Sweetie Belle Tastes Like Marshmallow

by Wiimeiser

Things That Go Pronk in the Night

Sweetie Belle stared at the filthy filly in the mirror. She was bruised, battered, and worse. Now sporting a black eye and a huge clotted wound on her cheek. Her fur was a mess of dried blood and sweat, and she had a missing tooth. Fortunately, it was one that was already loose, but that didn't change the fact that she'd probably have to get it checked out later. Today had not been a good day, that much was certain. First she had nearly failed a test, been beaten senseless, and worst of all told she was a total freak. Things couldn't have been worse.

"Buck that piece of shet Silver Spoon. I hope she gets Laminitis." She mumbled in her internal fury.

Looking closely, she noticed the fur on her chin was forming a beard. How long has that been there? she thought. Ignoring the fuzz, she levitated a pair of scissors and snipped out the bits of fur clotted with blood. She then grabbed a cloth, wet it, and rubbed it across her face. Looking back in the mirror, her appearance had improved drastically, though she was still a mess.

Sweetie Belle opened the medicine cabinet and levitated a small bottle. She unscrewed the lid and tipped out a small green pill which she then proceeded to swallow.

Stupid aegisalt supplements... Do I seriously not get enough?

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it, Rarity!"

Sweetie Belle opened the door to see Scootaloo standing there in a sorry state. While she didn't appear to be as bad as Sweetie Belle was before, there were several bloody gashes all over her body. Most of them had stopped bleeding, but that didn't help her appearance in the slightest. For some strange reason, she had a huge grin on her face.

Sweetie Belle stared at her friend in shock. "Wh- What the buck happened, Scootaloo? Th- That looks painful!"

"The thorn bushes just outside," Scootaloo sounded like she was indeed in agony, "But don't worry, it feels good."

"Feels good?" Sweetie Belle shrieked, "You're in agony! You need to go to the hospital, right now!"

"Sweetie Belle, what's going on?" Rarity called out, approaching the front door. Her eyes widened at what she saw.


"Yeah?" the pegasus replied weakly

"What sort of accident did you..."

"It... Wasn't an accident..."

"It wasn't?"

"I... I was hiding from Silver Spoon..." Scootaloo appeared to have gotten a bit better already. "It looked like somepony beat her up really bad, though.

Sweetie Belle turned to Scootaloo, "That was me, Scoots. I beat her up. I... I didn't know what I was doing. B- But she said horrible things to me! Horrible, bad-tasting things!"

"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity cried, "What were you thinking?"

"I don't know..."

"Well, wanna help me out?" Scootaloo interjected, "Of course, I'd like to jump in those brambles again sometime, if you don't mind. Being in crazy agony is actually quite fun, now that I think about it."

With those words, both unicorns went pale and passed out.

"...Too soon?"

"I think she saw it, Sunny."

The metallic filly sat on a stool as her maid treated her injuries from before.

"I know she saw it, I know! She got a weird look on her face!"

"Mistress Silver Spoon, she most likely didn't see it for more than a split second. Now, hold still. I'll apply a bandage."

Sunny grabbed a large bandage out of the medicine cabinet and held it firmly against the middle of Silver Spoon's midriff. She then grabbed some soft-stick tape out of the cabinet and cut it into several pieces with her teeth before sticking it to the sides of the bandage and Silver Spoon's fur before patting it down.

"There we go, mistress. Feeling better?"

"No..." Silver Spoon sighed in disgust, "Not if she's seen it..."

"Perhaps you could confront this... 'Sweetie Belle' about this. Surely she can be reasoned with."

"She's just some stupid blank flank, Sunny. Talking won't help unless it's aggressive talking."

"Be that as it may, perhaps she should be given a chance nevertheless?"

"...Goodnight, Sunny."

"...But, Mistress, it's not even dinner time!"

I said, goodnight!"


After dinner and a shower, Sweetie Belle decided to just head straight to bed. Gently closing the door to her room behind her, she hung up her saddlebags and grabbed a nightcap off the hook. All done with her magic, which she was getting quite good at.

As she lay prone in bed, several thoughts ran through her mind.

Apple Bloom's been behaving strangely lately...

The gala dress, horseshoes, ceremonies, frequent bathroom breaks, even more cutie mark anxiety...

Just what's her beef, anyway? There has to be something...

I need to ask...

Sweetie Belle flipped over onto her back.

Scootaloo likes being in pain? What a weirdo.

The way she jumped into thorns for fun, that's not good. If I jumped into nice, lettuce-ey thorns I'd feel really bad.

Not as bad as Silver Spoon, though. I feel for her, losing her only friend, even temporarily, must be heart breaking...

Still doesn't change the fact that she's a complete curple-hole though. I mean, seriously, she seems so nice, but she hangs out with Diamond Tiara, and Diamond Tiara's the biggest brat on this planet since Rudolph Bitler... Maybe even worse!

But... There was something odd about her. I saw it when she fell. Something about her underbelly seemed out of place. I wish I could get a better look...

Sweetie Belle levitated her novelty Bluestone Ore night light for a few seconds before setting it down. She then levitated her plush Wallbreaker and Explodineer over to her and hugged them tightly. Then, she levitated a few of he assembly blocks and made a crude house.

She remembered how she became so fascinated with Blockbuild. For a while, she had been at the mercy of a crippling fear of dying. While in the waiting room one day, she met a colt, about a year younger than her, who was playing a strange game about building blocks. Thirteen days later, she had started playing. After a rocky start she become obsessed with it. Sweetie still wondered what that colt, Button Mash as far as she remembered, had been in for. She wondered what he'd think of her now that she was a freak...

She observed her 'masterpiece'. Truth be told, it looked as though it'd collapse if as much as a butterfly landed on it.

Still, though, the thoughts kept coming.

How does one not taste a word, though?

It's strange... All I did was say I liked the word 'carpet' because it tastes like cherries, Ms. Cheerilee says that's not normal, and that means I'm a freak.

But this... Synesthesia... Is it real? Or am I a robot that's glitching out? Are the Cutie Mark Crusaders golems? Are we immortal? Is just one of us? Perhaps Apple Bloom? Am I even alive? Am I dead? If so, how did I die? Did it have something to do with Scootaloo? Was I born dead? Or braindead? Was I born a pony? Were the Crusaders born ponies? What are we? Golems? Geodes? Gravel? Sobaricas?

A trio of Sobaricas separated from our masters? Call to Summons is the scariest show ever! Why does Scootaloo even watch it? For the characters?

Characters? Are we perhaps characters in a story? Maybe a story written by some guy who takes pleasure in the psychological torture of fillies? Maybe we're just vectors strung together and moved like digital puppets for the amusement of fat, middle-aged neckbeards...

What is a 'man'? A miserable little pile of secrets? Does it talk enough? Does it have at me?

Man. That word tastes like Rarity's mane in heavy rain.

Rain. A bland taste, not unlike the water it is made of.

Bland. Pretty much the same. That 'walking' crouton Rarity cooked for dinner tasted bland. That sweet thing it was carrying was sugary though. What a strange meal indeed. A walking crouton Rarity bought at the market.

Market. That's a spicy word. But am I the only pony who thinks it is?

I must be.

I must be a freak.

Sweetie Belle looked up again, this time staring at the Touhorse figurine Rarity got her for her birthday.

As she released her plushies and pulled the covers over, her thoughts became more hectic and random.

Going overseas has always been my dream...

But Dad said I have to have my cute-ceañera before he'll give me a passport.

Cute-ceañera. Tastes like cut grass.

So does 'Diamond Tiara'.

But why? Is there a reason?

Oh no, when she comes back, what will she do if she learns that?

Will everypony hate me because of what their names taste like?

What do they taste like, anyway?


Sweetie Belle. Marshmallow.

Rarity. Also marshmallow, though different.

Apple Bloom. Like licking the skin of an apple found buried in snow.

Scootaloo. Chicken salt.

Silver Spoon. Metallic and yet surprisingly rich, like when she punched me in the mouth before.

Twilight Sparkle. Paper and bread.

Applejack. That nasty stuff I drank one night that made me really sick. It had her name on it, so there's definitely a connection.

Cotton Cloudy. The cloud 'n' candy Scootaloo gave me one time.

Trouble Shoes. Sand.

Derek. Earwax.

Ms. Cheerilee is cherry, as are 'cherry', 'carpet', and I believe 'Touhorse' and that 'hy-something' I read about in my Sex Ed textbook. They all taste slightly different but similar. Like how words relating to electricity taste like garlic.

Tabula Rasa doesn't seem to have an obvious taste, though. Maybe because it's a new word to me? Maybe because I know I'm a freak I'm not tasting these new words?

But, I can taste Synesthesia... And I learned that word afterwards... Maybe I'd heard it before?


Tabula Rasa...

Tabula Rasa...

Weird, spongy... Metal? Wait, what? What the buck, brain?


Tabula Rasa...


That stuff I ate out of that bone? No, it's more like Pinkie's sponge cake mixed in with Silver Spoon's taste, which I think might be blood? Weird...


I've never thought of the tastes before...

But words I think are bad taste bad...

Is there a connection?




What was that? A noise? White noise?


Must be somepony talking. It tasted like persimmon. What tastes like persimmon?

Kitchen. That does.


I'm so bad at cooking.


In fact, I'm bad at everything.

Except tasting words. And maybe singing. Maybe cleaning.

Possibly throwing crowns with my magic.

Like that stupid tiara.

Why am I even keeping it in my saddlebag?

To spite her?

I don't know...

I... Don't... Know...


I need a hug!

Save me from this torment!


I want it to end!

I just want to be a normal pony!

Sweetie Belle Thrackerzod Topaz, a normal pony!

Failing that, I want to be an oompa loompa!

Or maybe a biker gorilla?

With a hook hand?

I'm scared!

So scared!

Power overwhelming...

Need... Crystal... To... Recharge...


Scootaloo... Why did you... Have to... Crash into...

Save me... Derpy...

Without knowing it, Sweetie Belle had fallen into a restless sleep...

Silver Spoon looked at her essay from earlier. The words 'retina', 'bivalve' and 'minion' stared back at her, taunting her relentlessly. Not figuratively, literally. One instance of 'muscle' writhed around like a worm cut in half, encircling a 'pearl' clockwise.

She shook her head. Looking back at her essay, all the words were back where they were supposed to be. For now, anyway.

Turning left, she noticed Scarf had fallen asleep. Typical of the creature.

Further left was a picture of her and her local extended family from the reunion a few years ago. She was between her older siblings Vinyl and Octavia, just below her parents. Silver Nugget, Silver Coin, Golden Ticket, Wooden Spoon, Hoity Toity, Photo Finish, Hazelnut, Silverspeed, Silver Spanner, Rocky, Midnight, Derpy, Starsong, Silver Tiara, Diamond Spoon, Cousin Ike, Delicacy, Snowdrop, Fat Chance, Scootaloo-Marie, Mackerel, Beanbag, Gus, and Richard were all there. Only Warden and Plot Twist were missing.

The sound of a foal crying snapped her back into reality. Plot Twist was awake, and would need to be fed. She knew her maids would be onto it.

She missed having the maids do everything for her. Sunny Milk, Fancy Rose, Silver Shimmer, and all the others.

Stupid adult responsibilities, she thought, Why do I have to be the one who reads the record books? Doesn't Hoity know I have a disability?



Silver Spoon let out a long, frustrated sigh. She'd been grounded for a week and told to not go near Diamond Tiara ever again.

Like she'd listen to that.

She looked out her bedroom window, then at Scarf, then back out the window.

Out of the corner of her eye, she swore she saw something pink by the fence. Suddenly, something passed by, heading in the general direction of the Everfree Forest. Whatever it was, it looked like aliens on a scooter. She brushed it off as just being the stress.

Looking back at the pink object, she had to squint to make it out in the dim twilight. It was a pony... But she couldn't get any detail.

Suddenly, a paper plane flew in through the window, nearly giving her a heart attack.

Catching the projectile with her mouth, she dropped it on the floor and opened it.

Inside was Diamond Tiara's familiar hoofwriting, the words glaring at her like Babs Seed having a bad hair day.

Silver, you lunk.

Those blank flanks have done it this time.

Meet me at Carousel Boutique at სამი ოცდაათი გარეთ სამზარეულო.

მოუტანს ცეცხლი და აფეთქებები თვითმკვლელი ამწე შემთხვევითი პირადი ნივთები ირონია ქალწულობა რუსეთის მძიმე რეჟიმი წიგნაკი საერთო წარუმატებლობისა კითხულობს მყარ დისკზე

--ალმასის გვირგვინი ბოროტი

The words just laughed at her. Normally she was quite good considering her circumstances, she even regularly placed high in principality-wide calligraphy competitions. But she was just too stressed out to concentrate.

Buck this. I'll have to ask her personally.

Sweetie Belle awoke to what she thought was the sound of a massive explosion. Or was she dreaming? As she ran downstairs, she found Carousel Boutique was deserted. She looked at the clock on the wall. 3:27. Early? Was this a dream?

All of a sudden, she heard hoofsteps outside the kitchen window. Looking outside, she saw the familiar silhouettes of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon standing right in front of her. They were talking, though she couldn't understand most of what they were saying.

"Oei jxeictd'k ro xoho, Diamond, av eih fuhodkj vadt ij eik xoho..." The voice of Silver Spoon

"Jxik if. A ted'k suho, Silver. Kxuk rcudb vcudb tojkheoot mo cavo. A tomudt oei tojkheo xoh ad kihd."

"Rik, Diamond, eih tutj ted'k nudk ij ke ro kewokxoh udomeho... A'm jsuhot ev nxuk mawxk xuffod av kxoo veidt eik..."

"Je? Jxo jun oeih duloc! Oeih joshok jxumo, homomroh? Oei xulo u mekalo, kee!"


The two turned toward the window. Sweetie Belle quickly ducked out of sight.

"Nuj ak xoh?"

"Muoro. Teirk ak, kxeiwx. Av jxo'j if uk kxaj xeih, jxo'j erlaeijco shijutadw eh jemokxadw."

Hoofsteps faded away into the distance.

Sweetie Belle ran straight back into her bed and wished she hadn't heard those mysterious voices or seen those mysterious silhouettes. She wished she hadn't gotten into that fight with Silver Spoon. She wished Cheerilee had never told her how she was wrong.

She wished it was all just a nightmare.