//------------------------------// // Chapter Five: Applejack // Story: Nice Catch // by Night Princess //------------------------------// "Applejack! You simply can't go on your date when you're all sweaty. Stop apple bucking and try on your dress!" She ignored Rarity and continued hitting trees with her hind legs. "Few more trees." Rarity frowned and, using her unicorn magic, grabbed hold of Applejack's tail and dragged her into her boutique.  "Ah just want to get a bit more work done!" Applejack struggled as Rarity began to dress her. "You're messy enough as it is!" Rarity dressed the earth pony in a simple green dress lined in short, brown fringe. "What will your date say?" The orange pony pulled on her cowboy boots. "If he's mah perfect match like the Princess says, he'll understand that Ah need to get mah work done." Rarity rolled her eyes. "I doubt he'll be as perfect as that." Applejack straightened her hat and stood up. "Is it time yet?" The white unicorn glanced at the clock. "Good gracious, you're late. Hurry!" Applejack ran out the door towards the Town Square, where some sort event was underway. "You're late." She turned around and saw a grey stallion with an expertly styled, silver mane. "Howdy there, Hoity Toity! That's yer name, ain't it? Gosh, it's been a long time since that fashion show Rarity hosted." He silently eyed her outfit and raised his eyebrows. "Who designed that?" "Mah friend Rarity. She's the one who did-" "Isn't she the same mare who designed those monstrosities she called dresses?" "Those were the ones we helped with. We're not the best with fashion, ya know?" Hoity Toity turned his nose up and turned around to watch whatever was behind him.  Applejack stood on her back legs to see over the heads of ponies standing in front of her.  A catwalk was set up, and several lights were shining on it. Ponies dressed in extremely strange costumes and outfits were trotting down it and posing for pictures. "As the Princess commanded me to play the role of your date-" Hoity Toity made it sound like torture. "-I have arranged for you to star in my fashion show." "That's mighty kind of you, but Ah would rather not." The gray stallion whipped off his sunglasses and looked her in the eye. "I didn't say you had a choice." Applejack grimaced, but followed him until they reached a platform behind the catwalk, hidden from the audience's view. As soon as Applejack entered the backstage, several mates surrounded her and began applying makeup and fussing with her hair. "This outfit simply won't do," Hoity Toity sniffed. "Put her in something else."   For the second time that day, Applejack was dressed against her will. She was put into an obnoxious chartreuse gown covered in purple and orange triangles. A hat that closely resembled a slice of Swiss cheese was placed on her head. The moment she was dressed she was pushed onto the catwalk.  "Go! Pose!" Hoity Toity nudged her. "Ah give in way, way too easily," she muttered as she started trotting. When she reached the end she lifted two legs in the air as a pose. Cameras flashed and ponies cheered. Then a horrible image came to mind. She, Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres, forced to be a supermodel as her friend Fluttershy once was. She would never buck another apple, never have time for her family or friends. She had to stop their enjoyment. The audience had to hate her as a model. She ripped off the clothes and began to do the most annoying thing she could think of: dance. She tapped an Irish step, imitated a breakdance she saw Pinkie Pie do once, and did the only dance she truly knew, the square dance. The ponies in the audience fell silent as Applejack danced to the music playing in the background. She even grabbed Hoity Toity and pulled him into a ballroom dance. "What in Equestria do you think you're doing?" he growled. "Making sure Ah never have to come back," Applejack replied.  After being whipped around and twirled, her date screamed. "Security!" Two huge stallions in uniforms pulled Applejack away from Hoity and off the stage.  "Are you drunk?" One asked her in a rough voice. "'Course not, sir, Ah was just embarrassing mahself so the ponies hate me as a model and Ah don't have to do it again. Ah'm sorry, honest." "I don't blame you. If I had to wear a cheese hat, I'd do the same thing. Good luck with not becoming a model, though. Seems like the audience lived you." Applejack looked up and saw the audience, cheering with delight. Most of them had never seen a dancer of such talent. "Applejack! Applejack!" they chanted, screaming for more. "Gotta dash," she said, galloping away from her new fans. ### When she returned to the library, she noticed that Twilight was pouring over her books and running around frantically. There was nothing unusual about that, except for the fact that the usually calm unicorn was screaming.  "Twilight, what in the hay is going on?" Twilight turned to her friend. "Applejack! Was it disastrous? Or really, really, really, really, really disastrous?" "Just disastrous. What's goin' on?" "The dates! Think about it, Applejack! If these dates go absolutely terribly horribly wrong, or if the stallions decide they still like us and want to meet us again, our entire lives will be ruined! After dates, Luna could arrange weddings! And what then? We'll be forced to have kids and go on trips with them and spend our whole lives suffering!" "Don't ya think you're going a mite far?" "No! It could very possibly come true! My calculations say that there's a seventy-four point six chance that it will happen if we don't do anything!" "So...what's yer plan?" Twilight held up a book entitled, "How to Say No to a Date in less than Five Sentences".  "We just refuse!" "We can't just refuse. The princess will be insulted." "What's more important, her feelings or our future? Not to mention my sanity!" Twilight continued pacing and flipping through her book while Applejack silently facehoofed. It couldn't possibly go that wrong. She was pretty sure.