Here’s a question, what would you do if your daughter brought home your deity one day?
What if she did that, and just happened to mention during the introduction that she and said divine being were sleeping together?
It was this strange conundrum that Twilight’s parents now faced with their daughter. After all, Celestia had made up the moral bedrock of pony society for years. It wasn’t exactly like they could say she was a bad choice for Twilight considering who she was. And playing the status card wasn’t much of an option either, since Celestia had run their government without constraint not a day gone. So any real opposition they had to try and break the sun goddess and the little goddess of whatever the hell deific portfolio Twilight held up was pretty much non-existent.
Which was why once the four of us had adopted the same dress code as our hosts and joined Twilight’s parents at the dinner table as Velvet brought out some salads, an uncomfortable silence settled over the room. Both of the parents stole a few glances at the creature that had been around before either of their grandparents every now and then, but said nothing while everyone in the room but me slowly ate their dinner.
As for our party, both me and Rainbow sat closer to Twilight than what was the norm for ponies in an attempt to offer some emotional support, or just throw our pony-arms around her if she started to lose it. With the rectangular table only meant for six, Celestia sat at its head and picked at the salad I gave her instead of eating. I wasn’t sure if this put the pony parents more on edge since...well, pony-God didn’t seem to like the choice of food she was given.
Rainbow had some sparkling cider while Twilight had chosen grape juice after some hesitant glances at her parents and their ‘alcoholic’ drinks; or whatever the hell ponies called the stuff that made them drunk. Whatever it was, the end result was the same. Like always, I settled for water.
They ate.
I drank.
No one talked.
And I Smelled Twilight’s nervousness ever so slowly change from a uneasy fear, to a simmering anger as she stole glances at her parents. Don’t ask me what caused it though. I smelled emotions, I didn’t read minds.
On about the tenth minute of nothing happening, Celestia looked up from her food and over to the two unicorns sitting across from Twilight. “So the way I see it, there are two ways we can proceed,” she told them after pausing a second when the two of them flinched. “You can either ignore my presence in favor to talking to Rainbow Dash with questions that you’ve probably already prepared, or you can ask me all those questions that are no doubt running through your minds at the moment. But one way or another, we will speak and sort this all out tonight. You will get all your questions about my little pegasus and myself answered. Agreed?”
Sitting closer to Celestia than her husband, Velvet slowly looked over to the goddess and gulped. “Why?”
Celestia directed her hoof towards us. “Because I love those three as much as any mare can. And I see what this is doing to Twilight,” she said before looking back to the others. “If I had waited for her to make introductions according to her own schedule, she would have worried, and panicked, and stressed herself out with nights of lost sleep. I didn’t want to see her in such pain, so I preempted it.”
When Twilight gave Celestia a confused look, I giggled and wrapped my foreleg around hers before leaning in to whisper in my purple pony’s ear. “So Tia’s got a method to her madness.”
Silence fell over the table again, and I just darted my eyes back and forth between Celestia and Twilight’s parents to observe the odd dynamic that was being displayed. Usually when a daughter brought the person that was fucking her home, mom and dads got all judgmental, scolding, and about a million other things that basically turned their first meeting into an interrogation. Sure ponies were different, but...I had to answer some questions when I got around to my dinner with them. But in this case, it was the girl Twilight brought home that was looking down at the cowed parents like the larger than life figure that she was.
The two unicorns took another bite of their food. Although it looked more like they were chewing over their thoughts than what was in their mouths. When Nightlight swallowed his greenery, he looked up to Celestia. “How did it happen?” he asked without any enthusiasm or authority in his voice.
Then Celestia frowned ever so slightly, and he glanced over to Rainbow Dash at the last second. “W-With both of you, I mean.”
I didn’t know if Nightlight was genuinely curious about just how Rainbow had hooked up with the rest of us, if he was just sticking to this list that Celestia had talked about, or just placating his goddess by feigning interest in the woman both Tia and Twilight loved. But, I supposed it also didn’t matter that much either.
Celestia looked over to Dash and put on a little smile. “Rainbow, would you like to go first?” she asked in her usual gentle voice. “You were with them before I was after all.”
Rainbow let out a nervous laugh as everyone’s attention shifted to her. “Well uh…sure,” she said before taking a few seconds to take a deep breath. “Um, after Celestia’s announcer pony came through town and told everypony about herding, and I mean like, the day after, Twilight and Fae just showed up where I was practicing and asked me out on a date.”
Being the responsible, courageous, and all around heroic pony that I was, I quickly added my two cents to the discussion. “Which was completely Twilight’s idea.”
Twilight’s Scent became a whiff of some emotional discomfort through my nose, and looked over to her in confusion. Before I could ask what was wrong, Rainbow opened her big mouth. “Course, I turned them down.”
“Yes,” Celestia added. “Omnifarious was quite broken up over that. I held him for most of the night to try and console him.” I slunk down on the floor just a little bit when she finished. That…really hadn’t been one of my proudest moments.
Another few seconds of supremely awkward silence followed. White waiting for everything to get going again, I tested the air. Twilight’s annoyance had gone up, Tia Smelled…worried, and Dash seemed to be a little confused. Velvet and her stallion were a long way from happy too.
Twilight Velvet was the one to start talking again. “So, Twilight…what made you go after this…interesting young mare?”
When the Scent Princess Twilight was giving off more than doubled, I started to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Well, Cadence had said that she and I needed to show the ponies of Equestria herding was a good idea, so it was a requirement for me. And when it came to my options, well…we were already best friends…and uh, Rainbow had been such a wonderful teacher to me, and…Omnifarious really seemed to like her…and…she…I...I...”
The little alicorn began to tremble, and Rainbow reached over with a wing and a hoof to gentle touch the purple pony. “Twilight?”
In response to her name, the princess lowered her head and held her eyes closed as tightly as they would go. “I did it because I was afraid of her!”
…
…
“…what?” I was pretty sure I had spoken the words, but they sounded like they had come from Rainbow Dash too.
And then Twilight looked over at me with a frown. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about! After Chrysalis, the only reason we were together is because Cadence made you stay with me! And then we got back to Ponyville, and I tried to pretend everything was great. But then you started pulling away from me because you were a mare and-and you started spending more and more time with Rainbow, and less time with me. And then I r-remembered how you acted around her when you first came to Ponyville and you started practicing for the Equestria games, and…and I just. I thought it was the only way to keep you!”
I stared at Twilight for a few seconds as my ears slowly dropped and…I just… I didn’t know what to do.
“W-Whoa, that’s not-”
Twilight spun around before the pegasus could get another word out. “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice Rainbow!” she insisted. “From the moment Omnifarious got to Ponyville, he’s been crazy about you! All you had to do was clap your hooves, and he would have come galloping to you. I was terrified that you could have taken him from me anytime you wanted!”
I…had to admit…Twilight had a point. Not that I would have ever broken up with her. On that she was wrong, but…for a good long while, I had paid more attention to Rainbow Dash than I did her. Okay, it was because I was finally free to fan boy over her stories and everything else she did, but…
Yeah, that was no excuse. I left Twilight out in the cold. If she had been a human instead of a pony, I’m pretty sure I would have come home one night to find the real Flash Sentry pounding her into the bed. And deserved it.
For her part, Rainbow looked just about as hurt and Twilight was remorseful. “Twilight…I…I would have never…and if Fairy had even tried…no, not in a million years,” she whispered.
And with Rainbow’s words came a spark of anger from within me. Anger at Twilight. I mean, just because I was buddies with Rainbow didn’t mean I was about to get rid of the purple pony! How in the hell could she even consider something like that?
It was just like when I…thought she was going to run off with Princess Celestia.
“I-I know,” Twilight said before she hiccupped and blinked away a few tears before she nodded up to her parents. “But they asked!” Then she looked at Rainbow, and me when she scooted back on the floor a little bit to get us both in view. “And you both deserve the truth. And the truth is, I didn’t bring you into this relationship because of my duty to Equestria, or even because I thought it would work out between us. I knew it was a possibility, but…I did it because I was afraid! I did it because I thought it was the only way I could keep a hold on my stallion.” She let out a sniffle, and started to shake. “And I am ashamed of it!”
And just like that, the anger vanished before it could light a fire.
I reached to grab onto Twilight, and froze when I felt a hoof. After looking up to see Rainbow doing the same thing I was, we readjusted ourselves and wrapped the alicorn in a double embrace with our legs and wings.
Then Dash patted her on the back with a wing and whispered into the alicorn’s ear. “Oh come on Twilight, it’s not that big a deal, right?”
“H-How can you say that?” she whispered back.
Rainbow released Twilight from her hug and sat up before she took a deep breath. “Because it was the same with me.”
My body moved away from the huddle hug like Twilight had been set on fire, and I looked over to Rainbow in confusion. “Wait, what?” I mean, I knew she had been nervous as hell that first week, but that had been because she had been afraid of us having a friendship problem moment and the three of us causing too much damage to fix.
“Look,” Rainbow began after she broke the hold with Twilight to get some distance so she could move her eyes back and forth between the two of us. “You guys went on and on about no pressure but…do you have any idea how much pressure you put me under anyway!?”
The agitated way Rainbow spoke made we wince. Not to mention feel like a total idiot. “Then…why didn’t you break it off? I…I would have understood,” I mumbled. Cried like a baby to Tia at night and maybe latched onto Rainbow while crying for her not to leave me, but…it would have been an understanding kind of pathetic pleading at least.
Rainbow broke eye contact to look away from us. “You remember when we woke up together for the first time?”
I had to think for a few seconds to bring up the memory of the first time the three of us shared a bed. Thanks to the reputation as sluts Twilight and I had developed among the residents of Ponyville, Rainbow had been expecting to get eaten out the night after our first date. What we did instead was a simple sharing of a princess-sized bed, making a pegasus sandwich with alicorn bread. There was a little bit of innocent fooling around going on before we went to sleep and in the morning, but…all in all the whole thing was harmless.
Me and Twilight took a second to share a confused look. “Well…yes,” Twilight said after a few moments. “I was in the big spoon position and you were facing Fae. Then you woke up and she told you good morning before kissing you on the nose. Then I rolled you onto your back so I could give you a kiss, and we spent the morning cuddling with some light kissing. But we do that just about every morning.”
“Yeah but…look Twilight, you’ve always had somepony to wake up to, and Fae doesn’t even go to sleep, really,” she said softly before letting out a sigh. “Ever since I moved to Ponyville when I turned eighteen, I’ve lived alone. Going to sleep by myself and waking up alone. It’s just about as far from awesome as you can get. So when we started going to sleep together, and the two of you woke me up, and we did all our…ya know, stuff…I-I didn’t want it to end.”
Then she looked over to me with a smile. “And then you told me that all you wanted was for me to be happy and I realized that my happiness was with the two of you.” It was the adorable smile she shot me with that helped end my worries more than her words though.
And then…
Well, people who are in love will tell you that there are moments when you’re so enamored with someone that nothing else matters. Everything else just fades away, and all you seem to notice is the person in front of you. In my case, it was the two distressed ponies in front of me as we shared one of those moment…things.
Then that little moment we were having was shattered into a thousand pieces when someone across the table from us coughed in that way people do to get attention, and I was reminded that we had an audience. “Yes well, that’s very…interesting,” Nightlight said in an even tone before looking over to the biggest pony in the room and speaking with a voice that cracked when he met the goddess’s unhappy gaze . “And Princess Celestia? How did you um, fall for my daughter?”
Apparently, Celestia didn’t like seeing her three waifus getting our emotional time cut short. Because as soon as the question was asked, her attitude turn a turn for the worse. “Thanks to an unintended side effect of saving Omnifarious’s life, he and I share a dreamscape every night,” she began. “Because of this, I opened up to him like no other pony before save for my sister. And from that, I fell in love with him as well as developed feelings for Twilight and her friends.”
Twilight cocked her head to the side for a second, and I could almost see the exclamation point form above her head as something occurred to the alicorn. “Wait a minute! You said friends, as in plural? But-but the only one of my friends I’m in a relationship with is Rainbow! Who else did you fall in love with?”
Celestia let out a little laugh. “Oh Twilight,” she soothed the smaller alicorn. “I said developed feelings for, not fell in love with. I’m old enough that I don’t go head over hooves for a mare at the drop of a hat.” A devilish smile creeped its way across Celestia’s mouth at that, and she leaned down to look at her purple lover in the eye. “But if you really want to know, I consider all of your friends more than suitable candidates for our herd.”
“All…my…friends?”
As Twilight started to have an aneurism, Rainbow looked over to Celestia with a careful frown. “Is this that choose to fall in love stuff that you told me about outside the Crystal Empire?” she asked. Which got a nod from Tia in response.
The goddess laughed. “Yes Rainbow. Just because I like somepony doesn’t mean I’m going to pursue them. Especially if the three of you wish us to remain as we are.”
“Uh no offense Tia, but I had enough of a nervous breakdown when I ended up with the three of you,” I added right on top of Rainbow’s question. “Really don’t think I could survive six.” Especially after learning just why Rainbow had decided to join our little group. Every time I thought about that, the guilt just kind of welled up inside of me.
Okay, even if it wasn’t mind control. It was pretty much the next thing to it, which was still pretty bad. Still, the real question was: just what the hell could I do about it? We were already sleeping with Rainbow!
And… This is how Twilight must have felt, I realized before reaching over to hold fetlocks with the alicorn. After all, she had said that the only reason I stayed with her was because of Cadence.
So my little herd consisted of a guy that was threatened into staying with his girlfriend, another girlfriend that me and my first girlfriend forced into the relationship, and a third girlfriend that had a roaming eye that wandered towards four other girls; one of whom was taken. Considering all of that, I had to wonder just what the hell we were even doing together.
“Then I am perfectly fine having three ponies that I love very much return my romantic affections, and four more that will simply love as good friends,” Celestia assured me, cutting my thoughts short before she leaned in towards the three of us again. “Does that ease your worries, you two?”
While Twilight brightened considerably at the prospect of not filling the bed up anymore, I…managed to fake it. Truth be told, I already knew Tia wasn’t going to be chasing any more tail. She had told all of us that in the Crystal Empire after all, and Rainbow got the message twice. It was the beginnings of our relationship with Rainbow that I was hung up on.
Another minute of silence followed, and then Velvet looked over to Rainbow. “So Ms Dash, what is it that you do exactly?” she asked. Considering her quick recovery, or maybe apathy at what was going on in front of her. I was pretty sure the mare had some kind of list. “I bet a pony that was chosen to be an Element of Harmony like our Twilight must have quite the impressive educational and occupational background!”
That’s when the warning sirens started going off in my head. Okay sure, I hadn’t really gotten to know Twilight’s parents outside of a single private dinner and public meeting, but judging about how Twilight talked about them at lunch, Velvet and Nightlight were…well, I couldn’t really call them super judgmental, but… They seemed the kind of parents that only wanted their child to get the best, and not in a good way.
“Nah,” Rainbow said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “I dropped out of flight school and got a job kicking clouds in Ponyville when I was eighteen.”
Needless to say, the whole thing kind of went downhill from there…
Whether it was because she was too angry to use magic, or just wanted the satisfaction that came with the feeling of hitting something, Twilight didn’t bother to use her powers as she opened the door to the outside. She simply smacked the thing as hard as she could, and let it swing around to bang against the front of the house. Then the little alicorn moved forward with an angry stride, as if she was trying to smash the cobblestones that made the path through her parents’ front yard.
The rest of us followed her lead at a much less destructive walk, but kept our distance at Celestia’s urging. I kept myself close to Rainbow despite a few halfhearted attempts to distance herself from us, and managed to drag her back to where Celestia and I were as she folded up our dresses into neatly packed squares.
I threw a wing around my little pegasus’s back. “It’s okay Rainbow. We don’t-”
Then, the reason for Twilight’s indignation ran past me and the other two winged ponies on the block with its own anger evident on her face. “Twilight Sparkle you get back here this instant! Storming out like a filly throwing a tantrum. I’ve never been so embarrassed in all my life!”
To which Twilight responded by freezing in place, and spinning around to glare at her mother. “YOU’VE never been embarrassed? YOU? You-you have the…gall to be embarrassed after what you just said?” she shrieked.
Velvet got a little stiff and drew herself up to her full height that still fell short of Twilight’s, even with the extra little centimeter she had gained from straining. “Well if throw away everything I’ve done to make you a success by choosing to be with that-that delinquent? Then YES, I’M EMBARRASSED!”
As the argument between Twilight and her mother continued to devolve into more of a verbal brawl, I looked up at the big alicorn standing next to me. “Hey Tia, remember how you can tell the future and stuff?” I asked.
“What you’ve done for me?” Twilight demanded. “You haven’t done anything for me since I was ten years old!”
Celestia let out a loud hmmm, and met me eye to eye. “Well it’s not as simple as you make it sound-”
“If it weren’t for me, you would have never even gotten into Celestia’s school, or gotten the grades to stay there!” she yelled back. “If it wasn’t for me shipping your brother off to military school, all you would have done is played with Shining Armor and throw fits about how I wouldn’t let Cadence come foal-sit you anymore because she was too distracting! If it wasn’t for me locking you in your room to help achieve good study habits, you would have flunked out of Celestia’s school in the first week! So I’m just trying to understand why you think it’s alright to throw away everything I ever gave you to be with that-that podunk pegasus!”
“-dearest,” the goddess finished. “I’ll admit, I still get blindsided from time to time. Like when Blueblood attempted to take the throne. That was…extremely unexpected.”
The fighting went on with Twilight’s reply that was consisted of a plethora of words starting with the letter a. Then Velvet yelled back in response.
I nodded, and glanced back to the mother/daughter battle as Twilight glared at her mother for a moment before their arguing resumed. Then I turned my attentions back to Tia. “So uh…did you see this one coming?”
The alicorn cowered at the question ever so slightly. “Well…”
“SEX TOY?” Twilight screeched at the top of her lungs. “HOW IN THE PIT OF TARTARUS COULD YOU POSSIBLY EVEN THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT?”
“What am I supposed to think when you bring home an empty-headed pegasus that couldn’t even finish flight school and has more muscles than most stallions?” Velvet demanded. “As disturbing as it is, at least the Princess and your bug fillyfriend are a pair of ponies befitting of your station! So you must keep her around for something! You know, Shining at least managed to get a respectable mare to get me some grandfoals!”
“…more or less,” she finished before walking past me and taking a breath.
Twilight spread her wings and snarled at her mother. “You, you, you! Ever since I came here tonight, all I’ve heard is how much I’ve ruined your life by dating a stupid PEGASUS!”
I felt some movement beneath my wing, and caught so many Scents coming from Rainbow that I couldn’t make them out thanks to all the yelling distracting me. Still, it was pretty obvious what a pony like Dash would do when some old hag insults her. “Calm down Rainbow. Just ignore her.”
The last thing we needed tonight was Rainbow Dash KOing both of Twilight’s parents.
Velvet gave Twilight a distasteful humph. “Don’t try and turn this into something it’s not Twilight!” she told her daughter before poking her with a hoof. “You know that one of my best friends is a pegasus! It’s just unlike your jock friend, she managed to complete her basic education and went on to study at the Academy before becoming a well-respected author! What has your little feathered friend done besides follow you around on your adventures?”
My pretty little pony retreated a step at the accusation, and went into her computational mode a second later. I caught sight of her eyes moving the slightest bit, as if she were quickly reading through report after report. However, before Twilight had compiled enough evidence to floor Velvet, another member of our party intervened.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!”
The roar from Celestia’s mouth, and it was a roar, left my ears ringing and dogs barking for what had to be several blocks. Lights were starting to turn on all around us, and Celestia didn’t seem to care a bit about any of it. All she had eyes for were the pair of ponies standing in front of her.
Twilight looked up at the bigger alicorn with wide eyes, and then blushed before she turned her attention to the floor with a red face and a Smell I could only call shame. “I-I’m sorry Princess Celestia. I should have kept my temper in check,” she apologized.
Across from Twilight, Velvet sniffed indignantly. “You should be. Talking that way to your own mother and acting like a filly throwing a tantrum.”
Although I had mostly been preoccupied with keeping Dash under control during the fight instead of jumping in, and down Velvet’s throat for her actions, the sudden change in Twilight demeanor from raging anger to fully cowed made me bristle. “Are you kidding me?”
Instead of giving me a direct reply, Celestia threw out a wing to block my view of the unicorn. “Ms Velvet. I thank you for your hospitality, and feel the four of us need to depart before things degrade any further.”
For the first time since Twilight and Velvet’s shouting match began, it seemed the off-white unicorn noticed the goddess. She had the decency to cringe at the flat tone of Celestia’s voice, and gulped. If I had to bet, the numerous roundabout insults she had thrown at Rainbow were coming back to haunt her. “Yes, ah-he…t-thank you for coming by Princess.”
“Oh, And in response to your question on my side of things…I never even attended a school in all the years my long life. In fact, my position was simply given the title of princess because of my heritage. A position I no longer have I remind you,” she said before her expression darkened. “So, factoring that into some of your previous statements that gave a summarization to my fillyfriend’s status, you are in fact wrong. I happen to be the most uneducated, featherbrained, stupid pony with the loudest mouth you have ever met. Not Rainbow.”
Velvet gulped as Celestia inched her neck just a little forward and went to looming over the unicorn. “Uh…”
If Celestia took notice of the unicorn’s unease, which I know she did, she didn’t comment on it, or even acknowledge its existence. “So, thank you for the meal. I am sure your husband will be fine once he comes to,” she said before turning around so sharply Velvet had to back away to avoid being smacked in the face by Tia’s ass. “Come along you three, it’s time we headed to Ponyville.”
I didn’t know why Celestia insisted on the four of us flying home. The air was so thick with tension that we probably could have walked instead.
Twilight took the lead. But I could Smell her mix of anger and fear from over ten feet back. Even nearly half an hour of flying hadn’t let her clear her head from the lingering emotions. Not that I could blame her for that, or how she acted at the house.
The argument between Twilight and her parents had started as most such things do. Unlike when I first met the alicorn’s mom and dad. Parents disapprove of daughter’s actions, daughter…wilts under their disapproval, giant pony princess gives me signal to keep quiet, girlfriend defends daughter, father insults girlfriend, father uses magic to wave knife around like a scolding finger, girlfriend throws salad bowl at father and knocks him out, mother insults and threatens girlfriend, daughter explodes at mother, and…then they moved the argument outside. Add other love interests to keep ponies in their respective corners and ring the bell when it's time to stop. All in all, a bad situation for everyone involved.
Something told me Twilight had a real problem defying not just Celestia, but any authority figure she had grown up with. Which kind of made me wonder if that was the reason Celestia kept us out of it.
Then there was Rainbow. Unlike what was usual for her, she lagged behind us without going so slow we needed to decrease the pace. Unlike Twilight, the only thing I could get from her was…despondence. Rainbow was extremely upset about something, and I found the whole thing much more troubling than Twilight’s more logical reaction.
Tia and me were in the middle and…the alicorn seemed as stoic as ever on the surface. Beneath, I could Smell that she was upset over the turn of events. However, I didn’t have much sympathy for the pony that sat there instead of defending her so-called girlfriend.
…not that I was much better.
The actions of the dinner ran through my head again, and I…felt ashamed. When I had first come to Equestria, any insult to the rainbow pony would have set me off like a nuclear bomb. But not even an hour ago, I had sat there and let another pony berate her whole fucking life because…what?
Because Tia told me to? I’ll admit the alicorn knew better than me about pretty much everything, but…not standing up for someone you love didn’t seem like all that smart a move to me. But I had just sat down like a good little pony and did as she said.
Well, okay…I might have had another reason. I could remember the first time I had met Twilight’s parents and…the memory still played in my head. If I had stepped in to do something, Rainbow’s first meal with Twilight’s parents might have very well been a repeat of mine.
The realization of that made me want to throw up. I picked my own comfort over that of hers…and it sickened me.
I opened my mouth to ask which one of the girls Celestia wanted to talk to, and then clicked it shut without saying a word. Then I took a second to gather myself. “I’ll talk to Rainbow. You handle the purple one.”
After I cut back to come up beside Rainbow’s position, I felt my heart lurch. Up close, the pegasus looked even more pathetic. Dash was actually slumped down on both sides of her body as she was flying, making it look like what was really holding the pegasus up were some kind of invisible wires attached to her back where her wings met body.
I had to gulp down my self-hatred at letting things get like this, and opened my mouth. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
The words coming from Rainbow’s mouth right on top of mine made my brain stop working for a second. I actually had to flap my wings harder to keep from falling out of the sky and catch up with Dash. By the time I did, she had already started talking before I could stop her with the confused question of ‘what?’.
“I can’t believe I bucked things up so bad,” she went on before I Smelled the sadness in her well up and tears actually start to form in her eyes. “I just…they started talking that way to Twilight and I got so mad, then Twilight’s dad started waving that butter knife around and-and, ragging on me and her and I just…I-I lost it!”
As Rainbow’s face twisted in pain so much she couldn’t even speak, I reached out to grab her foreleg in a hug. I would have gone for more, but…well, part of me knew pegasi could remain flying as long as their wings could flap no matter what, but a greater part of me also ‘knew’ giving someone a hug while they were flying was a good way to crash.
I put my lips up near her ear to whisper. “Oh Dashie no,” I told her while kissing the back of the pegasus’s organic hearing implement. “No, you have nothing to apologize for.”
Although I didn’t want to move, and all my instincts were telling me to smother the pegasus with light kisses to reassure her of my affection, I flew around her and pumped my wings a little hard to fly backwards and look at her eye to eye before I locked both of her fetlocks in my own. “I’m the one that needs to apologize Dash. Those two ponies were saying such awful things about you, and I just sat there.”
“Hey! I can fight my own battles!” Rainbow exclaimed with a frown as she started to pull away from me.
The way Dash reacted to my words made we wince. After all the insults Velvet had thrown, her pride was probably aching just a bit. And my number one rule when dealing with Rainbow was to never do anything to damage that self-image of hers.
“I know Dash, I know,” I assured her gently while I gripped onto her tighter. “I just…don’t like you to do it alone. I’m here, and so are Twilight and Celestia.”
Something I said must have been wrong, because Rainbow’s apprehension only went up after hearing that. “Yeah, you three handle everything,” she mumbled just barely loud enough for me to hear.
Unsure of what to do, I glanced behind me to see Twilight’s talk with Tia might have been winding down. Then I just broke out with my standby tactic for when a girl was mad at me. I leaned forward and gave Rainbow a quick peck on the nose. “Rainbow, please don’t be angry with me. I love you.”
Rainbow flinched as if stung, and looked away from me. “N-No, it’s not…I’m not angry with anypony,” she mumbled.
With Dash clamming up, I sighed in defeat and gave her one last kiss on the cheek before I unlocked our forelegs and swing around to fly beside her. I gave the flying horse a look of concern, and felt the need to remind her of one little thing about changelings. “Rainbow, I know what you’re feeling, I can sense your emotions, remember?” I asked before quickly adding on something so she couldn’t snap at me for invading her privacy. “But if you’re not ready to open up about it, that’s okay. Just…when you are, we’ll be here, alright?”
We flew on in silence for a few more minutes, just watching the two ponies ahead of us. As much as I’d like to say I spent the time checking out Tia’s divine ass, my baser instincts were shoved aside in favor of my concern for Twilight.
When it seemed the two of them finally finished, Rainbow took a deep breath. “Welp, time to face the music.”
I blinked at her words, and then watched as Rainbow’s ears went flat before she picked up speed. Without much choice, I followed her until we caught up to the real alicorns. Rainbow pulled up alongside Twilight, and let out a long sigh, and braced herself. “Okay…lay it on me.”
“You threw a bowl at my dad and knocked him out,” Twilight growled.
“…I know,” Rainbow mumbled before she slumped back down to the ‘held up by strings’ position.
Seeing the sight in front of me, I looked past the pegasus to frown at the purple princess. “And your dad was waving a knife around barely an inch from Rainbow’s bucking eyes!”
Celestia shot me a look. “Omnifarious!”
To which I growled back at her. “I am not taking the sidelines this time! I just had to watch Twilight’s mom basically call Rainbow trash right in front of me, while you made us sit on our plots! We tried playing it your do nothing way Tia. So you know what? Buck that!”
“Fairy just, just stop, okay?” Rainbow said as she raised a hoof to block me.
“No!” I exclaimed. “I may have had some sympathy for your parents when they were afraid of me, Twilight. But going from fearful to insulting is another thing altogether. And if you’re going to actually defend your dad threatening Rainbow with a weapon-”
“I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM!” Twilight shouted at me while she looked across Rainbow’s back before turning her attention towards the direction we were all going. “But you weren’t exactly in the right either Rainbow.”
I snorted and found a nice spot of empty sky to talk to in the opposite direction of Twilight Sparkle. “Well maybe she wouldn’t of had to be if you had stood up for yourself.”
“Are you saying all of this was my fault?” she demanded.
The accusation made me roll my eyes. “You’re the one that promised your parents they’d be allowed to get all judgmental with Rainbow. You’re the one that brought us into their house where nopony would see any scenes that got caused. You’re the one, well okay, we all sat there while they pretty much looked down on Rainbow before she even opened her mouth so-”
“OH STOP IT!” Rainbow shouted right in my face, bringing an end to my list of things Twilight done did wrong. Tears were in her eyes again, and those shut me up more than my little pegasus’s temper. “Stop fighting! Just because I gotta go doesn’t mean you have to buck up your relationship too!”
I opened my mouth as I tried to make sense of what Rainbow had just said. Because it kind of sounded like…
“WHAT?” both of our alicorns shouted at the same time.
Twilight apparently forgot to keep flapping and actually dropped a foot out of the air before Tia’s glowing horn put an end to her descent and hauled her back up long enough for the purple princess to regain her senses. “Rainbow, what the buck are you talking about?!”
The almost-panic I could Smell from Twilight matched her voice, and was starting to show on her face by the time Rainbow formulated an answer to the question. “Oh come on Twilight, that whole thing with your mom-”
“Huh?” the little alicorn managed again before she dropped from the sky.
This time, Celestia didn’t catch her. Instead, the alicorn’s horn glowed for a few moments, and the around us swirled in a brief miniature tornado before I could hear the telltale thud of pony impacting clouds. Once a place to stand was formed, she motioned for us to head land.
When Rainbow touched down in front of her, Twilight sprang into action. The mare grabbed onto the pegasus’s shoulders and looked into her eyes while forcing words out between hyperventilating breaths. “Okay-okay, they’re right Rainbow. I should have done something sooner. I should have jumped in and taken that knife away and told my father to settle down. But I didn’t, and you got backed into a corner, and-and I was wrong to be angry at you. You-you were just reacting to a threat. And-”
“Twilight, stop it okay?” Rainbow told her while raising a hoof to touch the alicorn’s hoof.
To which the alicorn shook her head. “No! I’m sorry Rainbow. I love you. I don’t want you to go. Please, please, please don’t do this.” She probably would have said more, but Twilight quickly broke down into sobs a second later when Rainbow stepped away from her and she slumped forward onto her front hooves.
For her part, Rainbow gulped, and started to tear up as well. “Twilight, it’s not like we’re not going to see each other just about every day.”
I stepped forward to ask just what the hell had made Rainbow decide something like that, but got shoved off course by Celestia when she walked past me to glare down at Rainbow. “Explain.”
“Uh, well…” Rainbow said before looking away from the amazonian pony goddess. “W-When we started going out, we all promised we’d stay friends if this thing didn’t work out, so that’s what I meant when-”
After getting airborne, I looked down at Rainbow from an even higher vantage point than Tia. “Not that!” I shouted while moving around to the pegasus‘s right. “Why the buck are you walking out on us?”
Rainbow cringed, and then looked up at me with a frown. “BECAUSE TWILIGHT’S MOM WAS RIGHT!”
And I quickly joined Twilight on the cloud in paralysis. “Huh?”
Celestia’s scowl deepened. “What are you talking about Rainbow?”
“Oh come on!” Rainbow shouted before she threw her hooves out towards Celestia. “You’re like the most awesome pony ever!” Then she pointed a hoof at me. “Omnifarious saved the entire bucking Crystal Empire all by himself, TWICE!” And then gestured to the purple alicorn laying in a depressed heap behind her. “And do I really need to go over the bazillion things Twilight has done in just the past year?”
She let out a little sniffle, and slumped before furiously shaking her head. “Let’s stop messing around and just admit it. The three of you are so far out of my league it’s a joke I ever even thought I could hope to hang with you. Heh, no wonder she called me a sex toy.”
I grit my teeth and had to repress a growl. After hearing my little Dashie say something like that… An image of Twilight Velvet appeared in my head to accompany a few private thoughts. I’m going to murder that pony.
“THAT’S A LOAD OF HORSE APPLES!” Twilight shrieked as she got to her feet in a rage and stormed up to Rainbow. “How could you…HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT ABOUT YOURSELF AFTER EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE?”
The demand made Rainbow back away from Twilight, and run butt first into Celestia. When the big pony princess cut off her escape, the little one continued to dress down the idiocy of Rainbow’s logic. “You performed a Sonic Rainboom before you were ten years old! You’re the fastest pony in Equestria! You won the Best Fliers Competition and saved the lives of four ponies single hoofly! You’ve gone up against Nightmare Moon, and Discord, and saved me from crippling injuries and death more than half a dozen times! Not to mention all the other adventures we’ve been on that you’ve done more than any pegasus should have been able to!”
Rainbow let out a long sigh. “Yeah, adventures you were there for too. Adventures you led everypony on Twilight. You beat Nightmare Moon while the rest of us just stood around and…buck, that whole thing with Discord…I ended up needing to be saved by everypony. And my Rainboom.” Rainbow waved her hoof at the biggest pony on the cloud. “Celestia’s done that. Plus about a million other things. It took me nearly fifteen years to do it again.”
“Celestia’s like a million years old!” I told the pegasus. “You can’t count all the stuff she’s done like that!”
Right on top of me, Twilight added her two cents. “Life isn’t a competition Rainbow!”
Rainbow glared at her. “Says the one that’s so far in the lead she’s already lapped everypony else!” Dash countered before spreading her forelegs wide. “Come on Twilight, your mom spelled it out for you. You’re a year younger than me with all kinds of fancy education and a crown on your head. I’m a flight school dropout with a job that anypony with a pair of wings can do! The whole idea of you being into me is such a big joke, I’m surprised Pinkie Pie didn’t laugh for days when we told her!”
And all of a sudden, I wanted to smack the smart mouth of a pegasus across her face.
“That doesn’t-” Twilight shut her mouth and drew in a sharp breath through her teeth. “Okay, your education is something that needs to be addressed, I’ll agree with that,” she grumbled. “But that doesn’t affect the kind of pony you are. THE PONY I FELL IN LOVE WITH!”
Rainbow shook her head in fury. “It matters plenty Twilight!” she replied in a near-shout. “What do you think other ponies are going to say when they see three alicorns palling around with somepony like me?”
Despite the feelings I had towards Rainbow for belittling herself and wanting to dump us, after hearing the reasoning behind it… I couldn’t hold any of her actions against her. There was still the fact I needed to get her to see herself in a good light again, sure. But I couldn’t be mad at her for that. My anger evaporated, and I walked up to Dash with a curious frown on my face. “Wait, Dash…you’re worried about what other ponies are going to say about us, because we’re dating you?”
“Who in the hay cares about something like that?” Twilight yelled.
“I CARE!” Rainbow replied. “I care about what other ponies think of you. I care about the fact that I’m dragging you three down!”
Celestia sat down, her big butt causing even the cloud to project a thump. “Aright Rainbow, that’s enough.”
I frowned. “Oh the Divine Empress of Ponykind finally decides to chip in. We’re saved.”
The sarcastic comment got a frown from both of the alicorns. But while Twilight continued to give me the stink-eye, Tia went right back to looking down at and talking to Dash. “While I won’t stop you if you truly want to leave us, no matter the pain it may cause me. I ask that you listen to me, and make your decision only after you think on it. Please don’t jump into a decision we will all regret.”
Whether it was the fact that Celestia was telling her this, the gentle voice she was using, or the hoof she placed on Dash’s shoulder, or a combination of all three, Rainbow calmed down ever so slightly and took a seat. “Okay.”
Celestia let out a little sigh, and smiled down at her. “The first thing you need to do is realize something Rainbow. You’re putting the three of us on pedestals that are so high, you can’t seem to realize just how amazing you are…or that we don’t deserve to be on them ourselves.”
“Wait…what?” Rainbow asked as her face got all cute and scrunched up.
Reduced to the role of a translator, I let out a sigh and addressed the lost pegasus. “She’s saying we’re not as cool as you think we are.”
“But-”
“Since we already know your accomplishments,” Celestia spoke before Rainbow could get going some more. “Let’s go over ours in the proper light. The one you seem to be judging yourself and Twilight in, but not Omnifarious or myself. And even Twilight’s are a bit…slanted.”
Rainbow looked up at the goddess and tilted her head. “What’s that supposed to mean.”
This time, instead of me relaying the information, Celestia just kept going. “How old were you when you performed your Sonic Rainbooms?”
“Uh, seven for the first one, and twenty for the others,” Rainbow replied. “Why?”
Celestia smiled, and nodded her head. “Well then, my performance of the Sonic Rainboom doesn’t count. Or maybe it's better to say that you beat me with your achievements in both quality and quantity. Now, onto our education and occupational rankings.”
“What? Whoa, hold on a second!” Rainbow exclaimed. “What the hay do you mean yours don’t count?”
The question made put on a confused look that I was pretty certain Celestia was faking. “Well if you’re factoring in Twilight’s age for her princess accomplishment, then you need to factor in mine as well for everything we’ve all done. And since I was in my forties when I rain boomed once, it doesn’t count. Nor does anything else I did when I was over twenty for that matter.”
“But-”
Celestia silenced the persnickety pegasus with a hoof to her mouth. “Now, moving on to education. How old were you when you dropped out of school?”
After Tia removed her hoof, Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Eighteen.”
“And became a member of the Ponyville weather team despite your lack of a basic diploma or university training?” the goddess went on.
“Eighteen too.”
Celestia nodded. “And you rose to head weathermare in…two years?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay fine. But that’s-”
“Extremely impressive,” Tia told her. “Especially considering that Twilight didn’t get her first job until after she had finished her studies with me, and I’m the one that to arrange it for her.”
“Hey!” the purple princess cried out in indignation. At least until both me and Tia shot her a glare. Then her eyes widened, and she gave all of us a little ‘oh’ before lightly knocking herself on the top of the head. “But I’ll have to admit, without any social skills, my hireability really was sub-par. Yep! There’s no way I would have been able to get actually employment without Celestia’s intervention.”
I rolled my eyes at the pathetic acting job my little princess performed, and looked over to Rainbow. “I beat up a pony with the help of a mob and stole his identity for my first job,” I explained evenly.
“While my own position as princess was given to me by the ponies of Equestria when I was in my thirties,” Celestia added with a nonchalant shrug. “Given to me simply because I was an alicorn. Up until then, Luna and I didn’t really interact that much with other ponies beyond uh…chasing some tail.”
As I snickered and Twilight blushed, Celestia went on. “So, while you went and made a life for yourself in these twenty past years, rising to the top weather position in Ponyville, creating a name for yourself as an amazing flier with no official training beyond the basics, and helping to save the world.”
Rainbow let out a snort. “That was all Twilight.”
“Are you talking about the time when the ground collapsed out from under me and Applejack had to let go so we both didn’t get pulled down for your to catch me before I fell to my death while we were on the trail of Nightmare Moon?” Twilight immediately asked. “Or that time you created a super condensed cloud that sprang us back up into the air? Then there were those spears you deflected away from me in the Valley of the Sun that probably would have put a few holes in be from behind because I was too angry to think straight, not to mention Ahuizotl’s magical protection you removed before he could dig his way out.”
Then both of the alicorns looked at me along with Rainbow. I frowned back at her. “You are aware of the fact I lost the battle against Chrysalis for the Crystal Empire, right?” I asked. It was a valid question, to be honest, I didn’t really know what Twilight’s friends knew when it came to the truth of those events. “And the second time was just…well, that was just a hay of a lot of dumb luck. The truth this, I’m a total screw-up.”
Celestia snorted. “My love please. I am the most pathetic pony in this relationship.”
When we both looked over to Twilight, she was quick to catch on. The pretty purple pony princess snapped into character, and rolled her eyes in false annoyance. “Pfft! You ruled all of Equestria for over a thousand years. I passed off my duties involving a single town as soon as Omnifarious showed up, and barely managed Equestria with a checklist to help me cope! Not to mention I run a library that barely anypony uses!”
Rainbow flew into the air in irritation. “Okay! Okay I get it! We’re all a bunch of losers!”
A second later, a golden glow surrounded the pegasus and pulled her back down to within grabbing range of Celestia. Which the goddess quickly took advantage of by pulling her into a hug with her forelegs. “My little Rainbow, there is so much more to this than that,” she told the pegasus gently. “But…the perception of yourself can be influenced by so many things, and if you do nothing but find your value in the perception of others, then your self-worth is at the mercy of those that can tear it down on a whim. And there will always be ponies like that. Don’t let them-don’t let the negative define who you are.”
I looked around for a moment, waiting for some music to start or something, and sighed in relief when Celestia didn’t start singing about how haters were gonna hate.
Then I noticed Tia motioning us over as she held Dash tighter. Twilight and me shared a look, and then the purple alicorn moved in to latch onto Rainbow first. “Rainbow, I…” She paused before taking adept breath. “I can accept if you want to leave because you don’t think we’re going to work out, or if you think I’m a…bad fillyfriend. But please don’t go because somepony else doesn’t like us being together.”
“But your mom-”
“Yeah well,” Twilight cut her off before pausing for a moment and taking a breath. “Maybe I’ve tried living up to the expectations of others for so long, I sideline my own desires in order to make other ponies happy. I’m sorry that stopped me from doing what I should have done from the get go.”
Then…I blinked when Celestia frowned at me. “What?”
Tia rolled her eyes as if to say, “Your turn dumbass.”
I glared back at her with a “You’re the one who told me to keep out of it,” look.
And when the glare intensified, I…joined the group. “Yeah. I should have been there for you too Dash,” I mumbled. “To be honest, I think I’ve been running away from that kind of stuff off way too much as of late. Sorry Rainbow.”
Then Celestia’s wings wrapped us all up, and Rainbow let out a little laugh. “It’s okay everypony. I love you too.”
I sighed in contentment as Celestia wrapped her arms and legs around my smaller human form while I just enjoyed the feel of her impossibly soft skin up against mine. “Well, that all worked out pretty well.”
Tia giggled softly, and I felt her finger caress my ear. “I’ll admit, it was quite a bit more enjoyable than the first time. I should let you be the leader in the bed more often.” Then she stopped with her almost-scratching that had me wondering just what she and Sunset did when they were alone, and reached down to grab my butt.
As she fondled my ass, I replayed the events of the day in my mind, and remembered something that had brought a disturbing question to mind. “Hey Tia, about what happened with Twilight’s mom…did you know things were going to turn out that way? I mean, how exactly does that future vision of yours work?”
The hands stopped their playing. “Oh…that,” she mumbled before letting out a sigh. “It’s a bit…complicated.”
“We’ve got a good three hours,” I deadpanned.
Celestia moaned in annoyance, and actually put on a little pouty face for a few seconds before she let out a long breath. “Okay, but no interrupting me until I’m done, and if you don’t follow then I’m sorry. I can’t dumb it down any further.”
“When I look at a pony, I can she the roads their life can take. Some are more clear than others and a few are so impossible that they can barely be seen at all. What it all comes down to is choice. What path that pony chooses to take determines her future. Although…I will be the first to admit that my vision is not perfect. It is harmonic magic, just like every other pony has. Disharmony…muddles it. It’s one of the reasons why I was not able to see what was happening with Luna or Sunset before it was too late.”
I felt Tia’s unease, and stretched forward a bit to kiss her on the cheek. “So when Twilight and her mom started fighting, you lost sight of what could happen?”
Tia looked over at me, and rolled around until we were on our sides. Her hands slid up my back, and she pulled me in close for another kiss. This time on the lips. “No. From what I could tell, if Twilight…handed her decision-making to another. And when I looked at Rainbow, I knew something bad was going to happen. So I intervened, despite the risks.”
“What risks?”
Celestia licked her lips in hesitation, and broke eye contact. “Another problem is that my own path is…hidden from me. Because of that, the more I interact with a pony, the less of their future I can see,” she explained before her fear welled up. “It’s one of the reasons I have kept as far away from Twilight and her friends as I dared for so long. They’re too important for me to lose sight of.”
It was then I understood her fear of telling me about what was going on. Now that she was palling around with the Bearers, sleeping with two of them, and living in Ponyville, her future vision must have been turned to crap. I…couldn’t be angry at her though. “Well you know what they say. When love and duty duke it out, love always wins.”
Relief flooded through the goddess for a moment before I winced at the emotional pain that quickly followed. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what that had reminded her of. “Not all the time. Sometimes duty is the victor…although the cost is always high.”
I raised my hand to run my fingers through her multi-colored hair. “Sorry for the reminder Tia.”
“Do not apologize my love,” she whispered before kissing me again. “Because of your urging, I will be able to watch my sister shine like never before. I will be able to treat Sunset as I should have when she got older and I finally have others to share my life and burdens with.”
Another movement put Celestia on top of us, and my vision became nothing but the face of an impossible beautiful woman and curtains of hair made from an aurora. “By the way, did you learn anything today along with the others?”
I raised an eyebrow. “What? Didn’t you hear what I said to Rainbow?”
“Yeah but that lesson was stupid,” she told me with a smirk. “To be honest, I was hoping you would learn to stop being such a pussy and put that fire back inside of you that I loved so much.”
I…gapped at Princess Potty Mouth for a few seconds before I brought my arms up to wrap around her neck. “Okay, how bout this then. Dear former-Princess Celestia,” I began before rolling us back around until I was on top. Or at least…letting her know that’s the position I wanted so Tia let me do it. “Today I learned to stop blindly following oversized horse women with asses so big they’d break my back if they sat on me, and do things my own way.”
Celestia smiled. “Good to see some of that confidence of yours returning.”
“Although…what’re we going to do about Velvet and Nightlight when they come back?” I asked. As much as I wanted to go with the violent solution, Twilight would probably get pretty mad if her parents ended up in the hospital from a brutal beating. And…I couldn’t help but feeling bad that Rainbow’s relationship had come between her parents and the little alicorn. Even if they were super-controlling assholes, they were still Twilight’s family.
The question darkened Tia mood just a little. “Well, they’re going to either have to accept Twilight is her own woman now, or learn to duck faster. Either way, the hold they had on her has been broken. So let’s just chalk this up as a win. Let them decide if they want to try patching things up, or ruin their relationship with Twilight completely. But it will be their decision my love, not ours,” she told me before moving her legs a bit. “Now enough about those two. We still have a few hours to kill, and I’m wanting some more of my man’s attention.”