//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 // Story: How I Got Your Mother To Love Me // by Evowizard25 //------------------------------// Spike walked through the streets of Ponyville, with his three daughters in tow. Because of his large size, he tried making sure he didn't trample any of his neighbors. 'Hopefully, Berry Punch is doing well.' He thought. He cringed a bit, remembering his previous encounter with the town drunk. 'Wow, that's pushing it. Town drunk is taking it too far.' He reprimanded himself. "Daddy," Sapphire spoke up. "Where are we going?" Spike lowered his head. "Over to Bon-Bon's sweetie." He told her. "I need to pick up an order for your mother." "Oooh." Sapphire said. "Yeah, we know already." Ruby said, rather annoyed. She kept looking around every which way as they strolled through town. "Are we there yet?" Jessebelle smirked. "Nervous about seeing your coltfriend I see?" She said. Ruby blushed. "He's not my coltfriend." She said. "I just like him is all. I had a great time over at his place yesterday." "I bet you were smooching it up." Jessebelle said, before she made kissing motions with her mouth. Sapphire laughed, as Ruby ducked her head away. "Maybe a little." Ruby said. "WHAT!" Spike roared, his eyes going wide. His eyes narrowed and smoke fumed out of his nostrils. He looked down at his daughter, who cowered a bit. "You, him, in one place, WHAT?" He looked around town. "Ooh, that boy is so dead." "Nothing happened." Ruby shot at him. Spike raised an eyebrow. "Nothing?" He asked. "Nothing at all?" Ruby nodded. Spike stopped fuming and then noticed the scared Ponyvillians cowering, or skittering off. "Ah, it's seems I blew my top again, didn't I?" The girls nodded. "And you got mad too." Sapphire said, sniffling. 'No, not her.' Spike thought. He never took favorites, but Sapphire was always the most sensitive of the three. He automatically started nuzzling her. "No, don't cry." He said. "Daddy was just being a big meany pants." Sapphire wiped away a tear. "Tell you what. I'll get you all a large bag of treats. Your pick." Sapphire smiled and hugged him. "Thank you, daddy." She said. "You're welcome, princess." Spike said. The screen paused and Princess Celestia walked on screen. She turned to the audience. "Yes, I would like to call your attention to the last statement." She raised a hoof, holding a stick, and pointed it at the last line. "Sapphire is not a Princess, nor does she have any royal blood in her. If she did, she'd be living in Canterlot, in a palace, surrounded by a bunch of..." Celestia snapped out of her daydream. "I mean, servants. I was going to say servants." "No you weren't." Princess Luna said, walking up to her. "Quiet sister." Celestia hushed her. "There are kids watching." Luna looked to the audience. "Wait, we're on T.V.?" She said, before smiling. She waved at everyone. "Hi, faithful followers and or citizens. It is I, your Princess of the night, Luna." Suddenly, her eyes bugged out. "My mane. I should have brushed. Now they all think I have a bed head." "Sis, our manes don't work like that." Celestia said, before Luna silenced her by raising a hoof. "I have to go put on my things." Luna said. "Be right back." She ran off. Celestia face hoofed and motioned for the show to continue. "And that's why line breaks were made." Pinkie Pie said. Spike just looked at her. "Okay, why are you here and what does that have to do with anything?" He asked. "Can't talk now." Pinkie said. "I already had a chapter and I'm also getting a spin off story." She jumped up in the air and cheered. "I'm going to throw the biggest spin off story party ever." She bounced off. Spike sighed. 'Pinkie is being Pinkie again.' He thought. He continued until he got to Bon-Bon's bakery. She opened the door and smiled at them. "Oh, please come in." She said. Spike nodded and walked in, with his daughters in tow. "The usual." He said. "And a large bag for each of my girls." "Will do." Bon-Bon said, before going into the back. His little girls went over to the counter, looking over the candy. As he looked around, he noticed a familiar brown Earth Pony. "Erwen?" Spike said. "Is that you?" "And who would..." Erwen said in his usual Australian accent, before taking a good look at Spike. He smiled. "Spike. It's been too long." "Yeah, it has." Spike said, sitting down beside him. He noticed a mark on his right front leg. "Say, how'd you get that one? I thought you just handled alligators." Erwen frowned. "Not anymore." He said. "I retired." He raised a glass of milk and drank from it. "WHAT!" Spike said, rather surprised. "But you loved your job." "I loved my kids more." Erwen said, slamming his drink into the table. The three girls turned their attention to him. "And I wasn't going to just let them grow up without a father." Spike was silent for a moment. "Daddy," Sapphire said, tugging on his arm. "Who is he?" "The name's Erwen." Erwen said. "Back in the day, I was the best wildlife specialist in Equestria. Me and Spike hung out a few times." "Which I thank you for." Spike said, nodding. A few old memories flashed in his mind. "So, how'd you get that mark?" Ruby said, pointing to the scar on his leg. "It probably has some cool backstory or something." Erwen tensed up and Spike saw it. "Ruby." He snapped. "It's not nice to ask questions like that." "Nah, its fine." Erwen said, raising a hoof to calm him down. "I'll just tell 'em." He turned to the kids. "You see, I was busy filming a documentary. Now, I've done quite a few in my time, so I wanted to do something different. I haven't the slightest idea where I got this idea, but I decided to jump onto a stingray." He hung his head. "Rather stupid in hindsight." He shook his head. "Anyways, right before I was about to jump, a sea serpent crashed into the side of the boat." The girls gasped. "Knocked me right into the ocean. I missed the stingray, but its tail pierced my leg." He wiggled his front leg a bit. "The serpent apologized. He seemed to have had a little too much to drink." He scoffed. "Bloody pirates. They shouldn't go around selling drinks like that to sea serpents, but I'd thank them if I found the ones that sold the serpent his liquor. I wouldn't be here if they hadn't." He sighed. "After that, I just retired, went back home and settled." He pushed his drink away. "I just came to Ponyville for a few things." He looked over at Spike. "But what brings you here?" "Oh, just some sweets for the wife." Spike said. Erwen chuckled. "We think alike." He said. "Not always." Spike said, pointing a finger at him. Erwen held up his hooves in mock defense. "But it was to impress that sweet lass." He said. "You enjoyed it, remember." Ruby's eyes sparkled. 'Oh dear.' Spike thought. 'Another story.' "Please tell us." She said. "I'd be happy too." Erwen said. "It was a sunny day, like any other…" Erwen sneaked his way through the outskirts of Canterlot. He trailed through the bushes, looking for any stray alligators. "Stray alligators?" Jessebelle asked, raising an eyebrow. "In Canterlot. Really?" Erwen nodded his head. "Some ponies think they can keep exotic pets." He said. "It doesn't take too long, before they grow tired of them and throw them away. Those are the most fierce beasts you'll meet. For their hearts are broken." "That's so sad." Sapphire said, nuzzling against her father for comfort. "It is." Erwen said. "And it was my job to hunt them down and capture them. You know, to take them to Celestia. She has a big garden where she keeps critters like that. I could take you someday, but I have to warn you. The creatures don't take kindly to ponies and will usually run away." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As he walked along, he came across a young purple dragon. He was just standing there, gazing effectionally at something. He walked over and sat next to him. He followed the lizard's gaze, until he came across a beautiful unicorn. His eyes lit up. 'Say, I recognize her.' He thought, before taking a closer look at the dragon next to him. "Say, I know you." He said. The young dragon jumped back in fright. "What?" He said. "Oh, it's you. Don't sneak up on me like that." "Comes with the job." Erwen said, shrugging. "Anyways, how's it going with that gal of yours?" Spike blushed and looked away. "Still working on it." He said. "Well, I think I know the perfect way to get her attention." Erwen said. "What is it?" Spike asked. "Gator wrestling." Erwen said. Spike stared at him for a moment. "You're insane." He said, pointing a finger at him. "Well, you're single." Erwen said. "Touché." Spike said, crossing his arms. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Dad," Ruby said. "You didn't tell us you wrestled an alligator. That's so cool." "It wasn't so cool when that thing kept thrashing about." Spike grumbled. "That's the best part." Erwen said. "You weren't complaining when she was watching." "I did afterwards." Spike shot at him. "That and a guilty conscious." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spike took a deep breath as he walked up to Twilight. 'Okay. I just have to go in and tell Twilight about some gators are by the lake. It's a good thing she's taking a course in Biology.' He thought. Twilight was writing a thesis for the class about alligators, so she played right into his hands. Twilight looked up from her book as he approached. "Yes, Spike." She said. "Remember that report you're writing." Spike said, gulping. "The one about gators." "Yes, what about it?" Twilight said, cocking her head to the side. Spike had to admit, she was cute when she did that. "Well, there are some gators down by the lake." He said. "That's perfect." Twilight said, standing up. "What better way to study them then in their natural habitat." She walked over to the bookcase. "I'll just grab some items, get Lollipop, and head down to the lake." When she wasn't looking, Spike fist pumped. 'Victory.' He thought. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Little did I know that he'd be there." Spike said, narrowing his eyes. A soft growl escaped his lips. "Who?" Ruby asked. "We're getting to him." Erwen said. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Erwen waited for the young dragon to return. "So, did you do it?" He asked. Spike nodded. "Great job." He patted him on the shoulder. "Now, that's done. We can get to work on the gators." "Uh, shouldn't we wait until Lollipop gets here?" Spike said. "Well, she's already here." Erwen said, pointing to a pair of unicorn ponies approaching. Spike turned around and his eyes bugged out. He ducked down into a bush. Erwen chuckled. "Stop being a scaredy dragon." He dragged him out of his hiding place. "You need to get over this fear of yours if you want to impress your sheila." Erwen turned back a moment more to spy some unicorn guy coming along. 'Probably some rif raf.' He thought. The three of them got awfully close to the shore. "So, where's the alligator?" Spike asked, but was answered when a large gator came splashing out of the water and onto the shore. He gasped when he realized the alligator was within a few feet of Twilight and Lollipop. "We have to do something." He grabbed hold of Erwen's leg and shook him. Erwen just smiled. "All according to plan." He said. "What?" Spike said. Erwen didn't answer him. Instead, he grabbed hold of him and threw him onto the gator. He landed on its back. The gator thrashed about, walking around in circles, trying to get at him. "Spike!" Twilight cried in fear. "What are you doing? Get off of that alligator." But Spike wasn't listening. He was too busy hanging onto the gator's tail. Erwen could see the dragon was having some trouble with the alligator. 'Probably should have chosen one around his size.' He thought. So, he jumped into action, quickly leaping onto the gator's back. He hooked his front hooves around the creature's neck. As the gator thrashed, he noticed a mound of dirt not far away. 'She's nesting. Why didn't I see that earlier? Come on Erwen, you don't normally miss things that obvious.' The gator thrashed its tail against the mound, sending Spike flying onto Twilight and an egg rolling down into the river. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pinkie Pie sighed, as she lied next to a river. She'd just came back from a pet party and was feeling a bit down. She saw how everyone was having fun with their pets and how much they loved each other. "I wish I had one." She said. "I don't care what it is. I'd love it all the same." Just then, she noticed a small white sphere roll up on shore next to her. "Huh," She said, walking over to it. The egg started to hatch, cracking the shell around the youngling. Pinkie smiled. "Come out. The world's waiting for you." The egg broke apart to reveal a baby alligator. Pinkie Pie squeeled in delight and hugged the gator to her body. "Aren't you just the cutest wutest baby gator ever." She cooed. The alligator just stared absentmindedly, before biting her. She giggled, lifting it up so she could see it. "Aww, you don't have any teeth." She said. "But that's okay. Treats are all softy, so you don't need them." She gasped. "You don't have a name yet." She was silent for a moment, something Pinkie Pie rarely did. "I got it. Gummy." She hugged him again. "We're going to be bestest friends forever." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The alligator went back into the water. Erwen wiped his brow. "Whooo, that gator put up a doozy of a fight." He said. He looked over at the group. "Are you all okay?" They nodded. "Fine." Twilight said, before looking at Spike. "What were you thinking, taking on a fully grown alligator. You could have gotten killed. You are grounded, young dragon. You will stay in the library for the next week." She hugged him. "I couldn't live with myself if that happened." "I say it was really brave." Lollipop said. The gray, white maned unicorn scoffed. His cutie mark was ship. "Oh, you're just jealous." "Umm, who's he?" Spike asked. Before he could answer, the alligator burst out of the water at full speed. Its jaws were opened wide, as it lunged at them. The new unicorn narrowed his eyes. His horn sparked into life. The gator stopped in mid charge while, it's body was held by his magic. The next moment, it was flung back into the water. The girls then huddled against him. "That was amazing." Twilight said. "I've never seen anything like it." Lollipop said. "It wasn't that impressive." Spike said, narrowing his eyes. "That was downright mean of him." Erwen said. "She was just protecting her eggs." "Oh, sorry about that." The unicorn said, but his tone carried a hint of sarcasm. Erwen growled. "The names Khan by the way." He lent out a hoof, but Erwen didn't take it. "Charmed." "He's asked me to the Grand Galloping Gala this year." Lollipop squeeled in delight. Spike's eyes went wide. "What?" He said. "Yeah." Khan smirked. "I did." "I wish some colt would take me there." Twilight said, sighing. "Don't worry." Lollipop said. "I'm sure some stallion would see past your eggheadiness." She giggled. Twilight frowned and sent her a small glare. "Thanks." She said. "You're welcome." Lollipop said, as she and Khan walked away. Erwen looked to Spike who was standing motionless. "Umm, are you okay?" He asked. Spike nodded. "I just need a moment." He said. Erwen and Twilight left. Spike took a deep breath and yelled. "KHAN!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, on the moon. Nightmare Moon was cackling. "And after I defeat my sister, I shall banish her to the sun." She said. "Let's see how she like it." "KHAAAN!" A loud voice carried about. Nightmare Moon looked about. "What was that?" She said, before holding a hoof to her head. "Get it together girl. You're loosing it. Now, you're hearing voices." She stomped a hoof onto the moon surface. "But I haven't lost it." She turned a large rock. "Have I Rocky?" She asked, knowing the answer was no. Her eyes went wide. "What do you mean yes? I'm not crazy…What do you mean talking to a rock is ludicrous." She then put her hooves over her ears. "LALALA, I'm not listening. LALALALA!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Wow!" Ruby said. "You must have been mad." "I was furious." Spike said, before he grinned. "But that wasn't the last time I would see him." "Nor would it be the last time we'd meet." Erwen said. He then got up and grabbed a bag by his chair. "Well, it's been nice talking with you, old friend. See you around." "Yeah, see you." Spike said. "Oh, and be sure to show us some of your moves." Ruby called after him. "Will do." Erwen said. "Not the dangerous ones." Spike said. "Wouldn't dream of it." Erwen answered. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Another chapter bites the dust." I said. Pinkie Pie appeared next to me with a music player. She pushed the button and played the song. "Another one bites the dust." It sang. I quickly turned it off. "No, we are not doing that this chapter." I said. "The fourth wall breaking will be kept to a minimum." "Ahh, but where's the fun in that?" Pinkie Pie said. "Yeah," Discord appeared. "Where's the fun in that?" "You're not supposed to be here yet." I said, pointing a hoof at him. "That's for another chapter." I put my hooves over my mouth. "Spoilers." Discord said, before he chuckled. He disappeared. I growled, glaring dagger at him. "DISCORD!" I yelled shaking a hoof in the air in rage.