Blue and I stand infront of the camera as it turns on for the show to start. Dis gon' b gud. Let me get my chair. Wait, I need to do this first. Chair later.
"Welcome, everypony. I'm Tim." I say with enthusiasm.
"And I'm Blue Breeze." Blue says with less then enthusiasm. He'll come around.
"And welcome to Blue and Tim's Kitchen."
"Really?"
"What is it now?"
"Blue and Tim's Kitchen? All you did was change movie theater to kitchen. Couldn't you be a little more creative?"
"Give me a break, okay? I was stressed for time and couldn't think of anything else."
"Whatever."
I look at the camera. "Professionalism at its finest here, folks." luckily none of this is live as we don't have a timeslot yet, so anything can be taken out in editing. Only question is, do I want to? ...Nah. "Anyway, this is our brand new cooking show that I came up with."
"And I was forced into."
"Hehe, ignore him. He's just cranky because he hasn't been changed yet."
"I'm going to murder you."
"As I was saying, this is our brand new cooking show. We'll be doing episodes every so often for you all. We'll even be taking requests and having guest stars later on."
"Hooray." Blue fake cheers.
"For our first episode, we shall be making chimicherrychongas. Blue's favorite."
"Oh, you bet it is." Blue says, now smiling and slightly drooling.
"Glad to see your sudden excitement."
"Less talk, more chimicherrychongas!"
"Alright, alright. First we start by..." my eyes widen as I realize something.
"What is it, Tim?"
I facepalm. "We forgot to get the ingredients."
"How could you forget those?!"
"It's all a work in progress, man. Just go get the ingredients!"
"Fine, you stay here and entertain the camera."
"You got it." as Blue leaves to get the ingredients for the dish, I awkwardly smile and rub the back of my head to the camera. "So, did you hear the one about the priest and the rabbi walking into a bar together?" I go to tell the joke. "...I'm so sorry about that joke."
As I still wait for Blue to get back, I try all sorts of things. I tell more stupid jokes, I hurt myself, I even do that trick where you put a finger over your thumb and make it look like you're pulling off your finger. Yeah, I was that desperate.
I grunt as I start getting impatient. "Good help is so hard to find these days."
"I'm back." I hear Blue say as I see him balancing a bunch of cooking ingredients in his forelegs. "Little help? I can't see."
"Woah, don't drop it!" I say as I quickly rush in and grab some before they fall. "Phew. That was a close one."
"Yeah, nice catch."
"Thanks."
"So, what did you do while I was gone?"
"Just did some stuff to entertain the camera like you said. Nothing much."
"Please tell me you didn't tell the one about the priest and the rabbi."
I look up to the ceiling. "No, of course not."
He facehoofs. "Ugh, what am I gonna do with you?"
"Hold me and tell me you love me?"
"Ew, you wish, freak."
"Anyway, it's about time we got started."
"Yep, I'm on it."
"Ah ah ah. Not so fast."
"What?"
"Got to wash our hands and hooves first."
"Oh, right."
Always important to wash up before cooking, kids. Yep, this show isn't only entertaining, it's also educational. It's edutainment! Ugh, I hate when shows say that.
After cleaning up, I take the cherries and dump them into a big pot. "First thing's first, we need to mash the cherries up for the filling."
"I'm on it. Oh, I do so love this part." Blue walks up to the pot and starts using his hooves to mash up the cherries better than my normal hands could. As he does this, cherry paste starts flying around.
"Hey, watch it!" I say as some hits me on the face.
"Oops. Sorry." he comes over to me and licks it off like Scooby Doo. "Hmm, tasty."
"Yuck! I feel like I need a shower now!"
"That can wait. This first. Next is to add the sugar in." Blue grabs a half cup of sugar and poors it in. "And now the cornstarch." he does the same with a teaspoon of cornstarch. Isn't this just rivetting? I have goosebumps all over right now.
I grab the pot and set it on top of a stove. "Next is setting this on a stove at medium heat." I turn the knob on the stove and let a medium-sized flame sit under the pot. "Now to let that simmer for a few minutes. In the mean time let's get the oil going."
"I'm on it." Blue says, pulling out a mini-deepfryer and a container of peanut oil.
"Good. You know I have a deathly nut allergy."
"At least that means no one will call you gay."
"Oh, haha. Very funny."
"I thought it was." Blue plugs in the deepfryer and fills it with oil. He turns the knob again. "Now, let's check on that mash."
He goes over and looks at it. "Seems done to me." he pulls out a bunch of tortillas in plastic wrap. "Now to wrap 'em up."
I grab the tortillas from him. "Blue, I thought I said no store brand."
"Sorry, I was stressed for time and couldn't think of anything else." he says in a mocking voice.
"I'll get you for this later."
"I'm sure of it."
"Just start filling them up."
"Can do, capitan!" he says with a salute.
He takes the tortillas and mash and fills up the tortillas. He then rolls them all individually, making about a dozen. "Now to put this in the fryer for a minute." he takes them and carefully places them in. "Remember to be careful with this part, folks. Hot oil is very dangerous."
"I'm sure you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that."
"Shut up."
After a few minutes, I get the chimicherrychongas out of the oil, but I unknowingly drag the nearby curtain into the still hot oil.
"Looks good." I say.
"I'll say." Blue says, nearly drooling over them. He sniffs at the air, smelling smoke.
"And that does it for our first episode of Blue and Tim's Kitchen."
"Tim."
"Not now, Blue. We hope you enjoyed it."
"Tim!"
"Shh, Blue. Now, if any of you want, you can submit your very own recipes for us to do. So, until next time-"
"TIM!"
"What is it, Blue?!"
"The curtains are on fire." he says, pointing at them.
"Oh." I say. "Fire! Run! Head for the hills! Create a working telephone system and call nine one one!" I shout, running around in a frenzy.
Blue facehoofs again.
Blue and I sit together as we watch over the recorded footage.
"That has got to be the worst thing you have ever involved me in." Blue says.
"What? You're crazy."
"I'm crazy?! You're the one who nearly burned down Sugarcube Corner!"
"That was an accident. Besides, I think the audience will love it. You just wait and see. We'll have people loving us in no time."
Author's Note: Well, wasn't that an awesome first episode? Anyway, if you want to submit a recipe, you need to PM me the food you want with either a fully instructed recipe, or a link to one. I shall accept no less!