Yet Another Human in Equestria Story
By: Bardic Knowledge
Chapter 34: May 25; 28, The Show Stoppers
One episode left until the end of season one. Which meant one big event more until the release of Discord. I was feeling apprehensive. I didn't know the schedule of Discord's release, save for the catalyst seeming to be the CMC fighting in front of him, which hadn't happened yet. In fact, in attempting to make discreet inquiries about the class trip to Canterlot, I found that their summer vacation was going to start in less than two weeks. Which meant that the trip wasn't likely to happen until the start of the next school year, in August.
The best I could do was try and prepare, but there was very little on Discord in any of the books in the library. I didn't want to take a trip to Canterlot to look for him in their archives, considering I still didn't know the range of his senses while petrified – and I didn't want to tip him off that I was apprehensive. It felt silly to be worried about what was going to happen, since I had been doing my best to preserve the timeline, but he was still the “spirit of chaos and disharmony.” I was hopeful that I was only speaking a half-truth about his unpredictability, but not certain.
But just in case, I wanted to learn about him. There was one book I could think of that might hold some information, but I didn't know where to find it: the hidden book that knew of the Alicorn Amulet and the Mirror Pool. All I knew was that it was hidden behind a false wall locked by a horseshoe-shaped switch hidden behind some books.
My musings were interrupted by Trixie coming home from her magic lessons. She had gotten further with her classes with Twilight, becoming a “Journeymare Transmuter.” She got a bit more enthusiastic about the lessons since the night of the Gala, especially after we learned that the anthropomorphizing spell was being tweaked some.
Apparently, it was being made into an all-purpose polymorph spell, which was making the spell easier to develop. The researchers were confident that it would be completed at the end of next year, maybe by the next Summer Sun Celebration. So it was Trixie's hope that she'd not only be able to turn human for me, but she would be able to turn me into a pony for her.
I wasn't 100% sure how to feel about that.
“Looks like we're starting on the last event,” she said.
I blinked, “Huh?”
“Yep. The Crusaders were in the library when Twilight and I came back from a quick lunch. Cheerliee met us on the way back to talk about the talent show. Apparently, some of the students wanted to learn some tricks from us for it.”
Oh, right. I had told Trixie about a few of the episodes. I had kind of forgotten about that. “Thanks for letting me know. It is comforting to know we're closer to the mutable events.”
“You never did tell me why you couldn't change anything until what you called 'Lesson Zero.'”
“Sore wa himitsu desu.” I chanted, holding a finger up to my mouth, imitating Xelloss from Slayers.
“What?”
“That's a secret. As long as everything goes according to plan, with no huge deviations to what I've seen in the show, I might be able to use an upcoming event to do something really good. But everything needs to be pretty near close to 'canon' to pull it off.”
“So you can't tell us without potentially ruining your plans.” Trixie sighed.
“Yeah. Sorry.” I gave her a hug and we set about making dinner/lunch (lunch based on our sleep schedule, dinner based on everyone else's). After some dinner and some chatting, Trixie was off to work, while I whiled away my time in what had become my (relatively) new past-time: reading fan mail.
I knew, of course, that none of the stories that my readers were enjoying were mine and therefore I couldn't really take credit for it, but it was still heartening to see how ponies, griffins, donkeys, mules, etc. loved the works from Earth.
While I read, I started making plans for using the talent show to help me find the book. Since I didn't want to tip anypony off about it, potentially throwing a spanner in the works of the timeline, I had to be discreet upon actually finding the book. I knew that it was Spike who originally found it, so it had to be in a shelf around his height, which meant waist-height for me.
First thing I needed to do, then, was make sure that I could get into the library while no one was there the night of the talent show. Scratch that, first I needed to find out the actual night of the talent show, then I needed to make sure I could get into the library. I kinda doubted that Twilight would just let me have a key, and I knew Trixie didn't have one, despite her spending more time over there than pretty much anypony that didn't already live there.
Which meant either checking to see if I could paperclip/screwdriver my way in, like I used to do with my sister Colleen's then-boyfriend-last-I-knew-husband's box of Gamecube games he didn't want anyone playing without his permission (which also meant finding out if paperclips were actually a thing in Equestria), or literally gumming up the latch. The paperclip would be preferable, because it had less chance of being discovered-
Wait.
I stopped in the middle of a letter from a hippogriff about how much he liked Harry saving Buckbeak in Prisoner of Azkaban as I realized something.
“Bacardi?” I said. My bat poked his head out of the ceiling. “I want to ask if you can do something for me.”
With a flap of his wings he launched himself across the room and perched on the arm of the sofa, then cocked his head quizzically and said, “Chirp?”
“I was wondering. You're good with soundwaves, right?”
“Chirr,”' he nodded.
“Do you think you could possibly hit a pitch capable of undoing locks?”
Bacardi looked stumped for a moment, then shrugged.
“Well, we probably have a couple of days before I'd need to use the skill, so we could experiment with it. But I have a need to get into the library discreetly.”
“Chirrup chirr chirp chirr,” Bacardi replied. At my blank look, he puffed himself up to an ovoid shape and went “Chirr-chirr. Chirr-chirr.”
“No, sorry. Still don't quite get it.”
And... he just face-winged. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed a letter in my pile of read fan mail and started looking it over. Just as I was about to ask him what he was on about (forgetting already that I couldn't understand him), he pointed at a spot on the paper with a wing.
“Hedwig?” I asked. He repeated the puffing himself up. “Oh! Ohhh, now I get it! Owlowiscious!” Bacardi clapped his wings and cheered, then started to half-purr as I scratched him on the head. “You, my friend, get extra treats tonight. Do you think, maybe, you could ask him about letting us in the night of the school talent show? There's a secret compartment I want to look for with a book in it. I just want to make sure he knows that I don't intend to steal anything. I'll even be returning that book eventually.”
Bacardi nodded as best he could while I scratched his back.
Excellent, I thought. With Owlowiscious' help, I should be in and out without any difficulty.
Ha.
----
I moved quickly but quietly through the night, Bacardi flapping silently at my side. It was quiet in Ponyville, most of the ponies likely at the talent show. It was fortuitous for me, though I stuck to the shadows as best I could.
Approaching the library, Bacardi flew into an open window, one that Twilight apparently left open for Owlowiscious to go hunting at night. I approached the front door and waited for a clicking sound, then levered it open as gently as I could. It wasn't entirely sure if it would creak. It usually didn't, but then again, I'm not usually trying to sneak in.
I then set about my long task of pulling books of the shelves, looking behind them, then putting them back as exactly as I could. I started on the bottom shelves, though I wasn't entirely sure that was the right place, since Spike was the one who found the book initially.
So once I was done with about half of the first of the bottom shelves, I decided to move up a little higher. Trying to remember how tall Spike was compared to me was surprisingly difficult without him present, but it wasn't entirely problematic.
Finally, I was halfway through my third shelf at just under waist height (pretty sure that's how tall he is), when I heard a voice coming from the stairway.
“Joe, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the talent show?”
Shit! I thought. Spike was home!
“And what about you?” I returned, looking over to him. And saw that he was wearing a towel about his waist.
“Just, ah, taking a bath,” he replied shiftily. “Nothing to worry about.”
“I take it seven hours are up, then? I hope there's still some hot water left for the rest of us.”
“How did you-? Oh, right. The show thing. But that still doesn't answer why you're here.”
Curses. “If you must know, there's a book I'm looking for that's not actually on the shelves. It's an important book for the future, so I couldn't just let someone know where it is.” I approached him and stared him in the eyes (much easier to do when he's halfway up the stairs). “Do you swear secrecy about this book?”
After a few tense moments of staring into each others' eyes, he nodded.
“Good,” I said, relaxing. “Because you're the one who found it originally all the way in season three. It contains information on old legends and stuff, and I want to make sure it has what I'm looking for.”
“What are you looking for?” asked Spike quickly getting the last of the water off his scales and tossing the towel on the stairs.
“Sore wa himitsu desu.” I said, just as I had for Trixie three days ago.
“What?”
“That's a secret.” I translated, in exactly the same manner. Becoming serious again, I continued. “What I'm looking for could have serious repercussions on the future if it isn't handled carefully. That's why I need to see what's in the book.”
Spike looked at me apprehensively, but nodded. “So you say I found it, then?”
“Yeah, so, I was trying to look at around your height, but my memory is faulty without aid, so I wasn't sure if I was looking at the right shelves. It's behind a secret panel with a horseshoe-shaped switch.”
Turns out, that Spike is actually about waist height, and his help in looking behind the books was invaluable. We couldn't be sure how long the talent show was going to take, though, so we hurried along.
Finally, after almost a full hour of hunting, Spike found it.
“Let's see,” I flipped it open to the table of contents (which didn't always exist in old books like these, so I was definitely glad to see it there), “A-B-C-yadda-yadda-M. Drat. No Mirror Pool, not the right book.”
I set the book down heavily and sighed. Spike came up beside me and looked himself. “It's not under 'M' for Mirror Pool, but 'L' for Legend of the Mirror Pond. You need to scan more carefully.”
I glanced back at the table of contents to see that he was right. I flicked my eyes back towards A and D (and found both “Alicorn Amulet” and “Discord,” as I'd hoped). “I'll take that under consideration. Thanks, Spike. Now remember, no one must know I have this book. It's important.”
“You can count on me!” Spike saluted. I put the book into my coat pocket and saluted back.
“Now, I should be getting on to the talent show. Thanks again, Spike.”
I arrived at the talent show with only half the CMC's theme to go, and I watched like I had been there the whole time. Which, considering the only pony who would be looking for me was Trixie, wasn't hard.
After the show was over and Trixie and I were back home, I quietly took the book out of my pocket.
Discord, the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. This Draconequus is the only known member of his species to live in Equestria, and is possibly the last of his kind...