The shadowed pony stepped forward in the candlelit ice cave, giggling madly.
”We are all here!” the colt bellowed. ”And soon, Doctor, you'll be right where I want you ….”
The giggle rose into a maniac's laughter, as all the candles in the cave went out at once.
* * *
The Doctor trotted slowly back into his TARDIS, the spaceship that is bigger on the inside than the outside, and sighed lightly.
”Those Ponies were horrible! I need to find a way to get out of this body and universe!”
He looked down at his hooves.
”And fortunately for me, the ”Get Out of a Universe” sequence doesn't require any delicate handling of things, like dialing. Good thing, too, or I'd be in a dire situation with these new hooves.”
He flicked some switches, pulled some levers, pressed some buttons, and finally lifted a hammer placed in his mouth, and banged the side of the console with it.
The engine made that wooshing sound he enjoyed so much, and off he went.
The TARDIS stopped with a whirr, and he jumped to the doors.
”Great!” he exclaimed.
”Finally! Goodbye crazy pony world, hello ….” he opened the doors while speaking, eyes clenced with anticipation.
”... Eng …. land?”
He looked out at the town square of a tiny town, with a bakery by it. This wasn't London, for sure.
A pink pony came out of the bakery, and skipped towards Doctor Whooves, as he stepped out of the big blue box he called home.
”Uuh, you're a new face! Hi! Oh, wait! You're the Doctor, aren't you? I mean, Doctor Whooves?”
she rambled off quickly.
”Yes, I am. How did you know?”
”Oh, the pegasuses fly fast with news in Ponyville.” she smiled.
”Don't you mean pegasii?”
”No, that's racist.” she answered quickly, the same smile on her face.
”Where have I heard that before ….” the colt muttered.
”I'm Pinkie Pie, by the way. What are you doing here in Equestria?”
”Well, I crashlanded here, and something is keeping me from leaving. And seeing as I traded my jacket for a, er, coat, I was wondering if you could help me pack a bag?”
”Sure! But can't you do that yourself?” she asked puzzled.
”Well, I wasn't always a pony, you see. I have trouble operating things with hooves.”
”Oki-doki-Loki!” she agreed with a smile.
He packed a brown saddlebag with his sonic screwdriver, (”I'll learn to hold it sometime.”)
food supplies (”You can never go wrong with a banana in your bag.”) and his black-rimmed glasses
(”You never know when you need to look clever.”).
Finally, they were all set, and the old alien rushed out the doors, only to butt heads with a lavender unicorn pony.
”Oww! Pinkie, what is this place? Who is that, too?” she asked, pointing to the groggy colt on the spaceship floor.
”And here I thought news travel fast in Ponyville, hmm?” he remarked sarcastically.
”Well, they do, stranger, but I've been in my library all day, studying. I just came by to see if Pinkie wanted to go visit Rarity, and then I got curious about this …. big blue box thing, standing by Sugarcube Corner.”
”Oh, I'd love to!” the pink pony answered ecstatically. ”Do you want to come to Rarity's clothes shop, too, Doctor? By the way, this is my friend Twilight Sparkle. Twilight, this is the alien Doctor Whooves.”
The one spoken about got to his hooves, shook Twilight's hoof with a bit of effort, and answered Pinkie: ”Well, since the radiation is negated by this universe, and that an unknown force is keeping me here, I guess we can go visit her boutique together.”
”Uuh, that's what she calls it, too!” Pinkie yelled gleefully, bouncing up and down on the spot.
The trio went outside, and the brown pony locked the box' double doors with the key in his mouth.
”You know, I've always liked the little local shops. Keeps the economy flowing.”
Enroute, Twilight pulled out a book with her magic horn from her saddlebags, and began reading while trotting away to the boutique.
”How'd you do that?” he asked. ”Magic.” was the short simple answer.
The colt shut up about it, except for a giddy giggle.
Doctor Whooves struck up a conversation after walking a bit.
”So, this Ponyville you live in, where in your world is it located? For that matter, what is this world called? My controls gave me no indications.”
”Wow, you really are from another planet.” Twilight said.
”You can say that again.” the bi-hearted colt murmured, while the trio passed by the well-kept flowerbeds and small houses.
”Well, I don't know exactly where in Equestria it is, but it is somewhere between Manehattan to the east and Las Pegasus to the west, and a day's travel by train from Canterlot.” the lavender pony answered, still reading her book floating in the air in front of her by magic.
”Pony version of America, eh? Funny names, though. Do you have a Fillydelphia, too?”
”As a matter of fact, we do.” Pinkie Pie interjected.
Doctor Whooves dropped flat on his back laughing.
The girls waited for him to finish chortling and giggling, staring awkwardly at him while he got up and asked again: ”So, what's that city up there?” and pointed to the settlement seemingly afloat in a partly clouded sky a mile or so from the grounded Ponyville.
”That is Cloudsdale, home of the pegasus ponies. They are in charge of changing the weather.”
”Oh, right, of course. Anything goes in Equestria.” the old colt nodded.
”But dare I ask who your ruler is?”
”It is Princess Celestia, my mentor, and her little sister, Princess Luna. They raise the Sun and the Moon, respectively, and live in Canterlot, my former home.”
Twilight pointed to a large city with towers gleaming in the midday sun on the mountainside in the distance.
The Doctor suppressed a laughter, and breathed ”Be nice, be nice.”. He got a hold of himself, and asked one last question: ”I've seen three different kinds of ponies here. Which ones are they?”
”They are alicorns, an exceedingly rare amalgamation of Earth, Unicorn and Pegasus ponies.” Twilight answered.
”Whomever belongs to that race, or is a descendant of it, gets to call themself Prince or Princess.”
”Fancy that! An unique race reigning supreme in ways of their species' rareness! I think I am going to enjoy my stay here!”
The ponies all smiled at Doctor Whooves' newfound happiness, including himself.
They'd been walking and talking at the same time, and now they passed a lot of market stalls where different ponies sold out of their belongings.
Twilight and Doctor Whooves started to discuss astronomy, while Pinkie bounced around the stalls, doing equal amounts for banter and barter, showing great skill at both.
She came back to the debaters with her arms full of stuff, dropping it off in a big pile on the ground in front of them.
”Anyways, your girlfriend seems nice.” she remarked casually to the Doctor while studying her newly bought odds and ends.
”My girlfr-” he stopped himself in the middle of the sentence, his jaw unhinged with the realization, and stared at the pink pony on the ground.
”You've been talking to the TARDIS?!”
”Uh-huh. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.” she reeled off while sorting her knick-knack.
”She thinks you're cute.”
He blushed slightly and took a few steps back in embarrassment.
”But how did this happen?”
Pinkie stopped making faces into a small shiny copper ladle, and looked up at him with shimmering blue eyes.
”Well, I was in the back of the crowd, and my Pinkie Sense acted up when you passed out.”
”Wait, Pinkie Sense?” the alien interrupted.
”So, you're Spider-Mare?” he chuckled.
”No, silly Doctor! That was yesterday. Now I'm just Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight gave him a ”Just roll with it” look, and he closed his gaping mouth.
Twilight closed her book and put it back in her saddlebag.
Her new friend nodded for Pinkie to continue, and they both perked their ears with interest.
”As I was saying: My Pinkie Sense was doing burning flank and wiggly mane, which means something fun and mysterious is nearby. I went inside the big blue box, and a booming voice started
speaking to me.”
”And?” the listeners leaned in closer.
”She told me to tell her Doctor that her trans-flux warp conductor had gone missing.”
The colt lightened up: ”Of course!”.
”But why didn't she tell me herself?”
”I asked her that too. She said something about a hammer and spousal abuse.”
”Oooh. Oh.”. He blushed again.
Pinkie looked at the copper ladle again. ”This is really good quality! It's a keeper!”
With Twilight's purply glowing magic, Doctor Whooves found his dark-rimmed glasses, and read the head of the ladle. ”Well, of course!” he nodded. ”It says ”made in England”. Only quality copper from there. Not even Malongee could beat their produce, and that was a planet made entirely of copper!”
”But what happend to the device, then?” he asked, getting back on topic.
She looked sorry and put her hooves out facing up in an apologising manner.
”She couldn't say. She said it had nothing to do with her past grudges against you. She suspected a cloaking device. By the way, there was a food stand nearby, so from one child of chaos to another (that's what she called us both), here you go:”
She tossed two blueberry muffins to Doctor Whooves, who quickly grabbed at them with both his front hooves, and munched them down before he could drop them on the ground.
”Ooh, thanks! I'm all better now. Shall we continue?”
”You bet!” the girls agreed in unison, and with the colt in the lead, his blue eyes gleaming, they reached Rarity's boutique in a fast trot.
The trio entered Rarity's boutique, where they noticed a cyan pegasus modeling in a pompous dress for a snowy white unicorn in stylish orange-rimmed glasses.
”Rainbow Dash, what are you doing modeling for Rarity?” Twilight asked.
”I was promised Wonderbolts tickets.” Rainbow Dash answered sourly, her wings erect through the dark-blue dress.
”But now I'm starting to think she doesn't have any!”
She glared down from the podium at Rarity, who laughed indulgently.
”Oh, you'll get them in due time. Now, be a dear and sit still, all right?”
The pegasus sighed, and the four other ponies laughed.
”Enchanté, mademoiselle. Je m'appelle le Docteur.” he introduced himself to Rarity, and kissed her hoof. She nearly fainted from the gallantry, until Rainbow pointed out she wasn't going to stand there all day.
Rarity spoke to him while examining the hoof-made dress, asking if he'd been to France, and how it was there. Doctor Whooves answered yes.
”But I didn't get to see the views a lot. I was too busy staring into the eyes of ….” his voice trailed off, leaving a blank stare. Rarity respected his privacy of being lost in memory, and turned to the other unicorn with a message:
”By the way, Twilight, I've fixed Smarty Pants' eye for you.” Rarity pulled out a pony doll in a vest with her bluish glowing magic horn from a dresser, and sure enough, there was a fresh new button eye, black as the night.
Twilight's face flushed. She smiled awkwardly, nodded her thanks to the dressmaker, and quickly tugged the battered ragdoll into one of her light-grey saddlebags.
Doctor Whooves snickered at her, and began looking around the boutique, noticing large chests of drawers and cupboards with gems neatly sorted in categories, mannequins with beautifully adorned cloaks and dresses on them, and in the back was ….
”Aaaah! A dragon!” he yelled, and leaped 3 hooves backwards.
”Aaaah! A pony!” the dragon yelled back, laughing.
”Ha, who's this wacky guy?” the purple miniature dragon asked the crowd while getting to his feet,
leaving gems of lower quality behind, which he was sorting out, apparently for consumption, as he ate a ruby while asking.
”Spike, this is Doctor Whooves. He's from …. a long way from here.”
”Gallopfrey!” Pinkie shouted.
”I …. what?” the colt mumbled.
The pink pony nodded heavily. ”That's what your girlfriend told me your planet is called!”
He sighed and said nothing of it, as if he'd finally realised and accepted the craziness of the baker.
”And you are?”
”Spike the Dragon. Twilight's assistant. I came over for lunch at Rarity's. She had some gems she didn't need.” He gazed lovingly at the purple-maned unicorn, who didn't notice him, but adjusted a crease in Rainbow Dash's jewel-adorned dress.
Spike scratched the green spikes on his back and head, and mumbled: ”So, you're an alien?”.
”Indeed.” the questioned answered, and went on: ”You have claws. Maybe you can control this?”
He pulled out his blue-tipped sonic screwdriver, the universal lockpick and research device, from his backpack, and threw it over to Spike.
”Why didn't you ask one of us?” Rainbow Dash demanded.
”Well, I don't trust those hooves handling my screwdriver. I'm sorry, so sorry.”
”You will be real sorry if you don't learn to trust us soon.” she said brashfully.
”Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to argue with you. Press the right button on your left. Yeah, the green one. Does it say ”Readout in progress”?”
Spike nodded.
”Good. Keep pressing it.” A bleep was heard. ”Aha! What does it say now?”
”It says: ”Equine Lifeform Detected.”. And there's an image of you.”
”It is as I feared.” he said glumly. ”I am a pony.”
”Oooh, really?!” Rainbow Dash noted sarcastically, balancing on one hind leg for the demanding dressmaker. ”And here I thought you were an alligator!”
”Yeah, like my pet Gummy!” Pinkie blurted out.
A white fat cat and a light-green toothless alligator shuffled out of the adjacent room which contained a bed, and into the workspace.
Rarity's eyes lighted up behind the glasses.
”Ooh, hello, Opalescence! Did Mummy's kitty have a nice widdle nap?”
The cat ignored her and jumped up on a pony-shaped mannequin.
”Oh, no, Opal, that's my new dress, you can't ….” she protested, but her pet just hissed at her, and curled up in a ball.
Gummy grabbed Pinkie's tail, and she lifted him in the air.
”Did you have a fun time with Auntie Rarity?” the baker asked.
The reptile just blinked his light purple eyes, being silent.
”Oh, it was horrendous!” the tailor wailed.
”That monstrosity ate my glue and glitter and drooled all over my floor!”
”Gummy is just expressing himself.” Pinkie defended, smiling.
”No, this has gone too far! If it doesn't learn to behave itself, I will not take care of it anymore!”
The argument went on, becoming heated, with Doctor Whooves trying to settle things with a meek ”Ladies, ladies ….” once in a while, before being interrupted by the crisp ring of the doorbell, and two ponies draped in shadows entered the boutique ….