//------------------------------// // Love is a Battlefield (Round 2) // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Advisory: Set your "Formatting" in the top right to "Dark" for best reading experience. Thank you. A/N: *This chapter may contain slight spoilers to the episode "Princess Spike" from Season 5. Viewer discretion is advised. Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, and Nintendo. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 4 Episode 3 I just love it when there's a new episode of these things. Don't you? You know what I hate more than a helpless damsel in distress? Absolutely nothing! You may want to hold off a bit on your rant, because the demanding princesses today aren't as helpless as you might think. I feel like we've been here before. Have we been here before? Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom will face Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire. He's W and I'm B. And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Princess Peach -AKA Princess Toadstool -Resourceful, athletic, technical -Arsenal: Tennis racket, golf club, frying pan, turnips, Perry the Parasol -Heart Power: indefinite floating, healing, and sleep-inducing lambs -Some powers are boosted by her emotions -Mega Strike Empress Peach -Dispels evil magic -Needs rescuing on a daily basis; gratitude doesn't extend very far "Let's make a delicious cake for Mario." Peach is the primary ruler of the long-standing Mushroom Kingdom who depends on technique and finesse over raw power. Too bad these traits aren't enough to stop Bowser and other enemies from kidnapping her in almost every other game. Still, you've got to give her props for surviving Nintendo's biggest death trap: Mario Party. *shivers* Stop... I'm getting the chills. Anyway, Peach's participation in a number of sports has given her the experience and the weapons of each one. Who brings a tennis racket and a frying pan to a battlefield? I mean, come on! But that's not nearly as weird as pulling out small white turnips out of her- She also wields a parasol by the name of Perry, who carries magical properties. Speaking of magic, Peach can be used to counter evil and wields Heart Power, perfect for healing wounds and summoning lambs to send her enemies back to daycare. Nighty-night, turtles. Additionally, her emotions can create powerful effects due to the Vibe Scepter's influence. BAH... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You're never going to let that one go, are you? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! A scepter vibrator. Ha ha ha... *Ahem* In spite of her ability to kick an opponent so hard that it can obliterate a human's head, she requires somebody else to rescue her on a regular basis. Often times, the few victories she does rack up are against opponents she could not feasibly defeat on her own. What about Zelda? What about Zelda? "Did I win?" ---Death Battle--- Princess Cadance -Full Name: Princess Mi Amore Cadenza -Species: Alicorn (formerly Pegasus) -Below average physical strength and flight stamina -Magic: Levitation, force fields, beams, love restoration, magic transfer, *crystallization -Quick thinking and insightful -Easily bored -Has been kidnapped by an impostor before -Can get tired and hungry just like any other pony "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves and do a little shake." There are the kidnapped, there are the independent, and then there's Mi Amore Cadenza. Please, she prefers Cadance. Much of this princess's history is veiled in mystery. All that the sources can seem to agree on is that she ascended from a pegasus pony after unlocking the secret to the Crystal Heart Spell. There seems to be a weird tradition of coronating princesses in Equestria before they actually receive a kingdom. I mean, Cadance was a princess in Season 2, but didn't get her land until Season 3. Twilight became a princess in Season 3, but didn't get her castle until Season 4. What, did Celestia and Luna get crowned princesses before they first discovered the land of Everfree? Questionable order of events aside, Cadance has been shown to be quick-witted and capable of directing her people. Even when she is called to battle herself, she isn't your typical pink-dressed princess. She hardly ever dresses at all! While her flying and physical strength don't quite match up to Celestia's and Luna's, Cadance's arsenal of spells is vast and powerful. Her most common spell is that of love-based magic. It does not make ponies fall in love. Rather, it reminds existing lovers of the importance in their relationship. It's so strong that it can even dispel a changeling's brainwashing. She can also fire magic beams and put up force fields that can ward off evil and sickness. No really. They keep out the germs. But her title of Crystal Princess is not just for flare. After much training, she has been able to figure out a spell that can turn an entire mainline full of water into solid crystals of multiple shades of red and blue. Ha ha! Take that, physics! Despite all of this power at her disposal, she isn't invincible. Holding up a shield that surrounds the Crystal Empire for days without proper sleep and food will wear her down. Not to mention, she has been kidnapped at least once, just like many other princesses. But I pity any who would be foolish enough to mess with her husband or sister-in-law, especially when she's bored. "We may not see each other very often, but I know you'll always be there when I need you." ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. It's time for a Death Battle! ... Round 2! ---Death Battle--- A blonde princess lies on the grass. Though, a few blinks of her eyes wipe the tiny valentines away. She sits up and looks around, humming questioningly. The sound of flapping wings catches her attention as she swiftly turns to where the camera pans right. A pink, pony princess flies in. "Sorry, I completely forgot you were still here," apologizes the pony. "Are you okay?" The first combatant's eyes burn furiously, as does the very air around her. "I guess not." A drop of sweat hangs briefly against the pony's head. "FIGHT!" Peach yanks up several turnips and tosses them one at a time. Cadance spins around. Her translucent, magic force field shimmers each time a turnip collides with it. Luckily for her, all of the vegetables bounce off that force field without disturbing the overall dome shape. Cadance opens her wings and takes to the sky. She aims a blast of magic down at an angle. Quickly, Peach opens up her parasol and lifts straight up. She floats along through the air for a while. Cadance tries to fly under and take another shot. However, Peach's quick footwork against her opponent's head denies the pony that chance. The Mushroom Kingdom's princess swaps out her parasol for her tennis racket and aims herself to slam it downward. But the Crystal Princess immediately notices before rolling away to the side. The tennis racket ends up slapping nothing but dirt. Peach quickly follows up by twisting herself into a launch, hip-first. Her keister kicks Cadance's quarters and sends the pony sliding. Peach activates her Heart Power and several lambs appear in the sky. Cadance quickly gallops from side to side, dodging each lamb within inches. There's a bit of slow motion just as she comes within Peach's personal bubble. But just as the gloved hand grabs hold of a frying pan, a pink hoof smacks Peach's face. After taking a few spins, Peach finally regains some balance of her body. However, the pain isn't gone. Droplets start to pool under her eyes. In the next second, she has become a fountain of tears that are spilling all around her. They threaten to create a saline, flash flood. Cadance's horn glows brightly as she stares unflinchingly at her opponent. The tears suddenly solidify into a mix of different-colored rocks. Peach opens her eyes wide. Her irises roll back into her head as a mess of crystals suddenly sprout out from her orifices. Soon, the only things recognizable on Peach are her blonde hair and pink dress. "It had to be done," says Cadance as she turns around and closes her eyes. "K.O.!" ---Death Battle--- Holy *ess*! Why do the most horrifying deaths happen by means of the harmless looking fighters? As it was with the first time we had these two compete, most of their magic couldn't directly kill the other. However, that all changes when you consider Cadance's ability to turn liquid water into solid crystal as depicted in the "Princess Spike" episode. Despite her superhuman feats, Peach is for all intents and purposes a human. According to basic chemistry and anatomy, the human body is comprised of a large percentage of water. With a spell that can target an entire water main and transform the gist of that water into a crystal structure, it wouldn't take that much more concentration to effect all of the water inside of Peach. It'd take even less effort considering how often Peach's main method of dealing with pain is to cry about it. Those tears may be good for tripping up weaker enemies, but not a flying pony. And considering the amount of abuse Cadance has been able to survive in the past, there was no question that she could take Peach's punishment and still fight on. It's too bad for Peach that her water broke. The winner is Princess Cadance. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Side Battle... "It's no fun anymore! There's got to be somebody out there that can put up a challenge." ---