//------------------------------//
// Prologue: "Yay, Procrastination!" 
// Story: Spike and the Methods of Rationality 
// by Architect Ironturtle 
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	Spike and Twilight were scampering around the latter's bedroom, packing for yet another adventure. The Map had spoken, so to speak, and Twilight had been called away to some distant part of Equestria on the northwest coast. However, The Map had only called Twilight, and none of her friends, so she was in full freak-out mode trying to prepare for every possible contingency. " First aid for chipmunks? That'll be useful," Twilight said distractedly while piling a variety of supplies into a pair of already bulging saddlebags. The added weight cause them to sag into the bright blue blanket on her new bed, wrinkling the otherwise flawless fabric. "Oh, and before I forget," Twilight continued, "Spike, while I'm gone could you draw a map of this place? I got lost on my way to the bathroom again."

Spike sighed internally at the prospect of such a daunting task since he was too busy grunting under the weight of a stack of books to do it externally. Ever since Twilight had gotten her castle and discovered the Map, it seemed she'd been growing more and more distant. Sure, she was still Spike's big sister/foster mom, but she was always rushing from one important task to another, even when Equestria wasn't in peril, which was infrequent. Setting the books down on the windowsill next to the intended shelf, he started sorting through them and replied, "Sure thing Twilight. Do you want the basic, intermediate, or extreme layout?"

"I'd prefer extreme," Twilight answered while she stuck her muzzle into the saddlebags, which muffled her voice slightly, "But do whatever you have the time for. You're a busy dragon, after all." Spike sighed again, this time for real but still too quiet for Twilight to hear. Frankly, he should have expected that.

When Twilight's horn lit up again and even more random junk started filing into the room, Spike decided he had to intervene before things got out of hoof. "TWILIGHT!" he shouted, causing her to lose her concentration and send miscellaneous objects flying everywhere, "I think you've got enough stuff," he continued in a more reasonable tone, "Stop worrying about the mission. You're the Princess of Friendship, and you've been dealing with things like this long before you earned that title. You'll be fine." He walked over and hugged her for emphasis. "I know you will."

Twilight teared up at that point and hugged him back, hard. "Thanks, Spike," she said softly, " I needed that."

"That's what I'm here for," Spike said amiably, "Now go and kick some tail, Sis."

"I will," she said, this time with more confidence. Then she glanced at the clock and almost flipped out again, "The train's almost here, I've got to go. Love you!" She kissed Spike on the top of his spines, grabbed the saddlebags, swept up the debris with her magic and raced out the door before Spike's "Love you too," reached her ears. He exhaled sharply, then went back to sorting the books. Making that map can wait until later,  he thought absently, It's not like Twilight will need to use it right away. Besides, I have to get this done before my date with Rarity. Well, technically he was helping her gem hunt again this afternoon, but to the young drake it might as well have been.


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Spike trudged back into the castle around 5 P.M., feeling tired but satisfied. With his help, Rarity had brought home an especially large gem haul, and while he hadn't gotten a kiss on the cheek for his troubles, seeing her so happy and the hug she'd given him as thanks were good enough. He stretched, got himself some dinner in the form of a couple of rubies and an emerald (always a nice combination in his book), then decided to get started on that map for Twilight. First step: find every room in the castle.

This proved to be much more complicated than it first appeared, especially once, on an impulse that had helped him find hidden compartments in the past, he knocked twice on the wall between the primary staircases and revealed an entire additional set of stairs leading straight down. He stepped inside cautiously and made his way down, taking note of the lack of gold detailing and sparse lighting compared to the rest of the building. Upon reaching the bottom, he found the hallway split in two, each leading off into the distance to his left and right with cell doors speckled along the walls. He gulped, realizing this must the castle dungeon, then realized how cool it was to live in a castle with a dungeon, then remembered that he shouldn't care one way or the other since Canterlot had one too.

He was halfway through playing Eenie-Meanie to decide which way to go when he felt another impulse, this one pointing straight ahead at the supposedly blank wall in front of him. Upon closer inspection, however, he found a square crack in the mortar, and lightly pressed it with one claw. With a crack and a groan, one of the blocks above and to the right him fell out of the wall and landed a scant half an inch away from his foot. Looking down at the stone in question, he held up two claws just a touch apart and quipped, "Missed it by that much." Once he'd recovered from nearly getting his foot flattened (which didn't take any time at all), he hopped up on top of the block and peaked into the small pocket behind the stone. A glint caught his eye, and with a bit of stretching, he managed to reach in and drag what turned out to be a book into easy reach.

Curious, Spike picked the book up and inspected it. Unlike every other book he'd seen, this one didn't have a hard cover. Instead, its cover was made of a much thicker than usual piece of paper coated with some shiny material he didn't recognize, and painted an unassuming bluish grey. For something that could have been there for centuries, it was in surprisingly good condition, practically brand new to Spike's expert eye. The title read, in bold black letters, "The Methods of Rationality, by Eye the Ewe." Spike blinked in surprise at the name since he'd never heard it before, even in passing despite being a library curator's assistant. He made a mental note to check the index cards for possible matches once he got back upstairs and cracked the book open. It didn't seem to be magical, either good or bad, so he was hoping reading it wouldn't do anything nasty.

Flipping to the contents, he noted that the book had a preface, and that somepony must have read it before him since that entry in the table of contents was underlined in pen. The line extended past the edge of the words and led to the sloppily scrawled phrase, "Read this first," suggesting that same somepony had been in a hurry when they'd written the note. Spike shrugged, and theorized that since nothing had jumped him when he'd opened it that the book must be safe. With personal safety taken care of, at least in his opinion, he headed back upstairs to his room, since he preferred reading curled up in his bed and it was pretty dark down here anyway.

He read through the rest of the table along the way, growing more incredulous with every step. This book was either the most overblown piece of dung ever written or a treasure trove of incredibly useful information. Why no one understands you? Bias and how to overcome it? The nature of truth itself? That was only in the first few chapters, and the stuff he could make sense of without reading the words themselves (What in Equestria was a planning fallacy, anyway?). He considered just leaving the book on the library table until Twilight got back and letting her take a look at it, but given how she tended to react to new information, if this book was the real deal it just might make her brain explode. Or make her go crazy, which was definitely worse. No, he had to read this thing, or at least enough of it to be able to tell Twilight whether to proceed with caution. Drawing that map could wait until later.