I was legitimately in shock from what had transpired in the past few minutes. To call my startled nerves I simply sat in my office, the door still left wide open from where Alistair had stormed out. There was a subconscious hope in my mind that if I stayed here long enough, if I spaced myself from Alistair from just the right time, all would be resolved between us from this night.
I understood him well enough to predict the majority of his actions. He'd cool down eventually, open his mind up to logical persuasion and once that happened surely I could tempt him back into a state of understanding. It wasn't backhanded or anything, I just was very good at calming certain people down. And to do that you had to comprehend just how those people would act in such situations. Kind of like an experiment with trial and error.
But at that exact moment I heard a familiar set of feet bang their way down the stairs and promptly heard the open, then slam shut without a word. Alright, I wasn't predicting him to go outside, especially in the storm that was still raging outside. The downpour itself wouldn't be harmful to anyone, but the lightening however...
I straightened myself out of my chair and dashed down the hallway to the front door. Throwing it open, I shouted out to Alistair over the raging wind and thunder.
"Alistair!" I shouted with cupped hooves. "Where are you!?!"
No response.
"Alistair! You need to come back inside, it's not safe out here!"
Nothing.
"Alistair!"
It was apparent that he wasn't going to respond. I was going to have to go out into this raging monsoon and find him myself. I had no idea if he'd even listen to me or try to harm me with that magic of his but at the moment it was the only option I had available. Stepping off the front stoop, I closed the front door behind me and trudged off into the pouring rain.
I was practically blind. Rain and wind peppered me from all directions. The darkened clouds made the night blacker than normal and the crashes of thunder and lightening only served disorient me more. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid. However, I had more important things to focus on, things fear wouldn't be able to overcome.
After a few minutes of blindly searching I caught a glimpse of movement in the distance. I trotted towards it, my hooves caked with mud and my fur entirely drenched. The chill of the wind was starting to bother me, sickness would no doubt come in a few days time. I kept on moving towards the flicker of something I assumed was there.
And there he was, his back to me, clutching both his suitcases in each hand, moving through the muck with a bit more efficiency than me. I considered reaching out to him to get his attention but immediately decided against it. He was reactive, very moody at the moment. One wrong notion in he might turn me to dust right where I stood. I'd need to be a little less direct with him. Hopefully, he'd be comfortable with that.
"Alistair!" I shouted just a few yards away, prompting him to turn around and face me.
He glared at me and put both suitcases down. "What the heck do you want?" he snarled. "Gonna try and convince me to come back? Think I'm that stupid?"
"No," I had to shout over the rain. "I came to say I was sorry. It was wrong for me to say that to you. I was scared of what you'd do if you didn't calm down. It was the only thing I could do to defend myself. I never meant to hurt you."
"Yeah, I sure believe that. Only the twenty other times you've said that. I'm done playing this game, Neuro. I'm done with this, all of it."
"What?" I said in legitimate confusion. "What do you mean by that?"
He took a step towards, his face a mess of anger and despair. "I'm leaving, Nero. I'm done with this realm. I thought it was paradise when I first laid eyes on it, but now, after everything I've been through, it just seems like the opposite. I'm gonna find a nice, quiet place to perform the spell and then I'll be gone by morning. You, and everypony else in Equestria, won't have to worry about the psychopath Alistair ever again."
His words hit me in the gut like a rocket. None of it had been a personal attack, more so the declaration of what his intentions. It wasn't direct suicide or anything but him leaving this realm would practically be the same thing for us still living here. He'd be the first man since...ever to willingly leave Equestria after appearing here. And if that was the case, was it really his fault or ours?
A crack of lightening sounded nearby followed by a boom of thunder. I took a step towards him. "You don't have to do this, Alistair. There's still hope."
"No, there's not. I have nothing left in this world. No friends, no interests. I don't even have a home of my own. I came here to try and sort things out but what I got was just more pain to add onto to what I already carry. I'm through with it all and I'm sick of trying to wait for this all to pass. For almost a year I've lived like this and it's finally time for me to put a stop to it."
I looked down to my hooves, an old familiar feeling creeping itself into my chest. It wasn't fear, it wasn't anger, and it was guilt. This young man had seeked me out in hope of finding one pony, one last pony he could trust and I had failed him. I had the choice to help him but instead I let my selfish curiosity get the better of me once again. I couldn't changed what had happened then but perhaps I could change what was happening now.
"Are you sure about this?" I said over the rain that was picking up even further. "Are you really sure you want to leave this realm, to never return to a place you once saw as a sanctuary? Who's to say that when you leave here you'll just reappear in a place like Solitude, another wasteland, another barren tract of nothing?
"Would you be happy being on you own once again, after experiencing what it was like to speak with other living beings, to understand them and yourself? Can you honestly look me in the eyes and say that you wouldn't regret this decision? Because I'll tell you this, once you leave this realm, you won't have the liberty to of a second chance. Is that a risk you're willing to take?"
Alistair opened his mouth to shout something but promptly closed. He looked up at me and back to his feet, his face racked with a sense of pondering. He stood this way for quite some time, mentally weighing the options and feelings that were no doubt swirling through his mind. Looking back up at the sky, he let out a howl of anguish and pain.
Dropping to his knees and into the rain soaked mud, he looked to me in defeat. "Alright...I'll stay...I'll...go back to the house now..." It was at that instant that he drooped to his left, collapsing to the ground with a low thud.
----------
We left the next day on the train to Canterlot. We didn't talk much as we got ready to leave that morning. Just the necessary conversation between us as we packed everything. The storm had cleared up by morning, leaving the entire landscape moist with the leftover water.
The pathway into town was surprisingly dry in comparison to the rest of the forest. I was appreciative of not having to worry about mud getting in my shoes as we walked, but I couldn't help but be reminded of my first trek along this path just a few days prior. My, how things had changed.
Neuro and I sat next to each other as the train pulled out. We didn't talk for well over an hour, avoiding the other's gaze with glances out the window or with a sudden interest in the empty car's tacky carpeting. But to me surprise, it wasn't Neuro who started the conversation.
"Neuro..." I said with a care to my words. "I'm...sorry for what happened last night. It was immature of me. I had no right to act like that."
He turned to me and smiled wearily behind his spectacles. "You had the right to get mad at me. I've done enough to you as time stands and the fact that I wasn't honest with you the moment you arrived...I should have known you would've been uncomfortable with the contents in that trunk."
To be honest, I wasn't all that bothered by then. It was more the assumption that Neuro's hospitality, his kindness, was all a ruse just so I could be his personal experiment one more time. I now knew that that had never been his intention and that he had his own reasons for keeping those relics hidden inside the house.
But I didn't tell him as much, not wanting to focus on the ordeal any further. I was ready to move onto whatever happened to the both of us in Canterlot. We both didn't know exactly what was going to happen once we arrived. Would we part ways? Would I stay with him? Would we leave the city entirely? There were so many possibilities and yet neither of us had the energy to consider them.
I could sense, however, that Neuro had something of his own to apologize and I braced myself what I inevitably knew it was going to be.
"And Alistair," he said with much more heaviness to his words than my own. "About what I said...with your...involvement with that group..."
I held up a hand to stop him. "Say no more. Apology accepted."
His eyes widened. "R-Really? Just like that? You're not troubled?"
"Neuro, I've had enough of dwelling on ancient history and having to recollect each horrid thing that happened to me the day before. I've had enough of these horrible moments of when I don't know if my relationship with somepony is about to be severed forever or strengthened for eternity. I'm ready move onto different things and to stop letting the past dictate my future."
"It bothers me that it's taken this long to figure out but I'm happy I'm finally starting to understand it all. It's time for me to grow up and find something else to do with my life. Whatever that will be is still a mystery and that's okay with me. I'm ready for a little excitement."
Neuro's faced brightened and for the first time it looked like some of the tension in his face, tension he'd held since the moment I'd arrived, begin to unfurl. "I'm glad to hear that Alistair. I...hope I played some role in helping you with this. I want to make up for everything that's happened. I've let you down already and I don't intend to do it again."
I of course had reason to doubt him. Trust was a two way street and he’d broken that rule on two occasions already. But something seemed different about him. There was a sense of urgency to what he’d said, like he was running out of time with me. Perhaps that little threat the night before just reminded him that I never did have to stay here upon my own accord.
Either way, there was legitimacy behind his words. I believed what he was telling me, despite experience telling me otherwise. I once again was ready to lower my guard and open up to another pony in a very long time. Maybe it would work out and maybe it wouldn’t, but at least I was getting a second chance at all this.
That was something I was truly blessed for.