Well, least I can tell T an' M 'bout the cats tryin' to kill 'em. thought Franklin Clinton as rode up to the house in El Burro Heights. He was exhausted. It had already been a really long day. First thing that had happened wasn't too bad; as a matter of fact, it was great! He, Micheal De Santa (the formerly retired bank robber who had family issues), Trevor Philips (the psychotic hipster drug dealer who killed, ate, and raped both men and women), Lester Crest (the nasally challenged handicapped hacker whose house he was walking up to), and some other dudes had just hit the largest holding bank on the West Coast: the Union Depository. Not only did they get the metal without any huge problems, but thanks to Micheal's clever hiring choices, Franklin's, Micheal's, and Trevor's cuts of the score were at least $40,000,000.
Then came the worse part. When Franklin had gotten to his home in the Rockford Hills (which had been bought by Lester and given to Franklin for tax purposes), Devin Weston, that rich asshole who scammed him and his crew on a bunch of high-end cars, came by and told him that he had one of three options: kill Micheal for Devin, kill Trevor for Steve Haines (some corrupt, angry muthafucka from the FIB), or die trying to save them.
But there was no way he was gonna kill one of his homies. Franklin always said that he didn't care if he died, as long as he died for something that matters. And Micheal and Trevor, they matter (to him, anyway).
Now, Lester had called them all to his house, saying he had found something that could potentially change the world for the greater good. Prob'ly gonna be some plan to raise the stock price of Cool Beans, or somthin' like that. Franklin chuckled to himself as he entered house
The front door opened with a loud creak, accompanied by the tinny sound of a barking dog, and Franklin walked in to find Lester playing a video game (Righteous Slaughter 7), while Micheal and Trevor sat on the bed, watching.
"What's crackin'?" Asked Franklin as the others took notice of his arrival.
"Well, look who it is! Our favorite gangbanger!" As he yelled this, Trevor made a massive gesture with his hands.
Micheal rolled his eyes and raised his fist to Franklin, "Hey, everything cool?"
"Eh, not exactly, man..." Franklin began.
"Why? What's wrong?" Before he could get an answer, however, Lester turned off the game.
"Alright, gentlemen... And Trevor."
"Hey, fuck you!"
"I've called you today because I've made a big find."
"Really? I thought we were here to watch you beat up terrorists with a turd on a stick."
Lester, ignoring Micheal's sarcastic comment, went on,"I can't really confirmed anything, but I'm sure that what I've found... Is a portal to another dimension!"
The other three guys laughed before eventually realizing he was being serious.
"Lester, you've officially gone crazier than Trevor."
"Shit, I ain't too sure how I feel about that, dog."
"I call bullshit."
"Oh, bullshit, is it? Well, what about the pictures of she-demons and flying sea pony-like creatures, hm? How else can you explain that?"
"Some kid coulda photoshopped 'em..."
"Or they could of been high."
Micheal buried his face in his hand, "Trevor, you can't take a photo of something that you hallucinate."
"Oh. Well, that explains why Ron asked me why I sent him pictures of my penis."
Lester went on, trying to forget those last three comments, "How about the 200 adults and elders who SWORE that they saw a rainbow vortex AND a blinding horse-shaped light?" Lester looked around the room, "Anyone? No? That's what I thought."
"Ok! We believe you!" Micheal exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air.
"So what's the deal, man?" Franklin asked.
"There's this town to the West, called Canterlot. Apparently, there's been some really weird stuff going on with their high school. Two incidents, to be exact. One right in front of the school, one over at the local stage, which the school was using at the time. A lot of the info that was here before is gone, deleted by whoever posted it. But from what I was able to gather, there's a portal to an alternate universe somewhere on the school campus, and there's this group of friends that are in the center of it all." Lester rattled off the information like a computer, which wasn't surprising, considering he spent most of his time on one.
"Woah, hold on," Trevor raised a finger towards Lester, "how do you know all this, anyway?"
"A ton of kids Bleeted about it."
"If you've just witnessed proof of alien existence, why would you post pictures of it on the Internet? That's like posting pictures of yourself with big guns and weed; you're just yelling 'Come get me, assholes!"
"Well, why do you feel the need to eat human flesh?"
Before Trevor could retort, Micheal cut him off, "That's a little vague, Lest.Is there anything else?"
Lester looked through his files, "Uhhh, yeah. According to these kids, the location on the other side is called Equestria. And yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm not the one who came up with it. The group of important kids is a girl band, called the Rainbooms."
Man, that shit sound gay as fuck. Franklin thought to himself. Then again, this is a bunch of teenage girls we talkin' about.
"I managed to get a list of the band's members." Lester flipped a couple of pages, "Let's see here... Aha! The names are Sunset Shimmer, Rainbowdash, Applejack, Pinkemina Diane Pie (AKA Pinkie Pie), Fluttershy, Rarity, and, for a short time, another girl named Twilight Sparkle."
"Do we know what they look like?" Asked Micheal.
"Yeah, I'm bringing up a picture now. According to the comments following it on Bleeter, this was taken just after the second incident, the Battle of the Bands" When the picture showed up, everyone immediately focused on the faces, even Lester, surprisingly.
"I'm surprised you didn't look for anything dirty, Lester the Molester."
"Oh, I did, Trevor the... Trevor. And I found it. I'm just not sharing it with you." Lester laughed creepily.
"Can we just go back to studying their faces, please?"
After memorizing each girl's face, Franklin looked down, and felt the pressure build up in his mouth. Don't do it. he told himself. Don't you fucking do it, Frank.
Despite his best efforts, Franklin soon found himself laughing hysterically, with the others looking at him.
"The fuck you laughing about?" Asked Micheal, confused.
Franklin held his laughter back just long enough to say, "Eh, look at they clothes, man!"
The other guys looked at the picture again, this time taking notice of the ridiculous outfits the girls were wearing, and started laughing as well.
"Who designed those outfits, a six year old?" Wheezed Lester.
"They look dumber than Trevor when he wears that flower dress!" Yelled Micheal.
Lester's laugh soon turned into a cough, so they all decided to stop. "Okay, on a more serious note, there's a lot more info that you need to know, but I can tell you most of it later. What I need to tell you right now is which two particular girls are 'of interest': Sunset Shimmer," He pointed out the bacon-haired girl, "and Twilight Sparkle." He pointed to the purple-haired girl in the front.
"Why are these two so 'interesting'?" Asked Trevor, making the "quote-on-quote" gesture.
"Yeah, they just look like a couple a regular 17-year-old girls to me." Said Franklin.
"Well for one thing, according to FIB records, Sunset Shimmer never made it to her 17th birthday!"
"What?!"
"Yeah, it says here that she and her parents died in a car crash when she was just a toddler."
"Man, that's rough."
"Yeah, rough and weird."
"Please don't say that ever again."
"So, why's the other one so interesting?"
"Those kids on Bleeter said that Twilight Sparkle was at the epicenter of both events, but she besides then, she never shows up anywhere near the town."
"Pretty suspicious, alright."
"I've got a question," said Trevor, "Why do we care about all this?"
"Because, Trevor, as Franklin here can tell you, I've been playing around with the stock market, and I've made BILLIONS off of it. So, if you help me investigate this, I will give each of you a billion dollars."
The three killers considered this, and eventually came up with their answers.
"Deal." Said Trevor.
Micheal, however, was worried about something, "What about my family?" He asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, what if Devin Weston sends Merryweather after them, and I'm not there to help?"
"Well, it'd be too risky bringing them along, but I can arrange for them to be transported to a safe location." Lester suggested "With your approval, of course." He added.
"Sounds good to me."
"Besides, if Devin gonna send Merryweather to kill anyone, it's gonna be you, Mike." Franklin pointed out, "I mean, shit, muthafucka tried to get me to do it." He said. It was only when the guys stared at him that he remembered that he hadn't told anyone about that.
"Frank, what are talking about?" Asked Micheal.
Franklin sighed. Guess there ain't no point hidin' it now. "Devin Weston came to my crib earlier, an' he told to kill Micheal. And, a few weeks ago, Steve Haines said I gotta kill Trevor."
Trevor sat up. "So, whatcha gonna do?"
Franklin stood firmly facing the others with a serious look on his face, and said, "Man, ain't gonna kill my homie cause some cat think he so high an' mighty that he can tell anyone to do whatever da fuck he wants. Fuck that!"
Trevor nodded approvingly. "That's some good loyalty there, kid. Hold on to that."
Micheal got off the bed. "So, how are going to deal with this new... situation?" He asked.
"Well, I'm pretty sure Devin Weston doesn't have the resources to track us, and with all the heat he's taking, I doubt Steve Haines does, either. So, we should be safe if we go through with our little investigation."
"Shit, I guess." Said Franklin
"Fuck it, it's not like there's anything going on at the studio." Was Micheal's answer.
Trevor jumped up and, rubbing his hands with anticipation, said, "So, how're we gonna do this?"