Pinkie finally got to Sugar Cube Corner. She slowly went to her room, but Mrs. Cake stopped her, needing to tell her something.
"Oh hello dearie, I wanted you to know that Rainbow Dash came by to tell you something but since you weren't here, she told me to tell you that she won't be able to make it to the swimming lake later. She is meeting with somepony else to do something. She hopes you have a good day and that you two can get together soon though."
Pinkie didn't look up. She stood there at the bottom of the steps, her heart aching. It hurt already and that made it just hurt even worse. She held back tears as she just nodded and mumbled a almost inaudible, "Ok, thanks," and went to her room.
Mrs Cake went back to doing what she was doing, too preoccupied to really notice Pinkie's sad behavior.
Pinkie went to her room, glanced at Gummy as she passed by his basket, sighed at how peaceful he looked and then went to her bed and laid down. She wished she could be like Gummy sometimes, so peaceful and without a care in the world. She closed her eyes and thoughts about how terrible she was and how she should be punished for just...being herself.
She then opened her eyes suddenly. She slowly reached over to her small night stand next to her bed and reached in one of the opening and pulled out her sharpest cake cutting knife.
She got an idea. She had heard of cutting before. She knew ponies did it a lot when they were sad...she never understood it...probably because she had always been such a happy mare before. Now she wondered if it would help her.
She looked from the knife to her arm, and back to the knife again, collecting her thoughts and trying to make a decision about what to do. Would she be able to hide the cuts? Did it even matter? Could she make an excuse? If her friends found out...what would they think? Would they think less of her? She didn't want them to worry...but she felt like she couldn't control her actions or thoughts anymore. Her thoughts were all negative now. She felt as though making herself feel pain and punishing herself was the right thing to do.
She slowly placed the knife on top on the surface of her arm, took a breath, closed her eyes and quickly sliced the knife through her coat and then through her skin, making a line of red liquid drip down her arm. She opened her eyes to see the cut. She smelled the blood and somehow, it calmed her. She sliced again, wincing a little at the slight pain but continuously sliced up her arm, getting used to the feeling. She even found a little pleasure in it. Finally, after seven cuts, she stopped.
She smiled then. Tears fell from her cheeks and onto the floor, but she was smiling. She smiled because she felt that her punishment would make her a better mare. It would help her in the long-run. She felt as though she deserved the pain she had given herself. Besides, it wasn't so bad.
Suddenly there were hoofsteps heard from the stairs. Her eyes went big and she quickly put the knife away, placing her arm behind her back.
She saw a familiar face come up the stairs. It was Fluttershy.
"Hello Pinkie, I was wondering if..." Fluttershy stopped talking because she noticed that a puddle of blood was on the floor. She looked at Pinkie and saw her arm behind her back and looked at her with an unreadable expression. It was fear, surprise and worry all in one. "Pinkie Pie...is that...blood on the floor?"
"Um...no...it's ketchup...I was having a snack and needed to-"
"No, it is not ketchup. I know the difference between blood and ketchup. I am not dumb, Pinkie. Now why is there blood on your bedroom floor?"
"I...I..." Pinkie was at a loss for words so she pulled out her arm and showed Fluttershy the cuts on her now red arm. It didn't even look pink anymore. It was just red all over and still had blood dripping from it.
Fluttershy looked at it with another unreadable stare. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, came up to Pinkie Pie and hugged her, blood getting on her fur. She didn't care. She felt so bad for her friend.
"Pinkie Pie...why wouldn't you tell one of the girls about this? You could have even told me. Why would you even think something like this is okay to do to yourself?" Fluttershy asked, holding back tears, still tightly wrapped around one of her best friends.
"I...I don't know. I just panicked and didn't know what I should do and..." Pinkie then burst into tears and the two slid down onto the floor, crying in the other's arms.
Pinkie needed to let this out. She sobbed and sobbed until she was hyperventilating. Fluttershy soothed her and rubbed her back.
"Shhh, I'm here for you. You don't need to be worried. I'm going to help you get better, Pinkie."