//------------------------------// // 13. Inner Chambers, Home // Story: Little Blue Cat // by Chatoyance //------------------------------// Once upon a time, when the ponies came to save the humans from the dying earth, there was a Little Blue Cat By Chatoyance 13. Inner Chambers, Home A deep bow, as always, to Gabriel LaVedier, and Aedina, my spouse. Chang'e's Tower was usually a decent and respectable place, but sometimes her charity case Luna took too many liberties. This was one of those times. Luna wasn't a bad roommate, not really. She made delicious fish flesh at regular intervals, as she should, and from thin air no less. This was almost reason enough to keep her, really. She was also good for a dependable brushing on command, and her needy desire to snuggle and be affectionate was tolerable and even sometimes welcome. Especially on cold winter nights. Chang'e found Luna's presence within her gigantic, moon-themed bed to be fairly welcome, then. Sometimes, though, Luna acted as if she owned the castle, much less Chang'e's Tower, and this could be frustrating for the poor cat. Luna, as she did at least once a month - sometimes twice! - had two friends over for some manner of silly, secretive, and very private affair she would throw. One of Luna's guests was reasonably okay. She was the head of the maids of the Chang'e's Castle, named 'Lime'. She often provided small treats for Chang'e, which made her a decent enough sort in the cat's mental book. The other guest of Luna's was a slinky mare named Flour... or Floor, or Fleur or something. She kept trying endlessly to make friendly overtures to Chang'e, but it was far too enjoyable to spurn them simply to watch the over-emotional reaction. So she was marginally entertaining, at least. Silly ponies. The three were wearing cloaks and hoods, while sitting around a table singing some sort of ridiculous song about vegetables. "I hath got mine aubergine, what need have I for more, for more, what need have I for more? For I gobble, gobble, gobble mine aubergine, what need have I for more?" It was noisy and meaningless, and Chang'e just wished they would all act more like cats. Each sang the song about a different vegetable. Cucumbers. Butternut Squash. Compulsory vegetarians truly were a dim-witted sort. A little raw tuna in their diet would do the lot of them some good. Finally. Quiet. Chang'e rolled over on her enormous covered bed and squinted at the light from the moon. She debated going out for a good prowl, to check her territory and possessions, which was essentially everything and everyone. It was a burden, sometimes, to rule the entire universe of Equestria, but somecat needed to do it - the ponies were just hopeless. On occasion, her servant Luna would beg for her to fix some desperate problem or solve some deeply retarded situation, and Chang'e would end up embrangled in some ridiculous... oh, there. Right there. Embrangled. Luna often spoke in such archaic language because she had been forcibly given a time out for a few hundred or thousand years or something. Her words just sort of seeped into Chang'e. Luna really wasn't good at keeping up with the times. Still... fresh fish. Oh, no! The trio wasn't going out tonight. They usually left, giving Chang'e some peace in her own tower but no, not tonight. Chang'e sighed. Servants. What was a cat to do? Noblesse oblige. Some things must be endured, it kept one's lessers content. Luna was going on about something she had learned during her secret intrigues against her sister. The daffy creature made a hobby of preserving the writings and films and music and other arts of the pathetic humans in the other universe. Luna's sister, Celestia, would throw a fit if she knew. Much of the material was hardly appropriate for the weak minds of mere ponies. Still, Chang'e loved a good conspiracy. It was a cat thing. And Celestia was an over-mothering fussbudget in any case. To tell the truth, Luna's secretive antics were really quite endearing. Her duplicitous side was almost catlike. But nothing this night was the least bit catlike! What was that awful racket? The three ponies had their cloaks off and were dancing and singing, tromping the soft, comfortable carpets flat with their hooves, carrying on as if insane! And their choice of music to sing... what was this wretched, human-derived nonsense? "Upon the first measure, do thou to jump unto the side sinister. Immediately, then, do thou to follow with but a hoofstep singular unto the direction dextral. Then, indeed, must needs thou buck up to place thy hooves firmly, upon the flanks – thine foreknees held out akimbo, as though they were to mimic the wings of a bird. Bringing thy hocks, as though beginning to bow to make reverence, in connection, one with the other so firmly adjacent that they do seem almost to be bound together – do thou to move thy flanks, repeatedly, in the manner of a swivel thrusting slattern with great speed and force. Tis a motion the like of which to drive thy mind to Bedlam. All of this do thou again, until Time itself doth seem to warp at the weft." Never had the three mares seemed more foolish than upon this night. Chang'e was brought to cat laughter, which of course was represented as a sharp hiss. She then immediately leapt from the bed to the floor. There was only so much loss of dignity to which a marble chamber could be subjected. Or a cat. Chang'e bolted elegantly for the entrance chamber, and ran at the closed, locked, silver doors. A slight twist, and Chang'e darted through dimensional interstice to find herself outside, on her nice stone bridge. Overhead, the moon she had her roommate attend to nearly blinded her cat vision. Silly Luna still allowed the wretched thing to go full. Cats did not need that much light at night! She kept telling her this, but Luna just never seemed to learn. Chang'e began walking towards her castle. There might be something of interest in the palace kitchens. Sometimes Lime had the staff leave a little treat there just for her, behind the stairs that lead to the saltcellar. A little nosh might be just the thing right now. Something to take the mind off of silly, silly ponies. It wasn't a bad life, of course, just a demanding one. But then, that was expected when one was the owner of an entire private cosmos. It was a thirty-four to thirty-six hour a day job (those minions, Celestia and Luna never could keep accurate time) being a cat. Chang'e padded towards the entrance to the castle, and slipped between time and space once more. In the hallway, she headed for the stairs. Noblesse oblige. Noblesse oblige. And fish. Always fish. THE END The Lost In The Herd Series: One: The Big Respawn, Two: Euphrosyne Unchained, Three: Letters From Home, Four: Teacup, Down On The Farm The Conversion Bureau Novels: 27 Ounces: A story of eight and one half ponies The Taste Of Grass The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste The Conversion Bureau: The 800 Year Promise The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society! 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