! Celestia that’s-”
“Hey, Daring Do is real,” Rainbow Dash spoke up.
“-amazing! I never even considered that! Do you think we’ll be able to meet him? What was he like? Do you think I can get his autograph?”
I would have told Twilight to calm down. But as I had a picture with Rainbow’s hoof print on it stored away in my man cave next to the shit loads of pony figures, my coronation dress, and a bunch of other girly shit really made me wonder how my special room manage to keep its manly title, anything I said would carry the taint of hypocrisy.
“Starswirl is not the pony I was worried about meeting Twilight,” Celestia said as I caught a whiff of her fear bubbling to the surface before she started looking to the sky with a frown.
The smaller alicorn blinked. “Worried? What pony would possibly worry you?”
“That one,” Celestia replied as she motioned her head up.
I turned around, and squinted my eyes at the tiny dot on the horizon. “I don’t see what-”
My complaint about not understand why Tia was so worried about ended when the speck disappeared in a flash of magic, and then reappeared over fifty feet away to come in for a sliding landing so quickly she skidded to a stop, tearing up the courtyard to do so.
In all honesty, the artists of MLP really didn’t do the alicorn I was looking at very much justice.
The full-sized horse in front of us stood equal in stature with Celestia, with a dark blue helmet covering most of her features and matching regalia. Her coat was actually blacker than the night I was used to, and seemed to make the air around her just a little bit darker from its very presence. Her wings were spread wide, and there was definite contrast between her sleek plumage that was obviously designed for speed, and Celestia’s thick layers of feathers that promised warmth and comfort to those she brought under them. Slit eyes that belonged to a predator capable of moving through the darkness as easily as it was daylight frowned at the lot of us, while a horn that looked more like a spiral seashell than the thinning cylinder with indentions Celestia sported topped her head. The final difference was the hair. While Celestia’s aurora spread out like a curtain promising warmth, protection, and safety to all it covered, the black alicorn’s moved around like a wild animal getting ready to pounce on its prey.
“Oh…horse apples,” I squeaked as I looked upon Nightmare Moon in all her glory.
The dark alicorn of a slow and painful freezing death in the coldness of eternal night stepped forward and smiled. Sharp teeth that looked like they belonged in the mouth of a shark rather than a pony shone in her open mouth as she spoke. “Hello sister.”