Pinkie's Depression

by kaytisparklewriter


Guilty Feelings and Demons

Pinkie sat in the spa chair, closed eyes, feeling the cool misty water on her hooves. She took a deep breath and smiled. It was nice to relax and get pampered. She never took time for herself because she worried about other ponies more than herself.
Suddenly, she felt guilty. Why should she be getting a hooficure and her mane done when other ponies couldn’t afford to eat? She opened her eyes and lifted her hood, making the spa workers stop working on her hooves.
“I’ve changed my mind…I want my payment to go to the next pony who comes in here. Just let them know that Pinkie Pie took care of them and they don’t have to pay for a thing.” Pinkie thought for a moment. If ponies knew that it was her, they might want to pay her back…and she didn’t want them feeling guilty. Pinkie bit her lip before adding something. “Actually…make sure that the ponies don’t know it’s from me. Just say that a friend wanted to pay for their treatment, that is, if you don’t mind?” Pinkie asked politely.
“Of course we don’t, but that’s an expensive treatment, are you sure Miss Pie?” One of the employees asked.
“Completely sure,” Pinkie said matter-of-factly. She put on a small smile and got up from the chair. She walked to the counter, put her bits on the table, and walked out, without saying a thing. She stayed behind and watched to see who would come in next. She wanted to see what pony she was making happy.
After a long while of waiting, nopony was coming. She remembered that it was a slow day. She then got a great idea. She ran as quickly as she could to one of her favorite colts’ houses; Button Mash’s.


She knocked on the door slightly and tapped her hoof. She wasn't that impatient but she wanted to make sure she got this done before somepony else got the treatment.
Soon, Button Mash came to the door, which is what she was expecting.
"Hey Pinkie! What are you doing here, not that I'm not glad to see you of course," Button said.
"Hey Button, it's nice to see you too. I was wondering if your mom is here," Pinkie said, hoping in the worst way that she was.
The reason Pinkie wanted Button Mash's mom was because Button's mom works so much and provides for her children so much that she never has enough time for herself. Pinkie wanted to make her happy.
"Oh yeah, she is, lemme go get her for ya!" Button said happily, as he trotted off to go get her. Pinkie waited as patiently as she could and when Button's mom came out of the door, she smiled slightly.
"Oh why, hello Pinkie, what brings you here?" Button's mom asked.
"I had to tell you that they are giving free spa treatments out to one lucky pony today and I wanted to make sure you knew. You really deserve it with how much you work." Pinkie smiled brightly at Button's mom, not wanting her to suspect that it was her who had paid for the treatment.
"Oh really? That's great! I wish I had the time but I have to watch Button Mash today. His babysitter cancelled on me unexpectedly. Thanks for telling me though," Button's mom said. Pinkie's expression came heartbroken.
"Oh...alright...sorry I bothered you," Pinkie Pie said sadly and then realized that her happy spirit was once again gone. She would have watched Button Mash but she had already promised to do something for Rainbow Dash this afternoon. She then got a goood idea that might cheer her up. "Oh well, why don't I take Button with me to the swimming lake? Rainbow and I are going there and I want you to have a nice day, Mrs. Mash." Pinkie smiled brightly, so hoping she would say yes.
"Well, I really would love that but Button has a dentist appointment this afternoon and I frankly just don't have the time. Thank you so much for the offer though." Button's mom smiled back at Pinkie and the eyed her mane style. "Say Pinkie, what happened to your mane?"
Pinkie barely noticed what she had said. Pinkie was heartbroken once again, the feeling of emptiness overwhelmed her. She knew this feeling all too well. She wasn't able to help her friend. She wasn't able to make a pony happy; a pony who truly deserved it. She felt like she was being stabbed in the heart...over...and over, her blood spilling over everywhere.
She always felt like this with the smallest of things, didn't matter what it was. She didn't do well in something and wasn't able to help. That is all Pinkie saw, was her inability to help somepony smile and be happy.
"Pinkie?" Button's mom questioned.
"Oh um...oh, my mane...I just wanted to style it differently." Pinkie put on the best smile she could do. It was becoming so much harder every time.
"Oh! I like it. Anyway, have a nice day Pinkie and thanks again for offering and telling me about the spa thing!" With that, Button and his mother went inside, closing the door, leaving Pinkie at the door steps.
Pinkie walked home, slowly and dazed in her own negative thoughts and feelings.