Time skip four hours ahead.
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“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I only bothered asking because Lyra's suggestion sounded awful. Just my opinion on the matter. Then again, I’ve had worse ideas.
“Of course!” Her voice was one of enthusiasm. “I get to be human for a day, and Twilight gets to observe how two humans behave around each other.”
“She's all ready seen how Jay and I act around each other.” I knew my point wasn't valid, but neither was Lyra's. You can't base human behavior on two individuals, you'd need huge amounts of research to even scratch the surface.
“But Jay isn't female.” Lyra thought she had me in a corner, she was dead wrong.
“And you aren't human.”
“Not yet.” Lyra smirked in triumph. I don't see a way out of this mess, dammit.
“You still don't have my support in this endeavor.” I sighed in defeat, the human-loving mare had won our little debate. The sea-foam pony would spend the next twenty-four hours as a human, and I would act as though she truly was. The spell was complicated, so Lyra, Trixie, and Twilight had partially prepared before they had informed me of their plans. At least Trixie and Twilight had buried the hatchet. The showmare and Element took their respective places on the runed circle's rim.
“Trixie is looking forward to this, she's certain it will be most interesting.” A blue glow enveloped her horn. This spell would take a considerable amount of energy, even though it would only take a few moments to cast, Trixie was all ready sweating from the effort, despite having only worked for a few seconds.
“I suppose an experiment is an experiment.” Twilight's horn joined Trixie's in the light show. The Element of Magic had higher reservoirs, but she, too, began to tire from the strain. I wonder how much longer they could hold the enchantment.
“See, Taylor, things are going to be just fine.” Lyra sounded rather pleased with herself. I suppose, given similar circumstances, I'd be the same way, for instance: my FTL gun's success, if you could call it that. “Nothing can possibly go wrong here.” Lyra, you just fucked us over.
I had not time to respond, the magic cut me off. A prismatic glow expanded from the center of the circle. I can attest, it was breathtakingly beautiful. Red, blue, green, white, even light that seemed to mimic the crushing darkness of the void, all shined from Lyra's magic-wrapped body. I haven't seen anything as stunning as this before now, and I sincerely doubt I will ever see anything to rival it. Before my eyes, the sea-foam mare began to change shape.
You'd think that for someone so familiar with the possible inner workings and theoretical applications for shape-shifting, I'd be somewhat prepared for this display.
You'd be wrong.
In a moment, just as suddenly as it had begun, the shining magic faded. Inside the circle, instead of the familiar mare, as I had half expected, lay a woman with green hair. In a way, I had hoped the spell would fail, nothing personal against any of the Unicorns involved, but the scientist in me wanted so justice done to the limits of biology.
“What happened?” Lyra groaned and rubbed her head. If she wasn't so out of it, I imagine she would have been amazed by her new-found hands. “Why am I so cold?” She was shaking slightly, but it wasn't that chilly, I'd wager it was somewhere in the seventies, Fahrenheit of course.
“I think your skin might be a bit sensitive.” Twilight panted out her answer. Despite magic being her very core, she had experienced some difficulty with the transformative spell. Lyra's face at receiving the news was equivalent to mine if I should ever, somehow, build a working time machine.
“It worked!?” Lyra jumped up, and immediately fell face-first onto the wooden floor.
“Trixie must say, even she couldn't have hoped for a better outcome.” Oddly enough, the showmare didn't sound self-absorbed.
“Even humans crawl on all four of our limbs before we master walking, Lyra.” I couldn't help but find some dark enjoyment in her discomfort. I'm not that bad of a guy, just a little warped. To my surprise, she took my joke as advice, and rose on her hands and knees. She was facing away from me, which gave me quite the view, but, being a gentleman, I averted my gaze. “Maybe I should get my hoodie for you.”
“Why?” Lyra turned her entire body to face me. As she completed her one-eighty, Twilight and Trixie immediately understood my reaction, the mares' faces turned bright scarlet. Only now did I have ample opportunity to see Lyra's human body. I will now pause rational thought for a moment.
DAMN! LOOK AT THOSE KNOCKERS!
And I'm back, what did I miss?
“Because you are currently indecent.” As much as I hate seeing large breasts covered, it was necessary to keep me from being very uncomfortable. I think Twilight had carried my jacket upstairs to be washed, it could certainly use it.
“I-I have to agree with Taylor on this.” Twilight quickly hurried out of the room, but she did pause briefly on the stairs. Perhaps she was worried about this situation devolving into the uncouth banter she had witnessed between my friend and I? Or was she worried about something a bit more... mature?
What's going on?
Go away, Celestia, you're not welcome here.
I can be wherever I want, I'm the Princess.
I won't hesitate, Tia, enjoy my gore collection. She cut the line, after I heard some gagging noises. I was rather pleased with myself.
“Hey, Taylor.” Lyra's voice roused me from my thought-based conversation.
“Yes, Lyra?” What could she possibly want now? I doubt it could be anything too major, she has bigger issues right now.
“What are these?” Despite myself, I had assumed she meant her fingers, toes, or feet. However, I don't regret looking back at her. In one hand, she hefted one of her breasts, unable to discern its use. Pushing the dirty thoughts from my mind, though I'm not forgetting any of this, I took a deep breath.
“Tits, boobs, bazookas, cha-chas, breasts, hubcaps, sweater meat, jugs, cans, funbags, hooters, Godzillas, clams, chesticles, gazzongas, the twin peaks, and mammaries.” Lyra and Trixie looked stunned, not because of all the slang terms for them, or their purpose. Maybe that was Trixie's reason, but I know it wasn't the sea-foam mare's. She was shocked that she'd played with them, but I have no idea why.
“Are they always so... big?” Trixie seemed a bit jealous that Lyra's breasts were hold my attention, that's just cute.
“Nope, I've seen bigger in some of my dreams.” Just what sort of things had Lyra seen? The only bigger examples I have to work with are from the Internet, curse my poorly endowed hometown, and most of those were fake. All compliments aside, this meant that, despite her intense research, Lyra was largely ignorant of human biology. Why does this not surprise me?
I will now take a brief moment to explain my own personal philosophy. Life is unpredictable and completely undecided, but what you least expected is almost bound to happen. At this very moment, I did not expect Jay to have had his memories restored. I had not anticipated that he would retaliate so quickly. I had not expected him to crawl in through a window and sneak tackle me.
Providing evidence towards my philosophy, each of those events happened that day.
As Jay and I rolled on the ground, Lyra and Trixie attempted to distance themselves from us. I suppose two quarreling humans would be quite the deterrent for most ponies. After grappling for a few moments, my flutist friend began his attempts at escape. There was no freedom to be found, compared to Jay, I'm invincible.
However, all things must come to an end, and this is no exception. Eventually, the slippery bastard weaseled himself from my grasp, effectively ending my plans to beat the living shit out of him. Hey, he remembered everything, that means I'm going to get even.
By the time I’d stood, Jay all ready had a fist reared back. He would have swung, too, if he hadn't been distracted. I saw him glance around the room, to me, Trixie, humanized Lyra, towards the stairs, then it repeated. Now, I have seen plenty of shit, some of it by choice, but what Jay did next completely stunned me. He put his hands in front of himself, and spoke in a civil tone.
“I'm going to back away slowly, and come back when there's less weird shit.” He made good on his word, and left, through the same window he'd used to enter the library. Well, that settled one issue for the time being, but left me with several more.
How the hell am I going to handle this shit.
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