//------------------------------//
// Keep Calm and Breathe 
// Story: The Half of It 
// by Shapeshift 
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I awoke in my apartment in the middle of the night with a soft groan, upset that I wasn't getting enough sleep again. It was quieter for a Canterlot night, even for the outer parts of the capital city. The air outside was still, no crickets were chirping, and not a single sound of anyone outside could be heard. After what felt like an eternity of trying to go back to sleep, I opened my eyes to check the analog clock on my bedside table through my messy pale cyan mane. It was unreadable, as the night was darker than usual. I decided to get out of bed, not bothering to look at my clock as I passed by, and following the wall that the head of my bed was against to take a look at the nighttime weather through my window. Maybe staying awake for a bit to look at some calm scenery, then going right back to bed will help me sleep.

I opened my curtains all the way and some more light shown through onto my blue-purple coat. The sky had plenty of clouds with one passing across Luna's moon, slowly dimming and refracting more light as it went. The few streets that were in my view were completely empty, with only dim lighting to help ponies see where they were going. After a minute or so I saw a mare galloping to a door of the same apartment complex that I lived in. She seemed to be in a hurry, but with the dimness of the light and distance I couldn't make out the mare's face well enough, nor the face of the colt that answered the door. Whatever is going on doesn't seem to be too much of an emergency and I wouldn't be able to help much with what little sleep I've been getting. I felt a bit calmer after what felt like ten minutes or so, so I shut the curtains half way and went back to bed.

A while later I heard the distinct sound of breaking glass. It was close enough for me to immediately open my eyes again, facing one of the walls of the corner that my bed was against. It was one of my downstairs windows, so I was a bit shocked from it. I feared that there was an intruder, but I eventually turned my head around to face the rest of my room... and my worst fear.

Many dark figures of what I was sure looked like ponies had filled my bedroom half way, angrily glaring at me with squinting eyes and some with barred teeth. My eyes went wide and my throat went tight. Something sank in my stomach like I swallowed it right before it finished a fall off the cliff of Canterlot. I was sure I almost vomited, but I only winced and put a furry, hole filled foreleg on my equally furry stomach at the momentary sickness it brought me. 

Wait... 

Then I put the same leg up to my eyes in shock, the chitinous holes becoming apparent. I turned my head towards my my flank and my pupils shrunk to razor thin slits when I saw that my green flame cutie mark wasn't there either.  I don't have my disguise on?!I tried to think of something to say, but all I said was “P-Please, I haven't harmed anyone. J-Just leave me be.”, in a weak, trembling voice that was deep and slightly distorted, as if two people with nearly the same voice were almost in perfect sync.

The crowd started yelling at me. “Yeah right!”, “Nopony wants you here!”, “Leave, you abomination!” My green eyes started tearing up and I could swear the crowd was starting to slowly form into one single, dark cloud. It's multiple faces remained, glaring and yelling at me to leave while it's form was slowly getting closer. “You're not welcome here!”, “Go back to where you came from!” The room slowly went into complete darkness. The last thing I saw of the cloud were the eyes, before I hid under my bed sheets like a scared little filly, eyes closed tight. This can't be real! It's got to be a nightmare! Some seconds later I noticed that the voices seemed to slowly fade, as if they were getting further away, and that my bed seemed to slowly harden.

Only after a minute of dead silence did I slowly poke my head out from my sheets to discover that I wasn't on my bed anymore. And that my sheets had a tear in them from my pointy blue-purple changeling horn, but I couldn't care less about that at the time. 

I was on a dirt road, near Dodge Junction considering the rocky terrain and a sign that confirmed that, saying “Dodge Juction: 30 miles”. It was still night time and not even the sound of a soft wind could be heard. I was still shaking from the prior experience, but the freezing weather outside was making it worse. I needed to find a warmer place and some time to calm down before trying to find out what was happening, but I still thought about it anyways. Is Discord unreformed and spreading chaos again, or is this really a dream? He's crafty enough that he can still technically wreak havoc by NOT doing anything, so I might not know until the end of this.

I looked around for shelter. There was a farm next to the right of the road, and a windmill to the left. I flared up my chitinous horn with powder green pony magic and tried putting my disguise on before going to either one. But as hard as I tried, I wasn't able to, so I decided that I should hide in the windmill for now. I put my sheets on my back to help stay warm, and after a few seconds of walking towards it, things suddenly went thousands of times faster than they should. 

I first noticed, with wide eyes, the windmill turning at the speed that could blow a hydra all the way over the horizon, yet no wind came from it. The structure was noticeably decaying as well. I looked at the farm to see the plants growing to full size in seconds, then being harvested in the blink of an eye. The house and barn's paint were aging to dullness, then being repainted so fast it looked instantaneous. The farm ponies were going so fast that even if I looked for one of their beds, I would probably just barely make out their coat color if I was lucky. Everything except for me and the heavens were moving frighteningly fast, but everything was still dead silent.

I galloped to the windmill as fast as I could, not wanting to find out what would happen if one of the ponies ran into me, in either sense of the phrase. After bucking the door open, I hurried to the highest floor to have a pony pass right thorough me. I slid to a halt and looked back to the door the pony went through. How are they intangible? Then I looked around to find a window facing the farm, some large boxes close to the entrance door, and a small unused storage closet which I hurried into. The accelerated rate of decay in the wood wall was forming a small gap that I could look through to the outside. I took a peek to see that the farm was much larger than before with crops still growing and disappearing, and the paint on the buildings still dulling and being replaced. Then it all slowed down to normal and I came out to get a better look through the window. 

The last thing that the farmers grew were apples, and everything else seemed to be in a state of decay, but there was finally some noise other than myself. The barn had rotting wood and missing planks, the house had broken windows and more than half the shingles were falling off, and the chicken coop they had had completely fallen apart. The whole thing gave me a sense of dread, but the odd thing that gave me a look of confusion was that the Summer Sun Celebration appeared to the right of the farm and adjacent to the road while I was going from the closet to the window. I was in time to see Celestia slowly and majestically raise into the sky with the sun in her magic grasp. My angle provided a view I've never seen before when she hit the apex of her accent, of her silhouette against the sun when it shone otherwise unobstructed.

Though my eyes had to readjust for some time, so in immediate retrospect that was a bad idea. But with the sun up, it was starting to get warmer. 

After my eyes cleared up, I spotted Luna talking with the guards at the celebration and she looked right in my direction. I ducked below the window. No no no! Is it the real Luna? Did she see me? I know she can enter others' dreams, but I can't even tell for sure if this is a dream! No, that doesn't matter. I need to evade her and every other pony here in case it isn't. So I slowly crept to the door, trying to avoid all the floorboards that became creaky from the lack of care. Though I wasn't able to get to the door before I heard someone trying to open it, then knocking on it. I jumped at the former sound and hid behind the large boxes. The farmer probably locked the door on his way out.

“I do not wish to pry, but you seem to be in some... trouble.”

It was definitely Princess Luna. I've been to a few of her announcements, so I knew her voice. I wasn't able to think of anything to say in my panic while looking for escape routes, so I stayed silent, my ears folded flat on my head.

"I do not know why you are hiding.” Her voice grew a little pleading but also reassuring, “If you could at least talk with me, it may help put your mind at ease.”

I spotted one of the windmill's fan blades at about a 12 o'clock position through the window and crept over. If the distance to it isn't to far, I can jump to it and climb down at least most of the windmill.

I backed up from the window, took a deep breath, started galloping towards it, then jumped through. I was able to get a grip on one of the blade's wood rods, but it was to decayed. It snapped in half and I fell, surprised, but managed to get a sufficient grip on one of the opposite blade's rods and climbed down the rest of that. I dropped the remaining height and landed with some pain in my legs. Thankfully, I don't make verbal cries of pain unless I find it unbearable. Though I still grimaced a bit. That was a bit farther than it looked.

I then went to the farm to find a new place to hide from Luna. As I was galloping there, I spotted a friend of mine who was in the Royal Guard. His name was Blitzkrieg. He had a red mane in a style similar to Spitfire's, but nowhere as long and his coat was a solid orange. His cutie mark was a lighting bolt and staff arranged in an X formation, his eyes were purple, and his build was lean but still noticeably muscular. I was originally thinking about hiding in the apple orchard, but when I spotted him I thought that it might be better to hide in the broken down farm house. 

As close as it was to the celebration's area, I had a chance to yank him from it and possibly help me despite my undisguised state.

I entered the farm house through one of the doors on the opposite side of the celebration to find myself in the living room. It didn't look any better than the outside. The wood floor was decaying just as badly as the windmill's, and the walls had plenty of cracks and some holes where there wasn't any dulled and torn wallpaper. The only thing that seemed to age well at all was the chimney, and everything else looked like it couldn't support more than it's own weight. There was also a back door in the corner closest to the road that I could bring Blitz though, but I also noticed a pony sized hole in the adjacent bedroom's wall that faced the same direction as the door.

I was able too keep an eye on Blitz through the cracks and holes in the walls when he wasn't in large crowds, though I was starting to rethink my chances of getting his help. What if he doesn't think it's me? No, I should be able to prove that... But what if he just runs off first to tell others because he gets spooked? I let out a deep sigh. I think I need to change my plan a bit. So I looked around for anything of use in the bedroom first.

There was a stuffed animal sheep on the bedroom nightstand that was about the right size and a large drawstring pouch under the bed. I went to the kitchen to find plenty of rusty pots and pans, and an old cutting board. I then crept over to the storage shed and found some rope. When I got back to my hiding spot I saw Blitz walking towards the hole in the wall without his helmet on. I had to prepare quickly, seeing as this was the perfect opportunity.

My horn flared a deeper green and I enchanted the stuffed sheep with a changeling gag spell. When Blitz passed the wall's hole, I crept the cutting board and sheep up behind him in my powder green pony magic. He was then whacked square on the nose. He recoiled some and I took his momentary, but absolute halt to stuff the sheep in his muzzle, quickly hogtie him with the rope telekineticly, then put the pouch over his head. Thankfully, no one saw this and I was able to quickly drag him into the house's living room with the help of my magic.

"Quiet!", I commanded, my voice wavering a bit.

"Mafmif?!"

"Yeah, it's me. When I remove the pouch, don't even let out a pep until I say so."

When I took the pouch off he had a surprised face on, which shortly shifted to a deadpan stare. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"This is serious, Blitz. Luna's looking for me and I need you to misdirect her to buy me some escape time. Can you do that?"

The guard made an irritated muffled noise and I took the stuffed animal out of his muzzle.

"You expect a Royal Guard to lie to a princess, after being wha-!?"

I winced a bit, shoved the sheep back in his muzzle, looked outside for a few seconds, then said with a hushed tone, "Keep quiet, I don't need anyone finding me right now!"

Great, this plan was far more drastic than it needed to be. Wait, is he more angry at me than I thought he would be?

I removed the sheep again after asking, "What do I look like to you?", with a puzzled look.

With a still irritated tone he answered, "You look like a normal Tatarus dang pony. What is wrong with you today, Shapeshift?"

If he sees me as a normal pony, then who else does? Luna might, but if this is a dream she could easily look past the illusion. Ignoring his question, I said "Jeez, just calm down. I'm not really in trouble with Luna. Let's just say she picked a bad time to talk with me."

Blitz then gave me an unreadable expression as if to keep me from knowing what he's thinking, which was odd given the circumstances. That reminded me that I could sense emotions like a changeling, though in my case it's not as strong. So I concentrated on him and felt plenty of worry, anger, irritation, and oddly enough, a bit of fear and doubt. Given what I did, I wouldn't be surprised if that doubt's about my real identity. But it's inconsequential at it's potency, and I should be more concerned about the influence of his anger and irritation.

I gave the guard a resolute look. "Okay, here's the deal: As long as you agree to try to avoid taking to Luna, I won't leave you here. If you decide to misdirect her and get in trouble for it, I can help you out of that problem. What's it gonna be?"

Blitz gave me a skeptical and slightly puzzled look. "And how would you be able to help me out of that?"

I gave him a cocky grin. "You know I'm crafty. I could think of something to pull off."

Blitz looked up to the ceiling to think for a minute then calmly said "Fine. I'll avoid Luna, but don't expect me to mislead her."

Great, my trail might be discovered quicker than I would've liked. I need to get out of here fast.

I untied Blitz and he hit me on the back of the head with an audible 'clop'. I winced then gave him an irritated look while saying "What was that for!?"

"For being an idiot!"

I deadpanned. "Okay ... whatever."

Blitz then gave me a worried look. "So where are you going to go?"

"Even if I had a place in mind, I couldn't tell you that."

"Oh, right. Hopefully I'll see you around sometime."

I turned around to walk off and I told him over my shoulder with a smile "Don't worry, you will."

I walked over to the front door, and Blitz the back, but he stopped at his for a few seconds then said "Hey", and I turned my head while at the door "keep your muzzle above water, but remember to breathe." I gave him a puzzled look.

"It's some kind of proverb or something. I want to know what it means, but you're better than me at finding the meaning of cryptic phrases anyways. Hopefully you can come back sometime and tell me."

I said "Will do", opened the door, and walked out.

I hastily crept my way into to the apple orchard. At first it was just a bit overgrown with some bushes, tall grass, and occasional vines, but after what seemed like just 20 minutes of a brisk jog it was somehow looking much like the place I occasionally travel to for potion ingredients, the Everfree Forest. I slowed my pace to bring less attention to myself, in case something like a cockatrice was near by, but I still somehow thought that Luna would be closer than any dangerous creature. 

She would probably even spot me easier. After all, she has to have more experience in practically everything compared to everyone else besides Celestia, given how she's easily over ten times the average pony lifespan. Then again, there's probably very little you could do in the way of training for anything when you've been banned to the mo-

My train of thought was interrupted by my hoof somehow missing a step and I fell. When I looked down there was a shallow canyon that somehow completely evaded my perception. After falling about 10 meters I landed in the raging river at the bottom, being violently shoved around under the white water to the point that I lost which direction was up for a few seconds. 

I managed to breach the surface when I almost ran out of breath, despite the river's efforts to shove me back down. Unfortunately, I was unable to breathe without major pains in my chest, so I got little oxygen before being pulled back under. I kept trying to get back to the top for air, but I couldn't get enough through the pain when I had the chance and I was starting to feel lightheaded after a few more attempts. Then I dropped at an unexpected waterfall and it all became much calmer.

I got back to the surface and winced a bit for every shallow breath, but at least I was alive. I tried looking for a way out of the now wider canyon, but I couldn't find any method of escape. Instead, what I found while being carried down the river was rather odd, but not particularly surprising due to all the strange events.

First off, it was nighttime again. The second thing to catch my eye were two figures in the sky, flying around and trying to shoot each other with magic blasts. One was mostly a bright white. The equally bright, flowing ethereal mane gave it away as being Celestia. The other was a vastly darker figure that was harder to make out in the low light and long distance, even with the light from the blasts. So I was unable to make out enough details to say anything more with certainty than that it was a tall, dark pony. Though I was sure that it was Nightmare Moon.

The third thing was a scene being played out of group of six ponies being shown, in a large flat crystal surface in the canyon wall. One pony, a purple unicorn, was lying down with her head buried in her forelegs while all the others were walking away from her in their own individual direction with their own general stuck up look on their faces that you normally see the Canterlot elite wear to show disdain.

Then a magic blast hit the crystal, leaving a gaping hole where it made impact and the scene flickered away. I looked where the blast came from and not to far away was the dark figure and Celestia. I was able to confirm at that distance that the dark pony was Nightmare Moon, as I expected.

Being distracted by all of this, I didn't notice that there was a growing background noise until it was just barely more than that. I tried to find something to hang on to to stop the river from pulling me along. Most of what I found were roots but they were too weak. Most of the canyon walls, which became much higher from when I fell, were covered in moss so it would be hard to find a good part of it to hang onto, and the same went for what few small amounts of rock there were in the water. After a few minutes, the water's flow picked up significantly and I realized what the noise was. 

It was another waterfall. And it sounded very high up. Probably more than 50 meters.

I didn't know how to do any teleporting spells, so even though I had the energy and this was an emergency I couldn't pull it off. Changeling shape-shifting was out of the question as well because the spell for that wasn't compatible with me due to my body being a haphazard combination of both pony and changeling, and something was preventing me from using any spell as a disguise anyway.
After a few minutes the canyon turned and I could see that the walls right next to the waterfall looked to only be a dozen meters high at most, so I had a last chance. There wasn't anything that I could use as rope, including anything underwater, so I could only hope that there was something like a vine I couldn't see to help me get out.

Fortunately, I spotted a strong enough vine only about seven meters away from the fall and I wasn't too late to get a hold of it. My leg strength wasn't that good but it was enough to get me out of the water and onto the mossy wall, despite my chest pain. There were enough small holes and such that I could climb it, but not all the nine meters that it was. I was two meters away from the top and the portion of the vine at the ledge was stuck in a groove. I could still slip and fall back into the water if I wasn't holding the vine well enough, so I tied some of it around my waist and shoulders. I'm sure this will hold my full weight, but I don't think it'll be strong enough if I fall too far. I securely tied the excess vine around myself just in case and looked around for anything else to use, but my search was fruitless. I can't call for help because Luna might be close enough to hear me, so what in Tatarus do I do? I thought for a solid seven seconds, then face hoofed. Telekinesis, duh... 

I tried looking for anything on land level that was in my sight and levitating other vines over. But whatever being that controlled fate decided to get a laugh from seeing me like this and I couldn't put enough strength into my levitation for any vine that looked long enough because I use a different spell that losses strength with distance, so it was too far away and heavy. I growled in irritation. Great. I didn't want to try this because it might break but seeing as the wall's even enough, my last chance is a wall run. So I placed my hind legs perpendicular to the wall and hung onto the vine with my front, then let a few meters of the vine loose so I wouldn't have to change directions frequently.

I started slowly and the vine seemed okay, but as I ran faster it seemed like the it would snap at any moment. It also wasn't helping that the pain in my chest was getting worse from my heavier and faster breathing. 

At the exact second I got close enough to the top, the vine snapped but I was able to get a grip on the ledge. Unfortunately, I was losing that grip fast because that portion of the ledge was far too muddy. In my panic I couldn't find anything to levitate over to help me up so I fell back into the water, and shortly went down the waterfall with my eyes clenched, waiting for whatever would happen to me.

But I shortly noticed something about the fall was missing. 

I opened my eyes then looked down and I couldn't really see any ground directly below me. I looked elsewhere and there were islands of land just floating in place as I went by them, then I realized what it was. 

There was actually no feeling of falling whatsoever. I was floating while everything else was flying up. So I stayed there for a long time. 

I had no idea how long I was there but I eventually noticed an island in the void, directly under me. It was coming towards me and I couldn't tell how fast, so I started panicking. I finally noticed that, at worst, it was going fast enough to break a bone if I didn't land right, so I tried to position myself correctly. It was extremely difficult because I was just floating in place with next to nothing in reach. Then when I tried getting my bed sheet off my back to help me, I realized that it was gone. Great, I lost it in the river. Now what am I going to use? 

I looked around, but the only possible thing to use was the vine that I wrapped around myself. I untied it and used it as counterweight to manoeuvre into a suitable position which wasn't easy either, considering how it would quickly start flailing around, but it was all I had to work with. It didn't help that there were occasional gusts from the islands flying by either.

Shortly after getting my position right, I landed on the island with a small thud. It hurt a lot, but after checking myself I didn't seem to break anything from that, as far as I could tell. So I casted a passive healing acceleration spell with changeling magic and tried calming myself down by just lying on the ground for a minute. 

My worry dissipated, but was replaced with anger.

I quickly got up and pointed at the sky with a hoof and a face of pure rage.

"If I ever find out that there's a god of fate, I'll personally hunt you down!"
I stood there for a few seconds, breathing heavily with one hoof on my chest from the pain of the earlier injury, and the other still pointing.

Then I remembered that Luna was probably still looking for me. My face shifted into a look of surprise at what I did, then worry for a minute as I tried to think of what to do while looking around the island. 

It looked to be about 50 meters in diameter when I was falling towards it, and I was in a small clearing with the rest of the place populated by a thick forest. It didn't seem to be populated by any monsters and it had a lot more vines than even trees, so the few bushes that there were had many vines of various sorts tangled up in them. There were so many that I could practically just find a large tangled bunch of them to hide in. When I decided on a plan, a look of determination swept across my features. It had to be the real Luna and this has to be a dream. Why else would she be so calm in all this chaos? Why would she have said what she had at the door in the windmill? I don't even think this is Discord's style of chaos!

I then crept over to a large bush some distance away from the clearing. I flared up my horn with deep green changeling magic and cast a noise reduction spell on it, then weaved my way through the vines in the bush to the middle. I got comfortable in a sitting position, with a hoof on my chest pain's area. Then I casted a pony spell, to create disembodied sources of my voice placed at random locations throughout the island, as well as a changeling spell to listen at all those spots.

Okay. So I wait for her to come to the island, then I can get answers for all these crazy events.

I waited only about five minutes before I heard sounds from one of my spells listening points, one being wing beats then rustling plants. I put my voice through all the disembodied sources at once.

"Luna?" 

She stayed quiet for a few seconds, probably trying to find the source, then said "Your voice is rather odd", with a confused tone. Then her voice started showing a little concern. "But why are you hiding? I do not wish to harm you, even if you are a changeling."

With exasperation in my voice I said "My problem's far more complicated than that. Something happened to me during the attack on Canterlot, but I have very little memory of it. All I know is that someone owes me an explanation of my dramatically changed life to fill in my memory gap, and it's probably a changeling. I haven't had any luck with that."

"As it currently stands, we may have the authority to do anything we wish with Chrysalis within reason if she decides to show her face here and gets captured. We may be able to help you if we can have some details of what you look like, but I suppose you wouldn't want to give that away." Luna stated with a pondering tone.

"Yeah, and I'd prefer to stay thoroughly hidden until changeling integration has been worked on significantly."

"I suppose that is a good idea, but for your sake you will need to give your word to yourself that you'll do it. Your feeling of having to stay hidden forever will only become true if you keep telling yourself that it is not the right time."

I grew a bit sadder and my voice showed it "I know. This is a self fulfilling prophecy." Then I became more determined. " But back to finding my memories, I've decided that I'm going to take up some skills to help, as well as fixing something to take full advantage of them. I may even try to help with the changeling affairs in some way."

I tried putting up a disguise and finally had success, so I trotted into the clearing I was in before. Luna came out and was met with a silver furred stallion with a light blue mane, yellow eyes, and a waffle cutie mark sitting down. Luna sat down as well and was the first to speak.

"I would ask how you are disguising yourself and why your voice is that way, but you would most likely not tell me that either."

How does she know I'm disguised!? " I started to panic and it showed a bit with a slight shaking and a moderately strained smile. "H-how do you know I'm not in my real form?"

"Either you are not a pony and this dream has forced you into this form, you have changed your voice in some way, or both with the latter to keep your identity from me. Though you may also be a changeling." Luna's face shifted into one of concern. "Are you alright? You seen to be trembling slightly."

There was a saying I've once heard from a changeling in Ponyville. The best lies are the ones that are true.

"I-I just have a bit of social anxiety is all."

"A deep voiced stallion shy of mares?" Luna or her hoof over her mouth to stifle what was probably a giggle.

My smile became far less strained "General social anxiety. Especially mares, but, um, we're getting a bit off topic."

Luna coughed into her hoof and her face grew more serious. "Yes, we are. There are other ponies that could use my help, so I should make this a bit brief and to the point. When you go searching for your memories, be wry of what shortcuts you take. Some may hurt or hinder others, and some can do the same to yourself. If you do find out what happened during your memory gap and your life change was due in part by somepony, remember that revenge is never the answer. I also recommend talking with the Ambassador of Changeling Affairs. Perhaps to have him ask other changelings if they know anything about you. He has dozens of them living in his house, after all."

I started feeling a strange pulling sensation, then Luna stood up and said "You seem to be waking up, but I may meet you again some day." And she started walking into the forest.

I walked to the edge of the island, but stopped for a few seconds, craned my head back with a sly smile and said, "Oh, two things." She craned her head back to me. "You're my favorite royal sister, and I might be bringing your night guard an occasional present as a token of my appreciation for helping me with this."

Luna's face changed to show a bit of concern as well as some suspicion and quirked an eyebrow. "I hope it is not something our guard will have to hunt you down for."

With my smile still on and a roll of my eyes I said,
"Don't worry, it's not like I'm a psycho mailbox bomber, Lieutenant Nightlight." Her face shifted into a more confused look as I saluted to her. Is there a lieutenant by that name?

With that, I jumped off the island and actually started falling this time. Though I thought I heard Luna shout something just as I jumped. The pull was growing faster and I could suddenly feel as well as see the dream warp into the distance.





I jolted up in my real bed with wide eyes. My disguise spell I created was still active, keeping me looking like myself before the accident. I rubbed my eyes some as I usually do in the morning to get rid of any sleep and took a look around. Everything was normal, just like the start of my dream. 

Then I scooted up to lay my back against the bed's backboard, a small frown on my face and my eyes closed. I'm tired of waiting for a change while the constant fear of being discovered looms over my head every single day. It's time I've done something about this and contribute in some way, instead of leaving it to others. My pet lynx, Frost, entered the room and followed me as I sauntered over to the window after some stretching and audible joint pops. I pet his white and black spotted fur while l looked outside with a determined and analyzing face, my eyes narrowing slightly. 

I need to fix my shape-shifting, and find a friendly infiltrator.