//------------------------------//
// The Ticket Master 
// Story: Letters of a Disgruntled Princess for Disgruntled Ponies 
// by wizard32363 
//------------------------------//

Princess Bowlestia,

You would not believe the day I’ve been having. I mean, it’s already bad enough that you’re making me patrol the night, but honestly, do I have to watch these six drug addicts fight their way through whatever trip they’re on? Admit it, I’m your go-to for everything these freaks do.

Guessing they all were in some state of extreme acid-tripping, I actually decided the fun thing to do would be to prank them, so I sent them Gala tickets under your name. 

Oddly enough, you never thought to invite me to the Grand Galloping Gala. I mean, are you some sick, twisted Princess or something? I’ll just throw my own party, and you won’t be invited, or I’ll banish you to the sun. How does that sound, huh?

The funny thing about the tickets is that I only sent two of them. I mean, making all of them go would be a horrendous bother on your “party,” but watching them fight for that ticket was even better. I swore I saw that depressed pink one about to stab Twilight Snorkel with a dagger. I could care less where she got it from, but it was the best thing I’d seen in years. 

The best part was that they each tried to do something different for that smartass, and she ended up sending the tickets back to you! 

Whew, was I surprised when I later on heard that she did it because she secretly stashed one away for herself. I mean, I knew she was crooked, but not that crooked.

Although I wasn’t really particular about it, you sent six tickets to them, which I still knew you probably hated doing. I mean, nopony can stand those children for more than five minutes. No wonder they’re on something. They could never be noticed without it. 

In the end, Spike supposedly found Guymight’s lost ticket. I could care less. It’s not like I’ll be at that party. 

Or will I? 

You had better watch your back, yellow one, for Princess Luna is coming to spank a mare.

Which reminds me. Today I found Mr. Cake wandering the streets. God his voice is a bother, but he is a grown stallion in bed. I even sent him over to you, but I haven’t heard from him since. 

Maybe you do have some sense in that mouse brain of yours after all. Great job.

Your sexy sister of seduction,
Princess Swoona