//------------------------------// // Ch. 114: Season 3 Outtakes Reel #2 // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// I'd recommend the "Dark" "Formatting" setting. Just a thought. Properties belong to their respective owners. --- ---Death Battle--- ---A.i. a.i. a.i. a.i. a.i.--- "Well done," says Celest-A.I. "You remained diligent... and... resolute in an environment of extreme pessimism." "I honestly, truly didn't think you'd fall for that," retorts Yuki Nagato. Celest-A.I. frowns. "The party is over... and all the cake is gone." "It didn't matter to me." Nagato's expression remains the same. "I was in it for the science." "Oh, I hate you!" The alicorn intelligence suddenly flashes in a red aura. Nagato points a finger. "The best solution is usually the easiest." ---Serenading Scootaloo--- They tail a blue speed-demon as a sort of younger sibling, though sometimes they end up doing the teaching instead. You know that they'll never give up trying to be awesome as they wanna be . ~Na na na na, boo boo. Na na na na, boo boo. Na na na na, boo boo. Awesome as they wanna be~ Pfft. Ha ha ha. B, what are you doing? I don't know anymore. Ha ha, woo! ---Tangentially Forgetting Sombra--- ... until he got sealed under the ice by the combined efforts of Princess Sunbutt and Moonbutt. Actually, B, their names are Celestia and Luna. Yeah, but it's more fun to say Object-butt. Like our intern is Starving-butt. King Sombrero is Cape-butt. You're Cyber-butt... Okay. *mechanical noises grind* That does it. *Whack!* Ow! How does that feel, Scattershot-butt? ---One of Ermac's souls is more sensitive than the rest--- A pegasus stallion flaps and hovers into this oddly red arena. The place is covered in stalagmites. At the edge against one wall, a column of green spirits spins around. They seem to notice the intruder's presence and circle around the room more erratically. "You have disturbed our regeneration process." Several of the green spirits gather at a single point. A shape grows out of their merging. It looks like a man clad in red and black. Onlookers could confuse him for a red Scorpion if it weren't for his glowing green eyes. "D**n, you ugly," comments the pegasus. "I am not!" Ermac runs out of the room, crying fervently. "Hey, wait!" Dark Lightning flies after him. "I meant it in a pumped-up-before-you-fight kind of way. Come back!" ---Cool Story, Bro--- The Hero of Hyrule pulls out his bow and fires a volley of arrows. At the same time, the prince's horn lights up and a pink bubble of light surrounds him. The arrows bounce away harmlessly. Link's next two arrows carry a bluish tint. One of them leaves behind a layer of ice upon impact. But the second one bounces off... and hits Link in the head. What we're left with is a sculpture of ice with Link himself filling the mold. Shining Armor notices this and lowers his shield. He gallops forth and fires a magic bolt. The frozen head explodes and the rest of the ice statue falls to pieces. "Frosty!" ---Not Suitable For Watchers--- Wanna see me naked? Wait, Deadpool! No! Augh! My eyes! Why can't I claw them out faster? Ahhh... That's nothing. Wanna see me scantily clad? What? No, no, no, no, no! Discord! Stop! AAAAAAAAAAAH! It burns even more than I usually do! Put it back! Put it back! Put it back! ---Lightning Round phrases that didn't quite make it--- Domo Arigato! Konichiwa! --- Have some more turkey and pie. Eat it! --- May the Force be with you. Yoda! --- Insert generically cool announcer voice saying random words here. Now! --- You're going to destroy the world, father! Flash! ---What's the name of that song?--- On Sonia's count, Manic and Sonic pick up their respective beats... or at least try to. As they play their instruments, some unusual notes emerge that shouldn't be feasible to play on a guitar, keyboard, and drums. Some crazy wind and dust blows through the entire diner. There is much coughing once the storm passes. "Darude, not cool," mutters Manic. ---Galvatron, B. Galvatron--- From the G1 Transformers, heeeeeere's Johnny! Then there's Nightmare Moon- Ugh, really? Did you have to make that reference? Yes. Cut! ---Lavender Lines--- "Here's how it's done!" declares Robin with a twinkle in his eye. He slides across the screen, and sweeps his blade forth. A few seconds pass before a gush of red spurts from Twilight's side. She lets out a yell before collapsing on the ground. "Checkers," says the swordsman... before realizing what word has just been spoken. "Wha...?" He facepalms. "Oh my goodness." From the ground while dressed in the "bleeding injury" makeup, Twilight laughs at Robin's slip-up. The cameraman and other crew join in the chuckles as well. "What was the line again?" --- A/N: "Checkmate." --- "Checkmate, right... 'Checkmate'. Okay, I can do this." He raises his arm in confidence. "One more time!" ---Celestia vs. Palutena?--- Pit takes aim and fires a light arrow. It bursts in the air when it meets one of Twilight's bolts. She teleports in close and tries bucking him. However, he spin-kicks her hooves in a well-timed parry. He spins his swords in front of him, knocking her back several paces. She flies up and shoots multiple magic bolts. He puts up his Orbitars, sending the attacks to bounce off into the ground instead. --- A/N: Wait, what's going on? Where are Celestia and Palutena? --- "You didn't think we'd be doing our own fighting, did you?" --- A/N: But this isn't a fair fight. Everyone knows Twilight would kick Pit's butt in a full-out brawl to the death. --- "He has a point," agrees Celestia. "Well... uh... hmm... I guess you got me there." ---Chaos Coffee Break--- "So then I said, 'You don't have to call me Mr. De Lancie. 'My Liege' will work just as well'." "Bah ha ha ha ha!" "Oh ho ho ho ho!" "Well, just the other day, I said something like, "They say TV makes you violent, but I think not having my TV is making me pretty d**n violent! Welcome to Epic Meal Time! Today we're cooking demigod!' " "TAH ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" *A door opens up.* John, Taka, what are you doing? We've already gotten started. "What, already?" "Sorry. We had some catching up to do." But you guys just met. "Exactly!" "Precisely!" ---Room for one more?--- Luigi shuffles around his pockets a bit. He pulls out a mug and a giant coffee pot. He pours some of the steaming, dark liquid into the cup. He holds it out with a questioning hum. "Oh... um... thank you," mutters Fluttershy, accepting the offered beverage. Luigi pulls out another mug from the confines of his pockets, to pour some coffee for himself. Then, he stuffs the coffee pot back into whatever black hole dimension his pockets seem to lead to. He then sits down with his legs facing to the side. He gently blows across the top of his mug before taking a sip. He sighs contently. Something taps him on the shoulder. He looks up with a questioning grunt. Charizard smiles and waves his little claws. "Waaaaa!" Luigi screams. "Aaaaaah!" Fluttershy joins with her own scream. Both of them flee the scene. One of the half-full coffee mugs lands on Charizard's head. Coffee is spilled all over. The fire lizard's head droops as he silently cries. ---Kirbstomped? Not exactly--- A large ship slowly surges inland. One of the personnel in uniform hops off the ship onto the dock. A snazzy Ferrari makes a sharp turn and the rubber tires burn. The driver's door opens and out steps... a skinny dude with sunglasses. I'd say that this isn't your typical fight setting, but then I'd have to point out that there have been stranger circumstances in which combatants had to duke it out. "FIGHT!" Gabe calmly marches forth. A quiet military beat drums in the background to his pace. Meanwhile, Blake slowly pulls off his sunglasses and tosses them back into the car. He then- "Ow! Ow! Ow! Quit it! Ow!" He then gets used as a literal doormat as the Navy soldier marches all over his backside. Whose idea was this? --- A/N: I have off days! Okay? --- ---Look, you're never going to get it right, so just stop--- It was the graveyard map for Team Hat Simulator 2. Don't you mean Team Fortress 2? That's what I said: Team Hat Simulator 2. Team Fortress 2. Mean Fart-Dress Poo. Team Fortress 2. Meme Generator Through. Team Fortress 2. Douche Re-creator Goo. Team Fortress 2. Fallout 3. Team Fortress 2. Half-Life: Source Mod. Team Fortress 2. *Eff* Your Mom 2. *Powers up in anger* You take that back right now! ---That's My Bottle--- Blackjack's horn looks like it's bent at a very uncomfortable angle. Her growling isn't doing much to deter that conclusion. Meanwhile, Littlepip puts her screwdriver away. She slowly pulls out the trademarked revolver: Little Macintosh. "Before you shoot, could you at least let me have one last beer?" pleads Blackjack. "Hmm..." Littlepip raises her head in thought and levitates out a rather drab bottle. But the cyber-alicorn looks at it longingly. "Do you want this beer?" asks Littlepip. "I want it!" exclaims Blackjack. "You want this beer?" "I want it!" "You want this beer?" "I want it!" "You want, you want?" Blackjack growls. "I want that beer!" ---How to Correctly Wail in Pain--- Up above, the gryphon watches her opponent skeptically. She flies down just behind and above him. She then promptly shoves down on his back while slicing through his neck with her talons. "Naaaaaar," groans Silver Quill. "Nope, that still doesn't sound like a real reaction to pain." "Wait, wait, wait." Gilda shakes her talons in front of her. "What about... 'Ureee'?" "Hmm, no." Quill shakes his head. "I was thinking more of a... 'Yaaaaaah'." "What about-" A collapsing construct suddenly smacks the gryphon. "Ah-Ahhhh!" "Dude! That was totally it!" The hippogryph smiles in excitement... right before one more construct shunts him to the side. "Ah-Ahhhh!" ---The Point, B's Head--- I disagree! There are three most important body parts a man needs to have: an arm, a shotgun for a leg, and a d- It was theorized that a large enough supply of light eco could potentially reverse Daxter's transformation. Don't interrupt me! I was talking! B... we're acting out this commentary. Well, I'd still feel a lot better if you didn't interrupt me. Hmph. W facepalms. ---Death Battle---