The Weed

by kudzuhaiku


Flowers are just very pretty weeds

After a breakfast of plain oatmeal, Tarnished Teapot found himself outside in the hours before dawn, not quite knowing what to do with himself, not knowing what was expected, and just a little fearful about letting everypony down.

In the house, at the table, Marble had said something, a brief explanation that the sooner they got started, the sooner the day's chores were done. Most of the time, everything was done by noon or so, and the rest of the day was free to do whatever.

It was just before four o’clock in the morning, and Tarnish found himself with Igneous Rock, who wanted to fix the broken wagon that Tarnish had seen when he and Maud had pulled up. Fearful, Tarnish hoped that his magic would behave.


Six o’clock in the morning and already his body was begging him to return to bed. Tarnish hobbled around on three legs, moving rocks that had been marked with chalk over to the processing pile. He carried them a few at a time in his telekinesis, which so far hadn’t misbehaved once and seemed rather strong. Tarnish figured it had to do with his practice as of late. Perhaps he was getting some control.

The dirt beneath his hooves was somehow both soft and gritty, almost like a fine ash mixed with grating, grinding sand. With each step he sank into the odd soil an inch or two. It was difficult to walk in the strange earth, it took a great deal more effort than normal ground.

As Tarnish took stones away, Maud added stones to the piles, laying them out along the conflux of the ley lines. In the middle, there was a beehive like structure of piled rocks, and rocks went out in four directions from the central hub, following the four directions of the ley line.

From what little Tarnish had learned about how it used to be, the Pie family had once just piled up rocks in random places hoping for some to change, and some did. The results were random and the payoff was unpredictable. Now, Maud was working science into the Pie Family Farm, and the payoff was now considerable. Many of the rocks that Tarnish carried now had shiny flecks in them, or protruding gems.


“He made it longer than Trixie did on her first day, and on only three legs, too,” Limestone Pie said to her sister Marble. She eyed the colt that had gone to take a seat in the rocking chair and then had fallen asleep. “He made it to ten. That’s not bad at all.”

Marble, who stopped rolling a small boulder, lifted her head high, stretched her neck, and then took a long look at Tarnished Teapot’s sleeping form. The corners of her mouth curled back in a smile of pure, unadulterated evil.

Seeing her sister’s terrible expression, Limestone knew her sister was up to no good. She watched as Marble took off at a quiet trot towards the house. “Marble, you shouldn’t.” She took off after her sister, abandoning her work, leaving her rock halfway to its destination at the processing pile.

Marble Pie gestured at the processing pile as she trotted, a silent reminder that a lot of work had been done today. Tarnished Teapot had made each trip with several rocks at a time, moving a phenomenal amount of rock before collapsing from exhaustion.

“Well, yes Marble, I’m aware that we’ve already done a day’s work, but we can still get more done. There are still rocks to move,” Limestone replied to her silent sister.


“Tarnished Teapot, wake up,” Limestone said. “It’s time for lunch.” Reaching out, she prodded Tarnish and gave him a hard shake. The colt snorted and she saw his eyelids flutter. Limestone could not help herself and began to giggle.

“I fell asleep… oh no, I didn’t mean to do—”

“Relax, you moved a lot of rock today.” Limestone, still giggling, gave Tarnish a smile. “Trixie was only able to carry one rock at a time usually, so you actually got a lot done.”

Yawning, Tarnish stretched and then cleared his dry throat. “My telekinesis felt really strong… I think it’s because I’ve been getting a little practice. And there were no accidents or odd events today… which is weird. I dunno.” Tarnish shrugged.

“Come on inside, have some lunch,” Limestone said. “Don’t worry, nopony is mad because you needed a nap.”

“Oh good…” Tarnish slipped out of the rocking chair to follow Limestone indoors.


Yawning, Tarnished Teapot heard Limestone chortling. Maud was staring at him, but her expression was unreadable. Cloudy Quartz blinked a few times. Tarnish began to suspect that something was wrong. Even Marble was giggling in a soft, quiet way.

Perhaps his magic had done something after all.

Chuckling, Cloudy Quartz turned away and bit down upon the edge of her hoof. Limestone turned to look at her twin sister, Marble, and Maud continued to stare at Tarnished Teapot with an unreadable expression.

“What?” Tarnish asked.

“Tarnish, you are a very pretty colt,” Maud said in a flat monotone. “You might want to go and look at yourself in the mirror. I think that Marble had a go at you. Marble is like that. I hope you’re not angry.”

Excusing himself, Tarnish slipped away from the table, went down the hall, and into the bathroom. His mane, which was cream coloured, had been combed into sections and tied off with different coloured bits of old ribbons. Blue ones, pink ones, red ones, orange ones, yellow ones. He saw something on his eyelid, and when he winked his eye, he saw that an eye had been drawn on his eyelid. He winked his other eye and saw that another open eye had been drawn on with magic marker.

After a moment of dead silence, Tarnished Teapot began to laugh. This was funny and it was just what he deserved for falling asleep when he should have been working. He emerged from the bathroom and went to go sit back down at the table.

There was lot of snickering when Tarnish sat down.

Looking at Marble, he said, “Thank you. Now I can be one of the fillies.” Tarnish saw that Marble’s cheeks darkened for a moment and then she covered her hoof as quiet laughter escaped from her.

“Igneous will not be back until supper,” Cloudy said to those sitting at the table with her. “After lunch, I’m making peanut brittle nuggets and I’ll need help. I have a big order to fill for some high society club in Fillydelphia.” The mare gestured at a big tureen of corn and potato chowder. “Dig in, girls…”