//------------------------------// // Chapter 73. In Memoriam // Story: Dust on the Wind // by Sparky Brony //------------------------------// The cold chills continue as my aunt does, “He was driving home. He had a stroke, lost control of the car.” I feel my entire body tremble, “Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” “He’s on life support, but I don’t think he has much time left.” She tells me the hospital and room number and I hang up. I hop off of my chair, and open the door to my office. I look out in the living room, then sigh and head upstairs, Helen is putting clothes away in the dresser, she turns to me with a smile, which slides off her face at the look on mine, “What is it?” I feel dead inside, “It’s my dad.” I sit down and in seconds I have my wife’s arms around me. I shudder in her grip, “He raised me, he taught me to be the man I became. He instilled the work ethic I have.” I moan, I know the tears are going to come, but I’m too much in shock to cry just yet, “I let him down.” I stop, gasping, I’m starting to hyperventilate, breathing faster and faster. “I became a pony mare, I’m not the man he raised.” I shudder again, harder. Helen tightens her arms around me, letting me know that she’s close, “That man he raised, is long dead.” Okay, a few tears are leaking down my face, “I’m not his son anymore,” I moan, then I sob, “I’m his daughter, and I’m not even the same fucking species he is.” I can’t talk anymore right now, Helen guides my head onto her shoulder, letting me cry. “Oh Dust, he understood about your change. Don’t say stupid stuff like that.” Helen says gently. I pull away and shake my head, hard, “I don’t deserve him as a father. I’ve abandoned my humanity, I’ve abandoned what he made me into, in favor of this.” I touch my chest with a hoof. “I’m not the Mike he raised, Helen.” She actually laughs gently, “Oh, Dust. You don’t talk to your parents enough. He most certainly did accept you as the pony you are. He’s told me himself exactly how proud of you he is. He was still a little confused about the change, and why you turned into the pony you did. But he accepts it. He’s proud of you, as the mare you are now.” I shake my head again, “I’ll be back soon, I need to find Star Crossed.” I quickly slip from her grip, and open the French doors to the deck. I ignore Helen calling to me as I take to the air. I know where Star Crossed and Sugarberry’s home is, and quickly I’m slamming to the ground. I knock on the door. After a few moments, Star Crossed answers the door, he smiles, then he notices the look on my face. “Star, I need your help.” “Whatever I can do.” I sit down as I explain what happened. He calls back to Sugarberry and closes the door behind him. I don’t wait for him to gallop, I put my legs around him, and yank him from the ground, his body freezes and I think his eyes are closed for the less than a minute flight. My family is emerging from the house, Sunset is in front. “Dust, Helen told me what’s going on.” I nod, “Call for a chariot, and I’ll get down there.” I spread my wings. “Dust, if you take off, we’ll beat you there.” That gets me to stop, I look at Sunset, “Mindy will teleport some, and I’ll get the rest. We’ll all go, right now.” I nod, and her horn lights. And we are on the roof of the hospital. She looks at me with a smile, “Didn’t want to teleport in blind, Dust.” Another teleport, and I’m leading my family through the double doors into the hospital. A few minutes to get up the elevator and soon we are at the family waiting room. My mom’s sister is there, she comes up, and I rear up to give her a hug. “Oh, Dust. It’s good to see you again.” I shudder, and she adds, “Though the circumstances could be better.” I hug her tighter, “Your mom is in the room with him.” Finally I’m back on all fours, “I brought Star Crossed, he is the best pony healer known. He’ll fix Dad right up.” I look at Star Crossed and he follows me from the room, soon we are walking quietly down the hallway, getting strange looks from the various staff. I have to smile a bit, ponies are common knowledge, but having one show up, much less an entire herd, is probably a bit shocking. I step through the door, my mom is sitting next to the bed, holding my father’s hand. He’s got a respirator breathing for him, his other arm is in a cast, so is one of his legs, I gesture to Star Crossed and move over to my mom. I can see the heart rate monitor. I give my mom a hug. She’s beyond words right now, we both watch as Star Crossed horn alights, and he touches it to my father’s forehead. He stands there a long time, and then, with a sigh, he sits back. I look at the monitors, then at Star, nothing changed. His ears fall, his tail wraps around his legs, “I’m sorry, Dust.” I feel the tears start, “Star, he’s still alive, fix him.” He sighs again, “It’s not that simple Dust. He had an aneurysm that burst. I could heal his broken bones, I could repair the bruising and his damaged liver and spleen from the wreck. I could fix the punctured lung. But he is gone, Dust. I’m so sorry.” I shudder, “Star, he’s still alive. Please?” He looks about ready to cry, “I could heal him, but he wouldn't be your father anymore. The functions of his brain that control heart rate are still working, barely. But all of his higher brain functions are gone. I’m sorry, Dust. Everything that made him special is gone.” I shake my head vigorously, “No, Star, please, he’s got to be still in there, use your magic, fix what’s wrong. You have to,” I end in a whimper. I didn’t know Irony had walked in, she sits next to me, “I’m so sorry, Dust,” To my shock, she nuzzles me. I reflexively put my wing over her, and bring her close. Then I bury my face in her chest. Sobs wrack my body as I moan. And soon I’m wailing, her chest fur is quickly soaked by my tears. She shifts and picks me up, cradling my body, patting my back. Which only causes me to cry harder. I can hear Moon Shadow talking to my mom, she’s crying as hard as I am, though she is able to get some words out, “The doctors said pretty much the same thing. They said the only options are to keep him on life support and pray. But they said it would be an absolute miracle for him to come back. They said sometimes the brain will bounce back. He’s just back from surgery. They repaired the aneurysm, but they said the blood loss and starvation of oxygen to parts of his brain says this is unrecoverable.” Finally Irony lets me down, I give her a grateful smile, and turn to my mother, “I’m so sorry, Mom.” She looks confused, I continue, “I failed, I’m not Mike anymore, I’m Lightning Dust, a pony. I’m not the son you raised.” To my surprise, my mother kneels down and hugs me, very tightly. She murmurs into my ear, “You were changed by circumstances beyond your control. You may be Lightning Dust now, but you are still the one I raised.” I am only able to whisper, “I’m a pony, mom. Not Mike.” She pulls back and looks at me seriously, “You are Lightning Dust, you are successful, you have a family that loves you. And you have wonderful children. That’s all that is important. You need to stop beating yourself up over that.” A soft clearing of the throat garners our attention, a doctor is there, in pink scrubs and long white jacket, he looks at my mother, “Have you decided?” My mother looks at Star Crossed, then at the Doctor, “He’s told me he would never want to stay this way. With machines keeping him alive.” She looks down, “He’s gone. He’s in a better place.” The doctor looks down, “I understand.” *** The next three days are an absolute whirlwind as everything is prepared for the funeral. Though I must say I object to my treatment, every time I try and help with anything, I’m shooed away. So the majority of my time is spent sitting and talking with my mother. Ah-pee and quite a few of our friends from New Beginnings show up. On the fourth day, my parent’s lawyer shows up. He ushers me into the master bedroom, the TV has a computer attached to it, and my father’s smiling face is on it. A video file seems to be queued up. I look at the lawyer in confusion, he smiles, “Your father recorded a message for some members of his family. I’ve already shown your mother her section. I’ve got to track down his brother’s for the final two sections. But since you are his daughter, he wanted to have a final message for you.” My ears fall, I was referred to as a daughter, so this was recorded somewhat recently, I’m guessing. The lawyer steps from the room, and I press the button on the computer and sit quietly, watching. My dad smiles, “Hello there, Lightning Dust.” My jaw drops as he continues, “It’s been a couple of years since your change. I still find it amazing that I raised a son, and a daughter, and my daughter becomes my son, and my son becomes my daughter.” A brief cloud of grief passes over his face, “And then I lose my Maddie to that creature called Discord. But you said she fought bravely, and acted to save lives. I was always proud of my children, and hearing that made my heart swell.” He looks into the camera, “You were Mike, but a long time ago, Discord attacked you, Lightning Dust. And sent your soul to this world, to be born as Mike. And then when his curse faded, you became Lightning Dust again. And since then, you’ve busted your ass to be the best mare you could be. I was proud of you as Mike, and I’m just as proud of the mare watching this video. You have a family, you have children of your own. And no matter if your children are pony, or human, you love them equally.” He smiles, “Just like I love you equally, it doesn’t matter what your form is, what matters is the heart and the soul, inside. And that soul is the same whether you were called Mike, or Lightning Dust. I love you, son, daughter, whatever you choose to call yourself. And no matter what, I’m proud of you.” He smiles once again as the file pauses automatically. I look at his face for a long time, then I move forward to the TV, I bring my wing forward, and kiss the tip of a feather, then place the feather on his cheek, “I love you, Dad.” *** The pony town in Texas has some nice shopping, I’ve made a quick trip there for some appropriate clothing before the service. I step out into the sun after the service. I watch the family get slowly into the limousine, I’m not going to ride today. I look at the dress I purchased. I’m glad it has wing holes, I slowly unfurl my wings as the procession takes off. We have about thirty miles to travel, two limos and about a hundred cars will be following. Two of San Antonio’s finest take off on their motorcycles, followed by the hearse, and the limos. I take flight, staying just above and behind the hearse. As I fly, I watch around. A military member who served with honor has passed. We get to the first overpass. My emotions swell, an ambulance is stopped there, the paramedics are there, watching the procession with their hands over their hearts. This continues, paramedics, fire trucks, police cars, almost every overpass has an emergency vehicle stopped, with the occupants paying their respects, to someone they had never met, and yet they showed this. Tears leak slowly from my eyes as I continue flying. After retiring, my dad stayed in the Civil Service, continuing to do what he did as an MP in the Army. Train dogs until he retired from Homeland Security in the mid 2010’s. He travelled all over the nation, making sure the bomb dogs that sniff your luggage when you fly are well trained, and the handlers do the job correctly. We have representatives of police departments all over the US in this procession. Who knew when my father died, it would be felt nationally. My herd is not the only ponies showing up as well. Ponies from all over have shown up, every one of them saying it is to support me. That has buoyed my spirits to an amazing amount. Finally we turn off the highway and turn onto the massive national cemetery at Fort Sam Houston, in San Antonio. It will be my dad’s final resting place. An honor guard is there. Many of my dad’s service buddies are there. I greeted several of them. We remembered times when I was a kid. Beer busts that I used to make money, I’d stand at the keg, filling everyone’s beers, with a little cup next to me, that they all tucked a buck or two each time in when they got a refill. Some of the men he had trained, who had gone on to serve for years. Many faces that had never seen my pony face. My ears twitch as I see the hearse get close. The other vehicles of the procession stop, and all of my family make it to the grave. Finally, six uniformed Army members reach in and pull out the coffin. They then slow step it towards the grave. I take a moment to look around, Twilight Velvet is there, along with James and Blaze and the other members of her Ranger team. My dad was never Rangers, but seeing them honor him, I have to gulp back some more tears. They are in their dress uniforms, medals proudly standing out on their chests. My mom is sitting next to me, the rest of my family behind me. I remember my time as a Wonderbolt, a member of the Royal Guard. Some of the traditions of Equestria are appropriate now. As the coffin passes, I put a hoof to my heart as those in uniform salute. The pastor starts to talk, and I let his words wash over me as I look sideways at my mother. She looks hollow, forty years with him, through thick and thin. And she is still here, as he is laid to rest. Soon, the pastor winds down, and the soldiers pull the flag from the coffin. With precision they fold the flag, and it is soon presented to my mother. Then the honor guard marches forward, the flag is lowered as the guns fire. Seven rifles, three shots each. I look at the coffin for a long time. I remember times with him as a pony, and more times with him as a boy, and as a young man. Him teaching me to work on cars, him teaching me to fish, to hunt. I remember a time where he told me if I didn’t apply myself in school, that I would end up digging ditches for a living. And many years later, just after I had bought Lightning Electric, I called him up and told him that I didn’t apply myself in school, and I was digging ditches for a living. Why didn’t he tell me that digging ditches made so much money? I find myself smiling as I remember his response, “Well, that wasn’t what I was talking about.” My memories are interrupted by the bugler, he starts to play, and the words for the call come to my mind. Day is done, gone the sun, From the lake, from the hills, from the sky, All is well, safely rest, God is nigh. Voices from all around, including Ballad and Sky Song, join and sing those words. I feel the magic of Equestria, and the magic of this world, The ponies are singing, and many human voices join in as well. Fading light dims the sight And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright From afar, drawing near Falls the night. Thanks and praise for our days Neath the sun, 'neath the stars', 'neath the sky' As we go, this we know God is nigh. Sometimes, when I hear that call, I find myself believing.