//------------------------------// // A Lord for a Lord // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Advisory: The "Formatting" should be set to "Dark" for best viewing. Thank you. A/N: Often imitated, accused of being duplicated (multiple times), is there any wonder why Dragon Ball Z gets so much attention? Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 4 Episode 2 Some people just want to watch the world burn. Others want to blow the whole thing up into space dust. Can the one that utilizes powers similar to overly charged energy blasts overcome the original? We have Lord Tirek, the centaur that escaped from Tartarus. ... and Lord Frieza, confusing gender observers everywhere with his voice. He's W and I'm B. And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Lord Tirek -Species: Centaur -Ability: Devours magic of the unicorns, the flying ability of pegasi, and the strength/internal magic of earth ponies -When strong enough, can even absorb draconequus and alicorn magic -Tall enough to eclipse an entire city -Can clear out forests, destroy mountains, and rupture the very earth itself -Cannot utilize any of the talents that he steals -Seems to grow stupider the more power he obtains; relying more on brute force than strategy -Is a brittle, old man without magic "Is he friend or is he foe?" Over a thousand years in Equestria's past... Gosh dang it! Not again! The brothers Scorpan and Tirek trekked in from a faraway land, intent on conquering the lands. However, Scorpan soon came to enjoy the company of the local ponies and even befriended Starswirl the Bearded. Scorpan tried to press the "Abort" button, but Tirek was having none of that. So, Scorpan convinced the two pony princesses to drain Tirek's power and seal him away in Tartarus... which is guarded by a Cerberus. Is that supposed to be Hell? After an incident in which Cerberus left, Tirek escaped the pits of Tartarus and wandered around in hiding. Slowly, he regained his lost strength, feeding upon the magic of ponies in alleyways and removing the talents that went with them. Over a year passed before his return was realized in the Princesses' vision. D**n! That guy is in some serious need of sunscreen. Once he gained enough magic, Tirek then moved on to steal flight from pegasi and the strength and agricultural talents of earth ponies. Even after being tricked by the princesses, he still managed to steal magic from a draconequus, and eventually the fourth alicorn princess herself. You might think that having all of those talents in one body is pretty darn cool. But don't get too excited. He can't actually use all of the individual special talents of all the marks he's erased. In fact, most of that magic just seems to fuel his already overpowered ability to drain magic, shoot power beams, and disfigure solid rock and mountains. He also has a slight bit of telekinesis in his hand, though it requires rotational motion before actually throwing anything. While he certainly is a powerful being, he tends to trade in his intellect for that power. He couldn't even recognize when the Tree of Harmony itself granted power strong enough for his enemies to send him all the way back to Tartarus, and redistribute his power back to their proper owners. If Deus Ex Machinas are all this guy has to worry about, I can't wait to see his opponent. "You're going to give me what I want!" ---Death Battle--- Lord Frieza -Species: Frost Demon(?), the "Frieza Race" -Diet: Shellfish, wine, meat -Three transformations that each increase his overall power output -Blew up Planet Vegeta in his first form -Has slaughtered billions and claimed the survivors as his minions -Can use a small portion of his power to blow up a person from the inside out -Cannot sense the energy in other beings -Constantly overestimates his own abilities and underestimates his enemies "There's no need to chase after the bee anymore. I've decided to go straight for the hive." Son Goku is a breaker of limits and doer of the impossible. He can bench-press a continent, transmit himself instantly, and survive a world-destroying bomb. To combat with such a rare breed of martial artist requires some pretty heavy-hitting enemies. One of the biggest villains to start out with was Fry-za! A clip plays, "Actually, it's pronounced Lord Free-za." Really? Then why is there an "i" in it? The clip seems to respond, "There isn't." Huh. Think we can fix that? Too late. As the younger son of King Cold, Frieza had a lot to prove to himself and his father. One of these things was the ability to destroy and/or conquer any planet he came across. The list that he conquered happened to include the Planet Vegeta, birthplace to all of our Saiyan bad*ss*s. While many of the Saiyans were fine with helping their lord kill inhabitants of other planets, a legend foretold of a golden beast known as the Super Saiyan that would overcome Frieza's tyranny and destroy him. To avoid this, he set his sights on destroying Vegeta directly, thereby ridding himself of any potential traitors. Except... Frieza missed a lone pod with the sole surviving Saiyan... and the ship with that Saiyan's older brother... and the ships of Prince Vegeta and Nappa. Huh... Frieza isn't exactly the all-seeing god that he proclaims to be. He's also not proficient in sensing energy of others. Still, that doesn't prevent him from utilizing ki in a variety of energy based attacks. Unlike several of his enemies, Frieza only needs to point a single finger to shoot a destructive ki beam. He can also withstand more physical force than most of his enemies are capable of dishing out. He can conjure a burst of energy capable of sinking into a planet's surface and basically destroying the entire thing. That's a *ess*load of megatons of force right there. When he desires to show off more of his power, Frieza can build up as many as three different transformations that each increase his overall power. According to him, his second form alone has a power level over one million! Sadly, we can't really use that to determine how strong he is. Remember, power levels were introduced as a means for the Dragon Ball Z enemies to underestimate their opponents and constantly be surprised when they're overpowered. Yeah, well... anyone that can copy the Destructo Disk, blow up a person from within using telekinesis, and force Goku to become a Super Saiyan just to match him at his maximum has got some serious strength, speed, and endurance to contend with. No argument there. "I am the Emperor of the Universe! The likes of you are only fit to grovel at my feet! ... or better yet to die... in disgrace... at the hands of your master!" ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. It's time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- Right away, there's an explosion on the screen in the middle of a city. Another explosion soon follows it on the left side of the screen. The middle area explodes too. Oddly enough, the three-dimensional skyscrapers aren't all crashing at rates consistent with the blasts. In fact, some of them seem to be unmovable. That doesn't stop a purple and gray figure from making loud noises as he walks. A tail waves fluidly behind him. He points his finger at a random pony. Said pony lets out a deafening scream, only to be silenced as it falls over. The walking figure points his opposite hand. A different pony on screen experiences spontaneous combustion. The remaining ponies gallop around in circles, screaming all the way. The figure's purple lips smirk. Meanwhile in a neighboring city, a large red guy has his mouth wide open. All of the ponies nearby are trapped in place. This is because large orange streams have them surrounded. All of their magic, flight, and internal talents are being sucked right out of them. The red guy grows steadily larger. His shadow stretches almost across the entire city. The first figure hums in confusion as he turns around. His face quickly changes from menacing glee to surprised frustration. He flies up and hangs in the air several feet away from the second figure's face. The streams slow down to nothing as the red guy looks at the small creature with a lizard's tail in front of him. "Do you mind?" asks the centaur in a rumbling tone. "I'm a little busy taking over Equestria here." "Oh ha ha ha, that is cute," admits the frost demon. "But if anyone is going to be conquering this planet, it sure as hell isn't going to be a red, half-monkey such as you." "And what are you going to do?" The centaur raises his eyebrow. "You're talking to Lord Tirek. My power is unstoppable." "Well, look at this." The frost demon holds up a hand in a manner that would be censored on television. "This is exactly how many *effs* I have to give. The only "lord" around here is me, Lord Frieza!" "FIGHT!" Tirek opens his mouth and breathes in deeply. He stops and opens his eyes. He tries taking in a more audible breath. Still, nothing happens of remote consequence. He growls at his failing attempts. "How are you flying if not for magic?" he demands. "Oh, you are very amusing." Frieza holds up a finger and wags it in a 'tsk-tsk' motion. "As if I actually had to fly. The rest of the universe simply moves to where I want it to be." Unamused, Tirek holds out his fist in front of himself. A slightly different shade of orange surrounds the frost demon. "Huh?" grunts Frieza. "What the-AAAAAAAH!" Tirek spins around once before sending Frieza flying. The Dragon Ball villain crashes through a nearby skyscraper. The entire building crumbles down, sending shattered glass everywhere. Amidst the destruction, Frieza quickly flies back around and growls in irritation. Frieza's retort comes in the form of a speedy, camera-shaking punch. This punch forces Tirek's head to sharply turn. The centaur slides along the ground and ends up falling down. His rear lands on top of the ponies he recently sucked dry. Frieza quickly blurs through the air and kicks Tirek in the back of the head. This time, Tirek lands on his chest before sliding headfirst into a building. The frost demon follows up by pointing his finger forth. Several ki beams fly out in slightly curved paths. These beams bash against Tirek's backside. Roaring, he turns around and stands up. An orb of crimson and orange builds between his horns. Immediately after, it gets released as a huge magic beam. In response, Frieza opens up his palm and sends a huge power beam of his own. The attacks collide, build up against each other, and eventually explode outward. This forces both of the combatants to halt their respective attacks and brace themselves against the force of the explosion. The light fades as the camera gets a good look at the city's wreckage and the two beings responsible for it. "You know, I'm not as amused as when this whole charade started." Frieza crosses his arms. "It appears we are at an impasse." Tirek mirrors the motion with his own arms. "Haven't heard that one in a while," admits Frieza. "Five." Tirek stares at him blankly. "What?" Frieza starts a slow ascent. "Oh, you're not going to be around long enough to comprehend it anyway." He holds his index finger straight up. "No matter how big the monkey is, it cannot breathe in space. Considering you're only half-monkey, that cuts your chances of surviving this planet's destruction in half." "You're going to what?" Tirek opens his arms back up and clenches his fists. The frost demon simply laughs as a small, dark orb forms above his finger. This orb steadily grows larger and larger. Eventually, it's big enough to block out the view of the sun. With a swish of his arm, the orb starts heading toward Equestria. Growling before roaring, Tirek concentrates as much magic as he can between his horns. He also holds up his giant red fists. He leaps into the air about as high as he is tall. The magic force in his hands weeds its way through the planet burst ball. This is quickly followed by the concentration and blast of the magic between his horns. The center of Frieza's burst breaks down the middle, blowing it up prematurely. "What?!" Frieza exclaims just in time for the rest of Tirek's beam to collide with him. "YAAAAAAAAH!" Caught in the main portion of the blast, Frieza is sent spiraling head over foot claw. After a few seconds, the magic beam brings him straight into the sun's surface. The combination of magic and extreme heat causes Frieza to scream in agony before his bodily essentially disintegrates. Tirek sighs. "Now... where was I? Oh yeah." He turns around and fires some beams at the few surviving ponies. Their screams fill the air as he continues his rampage. "K.O.!" ---Death Battle--- Oh, come on! Can't any of the Dragon Ball Z cast win a stinking fight? This is getting sad. Well, yes. Overall, Frieza has much more destructive potential and can survive the vacuum of space. Not to mention, he had the speed advantage in his final form. However, he also treats battling as a last resort, usually telling his minions what to kill. Besides, his attacks have fallen apart before and even missed their intended target when he's frustrated and unfocused. Plus, the Dragon Ball Z characters don't have a good track record when it comes to resisting magic attacks. Frieza's power is ki-based, not magic. So it's no surprise that Tirek wouldn't be able to absorb it. What he can do, however, is beat the crap out of his enemies with his existing magic, especially when he's all charged up. Not only can he tank a mountain's worth of debris falling on top of him, he can dish out the pain with his overwhelming magic and strength. As magic can sometimes override the will of ki warriors, their attacks are just as susceptible. While Tirek's attacks tend to be widespread, they seem a bit more focused and centered than Frieza who focuses solely on the size and volume of his planet burst attacks. I hate to admit it, but... Frieza really dropped the ball on that one. The winner is Lord Tirek. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Death Battle... "Ha-cha!" A pink dress explodes down at the bottom. ---