"Now that we got that unpleasantness out of the way..."
"Luna, we need to talk. Your behavior as of late has been...unaccetable as of late. First, I want to point out that I know about this fake Twilight scheme that you and Cadence have put togehter. I had Fakelight made from the very beggining and I only allowed things to go this far because I did understand her need for closure on this issue. But that doesn't excuse the fact that you attacked Twilight. I know that our bodies are much more resilient than mortal poines and can take a lot of punishment. But it still bothers me very much that you hit Twilight with a pipe. There were more peaceful ways you could have incapacitated Twilight without resorting to such violent measures."
"Now, you and I were just going to have a simple 'conversation' about you hitting Twilight with a pipe. But that was BEFORE Blueblood came to me earlier with that note you sent him with. By the way that was a dick move setting up BlueBlood like that. You knew he was trying to not be a asshole anymore and you still sent him to me knowing that I might incinerate him on the spot after I read that note."
"Which brings us to why I am here. Luna, I told you about thousand times that when you are holding court, you can't just sign documents ponies put in front of you without reading them first. Believe me Luna, I know court is boring as Tartarus and reading all those documents and bills tediuous. But you can't just get so bored that you start signing papers without reading them. I would think you would've learned that lesson when you let Saint Pearl's Home For Orphaned Fillies be shutdown and be converted to Reaver's Discount Brothel. Or when you legally changed that filly Diamond Tiara's name to 'Diamond Bitch'. "
"That reminds me, we're conscripting those three fillies when they turn 18. I know the Royal Guard has been dropping the ball lately, but there is no way it's just the incompetence of the guards that allow those three to sneak in here undetected. Now back to the matter at hand..."
"And don't even get me started when you declared the consumption and sale of apples illegal that one week. That was not how I wanted to learn that Applejack's ENTIRE family outnumbers the Royal Army 5 to 1. And I also would've lived a long happy life not knowing that appleseeds can replace buckshot in your average shotgun shell and hurt just as much when you get shot in the ass with it."
"But I digress, Luna, that bill you signed into law says that one of us has to be married by midnight tonight or else we lose the throne for a WHOLE year. And since Cadence is running the Crystal Empire and Twilight has her hooves full with Ponyville and her friendship duties, ruling Equestria would fall to the noble class here in Canterlot. And since they are made up of a combination of inbred idiots and power hungry toadies, I give Equestria three days before it collaspes. "
"Now, I have BlueBlood running interference right now in courts to stall the implementation of that bill. Which will give me enough time to talk to Fakelight, bring her down gently, and grab the real Twilight in Ponyville. We will continue this conversation later when all this is sorted out, until then you are to STAY OUT OF TROUBLE. "
"I am sorry if I was a bit too harsh with you, Luna. I love you so much but you can be so infuritating sometimes. I have to get going now so I'll talk to you later, Love you bye-bye."
Night Guard Captian Dark Blaze was not in a good mood. He was supposed to be soundly sleeping in his bed without a care in the world. Instead some cadet, who probably drew the shortest straw, wakes him up, quickly tells him that a "demon in the guise of Celestia" scared off the guards for Luna's room and that the other remaining on-duty guards were too scared to check it out, and then runs out of the room as if Tartarus was on his heels.
Which wasn't that far off considereing how cranky some Thestrals can be when they are woken up in the middle of the day and that goes double for Dark Blaze.
So here he was now, marching down the corrider to Luna's room in full Night Guard armor, praying that someone was stupid enough to have attacked Luna. He would show that idiot or more specifically the chunk of flesh on said idiot's throat that his fangs aren't just for show.
Turning the corner to where Luna's room, he sees none other than Princess Celestia walking towards him away from Luna's room. Startled, he quickly shakes off his rage and stands to attention. "Greetings, your grace." he says to the Princess, "Is every thing all right? I heard there was a disturbance in Princess Luna's room."
Princess Celestia looked sheepishly down at her hooves, "Ah...yes...that would've be me I'm afraid.", she said apologectically, "I needed to have a talk with my sister and I scared off the guards at her door. I would say more but I am afraid that I have to get going now." Dark Blaze quickly stood aside and let Celestia trot pass.
He waited until she turned the corner to go and check on Princess Luna. The moment he entered, his face immeaditly contoted into a grimace as a strange, foul smell assualted his nostrils. "Gack!", he coughed and sputtered. "What..is...that...horrific...wheeze...stench?!"
"That's probably the smell of brimstone."
Steeling his nerves, Dark Blaze cracked his eye open and spyed upon a most strange sight. In the center of Luna's night-themed room was a patch of floor that seemed to have melted and was completly charred black. In front of it stood Luna standing shock still, with her mane deflated.
Dark Blaze immeadtly gathered himself and stood to attention, "Princess Luna, are you alright?", he asked concerned.
Princess Luna, facing the wall, responds calmly, "No my Captain, We...I...am not alright. Me and the word 'alright' are legally sepperated from each other for the forseeable future. "
Confused, Dark Blaze asks, "What happened?"
Princess Luna turns to face him and he peers into her eyes. And he sees the cackling Tartarus within them.
"Well, my sister came in here and gave me a stern talking-to and that is all that I am saying on the subject."