//------------------------------// // Accepting the Past // Story: Cutie Mark Wishes // by Silver Letter //------------------------------// As the months passed, spring turned to summer, and the nights were hot and sticky. Ribbon had learned a few new things in the new season. She was good at finding her way around in the dark. She would sometimes wear the same clothes two days in a row. But most of all, she didn’t mind any of it because she wasn’t afraid of the dark or the colt that worked at the café. She couldn’t learn enough about him and all of the quirks in his personality. The café was just a part-time job. He also went to school to study weather technology so they spent most time together at night. She didn’t mind spending the night with a heavy sleeper. In the dark of his apartment, nothing could make him stir. He ended up being the first pony outside of her family and Twilight to learn that she didn’t have a cutie mark. His own cutie mark story helped her open up. It was hard to picture a little colt at ten years old making his own little weather machine strong enough to make its own tropical storm clouds that drenched everything from the ceiling fans to the floorboards. The only bad thing was that with the room nearly impenetrable to light, Ribbon’s body was usually fooled. She would wake up late and if she wanted to meet a friend, she would miss them. It was one of those days and she got dressed as fast as she could without killing herself in the process. She went outside had shook a few grey feathers that were stuck to her dress. It was interesting how Pegasus ponies loved to hug with their wings. She checked her watch. It was 10:30. This wasn’t just a meeting with a friend. Twilight was waiting for her at the castle and she was going to get an earful for sure about punctuality but she was more worried about her sisters. It was going to be their fourth phone call together. They’ve done it a few times. Twilight said that they were opening up lines of communication. It made sense as nopony would be able to take control over the phone, especially with Twilight listening in and able to interject whenever she wished. It was a completely different experience to be able to speak to Crystal on what could be called equal terms. Her voice was sometimes strained but she never raised her voice or even spoke out of turn. Ribbon was skeptical that she would do anything but bring up some nonstarter argument like her coming home immediately. There wasn’t any heavy breakthrough; talk was mostly about how work was doing or Ribbon’s life in the castle. Each time did more to lead them closer to real progress and she had hoped that the fourth talk would get to the real issue. Her place in the family. But she just had to be late of all days. She was mad at herself and galloped to the castle as fast as she could. When she finally arrived, she saw Glitter walking away from the main entrance. Ribbon was two and a half hours late. It took a few seconds for Glitter to recognize Ribbon in her dress. They went up to each other and embraced. After, Glitter’s muzzle crinkled as if she smelled something bad but she didn’t mention it. Positive Charge tended to smoke and the smell sort of clung to her dress and to everything in his apartment. It was one of the few things she disliked about him so she understood Glitter’s reaction. It was impossible for a mare that grew up in the country to tolerate the smell of smoke for long. She tried to make him use fresheners to get rid of it but he often forgot since he was gone so often. “I’m so happy to see you,” Glitter said. “I’m glad you came but I didn’t expect a visit so soon,” Ribbon replied. “You weren’t there for our phone call so I decided to come and check up on you personally. Twilight told me just now that you’ve been out,” Glitter said. “I’m sorry. I got up late after I spent the night over at somepony’s house. But I really wanted to speak to you all.” Ribbon wasn’t sure how Glitter was going to respond. She was the middle sister and often expressed both concern and enthusiasm for everything that Ribbon did. And the concern she did have was of a different nature than what the others had. Lavender was overly sappy and Crystal hardly let her feelings out if she really had much at all. “I can tell you’re doing your best,” Glitter said softly. She smiled, a mare very proud of what her little sister was doing. Living in a castle. Making new friends. Ribbon wasn’t that surprised. They were always on the same side, it seemed. Even when they were foals. “I would like to ask something of you.” “What would that be?” She sighed as if unsure whether to ask or not. “Um…maybe it’s too soon. I was going to do it during our talk today but you didn’t show. I was wondering if we could meet for lunch sometime. Maybe catch up?” To Ribbon, the idea of eating lunch with her sounded delightful. It’s been so long and even Positive Charge wasn’t enough on his own to fill the void that she used to fill. “Glitter, I can’t wait for our little date,” she said, giggling. Glitter laughed and rubbed a hoof against Ribbon’s cheek. “That’s grand. Be sure to be there on time though…or I’ll just have to find you.” After one last embrace, Glitter headed home. Ribbon watched her until she was gone. She was so very excited and pleased at the same time at the prospect of seeing her in the near future. She even practically skipped to the castle. In her room, she bathed then changed her clothes into something light and airy. She had been thinking more and more about Cheerilee lately. A lot of times, the mare would be on her mind before she fell asleep or when she was walking around town and she spotted her walking with Big Mac. They were always very close, touching each other often on the shoulder or holding hooves. At least from a distance, it didn’t look like they had any sort of trouble. Ribbon remembered that it was those kinds of relationships that aren’t always in the best of situations. When others had seen her, it must have looked like she was part of a trio of sisters perfectly in sync when out in the streets. Nopony could have guessed otherwise. Ribbon pondered what Cheerilee wanted help with those months ago. The idea of going to her house was still on the table. To be honest, she had decided a while ago and she was just coming up with excuses to justify going. The biggest one was that Cheerilee was a friend and Ribbon should do everything she could for one. After getting ready, Ribbon left at once for the teacher’s house. She didn’t bother going to see Twilight. The princess was probably busy elsewhere. Was it wrong for her to want to get involved? What if they had already dealt with their problem? What if it wasn’t really a problem at all? What Cheerilee mentioned was something about the future and the future was always vague, especially to her. But she kept going forward despite knowing that she had no crystal ball anymore and no desire to pretend to have powers she didn’t have. But nopony needed powers to talk and that was all she could offer. She just hoped that Cheerilee wouldn’t be disappointed. Cheerilee had a little flower garden outside her house. It wasn’t much but a one story dwelling with white paint and a brick chimney sticking out of the thatched roof. It all looked well-tended which surprised Ribbon. She thought that teachers always spent the majority of their time working rather than on things like gardening. Ribbon knocked on the door. Practically holding her breath, she waited for it to be answered. Cheerilee did and was taken aback by the unexpected guest at her doorstep. She held a plate and a towel in her hoof as if in the middle of drying dishes. “Oh, Ribbon Wishes….uh…please….come in,” she stammered. A huge grin grew on her face as she ushered Ribbon in. “I am sorry for showing up out of the blue like this,” Ribbon said. She rubbed her hooves on the mat before going in. She reflexively smiled. “Nonsense. I said you could come over anytime. Unless I’m working. No point coming to an empty house!” Cheerilee said, laughing. They went to the living room and both sat down in chairs. There were photos everywhere. Cheerilee was alone in many but a few photos of her with Big Mac were clustered on one of the smaller lamp tables. “You have a lot of photos of him,” Ribbon mentioned, gesturing to the photos. “Yes, he’s truly special to me,” Cheerilee said softly. She then got up suddenly. “Oh, dear. I forgot it’s hot out. You must be thirsty. Do you like lemonade?” “Uh, lemonade is fine.” She nodded and went to fetch some of it. Ribbon examined the rest of the photos. Many were of Cheerilee with foals, most likely students. They always looked close and always smiling, hugging and holding. Cheerilee returned and set the glasses down. “Ribbon, is something on your mind?” Ribbon turned around. “I was just admiring your students.” The mare chuckled. “Sorry, I always tend to ask that a lot since I do it in class to get the foals to open up.” “It’s okay,” Ribbon said. She tasted the lemonade. It was bitter but cold at least. “For the record, most are students but a few are my nieces and nephews.” “I guess that’s why some of the photos were taken at the Ghastly Gorge nature reserve,” Ribbon said. “I do love to take the little ones out on trips.” Cheerilee looked even more pleasant when talking about foals related to her. Her body relaxed and she smiled more. “Where is Big Mac?” Ribbon asked. “Is he out?” Cheerilee nodded. “He’s working at the farm. But it’s okay. He’s not a big talker. A bit of a silent type but I don’t mind.” She must have thought about him because her tail twitched on its own. Ribbon frowned. It sounded like bad timing. “Did you still want to talk about the future? Without him, I mean?” Cheerilee’s ears stood on end as if excited. Ribbon herself felt a bit excited as well. “Oh, yes…I do. Very much so! In fact, it might be better if he wasn’t here. He just tends to stare like a statue anyway. Besides, it’s hardly something he can relate to.” Ribbon tapped her hooves together and took out a notepad. “Is it okay if I write down my thoughts while we talk?” Cheerilee furrowed her brow. “What? Where’s your crystal ball? I hope you’re not abandoning your talent fully just because of that silly paper.” She fidgeted in her chair and looked genuinely anxious that Ribbon wasn’t going to be able to say much without it. Ribbon tried to sound as sympathetic as possible. She knew that her words weren’t going to be taken well. But she was still determined to say them regardless. “I’m afraid I can’t do that anymore. Predicting things…I mean.” “You mean you’re just giving up?” Cheerilee said in dismay. “I’m hardly doing that. I want to help you but I can’t do it like that. I can’t foresee the future. It’s not something I can do or have ever been able to do.” Cheerilee started to sob. She held a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. “Ribbon, you’ve told me what I needed to hear before. Why can’t you just do it again when I need you?” The mare’s trembling voice pulled at Ribbon’s heart. She wasn’t used to it and it didn’t put her at ease. “I only told you what you wanted to hear,” Ribbon said. “But I don’t do that anymore. That was in the past. What you need is for me to tell you the truth. Not the truth molded into some mock prediction but the real thing even if you don’t like what it looks like.” After Cheerilee wiped her cheek, she stood and gave Ribbon a steely gaze. Ribbon froze and held her breath. She thought she was going to be kicked out then and there but instead the mare turned and walked towards a door. “Wait there,” she said flatly. She didn’t necessarily look angry but she closed the door without concern for its impact rattling the pictures on the walls. Ribbon considered that maybe she had made a mistake. Sure, she wanted a change, but was it worth losing a friend over? She had never seen Cheerilee completely lose her smile like that. To appear so empty. Who would forgive her if she was wrong? Only a minute passed which was why Ribbon was startled when Cheerilee entered the room without a word. She carried a small horseshoe box. It was tattered and discolored. She set it between them and sat down. “I wanted you to see this. Without a crystal ball, this is the next best thing,” Cheerilee said. Ribbon looked at the box. “What’s inside it?” Cheerilee sighed wearily. “Just memories.” She took several photographs out and laid them on the table. There was a little foal in them. A little Cheerilee to be precise. So small that she was in a little bed on top of white linen. She was asleep in all three. Ribbon peered closer and noticed that there was a tag on the little bed. A bright orange tag with Cheerilee’s name on it. The date was from some year before Ribbon herself was born. She couldn’t make out the rest. Then Ribbon noticed that for a sleeping baby, she sure looked restless. She had grey spots under her eyes and her arms were thin. A white stuffed bear in the bed looked brand new. “Why did you want me to see this?” Ribbon asked. Whenever she saw pain and suffering, her heart often physically ached and even felt heavy. That was no exception. If Cheerilee herself had the same pain then it was well hidden. “When I think about the future, I see myself back at that hospital. Still less than a year old,” she said. Cheerilee then told Ribbon about how she had a rare form of immune deficiency when she was a newborn foal. They didn’t know it until she got sick one day. They had to rush her to the hospital. She was so weak that she couldn’t eat and had to be fed mechanically. She had lost color in her face, her hair started falling out and she turned thin and brittle. Back then, treatment for the disease was limited and if it wasn’t for an experimental drug, she may have not survived. She wondered what her parents thought as they took those photos. The ones that could have been her very last. By the time she finished speaking, Ribbon was holding Cheerilee’s hoof. “They say that the thing which triggered the deficiency…was probably passed on from my mother,” Cheerilee continued. “I’ve been putting off having a foal of my own for years. I know he doesn’t look the part but I realize that Big Mac loves foals. He might not understand the dangers of me having one though. I don’t know how he would react.” It all sounded so familiar to Ribbon. Did everypony have something they were afraid of their loved ones knowing? “If he wanted a foal no matter what, then what would you do?” “I was willing to have one of course. But with nopony knowing for sure about genetics and all that, I knew of only one way to find out the future and that was you. Until then, I wasn’t going to do anything to risk having a foal. Big Mac could hate it all he wants but I had no choice.” She smiled a bit but still sobbed and had to use more tissue. “I don’t know genetics but I still want to help you get through this,” Ribbon assured her. “How? You can’t help with the future,” Cheerilee said curtly. She withdrew her hoof and placed it in her lap. “You’re right, I can’t,” Ribbon replied, sighing. She got up and went to the window and looked outside. It was anything but melancholy outside. A sheet of hazy sunlight glowed after a light rain. “My sisters are the ones you should ask. They can predict pretty much anything. Where you are likely to tread and even whether to take an umbrella out or not.” She then turned around and gave Cheerilee a serious look. “But don’t ask them whether you’ll regret it. Regret is always the past and that’s what I think you really want to deal with. Isn’t it, Cheerilee?” The mare shrunk in her chair and cringed as if scared. “I don’t know. What if I can’t?” Ribbon went next to her again after taking one of the photos. She lifted it so the mare could see it. “Then that part of your past will always be your future.” Cheerilee seemed to break down after that and started to cry fully. They stopped talking and Ribbon patted her back while all of it was let out. Being the youngest of three sisters, she had never done that before. To be the one comforting somepony in their time of need. It felt even better than making a hundred fake predictions. Because unlike them all, Cheerilee’s crying was something real.