//------------------------------// // Chapter VI: Pondering The Past // Story: Host Of Souls // by SapphireWings999 //------------------------------// I kept on flying until I lost track of how long I'd been flying for. All I did know was that my wings were getting exhausted as I decided to walk for a bit, giving them some rest. David, what's wrong? Twilight asked out of concern. After what had just happened with Gilda, I had remained completely quiet for the entire time I was travelling. Even when the others voiced their concerns for me, I stayed silent. Is everything O.K.? Fluttershy questioned, nervously. He hasn't talked in hours, Rainbow spoke. What's eatin ya bud? I knew that I couldn't avoid the voices in my head for much longer, but I kept on putting off answering them for as long as I could. I was a world-class procrastinator in that sense. C'mon, Dayvid, ya can't jus keep avoidin us like this, Applejack stated. Don't keep it bottled up inside, darling. Let us help you, Rarity encouraged. Yeah, Davey. Tell us why you're being soo quiet all of a sudden, Pinkie piped up. Finally, I broke my silence by answering them. "Alright. Do you guys really wanna know why Ah've been this quiet since... ya know?" Yes, the six mares simultaneously answered in my head. "O.K. What y'all gotta realize is that what Ah'm about ta tell ya Ah've shared with very few others. Only some o' ma relatives, a few o' ma friends, 'n Savannah know about this." You can trust us, Twilight replied, pleasantly. "Alright then. Back about four years ago, Ah heard voices in ma head." I know what that's like, Pinkie spoke up. I hear voices in my head all the time. I paused for a second before remembering that this was most likely just part of the status quo with Pinkie and continued. "Well this is kinda different from that Pinkie. Tha voices that Ah heard told me ta do things... terrible things ta maself 'n others. It was those voices that almost brought me ta kill maself numerous times. One time, tha voices told me ta... harm a large group full o' complete innocents or else Ah'd die..." I paused briefly, so terrified of these memories that I was almost unsure if I could bring myself to say the following words, "a group o' ma own friends." You didn't... do it... did you? Fluttershy's voice trembled. "Ah almost did, but Ah was stopped before Ah could go through with it. Cops apprehended me, contacted ma parents, 'n Ah was brought to a hospital where Ah was diagnosed with Schizophrenia." What's... skit-so-what's it? Rainbow puzzled. "Schizophrenia is a mental disorder. Ya know how there are times when ya might suffer from an illness or somethin like that?" Yes, all six replied. "Well, Schizophrenia is an illness o' tha brain. It causes a person ta be unable ta discern fantasy from reality. Tha voices in ma head weren't real, but Ah didn't know that at tha time." If it's only an illness, why don't you just get it cured? Pinkie asked. Pinkie! Twilight protested. "No it's alright Twi. In answer ta yer question, Pinkie, illnesses o' tha brain don't have an actual cure. Medicine can be taken ta keep it under control, but tha problem still remains. After Ah was diagnosed, Ah was put in tha psychiatric ward fer 'bout a month with all tha other nutcases. Ah'll never forget how absolutely alone Ah felt fer tha whole time Ah was stuck in there. Ah hardly knew anyone there, hardly anyone visited aside from family, 'n tha whole time Ah was there, Ah was strugglin ta hold on ta ma sanity." Why didn't you tell any of us about this before? Rarity questioned. "Because it's somethin that Ah've been tryin ta avoid talking bout. Ah don't really bring it up much with anyone because Ah don't want any of 'em ta think any differently o' me. Unfortunately, after Ah had harmed Gilda back there, those bad memories came flooding back ta me. What if... what if Ah'm jus revertin back ta that same ole evil person again? Ah promised maself Ah wouldn't go back there again which was why Ah never told anyone back home bout how Ah came here las time fer fear that they'd send me back." There was a brief moment of silence after I spoke before Twilight finally answered back. Look, David, I'm not going to act like I know what you're going through right now because I don't, none of us do, but what I do know is that you can't just keep something like that bottled up like this because it's not healthy. You need to open up to others so that you're not stuck having to deal with this alone. Also you need to realize that those memories are behind you and they no longer make up who you are. Someone I know once said, "My past does not define me cuz my past is not today". The exact same principle applies to you. Also, don't say things like that you're evil. You are a genuinely good person, Flutters affirmed. I should know, being the Element Of Kindness. Never doubt for a second that there's goodness inside you. Plus, just like you've been there for us, we'll all be there for you no matter what comes our way. Definitely, Rainbow replied. You bet, AJ answered. Of course, Rarity stated. Absotively, Pinkie beamed. "Thanks guys," I smiled. "Hey. Whataya guys say I sing a couple more songs to pass the time?" Sounds great! all six of them replied in unison. And so, with newfound vigor and confidence, and a song on my lips, I took to the sky again, determined now more than ever that I'd make it to the Crystal Empire on time. * * * * * * * * Several minutes had passed by the time that my wings got tired and I decided to once again let them rest while I walked. I had just finished singing the song "Goodbye" by Miley Cyrus when one of the mares finally spoke up. I really liked that song. Who's it by? Fluttershy questioned. "That song was done by a female singer named Miley Cyrus." Is she one o yer favorites when it comes ta singers? AJ asked. "She's O.K. Before Ah met Savannah, Ah had such a huge crush on her." At that moment, I immediately had a flashback to the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards, particularly Miley's performance with Robin Thicke where she twerked up against him. What is that? Rainbow questioned accusingly, undoubtedly referring to my flashback. "Uh nothin. Nothin at all," I nervously laughed, trying to banish the thought from my head. David. Was that Miley? Twi spoke up. I paused for several seconds before responding. "Yes. Yes it was." What in the name of Celestia was she doing? Rarity reacted, disgustedly. It looked extremely undignified. "Well, Rare, one o tha sad truths about ma world is that celebrities often do really bizarre things jus ta stay relevant in tha public eye. Miley was no different. In tha eyes of a celebrity, they're willin ta do anythin good or bad as long as it gets people talkin. Tha funny thing is, though, even after she did somethin like that, Ah still like her as a person." How? Rainbow asked, in a mixture of confusion and anger. What is there to possibly still like about her? "Ah'll try ta show ya." At that moment, I conjured up a memory I had of the following year's Video Music Awards. In that memory, I saw Jimmy Fallon announcing Miley Cyrus as winner of the Video Of The Year award. Oh great, Rainbow scoffed. She won an award. Whoop dee doo. "Jus keep watching." As the memory continued, Miley and a male friend of hers who looked about the same age as me stood up and hugged each other, but instead of her going up to accept the award, she let him go up to get it. Wait a minute. Who's this guy? Pinkie puzzled. "His name is Jesse n he's homeless." My memory then showed Jesse giving his acceptance speech, discussing the 1.6 million homeless youth across America and telling how people could help make a difference in their lives. "Do ya guys see now? She could've just as easily made her win all about her, but instead decided ta use her celebrity title n her influence ta bring awareness to a very real issue in ma country. When Ah saw this, Ah couldn't help but think o Savannah n how she might've ended up being just another one o those homeless young people had Ah not helped her out n supported her career choice." Wow. I never would've thought of that before, Rainbow admitted. "One o tha things Ah've always tried ta do is look fer tha good in others. Not that that's been easy all tha time, but at least Ah try all tha while knowin that er'body makes mistakes once in a while. Ah sure know that Ah'm far from perfect." Me mentioning my lack of perfection brought up a memory of me as a teenager at a friend's birthday party from before I had met Savannah where I was dancing with said friend. And when I say "dancing" I mean more along the lines of the two of us grinding up against each other. However, I banished the thought from my mind just as quickly as it had entered it before any of the mares in my head could comment on it. I didn't need any of that for them to dwell on. "But enough about that, let's talk about something different." Ooo ooo I know! Let's talk about Twilight's new castle! Pinkie piped up. "Sure, Pinkie," I smiled. As I took flight once again, we started discussing possible reasons as to why the castle had appeared and what it's purpose might be. However, as we pondered, I was completely unprepared for who I would come across next. * * * * * * * * About a half hour had passed since we first started talking about Twilight's castle and none of us could come to an agreement about it. Rainbow was convinced that there was nothing more to it than the fact that it had just appeared, but the rest of us felt like there must've been some purpose to it. Now what that purpose might be, none of us had a clue. As I continued on towards the Crystal Empire, I could definitely notice the change in temperature, slight though it was, and I wasn't the only one. Brr, Rarity shivered. It certainly is feeling a mite chillier than it did earlier. Tell me about it, Rainbow remarked. But that just means we're getting closer to the Crystal Empire, Twi chimed in, confidently. At this rate, we should be there before nightfall. That is good news, Fluttershy spoke up. "Definitely," I replied with a smile, before turning back to face the direction from whence I came. "It won't be long now Savannah. We'll be together again soon." But no sooner did I turn back to face the direction I was heading in then I saw three dark shapes flying towards me. It wasn't long before I realized that they were dragons and not just any dragons, these were the teenage dragons that Spike had encountered more than two seasons ago. Oh no! Rarity stated, her tone full of disgust. It's those same uncouth barbarians that my poor widdle Spikey Wikey came across last time. Meep! Flutters squeaked in terror. What do those bozos think they're doing here? Rainbow questioned, her own tone equally full of disgust. "Ah dunno, Rainbow, but Ah'm not in a mood ta ask 'em. Not now, not ever." I then soared even higher up into the clouds in the hopes of avoiding them. I couldn't help but smile as I glided above the clouds with the setting sun shining on my sapphire feathers, certain that I had avoided the teen dragons. But my smile quickly disappeared as the three of them rose from the clouds and cut me off. I tried to stop, but instead ended up crashing into all of them, sending all of us plummeting towards the ground. I managed to break free of the entanglement and gently lowered myself down while the rest of them crashed hard on the ground, causing a small tremor in the process. It wasn't long after this when the red one, the leader (who I knew had a name, but said name had long since escaped my memory), lashed out at me. "Hey!" he protested. "Why don't you watch where you're going?" "Excuse you?" I replied, sharply. "Who was it that flew right into my path when I was trying to pass? Cuz I'm pretty sure it was you guys." "Us dragons don't move out of the way for anyone," the purple one with a beak and long bangs covering his eyes retorted. "Everyone else moves out of the way for us." "We especially don't move out of the way for namby pamby ponies like you," the lead dragon finished. "I'm not a pony. At least not entirely," I replied. "Look at my hind legs." They then took a good long look at my normal human legs before speaking again. "What kind of legs are those supposed to be?" the husky bluish-grey dragon asked, mockingly. "I know right?" the purple one laughed "They look like you just put on stilts. Are you sure you're not part giraffe?" I let out an audible snort that was undeniably equine sounding as I was starting to get pissed off at them. Finally, I answered. "I'll have you know that these legs are my normal human legs. I was born as a human, but found out that I was also a descendant of a pony princess from long ago." "Hahaha," the leader scoffed. "I'll bet that whatever these 'humans' are they're just as pathetic as ponies are." "We are not pathetic! There have been many great humans where I come from. Leaders, scientists, and even soldiers who have worked hard for the betterment of ourselves as a species and a brighter future. We work together to build each other up, just like these ponies that you mock. That's the difference between us and you. All you ever do is worry about your own personal needs and yes there are some of us who only look after ourselves, but hey no one's perfect. And you know what? I happen to be proud of my ancestry, both the human and pony sides, because both sides contain something important. In my world, it's called 'humanity', meaning that there's the potential for one to show kindness and compassion towards others." Way to go, David, Rainbow cheered. That's right, Davey, Pinkie piped up. You tell those big meanies off. Darn straight, AJ encouraged. "Oh yeah? Well let's see how your 'humanity' as you call it helps you get out of this situation. Get him boys." And with little warning, the slender purple dragon and the more rotund bluish grey dragon dove towards me in an attempted tackle. However, I was too quick for them and did a back flip out of their way so that they just dove face first into the dirt. Before they could have time to recover, I took off like a rocket, trying to put some distance between myself and them. Looking back, I saw all three of them flying after me, but the distance between us never seemed to get any smaller. It was then that I knew I was making great speed. But then, at the most inopportune time it could've possibly chosen, I experienced another round of sharp shooting pain, this time centered around my torso. As every nerve ending in that area screamed out, as did I and the six mares in my head, I ended up going into a crash landing, lying there unable to move on account of the paralyzing agony I was enduring as my torso shrank to the size of a regular pony's and the three dragons caught up to me, turned me on my back, grabbed my fore hooves and hind legs, and pinned me in position with the leader standing over me. "What's your humanity gonna do for you now, freak?" he spoke mockingly. "All your 'kindness and compassion' you spoke about have done nothing for you. They're just another way of saying 'weakness'. Now, the three of us are gonna have some fun with you by having a little cookout," he then chuckled, sinisterly. "What do you have to say to that?" I felt very fearful at first, then I felt a small flame of anger deep inside me starting to grow even larger by the second. Suddenly, it became like a raging wildfire of fury as raspy words came from my mouth that I had no control over. "Go to Tartarus you beasts!!!" I hissed venomously. No sooner had the words escaped my lips when my horn glowed a mixture of ebony, mauve, and crimson, resulting in all three dragons being levitated off of me up into the air where their bodies began to bend and contort to uncomfortable positions. They were now my puppets for me to do whatever I wanted with them. The mares were quick to speak up, trying to shake me out of this rage filled trance that I was under. David, what're you doing!?! Rarity questioned, nervously. David, stop! Twi shouted. You don't have to do this! I heard their voices, but I was soo wrapped up in my dark fit of hatred that I just drowned them out. My slit pupil eyes were fixed on the dragons in a cold and yet, at the same time, burning stare, my teeth were clenched tightly, and my lips were curled back in a defiant sneer as I watched their looks of horror at this loss of bodily control. It pleased me to see the looks of terror on their faces (their faces that were gasping for breath as a result of me suffocating them with my dark magic) as I bent their bodies to my will. I smiled wickedly as I began to see trickles of blood streaming down from their eyes. DAVID!!! PLEASE JUST STOP!!! Fluttershy cried out at the top of her lungs in desperation. That was all it took. Hearing that voice, soo full of fear that it was literally trembling, screaming out in my mind snapped me out of my trance and dropped the teen dragons to the ground. Me and the dragons looked at each other with fear in our eyes, them because they were terrified of me and me because I was terrified of what I had just done and that the darkness was only taking control of me faster, all while I heard soft weeping from Flutters. The dragons quickly fled away from me as I stood there completely shocked; this was the closest I had ever come to killing anyone and it shook me to my core. Finally, after a lengthy moment of silence, I spoke in a trembling whisper. "I'm... I'm soo sorry, Flutters. I'm sorry... all of you. I pray... I pray that you never have to see me like this again." And, with tears running down my face, I turned north and flew as fast as I could towards the Crystal Empire. It wasn't long before I ran into a blizzard. The icy wind beat against me, forcing me to fight it as I was determined to make it there before the day was over. Unfortunately, in an attempt to fly far above the stormy gusts and dark, foreboding clouds, I strained soo hard that my right wing tightened up in a cramp, forcing me to proceed on foot. I continued to fight the frigid gales as I took step after tiring step north, losing track of how long I had been walking. Finally, I couldn't walk anymore and collapsed, exhausted, in the snow. My eyes started to flutter shut as weariness came over me. The last thing I remembered was someone dragging me through the snow, but I was too weak to care as all the world just slipped away and I blacked out.