//------------------------------// // The DJ // Story: Twilight Manages to Screw Up More Than Usual // by Fire Gazer the Alchemist //------------------------------// Twilight walked slowly, barely paying attention to the path before her, the cool breeze nipping at her face, the added weight of her bulging saddlebags, or even the dull throb using her splinted hoof gave her.  Her mind was elsewhere, back at the library — where she wished her body could be — trying to find the answers behind why two Elements of Harmony had suddenly lit up like firecrackers.   The gears rapidly spun in her mind, as she tried to go over everything she currently knew about them, which was frustratingly little.  In fact, the only new thing she’d been able to glean was that when the Element of Kindness had started glowing, it had released enough energy to activate and fully power her magicspectrometer.  That was it. Every hypothesis she’d constructed just didn’t fit the facts.  So far her best guess was that somehow her extended interaction with both Lyra and Derpy had caused their respective, misassigned elements to rekindle.  Even so, it was a flimsy guess at best. Next to her, Spike matched her pace, carrying the checklist for their supply run.  With a flick of his wrist he struck ‘quills’ from the list and shifted the paper up a little.  “Looks like the next thing we need is—” he squinted, trying to make out Twilight’s hurried scrawl.  “—um, hey Twilight what is this?” Twilight continued to stare off into space, not breaking her stride. “Twilight!” “Huh?”  Blinking, she came out of her thought-trance.  “What is it Spike?” He lowered the checklist, concern taking over his face.  “Are you all right?  You’ve been pretty distracted today.” Twilight lowered her head.  “I’m fine.” Spike rolled up the checklist.  “Still worried about the Elements?” She fought back a yawn.  “What else is there to worry about?” Spike tapped his chin.  “Well, there’s your health.”  Twilight shot him a glance over her shoulder.  “What?  You haven’t been sleeping or eating lately.  I’m getting really worried about you.” “Gah, you and everypony else.  I said I’m fine, all right?  Besides, I slept last night.”  A new yawn surfaced, and she failed to prevent it this time. “For five hours,” Spike pointed out.  “After spending Celestia knows how long observing the Elements.” “Oh shoot, Celestia!  I really need to send her an update.”  Twilight paused.  “And now that you’ve mentioned it, there’s still about a hundred letters I need to get to reading.  I’ll be sure to do that the second we get home and— oof!”  Twilight rammed face first into a crowd. Well to be more specific, it was a single pony in a crowd. And to be even more specific, it was the one pony Twilight really didn’t feel like running into right now:  Vinyl Scratch “Ah, hey what the heck?”  Twilight’s bump was enough to send Vinyl forward into some other ponies.  After some exchanged grumbles, Vinyl stood back up and turned.  “Watch where you’re going you little— oh hey, Smart Mare.”  She bobbed her head at Spike.  “Dragon Dude.” Spike waved cautiously, fearing that by just being around Vinyl another shockwave of sound might send him flying.  “Hi.” Twilight backed up to give her room.  “Sorry about hitting you.” Vinyl waved her off.  “Nah, it’s cool.” Twilight glanced between her and the crowd, whose heads she could barely see over.  “What’s going on?  Why’s everypony clogging up Mane Street?” “Oh, you gotta check this out, come on.”  Vinyl waved her over to an opening between the sea of pony heads.  Twilight peaked through and saw a large wagon set up in the middle of the road.  Squinting a little, she could see a blue pony standing at the center. “Okay, what am I looking at?” “Shh!  Just watch.” Straining her hearing, Twilight was able to listen beyond the murmurs of the crowd and make out what the pony onstage was saying. “Come on, silly ponies, do none of you have what it takes to match up to The Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie!”  She feigned a yawn.  “Or at least give her a decent challenge.” Twilight raised an eyebrow.  “Huh?” Vinyl grinned.  “She’s a magician who just blew into town.  Been talking pretty big too; said this whole spiel about fighting a constellation or something.” “Huh?” She shrugged.  “Yeah, I didn’t get it either.” Twilight turned her attention back to the stage, attributing that off hoof remark as “Vinyl just being Vinyl”.  An orange mare hopped onstage, and pointed at Trixie.  The crowd had become quiet enough for Twilight to hear their exchange. “Now listen here, missy,” the orange mare — who seemed more familiar the more Twilight looked at her — sneered at Trixie.  “Ya certainly talk a big game, but yer cheap tricks are no match for down home country skills like these!”  She whipped out a lasso, spinning it expertly around her body. “Hey, isn’t that Applejack?” Spike asked, pointing. Nodding, Twilight found that that was indeed the name she’d had on the tip of her tongue.  “Yeah, you’re right.”  She frowned slightly, unsure of how to feel about seeing her again.  She hadn’t seen any of the Bearers since sending them away from her home several nights ago, come to think of it “What’s she doing up there?”  Spike wondered aloud, cutting into her own thoughts. Vinyl adjusted her shades.  “Trying to one-up Trixie.”  Spike glanced at her inquisitively.  “You see, her and a couple other loud mouths have been heckling throughout the whole show.” “Really?”  Twilight asked.  That’s not the behavior I would expect from a would-be Bearer of an Element.  Weird… “Yeah, but don’t worry.  I’m willing to bet serious bits that Trixie’ll put her in her place.”  Vinyl grinned, causing Twilight some slight intrigue.  She certainly seemed confident in the showpony’s abilities. Applejack jumped through her lasso hoop a few times, and swung it through the air in a grandiose finish.  As her routine ended, she took a slight bow as the audience cheered. Trixie was unfazed, and her horn sparked to life.  Twilight watched as Applejack’s lasso rose into the air, swaying back and forth.  It then whipped over, plucking an apple from a nearby tree, while slinking around Applejack’s legs.  She was flipped over, her cry of surprise interrupted as the apple was shoved in her mouth.   “Hah!”  Vinyl laughed, clapping Twilight on the back.  “She sure showed her!” “Yeah,” Twilight replied, hardly impressed by a basic levitation spell. As Applejack hobbled offstage in humiliation, a new pony flew up to take her place.  Twilight felt a spark of recognition for her as well, but Spike beat her to the punch. “Hey, I think that’s Rainbow Dash.” Vinyl leaned over.  “Another heckler.  Probably gonna get what she deserves too.” As Rainbow Dash flew into the air, Twilight’s eyebrow rose as she pondered Vinyl’s statement.  Her acquaintance seemed to be taking a bizarre delight in this. In only a few seconds Rainbow Dash was finished, her stunts leaving the audience cheering and a faint rainbow hanging over her head.  Vinyl however focused more on Trixie, waiting for her follow-up. With a smirk, Trixie shot a beam of magic at the rainbow, causing it to swirl violently around Rainbow Dash.  It flung her around in a multi-colored tornado before depositing her dizzy-headed on the ground. Twilight’s eyebrows shot up at the display.  “What?  How?” Vinyl smirked.  “She sure showed her.” “Kinda overkill if you ask me,” Spike remarked. “Psh, overkill is underrated.” “That’s… not possible.”  Twilight gaped.  “Rainbows aren’t tangible… how did she—” “Is there anypony else who dares to challenge The Great and Powerful Trixie?”  Trixie smugly looked over the crowd of ponies as a few murmurs rolled through.  “Well, since nopony else is foolish enough to try, it appears Trixie’s show has come to an end.”  She flung both of her hooves into the air, a motley of fireworks erupting behind her.  “You may begin showering her with adoration!” Cheering erupted from the townspeople as they stomped their hooves in glee.  Vinyl followed suit, while Twilight slipped into her thoughts, still stuck on the tangible rainbow. The applause died down shortly after, and the crowd ambled off.  A few ponies brushed past Twilight, but she barely focused on them.  She was forced back to reality, however, when Vinyl grabbed her foreleg. “Hey, let’s go meet her.” Twilight blinked and glanced towards the stage.  Her path of vision was much less cluttered now, and she could make out a fair number of ponies near the front, likely heaping on praise. She tugged at the hoof locked in Vinyl’s gasp.  “I don’t know…” “Aw, come on, Smart Mare.  Don’t you want to meet another unicorn who’s good at magic?  You guys might become buddies.” Twilight squinted at her. Vinyl rolled her eyes.  “Fine, acquaintances.  So you wanna meet her?” “Well, I am curious how she did that trick with the rainbow.” “Great.”  Vinyl yanked her forward, tugging on her splint slightly. “Hey, wait for me!” Spike called out, giving chase. Propelled by Vinyl’s enthusiasm, they made it to the stage in a few seconds.  Almost all of the ponies had ambled off by then, save two small kids. “Wow Trixie, that was amazing!”  One of them, small blue colt, exclaimed. “It’s The Great and Powerful Trixie,” the performer retorted. A mustard colored colt spoke up.  “Sorry Miss Great and Powerful.  Oh, can you tell us again about the time you vanquished an Ursa Major?” So that’s what Vinyl was talking about.  Twilight thought, realizing the DJ mistook the famous star pattern for an ancient beast over twenty stories tall. “As much as The Great and Powerful Trixie would love to recount her heroic deeds, she finds herself growing weary of this conversation.  Off with you.” “But—” “The lady said beat it,” Vinyl quipped. The two colts flinched at the sudden voice behind them, and slowly turned their heads.  When they saw Vinyl behind them, they stumbled into each other, and then ran off. “Geeze,” Spike muttered.  “Those guys seemed annoying.” Trixie flipped her hair, seemingly happy to be rid of them as well.  Her eyebrow raised when she saw the three of them, as if she expected them to have left already.  “Yes?” Vinyl maneuvered her shades over her horn.  “Uh, hey.”  She cleared her throat.  “‘Sup.  I’m Vinyl, this is Smart Mare.” “Twilight,” she quickly amended.  “Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie’s eyelids lowered.  “The Great and Powerful Trixie didn’t ask.” Vinyl chuckled.  “You know, you’re not performing anymore, you can drop the act.” Trixie scoffed.  Loudly.  “How dare you make such insinuations.  The Great and Powerful Trixie’s persona is not an act.” “Oh, so you’re one of the method acting types who never breaks characters.  Cool.” Trixie growled lowly.  “What do you want?” “I just wanted to tell you that I thought your show was pretty cool.  Sorry you got heckled though; I know that ain’t fun.” Trixie pursed her lips, eyes darting to the ground and back up again.  Eventually she flicked her head up and smirked.  “Humph, The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t worry about such petty trite.  It is beneath her.” “Oh.”  Vinyl pressed her lips together, before nudging Twilight forward.  “Also, she had a question.” Trixie shifted her gaze to Twilight, eyebrow rising.  Twilight swallowed, hating being put on the spot like this.  “I uh… just wanted to know how you managed to transmute refracted light into a solid enough substance to forcibly disorient Rainbow Dash.” After a pause, Trixie cleared her throat.  “What?” “She’s asking how you did that rainbow-tornado trick,” Spike clarified. Another pause, this time Trixie ended it by giggling.  “Surely you cannot expect Trixie to explain her tricks?  She is a magician and a magician never reveals her secrets. Besides—” she looked over Twilight “—your feeble mind could not possibly comprehend it.” Feeble?  Twilight’s stomach boiled.  “No, I’m pretty sure I can—” “Whatever, Trixie doesn’t care.”  She wrinkled her nose, as if the mere acting of talking to Twilight was disgusting.  Either that, or it was her breath.  In fact, given that she couldn’t remember when she last brushed her teeth, it probably was her breath. Twilight ground her teeth together and prepared a retort, bad breath or not.  Unfortunately, she never got a chance to fling it at the mare before her. “Hey, why don’t we give her some space, sound good Smart Mare?”  Vinyl hopped in between them, hoping to defuse the tension. “I think that’s a great idea,” Spike chimed in.  “The further we get from her the better.”  Trixie scoffed indignantly. Twilight wanted to protest, but suddenly remembered all the work she still had waiting for her at home.  The full weight of it set in, as exhaustion washed over her.  She didn’t have the time, nor the energy to argue with a random showpony. “Okay, fine.” “A'ight, cool.”  Vinyl slid her shades back over her face and tipped her head toward Trixie.  “Later.” Trixie didn’t offer a response, other than sticking up her nose, rolling her eyes, and turning around with a flourish of her cape. “That was… actually infuriating,” Twilight said as they walked away. “Agreed.” “Aw, come on guys, she wasn’t that bad.”  Vinyl trotted ahead slightly.  “I mean, I know she was acting pretty stuck up, but I think it was understandable.” “Understandable?” Spike gave a sharp laugh.  “She was a jerk.” “She was not!” A nasally voice shouted.   Turning, Twilight saw the two colts from earlier, looking angrily at Spike. The yellow one stepped forward.  “You take that back right now.  The Great and Powerful Trixie is the most talented unicorn in Equestria!” Spike rolled his eyes.  “You two can’t seriously think she’s all that.” “Can too!  She defeated an Ursa Major all by herself.  That proves it!” “Grr, no it doesn’t.”  Spike took a step toward the two colts, and their argument quickly devolved into bickering. “Yeesh, looks like that could go on for a while,” Vinyl remarked. “Yeah, and just when I need to be getting home too.”  Twilight yawned before she could force down the desire to. “Sounds like you could use a nap.” “I’m fine,” Twilight grumbled.  She quickly chose a new topic of conversation.  “So why were you so tolerant of Trixie?  Were you too dense to see her annoying arrogance?” Vinyl gave a sharp laugh.  “No, no, I’m not that dense, Smart Mare.” Eh… that’s debatable.  “Okay, but then why were you not peeved in the slightest?  She was being downright rude.” “Yeah, she was, but it was all just an act, trust me.” Twilight skeptically raised her eyebrow.  “Really?” “Yeah, really.  I mean, you missed most of it, but that heckling was pretty rough.”  Vinyl lowered her head, ears folding down.  “I don’t blame her for acting like it doesn’t bug her.” Blinking, Twilight took in the sudden attitude change.  In the short — yet arguably too long time — that she’d known Vinyl, this was the first time she looked anything other than bombastically happy.  “Uh… is something wrong?” “I just hate it when ponies hound performers, y’know?  It’s a pet peeve of mine.” Twilight pursed her lips.  “Let me guess, past trauma?” she asked sarcastically.   “Trauma?  Nah, but I have been bashed a few times.” Great, don’t tell me I’ll have try and solve your emotional problems too.  Derpy and Lyra were enough, thank you very much.  Twilight opened her mouth to voice the complaint, only to find Vinyl wasn’t finished talking yet. She adjusted her shades.  “It was rough at first, but you get used to it after a while.  You kinda have to.  Getting heckled is a lot like using sandpaper as toilet paper.  Hurts a lot at first, but eventually you get so numb that you can’t even tell you’re supposed to be in pain.” Twilight squinted.  “Uh…” Vinyl snorted.  “Yeah, that was pretty bad, but you get the idea, right?” “That I should never ask to borrow toilet paper from you?” “Ha ha,” she deadpanned.  “Look, I can tell Trixie’s a little new to the performing world, but I think she’ll be fine.  She just needs to cut down on the whole arrogant and annoying shtick.” “She’s not the only one,” Twilight muttered under her breath.  “But I guess that would make her more tolerable.”  Vinyl nodded. As their conversation stopped short there, Spike’s debate reemerged from the background noise. “Well, The Great and Powerful Trixie defeated an Ursa Major, so that proves that she’s the best unicorn in Equestria!”  The two colts hoof-bumped, celebrating what they thought was a victory. Spike groaned.  “Did you two see her beat an Ursa Major?” They froze.  “Uh, well, no… but…” “Then there isn’t any proof, is there?”  Spike folded his arms, daring the colts to challenge his logic. Twilight sighed, ready to leave.  “Okay, Spike, I think that’s a good place to wrap it up.” He turned, a grin on his face.  “Sure thing, Twilight.” “Wait!” The blue colt cried out.  Twilight groaned.  “So you’re saying if you see her defeat an Ursa Major, you’ll believe she’s the best unicorn in all of Equestria?” Spike shrugged.  “I guess, but the odds that I’ll ever see that are—” “Come on, Snails!”  The two colts bolted, leaving Spike to cough on the dust they kicked up. “Weird kids,” Vinyl commented, watching them become specks on the horizon. Twilight rolled her eyes.  “Whatever, let’s just go, Spike.” “Sounds good to me.”  He walked forward, heading for the library. “Bye, Vinyl.” “Later, Smart Mare.  Be sure to take a nap.”  Vinyl sniffed, and winced.  “And you might want to try some mouthwash while you’re at it.” Twilight groaned again, but kept her mouth shut.  She trotted after Spike, not looking back. A stinging mint flavor filled Twilight’s mouth as she ran a toothbrush along her molars.  After a few more seconds, she pulled it away, and spat into the sink, rinsed out her toothbrush, and wiped her mouth.   All right, moment of truth.  She shot two short breaths at her hoof, and pulled it close before sniffing softly.  Wintergreen mint was the only scent she could detect. “Finally,” she breathed with a soft sigh.  Ten brushings well worth it.  She rubbed her eyes, as yet another yawn forced its way out of her mouth.   Weariness was pecking away at her conscious, and it had only gotten worse as the day progressed.  She’d barely been able to comb through some of Celestia’s letters when she got home with her eyelids constantly drooping into her field of vision.  Now, in the late evening, she was finally on the verge of admitting defeat. As she stepped out of the bathroom, her eyes lazily glanced over to her bed.  It beckoned her with its soft sheets and inviting pillows, promising her more comfort than the table she’d used in her previous forays into unconsciousness. No… have to keep working… She glanced at the bed once more and the last of her resolve evaporated. ...maybe just five minutes. Not having enough energy to keep going, Twilight resolved herself to slumber.  She swayed slightly as she walked to her bed, eyes half-open.  Brushing the covers aside, she climbed in and ensconced herself among the sheets. Her head touched the pillow. And then she heard the door downstairs slam open. “Smart Mare!”  A frantic voice called out.  “We got a problem here!” “No…”  Twilight pressed her face into the pillow.  “Not now.” She heard the hooffalls pound against the floor as Vinyl clamored up the stairs.  The door to her bedroom flew open a second later. “Smart Mare!  Problem!  Help!  Now!” Twilight’s ears folded down.  “Vinyl, if this is some sort of superfluous, DJ-related trite—” “It’s not.  I swear on the sun and the tribalist princess who controls it that it’s not.” Shifting under her covers she shot a look at Vinyl.  “Then what is it?” “It’s a freaking constellation bear, that’s what!” Twilight rocketed up.  “An Ursa Major?” Vinyl nodded, biting her lip.  “Yeah… that.” Forcing the covers off, Twilight leapt out of her bed.  “What?  But, what is it doing here?  Why—” A deafening roar interrupted her barrage of questions, followed by the crunch of wood.  Twilight cringed, imagining the destruction that just took place.  Muffled screams shortly followed. “Yeah, it’s hit the fan out there.  I’m kinda hoping there’s something you can do.” Twilight blinked, jaw falling open.  “Me?  Why me?” Vinyl shrugged.  “I don’t call you Smart Mare for nothing.  I’m kinda hoping you can come up with a plan while I drag you outside.” “While you what?”   Vinyl hooked her hoof around Twilight’s and yanked.  They flew down the stairs, Twilight’s hooves dragging the whole way.  When the two of them reached the bottom floor they were  greeted by Spike staring out an open door. As he heard them approach, he turned around.  “Twilight, did you see?  It’s a—” “I heard, Spike.  Stay inside all right?”  Twilight asked as she slid past him. “What about you?” She didn’t have time to respond before Vinyl dragged her out the door.  Turning her head, Twilight’s pupils shrunk with shock. Lumbering through Ponyville, its head reaching above even the tallest buildings, was the most massive creature she’d ever seen.  It’s fur was a translucent blue and it sported a star pattern on the back half of its body.  With another thundering roar, it bared its teeth and crunched half of a building under its monstrous paw. “So, uh… you got that plan I asked for?” A lump formed in Twilight’s throat.  The gears of her brain whirred as they struggled to move through the exhaustion that still fogged her mind.  “Uh… um… er...” “That’s a horrible plan!”  Vinyl cried. “Be quiet, I’m trying to think!”  Twilight’s eyes shot back and forth, hoping something nearby would give her an idea.  That’s when a screaming, fleeing Trixie ran right into her line of sight, followed by two familiar colts. “Tri— er, The Great and Powerful Trixie, wait!  Where are you going?” “Don’t you wanna fight the Ursa Major?” Vinyl jumped in front of them, forcing Trixie to skid to a stop.  “Whoa, whoa, guys what the heck is going on here?” Trixie sucked in air, winded from running away in panic.  “Snips and Snails, or whatever their dumb names are.”  She pointed to the colts.  “They brought that monster here and put Trixie’s life in jeopardy!” “We just wanted to see you defeat an Ursa Major like you said you could.” Trixie whirled around at them.  “I… I can’t.” “Uh, why not?”  Vinyl asked, eyebrow arched.  “I mean, you beat one before right?  And Smart Mare’s brain’s kinda put us on hold, so you’re Ponyville’s only hope right now.”  Twilight bit her tongue, too busy thinking to retort. Sweat formed at the top of Trixie’s forehead.  “B-But… why should Trixie risk her life for all of you?” “Because you’re not a terrible pony?” Vinyl offered.  Another building snapped under the Ursa’s grasp. She ground her teeth.  “That’s not what Trixie meant.” “But you’re the most talented unicorn in Equestria,” Snips pleaded.  “How is fighting an Ursa Major risking your life?” “Because…”  Trixie bit her lip, beads of sweat rolling past her cheek. “Because why?” Vinyl yelled. “Because I lied, all right?”  Everypony froze.  For a moment, the only sounds were the Ursa stomping through buildings as if they were papier-mâché. Vinyl lowered her shades.  “What?” Trixie sighed.  “I… I made everything up, okay?  I’ve never even seen an Ursa Major until tonight, and it’s… it’s terrifying.  I almost threw up when these two idiots brought it to my wagon.  And even if I wasn’t scared, there’s no way my magic could defeat it.” Twilight finally gave up thinking between all the noise. “Why not? You seemed pretty powerful when I met you. You even made rainbows solid for pony’s sake, not even I can do that.” “It was fake!” Trixie cried.  “All of it.  My talent is for illusion magic.  That and a little telekinesis and I make it seem like anything happened.” So that’s how— Another ear shattering roar from the Ursa cut off her thoughts.  “Gah!  Why does it have to be so loud!” Wait…  Twilight turned to face the group.  “Everypony, I think I know of a way to send the Ursa back to its home in the Everfree.” “Oh thank Celestia!”  Trixie cried. “How?” Vinyl asked. “Look, under ideal circumstances, I’d just lift the Ursa back to its home, but I’m too exhausted for that level of telekinesis, so we need another way to drive it out.”  She looked at Vinyl.  “And I know just the sound that would make anything want to leave Ponyville as fast as possible.” A maniacal grin broke out on the DJ’s face.  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” “Unfortunately yes.  Vinyl: get me the loudest possible music you have.” “Heck yeah!”  Vinyl hoof pumped the air.  After receiving a stern look from Twilight, however, she quickly dropped her hoof and dashed off to her house. “And Trixie.”  Twilight turned to the magician, whose face was buried under her cloak in shame. “What?” she mumbled. “I need your help too.” “What?” “If you could use your illusions to distract the Ursa and lead him to the edge of town, that would be a massive help.” “...What?” Twilight sighed.  “Listen Trixie, we have to stop the Ursa without risking the lives of the townsponies.  Your illusions can help, so please.” Trixie glanced from her to the ground.  “A-all right… I’ll try.” Offering her a smile Twilight nodded her thanks.  “Good, now hurry!” Igniting her horn, Trixie whirled around, her cloak fluttering behind her.  She gave a hesitant look at the massive beast lumbering through town before kicking up some dirt and charging for it. “What about us?”  Twilight turned to the two colts.  They glanced up at her with eager smiles. “You two have a very important job that I need you to do.” “Really?” Snails asked. Twilight leaned forward, and they followed suit.  “What I need you to do is really important, okay?”  They nodded.  “Are you sure you can handle it?”  They nodded again.  “Good, now it’s really easy.  All you have to do is go home!” They flinched at the extra severity of her voice.  Stumbling back, they collided into each other.  Quickly recovering, the two of them turned and bolted. Twilight sighed with relief when they were gone.  A new yawn attempted to force its way out, but she beat it down.  As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t afford falling asleep now.  That would have to wait. She trotted around, not willing to leave the library’s vicinity in case Vinyl got back early.  Several ponies were scrambling around hysterically.  Most were shouting, but a few were just cowering in the fetal position, offering occasional whimpers of defeat. Celestia forbid this town ever has a real emergency.  Not that a giant bear was something to sneeze at, but at the same time it was just one creature, and given that Ponyville was so close to The Everfree Forest Twilight had assumed they had some contingency plans for this sort of thing. “All right everypony!”  she shouted, her vocal chords straining.  The frenzy before her showed no signs of letting up.  She sighed and sucked in another breath.  “HEY, EVERYPONY, LISTEN UP!” That time it worked.  Amidst the flying debris of buildings and shrieking townsfolk, her message broke through the thick skulls of a good number of ponies.  They jerked to a stop, putting their panic on hold.   As heads slowly swiveled in her direction, Twilight bit the inside of her cheek.  “Okay, I’ve already put a plan into motion to drive the Ursa out of Ponyville, but I need all of you to start moving as far away from the edge of town as possible, got it?” “Who even are you?”  A random pony called out. Twilight frowned.  “Somepony who doesn’t want to die, now do what I say or just make it easy for the Ursa and walk right into his mouth.” That did it.  Everypony turned and ran toward Town Hall and the east section of Ponyville.  As the flood of ponies ran past her she turned back around to check on the Ursa. Only to see a giant steak floating in the middle of town. Twilight blinked and rubbed her eyes.  It was still there. “What?”  Maybe I needed to sleep more than I thought. The Ursa had spotted it too, only it was much less confused than Twilight.  It leapt forward, attempting to snap its jaws around the gravity-defying slab of meat, only to find that it levitated out of its grasp. In the interstice between two buildings, Twilight spotted Trixie, her horn blazing a pink aura. “That’s right Ursa, follow the steak!” she cried before vanishing behind another building.  The steak followed, with the Ursa clamoring after it. Oh right… illusions.  “Hey, Smart Mare, got the stuff.”  Twilight turned, eyes falling upon Vinyl’s rolling turntables. “Good, good.  Are they ready to go?” “Uh, well no.  They kinda need to be plugged in to work, and there aren’t any outlets around.” Twilight grinned.  “Leave that to me, but first we need to catch up to the Ursa.” “A’ight.  Oh, and before I forget, here.”  Vinyl tossed Twilight something.  She reached out with her magic, catching it before it could whack her in the snout.  As she got a better look in the low light, she realized they were the noise cancelling headphones Octavia had the other day. She smiled.  “Thanks Vinyl.” “No prob.  Well, minor prob; I didn’t really ask Tavi for permission to take them, so you may have a bit of explaining to do if she sees you wearing them.” Twilight rolled her eyes.  “Just push your equipment over to the Ursa.” “Can do.”  Vinyl lit up her own horn, enveloping the back half of her turntables in a blue glow.  The wheels squeaked as she pushed forward, aiming for the edge of town.  Twilight hurried after her. As they approached Trixie and the Ursa, Twilight saw that the illusion-steak was on its last legs.  It was already shimmering out of existence as Trixie’s magic buckled under the strain of performing the spell. The Ursa looked rather disheveled as his meal faded from existence.  Hungry and angry, it focused on Trixie, growling. “Uh… heh, nice Ursa Major…”  Trixie backed up, ears folding down.  “G-good boy.” Twilight put the headphones on, grabbed the tiny plug hooked up to the turntables, and ignited her horn.  She poured every ounce of magic she had into the wiring and it blasted through the circuitry.   “Vinyl, now!” she cried. Vinyl flipped her sound system on, and all but slammed the needle on the records.  Twilight heard absolutely nothing, but her entire body vibrated as the air pulsated from the music.  She saw Trixie fall to the ground, holding her ears, and the Ursa roar in agony. It raised its massive paw, aiming for Vinyl.  Twilight amped up the amount of magic she was already pouring into the system, and she felt her bones rattle as the sound increased in volume. The Ursa shrieked in pain, and dropped its paw.  It turned straight for the Everfree and took off running.  Trees were brushed aside as it charged through, but Twilight didn’t release her spell until she could no longer see its head. The instant her magic cut out, her body stopped shaking.  She slowly removed the headphones and her ears opened up to the sound of Vinyl whooping and hollering.  Suddenly she found the DJ wrapping her hooves around her. “That was freaking amazing, Twilight!”  Vinyl shouted.  “Haha, seriously, you’ve gotta start coming to my gigs to help me reach that level again.” “I’ll uh… I’ll pass,” Twilight said as the hug ended. Vinyl sighed, but her smile didn’t leave.  “Well, you can lead a pony to turn tables, but you can’t make her wub it.”  She trotted over to Trixie, who was currently enjoying a faceful of dirt.  “Need some help?” “Trixie would appreciate it.” “Back to talking in third pony, I see.”  Vinyl bent down and lifted Trixie up. “I— er, Trixie talks however she wants.”  She dusted herself off, and looked away.  “Thank you for saving Trixie’s life… she guesses.” Vinyl grinned.  “Welcome, but you should really thank Smart Mare over there.” Trixie turned, nodding her head to Twilight.  “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” Trixie offered a tight-lipped smile.  “Trixie should probably go back and check her wagon to see if there were any damages to it.” “Probably a good idea.”  Vinyl waved goodbye as she walked off and then trotted over to Twilight.  “See, I told you she had a heart of gold.” “You never used those specific words to describe her.” “Semantics.” Twilight sighed.  “Well, at the very least she did help get rid of the Ursa Minor.” “Ursa Major.” “No, just Minor.  You could tell it was an infant because the star pattern wasn’t fully formed.” Vinyl snickered.  “Whatever, Smart Mare, it doesn’t matter.” “Well, it matters to me.” “Okay, okay, sorry.  Oh and uh, thanks for saving the town, and junk.”  Vinyl kicked the ground.  “That was pretty cool and all.” “You helped too, Vinyl, don’t count yourself out.”  Twilight smiled, then yawned.  “But now, I have some bad news.” “What?” “You’re going to have to carry me home.”   Vinyl pursed her lips in confusion, but didn’t have any time to respond.  Twilight’s last vestige of wakefulness gave out, and her legs buckled as she slipped into unconsciousness.  Vinyl caught her just before she hit the ground. “Nice, Smart Mare.  Real nice.” Vinyl trudged through the door of the library, a snoring Twilight Sparkle in her forelegs.  The lights were mostly out, save the one lamp in the middle of the room.  Sitting in the chair next to it, was Spike, who hopped up when he heard the door open. His eyes widened when he saw Twilight.  “Oh my Celestia, what happened?”   “Chill man, she’s just sleepy is all.  Let’s just get her to bed.” Spike breathed a sigh of relief.  “Thank goodness.” Spike grabbed one of Twilight’s forelegs, and Vinyl hoisted up the other.  They slowly carried her up the stairs, her back hooves dragging the entire time. “So, what exactly happened?” Spike asked. “It’s a long story, pal.  A long story that involves giant flying meat, and dubstep.” “Huh?” “Exactly.” They reached Twilight’s room.  Spike opened the door, and held out another claw, silently offering to carry Twilight the rest of the way. “You sure, dude?” Vinyl asked. “I’m pretty sure I can carry her all of two feet to her bed.  Besides, I’m sure you have somewhere you need to be.” “Well I did leave my stuff in the middle of town.”  Vinyl paused, and then glanced to the door.  “Probably should do something about that.” “Okay, well, goodnight.” “Night, Dragon Dude.”  Vinyl trotted down the stairs. As she descended, she noticed a bright light coming from the next set of stairs leading over to the basement.  It was so bright she had to squint as she cleared the last few steps.  Out of blunt curiosity, she looked down to see what was causing the light. Near the bottom of the stairs, she saw a table that held the Elements of Harmony.  Three of them were completely dim, and two more were sparkling.  The last one was glowing in a brilliant display of light, which had reached its peak and begun to soften.  When its light was far milder, it began sparkling in sync with the other two active Elements. Vinyl shrugged and turned around.  “Whatever.”