//------------------------------// // Aftermath // Story: What are the odds? // by HikariToYami //------------------------------// "Well, i got one out today or should i say the other part got it out? 'Me.' Yes you, but anyway this one is hilarious in my opinion, and it's really really random, i mean seriously its REALLY random and that is all, TO THE CHAPTER!" I wake up looking up into the clear blue sky, the birds are singing, I have a pounding headache, the ground is as soft as a cloud and the air is thinner than usual… Wait what was that about the air? I sit up and finally notice that I’m on a fucking cloud. Why am I on a cloud? What the hell happened last night? And… IS THAT A FUCKING MAMMOTH!? *Shut up, you don’t need to scream. Especially when I have one hell of a hangover.* Oh sorry. So are you the nice one this time? *As long as you don’t yell I won’t punch you. Does that answers your question?* Well more or less. I have a few questions for you. *You get one and maybe more later but right now I’m in no mood to talk.* Ok, only one… Alright, why is there a mammoth that is drooling white liquid over by the Everfree forest? *…No…* What? *I…I got to go. See you soon.* Wait, you didn’t answer the question. Are you still here? Hey! That bastard left without answering my question. Wait… How am I supposed to get down from here? “FUUUUUUUU…” ----------------------------------------- Location: Unknown ------------------------------------ In a dark cave a strange creature was resting until a white flash woke him up. Before him stood another creature that look almost the same but he was dressed in white and had a look of panic in his eyes. (To make things easier let’s call him White.) “We got a BIG problem!” White yelled at the creature in black. (Again to make things easier let’s call him Black.) “OK, two things. One, did you have to wake me up? I was having the most wonderful dream. It was so real that I could see the life being drained as I slowly choked you to death. And two, don’t yell I still have a hangover since that party Pinkie Pie threw. Where did the alcohol come from anyway, not that I’m complaining.” “Yeah, you don’t think that Pinkie Pie has alcohol. Just Imagine her drunk.” They both felt shivers going down their spines as if someone dropped a small ice cube on their neck and let is slowly slide down. “Now there’s a picture I don’t want to be a part of… Wait, don’t change the subject. We’re in deep shit right now.” “What can possibly be that bad that you feel the need to disturb me while I have the mother of all headaches. And you better answer fast or that dream will become a reality.” “Ok ok. But why don’t you just cure your hangover? I did that before I came here.” “…Why didn’t I think of that?” Black raised his... well his claws and made a quick ‘snap’ “Aaah much better. Now, what’s the problem officer?” Trollface. “We don’t have time for this! There’s a mammoth close to Ponyville!” “Don’t worry; I’m sure that they can handle it.” He said with a smile which then turned into a worried look. “Unless its one of THOSE. You don’t think that while we were drunk we… Did it show any of the symptoms!?” “Yes, it already started drooling shampoo and its tusks will soon turn into lollipops.” “It’s amazing what you can come up with while you’re high.” “I know. I don’t think that planets inhabitants will ever forgive us for what we did.” “Relax, you don’t have to worry about that. They didn’t want our help and that’s why they died… along with their planet. Hehehe.” “Yeah yeah, I’ll try to get over it but I can’t stop thinking that if we didn’t create that mammoth they would still be alive…*sniff* billions of lives were lost that day.” “Yeah the Jedi must have felt that one. Anyway, how long do we have until it will reach stage three?” “Dunno. It’s never the same. One time it took a few days and one time it only took a few minutes. How the hell could you come up with the idea to give him eyes that shots lasers!?” “HEY! I’m proud of that idea. I added a LOT of fire power to the last stage. Anyway you take care of the mammoth and I will find the ice-cream Gatling gun and, god forbid, the controls to fire the missile before anyone can use them.” “We can’t just erase its existence, we already tried that and it backfired. We need to move it do a location with no civilization and minimize its firepower as much as possible. Any suggestions?” “Only one. Move it forward in time and place it here in Ponyville. In a few years the town will be gone anyway. Just give it to… let’s say… a pony with a tombstone for a cutie mark and it has to be in September. What are the odds of THAT?” “HAH, good idea! With this it will be stuck in the time void for god knows how long. But what are we gonna do with Dave?” “Just take care of the mammoth and then join up with him again. It’s as simple as that.” “Alright. See you in a while.” he said before he disappeared in a flash of white. “What a hassle, I swear if something happens that pisses me off I’m gonna say ‘hey’ to Discord and make some chaos, just like old times.” Black said as he stood up and disappeared in a cloud of darkness. --------------------------------------P.O.V Change to Dave-------------------------------------- Ah, it’s so nice down here on the GROUND. How the hell did I even get up there? And if you’re wondering how I got down, I’m just as confused as you are. But what was up with that mammoth? And how will a voice in my head take care of it? *With nothing more but pure awesomeness in an epic way you little head can’t comprehend.* So you’re back, you never did answer my question. *But I just did.* I mean in detail. *That wasn’t part of the question.* You know what, I don’t care anymore. I’m just gonna have a nice little walk to SCC (Sugar Cube Corner) and ask Pinkie what happened last night. *Sounds like a plan. ’ring’ Sorry I’ve got to take this.* How the hell can you answer a phone when you’re in my MIND? *…Dunno. Just be quiet for a sec please* Alright. *So how did it go? Oh I took care of it but did you find what you were supposed to find? WHAT! But… HOW? Ok, which one was taken? Both? By who? Oooh shit, we’re screwed. Any ideas? Well we don’t need to worry that much since the mammoth is gone, I mean what the worst thing that can happen? …Fuck. Well… Let’s try to avoid that. I mean what are the chances that that will happen? That big huh? How much ammo? Well it could have been worse. Let’s just hope that the missile will never be fired and we should be fine. I’ll try but I can’t promise anything. See you later. Bye.* DID YOU JUST SAY MISSILE!? What the hell is gonna happen? *Nothing if we can stop it. Let’s just get to Pinkie Pie and maybe we can stop it and pray that she hasn’t figured out how it works.* I start running as fast as I can to get to Pinkie. How what works? *’gulp’ the… the Ice-Cream Gatling gun.* …The WHAT? *You heard me. Now run faster.* I don’t need to, SCC is right there. I run up to the door raised my hand to knock but before I could even touch the door it flew off its hinges and slammed me in the face. I land on the ground and see the door land right over my head. Looking into the store I see Pinkie with a Gatling gun and ice-cream everywhere. “The fuck?” *Crap, she knows how to use it. Wait is that… GET THE CONTROLLER FROM THE GREY PEGASUS!* Why? *It’s the missile controller. If she pushes that button we are SCREWED!* Got it. Need to play it cool. “Wow Pinkie where did you get that thing from?” “Don’t you remember? You gave it to me at the party last night. You even showed me how to use it! Now I can get as much Ice cream as I want. Thanks Dave!” Pinkie says with a bright smile. Do I really need to take it away from her? She really likes is. *It won’t last forever so it should be fine. But you need to get that controller from the gray one.* Is it the missile controller? *Yes, and don’t ask what will happen when she pushes the button because if she knew she would press is in an instant.* How do you know that? *That’s simple. It’s Derpy. She loves muffins. No more needs to be said.* So she will press it just because she loves muffins? *…Yes.* You won’t tell me what it does will you? *Not likely.* Fine. “So who’s your friend Pinkie?” “It’s Derpy silly. The voice in your head just told you. Oh I almost forgot does he like cupcakes I love cupcakes but Derpy likes muffins more but there’s nothing wrong with that and she still likes cupcakes just not as much but how can you not like cupcakes I mean they are so sweet and yummy you can’t get enough of them especially me I hold the record of eating cupcakes in one sitting I ate 100 but after that I got sick and almost threw up and did you know that if Derpy presses that button its will rain muffins?” It took me a few seconds to register what she just said but before I could say anything I heard Derpy gasp. *SHIIIIIT! GET THE CONTROLLER NOW!!! HURRY BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!* But it will only rain muffins, right? *You idiot! It will be a MISSILE! Stop her.* I ran towards her, reaching for the controller but she sees me and flies above me out the door while I give chase. I run out of the store and see her hovering in the air, I yell “Derpy, don’t press the button! Please!” But she only looks at me and raises her hoof and gives out a war cry as she brings her hoof down on the button. “MUFFIIIIIINS!!!” The moment she presses the button we hear a loud boom from the sky. I look up and see a huge missile that looks like a… A… Muffin? *RUN! GET TO COVER IN THE LIBRARY, ITS YOUR ONLY HOPE!* I took off like a bullet and ran towards the library as the muffin got closer. When I see the library I yell out “Twilight! Open the door!” I’m only a few meters away when opens the door and sees me running. She jumps to the side as I run inside and close the door. Before I can even catch my breath I hear a large explosion. I look out the window and it’s… It’s raining muffins! What the hell is happening? *The moment the missile makes contact with anything it will explode, shooting muffins everywhere as it leaves behind a muffin cloud of mass destruction.* How big is the radius? *let’s just say that Ponyville will be eating muffins for a while.* Are you serious? *Sadly, yes. But look on the bright side.* What bright side? *FREE MUFFINS!* WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! Look at the damage it did! All the windows are destroyed, the SCC is nowhere to be seen, and the muffins are just coming down. It’s a miracle that no one was outside. Wait. Where is everypony? I didn’t see anypony today. *Let’s think about that later, you’re already in deep shit.* And why is that? *Look down.* I did and I see Twilight just standing there looking out the window. *Back away slowly. And maybe she won’t notice you.* It was a great idea. But, sadly, we will never find out if it would have worked because Twilight turned to me and I could see fire in her eyes. *Is that smoke coming from Twilights mane?* “What. Did. You. DO!?” I can really hear the anger in her voice. I was about to answer her but I hear a loud cry coming from the floor above. “Great! Now you woke up Shooting Star! It took me an hour to get him to fall asleep.” “I’m very sorry about this Twilight but it wasn’t my fault, I swear.” *And here comes the aftershock.* Aftershock? And another boom came and it was a HELL of a lot louder boom than before. The ground was shacking and every window in Ponyville shattered and ALL the books fell down from the bookcases in the library. Her eyes glared daggers at me and the smoke coming from mane her turned to embers. *Don’t run, just stand still. If you run it will only make you look guilty. But just to be safe, you should grab your sword.* I lean over and grab the sword and put it behind my back. The embers were now growing bigger and her eye look like it was death itself. Before I could say anything her mane burst into flames right before my eyes. *Congratulations, your Twilight has evolved into a Rapidash. Now if you want to survive this encounter there is only one way. RUN! RUN TO THE HILLS, RUN FOR YOU LIFE AND NEVER STOP!* My survival instincts kick in and before I knew it I was running out the door. I only got a few meters away when I heard a loud scream of rage coming from the library that made me fear for my life. I wish I could say that I was running away from a monster to lure it away from the town. I wish I could say that I ran with my pride intact. But that would be lying. I’m running away from Twilight, a pony, not a monster, towards the Everfree forest, screaming at the top of my lungs like a girl. WERE THE HELL DID THE SO CALLED ‘AFTERSHOCK’ COME FROM!? *The first explosion was only the shell shattering and making the muffin cloud but the last one was the rest of it going ‘boom’* TWO FUCKING EXPLOSIONS FROM ONE MISSILE!? *A MUFFIN missile.* I DON’T FUCKING CARE, JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE! *I can’t do that but if you turn around you can see that Twilight is chasing you and is charging up a spell that look like a firestorm.* WHAT? I look over my shoulder and sure enough she is running after me and charging a spell. FUUUUUUCK! She threw the spell and a tornado of purple fire is coming right towards me. IS SHE TRYING TO KILL ME? *Turn left in four seconds if you want to live.* I ran into an ally still running for my life. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUCK. *Turn right now.* I’m now running in a straight line to the forest and I can feel hope, Hope that I will survive, hope that Twilight won’t follow me into the forest, hope that in the forest I would be safe. But that little hope was smashed to piece as Twilight teleported a few meters in front of me. *Keep running!* ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!? *A little but just trust Me.* What other chose did I have. I ran. She was just about to cast another spell. *Grab her horn!* I reached out and grabbed it and the glowing vanished. I let go of her horn and ran the rest of the way into the forest hearing another scream of rage. “DAAAAAAAAAVE!!!” *Well that was… fun.* Fun? Fun!? FUN!!? I ALMOST DIED! *But you didn’t. You should be happy about that.* FUCK YOU! WERE DID THAT MISSILE COME FROM ANYWAY!? *The sky?* YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! *Fine jeez. Well, to make things simple. A lot of things happen last night. The only thing I wonder is how the hell we got drunk. There was no alcohol.* You mean everypony got drunk? *Probably. Too bad I don’t remember anything. Just think, drunk ponies. HA, I’d pay to see that* HAH. I know what you mean. So, what now? *let’s explore and you should clean your shoes.* Why? *you were running on muffins if you don’t remember. Just look under your shoves. You’re lucky you didn’t trip.* I did. Holy muffins, that’s disgusting. *Told you. Just grab a stick and scrap it of.* Alright. After that I walked deeper into the forest and after a few hours I was getting tired. Damn, it’s getting dark I need to find a place to sleep. I start to look around and spotted a cave. Is that a cave? *Fuck.* "Now wasn't that fun? i thought it was hilarious and this was the first chapter the other part 'He means me' wrote all by himself. Bye for now.