Pinkie was bounding through Ponyville's fields - again. She often went through them all, just to feel the straw through her hair and the wind blow. The silence - unblemished by civilisation. She often found herself lying on the hill, just past the 4th meadow, under the big oak tree. Pinkie would just lie there, under the setting sun, relaxing as much as anypony possibly could. She often found herself pondering things - normally surprisingly philosophical for Pinkie. The day before, it was about the sky, and the night stars. What were they? Why were they there? She kept track of her thinkings in a small, white notebook. A simple floral pattern lay across the front cover, with the words 'Pinkie's Diary' sprawled across it. The first few pages were scribblings and drawings of the sunset and Canterlot in the distance. After that, they became an alternating pattern of drawings and writing. Unknown to everypony else, this diary was where Pinkie trapped her emotions and feelings, along with records of what she had done that day. Today though, she asked herself the inevitable.
What was romance? Why were Rarity and Fluttershy so into it?
Chapter 1: Research
The sun set slowly behind the silhouette of Manehattan. Pinkie adored sunsets - they gave her the time to think and admire. Tonight, the wispy clouds were few in number, backed by a pale blue sky which faded to orange towards the sunset. The wind was gentle, enough to cool you but not enough to make you feel cold. The grass swayed around her, on the 4th meadow's hill. She had to ask herself whether there was anything better in life. This beat continuous cupcake baking any day! The hill was her secret, her reclusive space. One day, she hoped to share it with somepony she cared about. She drifted off under the oak tree, with whistling birds and the faint swaying sound of straw in her ears.
*chirp, chirp*
Pinkie rolled over away from the rising sun and rubbed her eyes. Judging by the sun's position, she awoke at 10 o'clock. Mrs Cake was probably waiting for her. Despite the circumstances, Pinkie didn't rush and slowly sat up against the tree. Today was Saturday - nopony wanted cakes on a Saturday. Besides, if you are already late, does being any later make any difference? Probably, but not in her line of work. A squirrel scuttled by in front of her, giving her a quick glance before rushing up the tree into a hole above her head. She got up and peered inside - a squirrel family. After her thoughts last night, this hit home. The couple looked so happy together, sharing food and looking after their child. Pinkie staggered back, almost dazed. No wonder Fluttershy liked animals... She shook the thoughts from her head and turned around to face the meadow. Today, she would work super hard and leave early. Then, she would sort something out.
*ring, ring*
The door chimed as Pinkie walked into Sugarcube Corner.
"Hi, Mrs Cake!"
"Oh, Pinkie! It's not like you to not sleep in your apartment!"
"Yeah... Long story."
"Well, I am not too interested right now. Another time? I need a batch of 'special mix cupcakes' pronto!"
"Yes ma'am!" Pinkie made a mock salute and ran into the kitchen. The babies were at the side of the room, playing around with their toys. Pinkie staggered again.
"No! Pinkamena Diane Pie! Pull yourself together!" she stood up straighter and began her work. Eggs, flour, milk. Chocolate, sugar, more sugar. Whisking, mixing and baking. The same old routine, every day. Pinkie wondered whether she interpreted her cutie mark wrong... It wasn't a cupcake after all. Maybe she should run a party business! She could organise parties AND get paid! Bouncy castles, sweets, DJ decks, music! So awesome! But to run a company she needed help. But that meant needing somepony... Pinkie almost staggered again, but caught hold of the counter. She fell onto her haunches and held her head in her hooves. She couldn't work like this! Mr Cake walked in to retrieve his children, only to walk in on Pinkie having a breakdown.
"A-are you okay?"
"*sniff* I'm fine... Just having a tough time right now. I'll be ok."
"Well, okay. But if you need help or support I'm here for you."
"Thanks, Mr Cake. I might have to take you up on that."
"That bad, huh? You're in your prime! Don't let things slow you down! Take the day off. Talk to your friends, get counselling. Do something. Living in pain or grief isn't living at all. I would know."
"I guess you're right... Thanks Mr Cake." Pinkie got up and hugged him, and headed outside.
The weather today was exactly the same as last night - warm, cool breeze, slight humid tang to the air and clear skies. Pinkie headed straight off to Fluttershy's house. If anypony was able to aid her, it would be the Element of Kindness. Fluttershy's tree was within visible distance, about 10 minutes walk away. Ever since the royal wedding and Canterlot's boom with its economy, Ponyville has doubled in size. New ponies walk in everyday, making Pinkie very happy. Meet, greet, make friends, smile. Simple! Pinkie was aware that her 10 minute walk was going to lead to her asking questions again, so she tried to stop off at different places along the route. Market stalls, shops, the school and the bridge. The bridge had always had a special meaning to Pinkie, which nopony else had. She was brought up on a rock farm... With extremely un-fun parents. Once she started throwing parties every day, they essentially disowned her. They just left her one day on the farm to fend for herself, at Sweetie Belle's age. She had no chance. She left the farm and attempted to head towards civilisation - Ponyville. It was on the other side of a river, that happened to lead from the dam to the town. Upon trying to climb across the river at its thinnest point, she slipped and fell in. She was forced by current towards Ponyville's centre, under the bridge. She emerged on the other side on the bank. There, an older couple found her washed up. She was brought up by them until they too disappeared. Pinkie began to lose hope, and began to walk the streets of Ponyville. It was on one of these days that she discovered the hill in the 4th meadow. It was just the right amount of shaded, clear and sunny. Mrs and Mr Cake found her one night outside their shop, and took her in. They sheltered her - and here she is today. Pinkie owed them everything, yet they continued to give. She began to think she would be indebted her whole life! Without realising, Pinkie's re-accounting of these events in her head made time pass quickly, and she was at Fluttershy's door.
"Oh... Okay then!" Pinkie bounded off away from Fluttershy's house. She was busy with sick animals, and she said Pinkie should come back later. Everypony seemed to say something similar! Strange... Pinkie decided to try the next most helpful pony - Twilight! She only lived a few houses away, so getting there wasn't hard. Twilight would help, even if she didn't want to today! She had books, free time and was eager to help her friends. Pinkie approached Twilight's door.
"Hi Pinkie!" Spike called from above. He was on a ladder, about 20 feet up... Cleaning windows?
"Hi Spike! Is Twilight in today?"
"Yeah, she's having some emotional problems. She would probably like to see you!" Spike tried to repress a giggle.
"Oh, okay! Thanks Spike!" Pinkie opened the door and went in. Spike burst into laughter.
Twilight was upstairs, on her bed. She was seemingly upset, maybe Spike was right. She had closed the curtains and was sitting there writing.
"Pinkie! What are you doing here?" Twilight snapped up her book.
"Spike said you were upset. I came to see you... And so am I."
"Oh, Pinkie." Twilight put her book on the bedside table and went over to Pinkie. "I'm pretty sure you are in a better state than I am!"
"No... I-I can't look at children! Couples! Families! It hurts!" Pinkie clutched her head and curled up into a ball, a bit too small - even for Pinkie!
"Oh... Why? Do you have-"
"I NEED somepony. I'm so lonely, all the time. That's why I throw parties! To get friends! To see ponies! But once it's over..."
"Oh Pinkie! That's terrible! Why didn't you say something!" Twilight had started combing Pinkie's hair with her brush.
"I... I couldn't. I held myself back. Twilight... Come with me. I need to show you something. Go to Sugarcube Corner at 7 o'clock. If you want to help... You'd go." Pinkie uncurled herself and got up. "Please." Pinkie walked out.
"Wow... I never knew Pinkie was so... Troubled. Maybe it's her split personality or something..."