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// Chapter 8-Deal With It.JPG 
// Story: Not On Earth Anymore 
// by Jack Jester 
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I reached the castle after about a hour of hiking. The castle was...less than I expected. It was in ruins, but I could get by that. I was also void of any life. Even the animals were afraid to go inside. Not a bad thing but a little lonely. After going inside I saw it needed a big clean-up job. Now THAT was where I drew the line. A super hero should not have to be reduced to doing his own cleaning. That was what maids were for and as everyone knows, all GOOD super heroes have maids. I mean take...well I guess thats not a good example. What about...hm. Or maybe.... Know what? Never mind. Point is, cleaning was for losers.

So after finding out the castle was a complete bust I climbed a tree to not wallow in misery for 20 minutes. Then after not crying myself into a nap, I woke up and looked for food. Even super heroes need to eat. What to eat though? As if to answer my thoughts, I heard a loud roar from under the tree. It was a bear! A actual bear! Not a stupid unicorn, not a stupid Scorpioliogon, not a wolf made of wood, not anything like that! EDIBLE MEAT! I readied to pounce like a cougar in a tree, waiting for its prey. When the bear put its head to a bush and sniffed for berries, I pounced.

"BANZAI MOTHER HUBBER!!"

In retrospect, perhaps jumping on something that evolved to throw boulders wasnt my best idea. I grabbed me and threw me into the tree I leaped from. The beast lifted its huge arms and brought them down on me. Its claws tore into and ripped apart my flesh while the sheer force of the hits bruised my bones jiggled my brain in its happy little cage. As it lowered its head to take a nibble out of me, it put my hands in its mouth and pulled in opposite directions. The bear's jaw were incredibly strong and the teeth hurt to grab onto, but I kept pulling.


...


Lunch, dinner, breakfast, and lunch again. I looked down at the bear. It was food...but knowing I had taken its life felt wrong. I felt dirty, empty inside. Empty. It was just...hunger. Yeah, thats all it was. I feasted on the bear while my cuts and bruises healed. Even after the event my bones still achy. I should be more careful from now on. I should also build a fire. Raw meat is absolutely disgusting. I cant explain how many times I nearly became empty again just biting that.

I looked into the sky. The sun burned with such light. Friendly clouds covered some of it, forming cool shadows on the ground. For once, everything was clear for me. I could feel the wind blow on my face and whistle through the leaves of the trees. The birds chirped from their nests, bugs buzzed looking for food, landing on my food. I waved them away. Maybe finding a way to store the bear should be first priority. Maybe the castle would be good; that had no animals in it.

I lifted the bear over my shoulder and limped back to my original destination. The castle was still dusty, but animal and fly free. Upon second look, it wasnt actually half bad. The dust could be dealt with after a long debate with my mind. The roof could save me from rain and there were even huge banners. I tugged on my pants which were practically in rags now. They were barely serving one of their two purposes as it was.

At first, I tried jumping and grabbing for the banners. They were really high up.... The candle rods actually made a fairly nice stand. When stacked, they were just high enough to make a grab for the cloth overhead. Good, now I had fabric. ...Next?

Sewing wasnt for super heroes. I ripped it up into shreds and wove them into a cloak of sorts. A very simple one with the sorriest excuse for a hood one might ever see. At least I wasnt half naked anymore. Pfft, more than I can say for the ponies. Did they even have any decency? Rainbow Dash even seemed to revel in it! I'd like to see them spend a week in the human world. Wait, scratch that idea. They'd probably be given apples and get patted.

I just cant win.