//------------------------------// // 2 - Retrofits and Holy Handlemons // Story: Upon the Sea of Sky // by Meep the Changeling //------------------------------// Captain Ruby - 3rd of Leaffall ‘09 EoH - Morning The Enterprise creaked as her keel settled into the cobbled together dry dock the crew had whipped up from debris and the old dock. In Pine’s own words she was an older ship, and well, since we were essentially transplanting a village of miners, we may as well take advantage of the mine’s stocks to replace older metals, do a few renovations, get the crew deck more livable, take on any supplies we could, that sort of stuff. Lyra said we could also work on improving the guns, drop some sheetmetal across the hull, and make other improvements. Which gave me the idea to get Pine to actually, you know, train the new crew we were taking on. Half an hour later, I was drawing up a sketch for an epic cast iron pony skull to mount as a figurehead on the ship, while the ship touched down into a dry dock for a full overhaul. No, not the ship, that was not the proper description of what was happening here today. This was my ship, and those ponies outside were my crew! I stood up and trotted out of my cabin. There was a flame burning in my chest which I needed to share with everyone, well, everypony. My ship and my crew, on a quest of the utmost importance. This is what it felt like to make history, not simply live through it. I threw open the cabin door, hopped onto a railing, grabbed hold of a rope to study myself and looked out over the thirty seven ponies below as they made sure my ship was sturdy. In a movie, this would be where the captain belted out a rousing speech. I took a deep breath and- “There you are!” Lyra called, running over. “So I’ve got an idea for… are you okay?” I nodded, hopped down onto the deck and gave her a sheepish grin, “Yeah it’s all good. What’s up?” “Well, part of the problem with the current canons is they’re well, linear, we can't aim them. If we rework the guns to pivot slightly on a ratchet system we can focus fire on one area instead of just blasting to either side. Furthermore, given what you said we are up against, some forward guns would be a good idea. For now I could rig up some ballista to fire rocks, but if we can get the cash together I could make larger versions of Gretta on swivel mounts. “That would take a lot of thaumaturgic current though, more than I, the only unicorn onboard, could provide by charging gemstones. The Kingdom of Equestria to the south uses a harvester spell to collect current from ley lines to power it’s arcane devices, I could reverse engineer that but we would need to build a room onboard to safely house the… eh, let's call them magic batteries. I could rig that up right now, and it would let us build more magical devices later.” That seemed like a great idea. “I like it! We could install some boosters or something. This girl is a bit sluggish. Maybe some maneuvering jets, we could go all Kerbal on this thing!” Lyra laughed and nodded, “That was one idea I had. I’m sure Risky could use the power supply to do something crazy with it as well. At least when she’s done with the equipment project you have her on anyway. I’ll get on finding a few carpenters to make some room on the aft of the orlop deck, if that’s alright.” “Erm,” I blushed slightly, embarrassed as I asked, “Where exactly is that?” Lyra raised an eyebrow, then facehooved and asked, “You just stole this ship didn’t you?” “Yeah.” I admitted. “I just hope you can learn the ropes from Pine… She’s definitely a sailor.” Lyra sighed. “Okay, so, two decks just below your cabin. That’s where I was talking about. “That sounds good, power supply right in front of any engines we add on is a pretty good idea, less modifications needed and less power lost during transmission.” I said looking over the deck, noticing for the first time how many cracked and worn planks made it up. “How long should repairs and modifications take?” “Probably about two months,” Pine called, flying into view overhead, “‘course I’m factoring in getting that lot shipshape.” “Is there anything we should focus on first?” I called curiously. “Yes. We should reinforce the hull. This girl is designed to be supported by the water, not floating in the sky. I’m pretty sure it would hold up over time, but better safe then sorry right?” Pine said as she hovered up around the- “What are the sticky-outy bits on the mast called?” I asked, needing to know before the question started bugging me too much. Lyra and Pine facehooved in unison. “Spars captain, they are called spars.” Pine groaned. “I only live in a port town and even I know what they’re called!” Lyra objected. “Captain, for the next few weeks how about we have lunch in your cabin and I talk you through ship anatomy and operation?” Pine offered. “That’s probably a great idea.” I said with a nervous chuckle. “Why the hay are you not in charge of this thing?” Lyra asked looking up at Pine. “Because she stole it from me fair and square. Also I hated the job, but love the occupation.” Pine pointed with one hoof to the group of bat ponies milling about on the dock, “You know what you are good at captain? Music. Why not play something to motivate that lot into getting started with the repairs?” That was a good idea, also just a little insulting. “Yeah, sure.” I hopped back up on the railing, focused my magic and summoned up a guitar, then realized I knew absolutely no motivational songs, or ship building songs. “Oh crap…” I mumbled to myself. I couldn’t not deliver something rousing now. My reputation as someone useful was one the line. I would have to improvise something, and quick! I closed my eyes to think. We were upgrading a ship. A flying ship. Ship, flying, like a starship. Hey starship! Like the band starship, they had that song about building- Oh god, I couldn’t remember the lyrics! “Hi captain!” a random blue maned pony called from the dock, giving me a friendly wave. Fuck! I was just standing here too long! I looked like some asshole just creeping on everyone! “I, uh, thought I would give you all a tune to work by!” I shouted to cover up the fact that I had just been standing here for who knows how long trying to remember obscure 80’s pop rock lyrics. “Save me Alestorm!” I muttered to myself deciding to make a medley of the first band that opened into my head. I quickly slung my guitar into position, and strummed the first few bars of The Quest. As the notes warbled out across the sky, I felt much more comfortable. As the crowd of ponies below turned towards me, I focused my magic, casting Ghost Sound to provide the rest of the song’s instruments, then launched into the vocals, singing as best I could remember, twisting them to better fit the situation. “From lands across the sea we have returned once more \\ With countless treasures plundered from those distant shores \\ But now the time has come, our destiny at hand! \\ With cannonfire and battlecry we will reclaim this land!” The rest of the song was not really appropriate, so I quickly shifted songs, playing the chorus for Heavy Metal Pirates. To my amazement, the entire crew started to sing along. “We are Heavy Metal Pirates \\ We sail across the sky \\ In our battleship of cosmic steel \\ We're the terror up on high \\ We are Heavy Metal Pirates \\ Our cutlasses are true \\ So give us all your treasure \\ Or soon we'll come for you!” From somewhere, I have no goddamn idea where, every single one of them produced a cutlass to thrust skywards at the line ‘our cutlasses were true’. Confused, but unwilling to stop this spontaneous musical number, I moved to the next verse. “The wind is in our sails, and fate is on our side. \\ So raise the Jolly Roger and sail into the night. \\ We'll sail for freedom, the winds in our mane \\ No quarter for the villains, we'll bring 'em death and pain.” Three ponies in the crowd suddenly had eyepatches, a good number of them worked out a little dance which couldn’t have been better if we had rehearsed it. I gave up trying to make sense of anything and threw in a bit from Wolves of the Sea. “With a hii hii hoo and a hii hii hey \\ We're bound to be close to the sea! \\ Our captain will stand on the bridge and sing, \\ ‘Pirates are all we can be!’ \\ With a hii hii hoo and a hii hii hey! \\ We're hoisting the flag to be free. \\ We will steal the show, Jolly Rogers go. \\ We are ponies of the sea!” As I returned to Heavy Metal Pirate’s chorus, I almost dropped my guitar in shock. Pine had a parrot on her shoulder. Where’d she get a parrot?! This was the freaking arctic tundra! When did those bat ponies get into the deck and rigging? I hadn't seen anypony move! I wanted to stop playing, but I didn’t dare to, gods knew what chaos would transpire if something broke this… whatever it was! Spell, curse, hex, or maybe I just rolled a twenty. I decided to quickly finish the medly up with a bit of Set Sail and Conquer before somepony- nope never mind, a few had tricorn caps now. “We set sail at first light, \\ Questing for steel with power and might. \\ Set Sail and conquer - On a quest to distant lands! \\ Set Sail and conquer - Destiny is in our hands! \\ To the heart of battle ride - The gods are on our side! \\ We'll sail and conquer 'til we die.” I quickly finished up with one last rendition of the chorus, ignored the numerous sashes everyone got from the ether, threw down a quick guitar solo, gave them a bow and hopped off the rail. Very, very slowly I backed into my cabin, doing my best to ignore how everypony was just going about their business like nothing had happened, and everyone hadn't suddenly gotten pirate stuff. “Yeah, my first Heart Song was creepy too.” Lyra commented as I passed her enroute to hiding in my cabin. “What?” I asked, begging her with my eyes for an answer to what in the actual fuck just happened. “You know, what just happened. It’s rare, but sometimes the entire Celestia damned town will just launch into a musical number.” She giggled. “Then they just stop and resume their day. They don’t even remember it.” “How?” I begged. “I don’t know. It’s probably a World Spell.” She answered with a shrug. “Why?” She shrugged again. “I think a wizard did it. You know, for fun.” “But… where did everypony get-” Lyra shook her head and threw her hooves up in the air, “Beats me! The first one I saw was when they built me a house, in like three minutes, and it was nice!” “How come we remember it?” I demanded incredulously. “I think it’s because we aren't native Equines.” Lyra mused thoughtfully. “I’ve noticed all six times I’ve been in one.” “I… I’m going to go lay down for a while.” I decided opening my cabin’s doors by walking into them backwards. “Yeah that’s what I did too.” Lyra giggled. Dracony - 3rd of Leaffall - Midday My name is Dracony, I’m half-dragon half-pony. I have a very powerful, strong, duty bound dad, and an irritatingly nice pegasus for a mom. Both of whom are terribad at picking a foal’s name. I live in a lair in a volcano, which is almost as bad as my name sounds. Oh no, not because of flowing magma, or toxic gas, or other volcanic hazards. It’s a dead volcano, has been for about three thousand years now. Which is why it sucks to live here. The fire within the mountain is dead, the rock died with it. Specifically, I live in a small room off of the main chamber carved out of rock and completely plated in a nickel-cobalt-titanium alloy. Why the metal plating? Granite melts at 1260°, and they know I can burn through it quickly enough. Did I say live in? More like, held prisoner in. I’m sure a lot of people feel like their parents hold them prisoner. I should probably clarify that mine actually do. Like literally, hold me prisoner in a melt-proof (so far) room in the house. A room that is precisely 1956.562944 cubic meters in volume on the coldest day, and 1956.5630192 on a warmest day of the year. I know. I measured. Like, at least a thousand times, maybe more. Either way, there is a shitlode of datapoints available on my room’s metal expansion due to temperature. The room is entirely featureless aside from a my claw marks on the floor and a nice, shiny black charring on every available surface. The claw marks are not from like, me trying to dig my way out or anything. They were from well, just wear and tear over the years. I spend most of my time in here. In their minds, my parents have a good reason for keeping me locked up. It’s not because I’m dangerous, it’s because I don’t want to take over the family business from dad. whenever somepony slays him that is. Then takes the hoard we use to make ponies think there isn’t anything more valuable in the lair. It’s a guardian of the shrine type gig. I don’t want it. So I left. Five hundred thousand, eight hundred and thirty-two times. So they lock me up. Kinda like a back up guardian in a can. I just don't think I could handle sitting on a pile of coins until something kills me. Which is what they want me to do if dad dies. Which I really doubt he will, because I’m pretty sure that nopony even knows what Black Blood is anymore, let alone how to crystallize it and coat a weapon with it. Nothing else will kill him for more than a few minutes. I know, I’ve tried. No not while trying to escape (usually), but for practice. I used to not quite understand how long forever was, and was into the whole ‘family buisness’ idea so we would take sparring matches which only ended when I killed him. Then dad would self-revive thanks to the chalice and say he was proud of me, blah, blah, blah. Then I turned four hundred and realized how long forever is. Oh my Whoever-the-alicorn-of-fire-is, I do not, I repeat, I do not, know how mom has handled living as long as she has. I don’t know how I have handled living as long as I have! Stupid ageless spell in the family blood line… Well, that’s not true. I don’t mind living until entropy finally gets me or somepony kills me (I haven’t drank from the fountain in the basement yet. So still kinda mortal. Sorta. A little. Why haven't I? So I’m still able to leave the cave. Duh.). The real problem is after spending forty-two hundred and forty-two years as of today in one god damn cave you get very very bored of that cave! Maybe I could stand it if there was stuff to burn in here. Ah, fire! So pretty, always different, no two flames ever shaped the same as they dance, spreading to all they touch by making sister flames and growing from a pale flickering spark into a raging inferno. Comforting, warming, beautiful, yet also deadly, destructive, and terrifying to my enemies! Not that I have enemies, but I wish I did. They would certainly liven things up. I’d burn them with fire for amusement. Or maybe make friends! Friends would be nice. They would need to be fire proof though, or we couldn't sit in the forest and watch it burn. What? Forests are supposed to burn! Every ecosystem has its own fire regime, and the plants and animals in those ecosystems are adapted to or dependent upon that fire regime. Fire creates a mosaic of different habitat patches, each at a different stage of succession. Different species of plants, animals, and microbes specialize in exploiting a particular stage, and by creating these different types of patches, fire allows a greater number of species to exist within a landscape. That’s right! Burning down forests is a good thing! But did mom listen? Of course not! That's when I lost ‘outside privileges’, like I’m a freaking fourteen year old instead of… well somepony who should have died of age like more than thirty times by now. Unless I would live longer than a pony, I do look more like a dragon than a pony. I need more data there really. That’s just a hypothesis. It could be only one death due to age. Or less. Dad’s not sure how long he would live naturally. Anyways, the rapid oxidation of a material in the exothermic chemical process of combustion is the greatest thing ever, so I devoted my entire life to the worship of Whoever-the-alicorn-of-fire-is and burning things. It’s paid off! I’ve never gotten to talk to Whoever-the-alicorn-of-fire-is but I can feel a power there, burning, whenever I seek his or her comfort. No, I’m not crazy, I can ask that power to do things for me, and it does! Almost every time. I can even sense fire I shouldn’t be able too if I concentrate. Like the smelter in the village at the base of the volcano. Like every last lamp in the village, every candle, every hearth, every cooking fire, every last coal. Not in so much as I could feel their warm, I simply knew they were there, how many of each kind there were. I spend a lot of my time using this ability to sense flames while I imagine what their fires look and feel like. It’s my meditation. So when the entire village exploded into a sea of fire last night I felt it instantly. I could feel the air warm in my room as the burning village increased the temperature in the freezing air for who knows how far! I spent the entire night smashing my claws against the door, demanding to be let out. The village was burning! I needed to see it, I needed to see the flames dance, watch the ash flutter through the sky, to feel the heat of the flames. Also the ponies would probably like to not burn to death, and I was fireproof. I could just go pick them up and put them someplace that wasn’t a paradise. Did one of my parents open the door? No, of course not. They never think about what I want, it’s not what they want, so why would they let even a single neuron wonder about it? The small window in the door squeaked. I could smell my mother’s scent as she opened it, but I didn’t bother turning to face the window. “Did you hurt yourself last night?” She asked in that tone which suggested she cared. “I chipped a claw. I’ll be fine.” I answered. It was simpler to just reply. She would go away faster if I did. “I know you wanted to see it, but your dad didn't want me to have to go after you again, and we both know you would have run off again. You’re the next Guardian of the Shrine, you need to accept that.” She bullshited. “You could have another kid. Also he’s never going to die, we are all certain dad’s particular vulnerability no longer exists outside of our knowledge of it and he cursed us to only be able to mention it to each other. He’s going to live until this world ends and the shrine is destroyed by the passage of time. There is no reason for me to be kept here.” I said. Again. “You never know. A single dusty old book and a greedy pony could leave the Shrine unguarded.” mom sighed. “Except, you know, for you.” I sighed, “You’re stronger than dad is.” “What if they beat me? Knock this earring off and I’ll age to dust in a heartbeat. I can’t fight. You need to accept your destiny.” I rolled my eyes. Again with that argument, as if an earring you welded onto your ear just comes off in the slightest breeze. “Maybe I would if you let me go somewhere for just a hundred years or so. It’s not like time matters to you.” I recited. “That’s not what you are meant to do dear. Please, learn to live with reality!” My left eye twitched violently in it’s socket. “Live with reality? I’ve been imprisoned by my parents for so long, I can’t remember what the sky looks like!” She sighed that long, sad, mom sigh of her disappointment. “Honey, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade.” Make lemonade? I turned around and gave her my best fierce dragon’s glare. “Just for that I will burn this door down, with a lemon! I will pray until he or she gives me a combustible lemon that burns this door down!” She rolled her eyes, “There is no Alicorn of Fire, and they don’t grant prayers.” “Combustible lemon, door burned down, I’ll never be back.” I promised. She rolled her eyes at me and slid the window shut. I sat down on my haunches, closed my eyes and focused. For once in my life, I needed to make contact. However long it took, I would continuously beg to be heard until I was. I had all time to try. Captain Ruby - 1st of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Noon The newly refurbished Enterprise sat in the drydock. She was no longer the simple wooden vessel the twins and I had commandeered, she was a wonder of magical engineering, and the pride and joy of her whole crew. Two month’s of hard work from everypony went into this days launch. We took her guns and worked out a system to aim each one through the gunports independently. We built two massive ballistas on the bow to fire cannonballs forwards, and another two in the back. We had defensive capability in all directions now. The defenses were shored up as well. Risky loved Lyra’s idea for an arcane reactor and the two collaborated on the project, as a result there was plenty of power for enhancements to draw on. The sheer number of defensive enchantments she worked into the ship was staggering. Five different kinds of energy fields could surround the ship at a moment’s notice, walls of force to seal the entrances to below decks during attacks, The entire ship was covered in protective wards for the crew to make it hard to hit anyone on the ship if you were off the ship, massive black clouds could be generated to work like a smoke grenade… Engineers and Wizards make great inventing buddies. The crew had helped even more in my opinion. Turns out bat ponies can manipulate shadows like clay, and use them to weave ‘spell circuits’ into objects which when powered by unicorn magic, provide magical effects. With their help, we had covered the entire hull’s outside with a grid of rope, which Risky transmuted into a layer of carbon nanotubes after I told her what they were and how they worked. Then the crew used most of the iron we salvaged to plate the carbon nanotube reinforced hull with ablative iron plates, and enchanted them to work like the reactive armor on an abrams tank. So if we were hit, the plate would explode in a shaped charge and negate the impact, and an impact to the same spot later would probably just dent the hull. Which again due to the reactor and bat pony awesomeness would slowly heal over time as if the wood were alive. They also helped me in bringing my fantasy to life by having an epic pony skull on the bow. Then they improved it by making its eyes burn with purple fire and enchanting the mouth to amplify sound to use like a massive megaphone for anyone standing on the bow. Turns out if you burn down a bat pony’s home she gets very angry. So when you tell them you are pretty sure the pony responsible is helping to bring about doomsday, and you're out to stop them, well, they make you epic hull armor. Pine had them whipped into what she insisted was ‘proper shape’ by the end of the first month. She had me there a week later. She also oversaw most of the repairs and refits. That poor mare must have been in three places at once for the entire last two months. I’m glad Lyra had taken a liking to her, the two weren't exactly dating, but we all expected them too. After all her hard work and how willing to help she had been she deserved something nice. It seemed like everyone deserved a little reward actually, even me! I don’t say it much but sometimes I manage to do something actually great. Last time, it was improving the solar charging system on a friend's RV. This time, it was taking a broken people, and giving them purpose. My crew had lost their entire lives, most of them had lost a loved one, their village had been home to a thousand ponies. The first few days they had been running on adrenaline and fear, after that panic, depression, and despair had set in. I spent most of my free time talking to ponies, playing tunes, mitigating the damage Genesis had done to them. One by one, I made them feel welcome on my ship. I gave them purpose, to stop the monster who did this, whoever she was working for, and become wealthy enough to retire anywhere in the world by the end of the quest. I fixed thirty seven broken people, and made them strong again. As Pine put it ‘You earned your hat captain.’ My reward was already decided. I would let myself return Risky’s love. It’s really hard to snuggle with someone for more than a week and not start feeling things for them. Hell, I’d never taken advantage of Tess’s open marriage policy before. She had a dozen times. Someone wanted me for a change, the spouse who thought I was dead wouldn’t mind, and I had earned a bit of fun in the evenings. So had Risky in fact. Not just because after two months I knew she liked me for me and my looks, but because thanks to her my crew wouldn’t starve. As well as being armed with weapons we could use on anyone without killing them, that also protected us from most harm. She had even begun teaching spells to a few of the crew who she claimed showed aptitude. Though apparently that had been Lucky’s idea. Everything was ready. The ship was ready to take on a whole fleet, and we had the plan all figured out. Step one, we needed the rule book Discord had given Taylor. If we were going to win, we needed to know everything about our powers I was certain Taylor still had it, so we were going to get it. That would be a bit tricky because I had decided I wouldn’t be revealing who I was to anyone until I knew a way to ensure Grogar couldn’t just kill me again. Step two of the plan was to find a way to contact the DMs directly. They had a plan, they were subtly guiding us to accomplish that plan, and they had failed. How had they failed? I didn’t know for sure, but I had died, and I saw one of them plead with Death to let me live because they needed me. That mean the GMs were not in full control of this ‘story’. Forces could work against them. We needed to know exactly what had to be done, because their planning stunk. It was time to let the players tell this story. In game terms, the plot railroad needed to jump the tracks before they got me killed again. Or anypony else with the power to help stop the end of the world died. Step three was easy, learn about the threat and make a plan to stop it. So that was less of a step in the plan and more of a what to do next. Hell it wasn't really a plan when I thought about it, it was more of a ‘figure out what’s happening and what to do about it.’ That wasn’t a plan per say, but more of a reflex. All that said, it was time to get moving. There was a long way to sail before we reached the Badlands in Equestria. After we arrived there, an even longer road would lie ahead of us. I snapped my wings open and flew up, landing on the bow loudly enough to draw everypony’s attention. “Alright girls! Release the moorings and weigh anchor. Somepony hoist our flag clear to the top of the mizzen so everyone can see her. We’re setting sail for warmer skies in ten minutes!” “Aye Captain!” thirty ponies chorused gleefully. As I watched the frenzy of activity to free the ship from the dock I couldn’t help but smile. That feeling I making history was back. Somepony - 1st of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Noon “Ruby is finally going to leave the ruins of Farriar.” I informed. The others looked at me in mild surprise. “She is? About time!” Three cheered. It had been my duty to watch over Ruby while she repaired the ship. Everypony else had watched the other party or been searching for whomever it was who was fighting against us. Thus far, we had no clues to their identity, other than they were controlling the remnants of the Tribunal indirectly. “So I suppose you want me to keep watching them while they sail to retrieve the book?” I asked. Everyone nodded, and in that moment of silence, that faint buzzing sound which had been filling our cave randomly through the last few months came back. Five groaned and put her hooves over her eyes. “Oh dear Luna… Somepony find it this time!” Everyone got up and searched around the cave, pushing our meager possessions aside, looking under books, stacks of our notes, and even in tossing aside our bedding. It was probably a futile task, it never buzzed for more than a minute and would be gone for hours at a time after that short- “Found it!” Three called, “It’s a… Discord, is this your phone? Someone's calling it.” “What the hay is a phone and why is it so annoying?” Five demanded angrily. Discord floated over to three and picked a small black plastic rectangle up off the ground. “It is my phone, this was created by my magic… Which is especially weird, since ponies haven't invented these yet and I haven’t made myself one. But it is.” Discord tapped the rectangle with a claw and held it up to the side of his head. “Discord speaking, Spirit of Chaos, reformed and retired.” Everypony besides Three looked on in confusion as Discord of all people suddenly sprouted a completely confused look. “No, this isn’t the Alicorn of Fire. Do you mean Celestia? Actually hold on, how are you even talking to me?” he demanded in a confused yet excited voice. “You’re meditating? Missy, you’re ‘meditating’ has got me on the line. That’s not just meditate- You devoted yourself to the Alicorn of Fire and are channeling their power to try and- wait hold on, you’re a Cleric? How!” Discord pulled the device away from his ear and tapped a glowing section of one side. A female pony’s voice filled our cave instantly. “I don’t know what a cleric is, sorry. Could you please let this… Celestia talk to me? She’s in charge of fire right? I’ve been trying to talk to him or her for two months now.” The voice informed. “Celestia is the Princess of the Sun, not fire. I’m afraid you can’t talk to her. She’s… not available.” Discord said calmly. While signaling five to start writing the conversation down. “Oh well then that’s fine, I don't want to talk to the pony in charge of two or more the collisions of atomic nuclei. I need to talk to whomever's in charge of exothermic energy release via rapid oxidization. I’m trying to break out of prison so I can go… heck I don’t know, anywhere. Everywhere.” she said. “I’m sorry but there isn't an alicorn princess of fire.” Discord said carefully. “Well, if there is I don’t know her. I suppose there has to be, you are channeling something’s power to talk to me.” “I am? I mean you can sense the energy too?” she asked eagerly. “Then he or she must want me to talk to you! I need a lemon which can burn hot enough to melt a nickel-cobalt-titanium alloy door three inches thick.” Discord blinked, then grinned wider than I had seen anyone smile in three years. “You need a combustible lemon?” “Yeah. It’s a spite my jailor thing. She told me to ‘make lemonade’.” “Just a minute, I’ll be right back, chaos stuff.” Discord quickly said before tapping a button on the phone. “Girls,” Discord said, still smiling, “I can’t not grant that request. It’s too good! I have no idea who that is, or how she’s a cleric, but one thing is clear. Whoever is fighting us must have given her her class levels. If we can befriend her…” I nodded realizing what he was saying, “We gain an ally and hurt our enemy. Good plan… Do you have the power to give her what she wants?” Discord shook his head, “No. Our spell is taking too much of my magic to maintain. But if we all work together we can give her the knowledge of her class levels and how to work them, and since she has the fire domain and therefore can throw firebolts, I can make those look like lemons that explode.” Five and one nodded slowly, “This could be a trap.” Five muttered. Three nodded, “Yeppers. But well, it could also be a stroke of luck! Besides, she sounds friendly!” “From what I can sense she is a cleric devoted to the concepts of fire and friendship.” Discord informed helpfully. One stood up and nodded again, “Alright, let’s do it. If she agrees to help us.” Discord tapped the device again. “Are you there?” “Yes. Will you help me?” came the reply in a pleading tone. “Probably. What's your name?” he asked politely. “Dracony. Yes, I know. It’s a terrible name. Dad’s bad at naming things.” Dracony sighed. “Well miss Dracony, where are you?” Discord asked. “In a volcano lair next to a village called Farrier. Dad lets the villager’s mine under it.” Everypony’s ears perked in alarm. Then I realized something. The other DM, the one we were fighting had messed up. Dracony must have been meant to meet up with Genesis, but for some reason had not! The forces of evil were still rounding up their party. We had an advantage! “Farriar!? What luck!” Discord exclaimed. “There is a ship about to leave that village, it’s captain is working for some friends and I to try and save the world. If you join them I will-” “Question: Is the world going to burn?” Dracony asked interrupting. “Well, no, it’s not going to just burn up. I mean there will be fire and lots of it but that’s not the real problem.” Discord admitted taken aback. “Then I’ll help! I could really go for an adventure! I’ve been stuck in here forever. A ship works for me too, anything to get away faster than I can fly. So what’s the deal? Who or what do I light on fire for you?” Dracony asked. “Well… I’m not allowed to say. A rule is you need to figure out who the threat is. The ship is captained by a bat pony mare named Ruby. Tell her you are a Cleric and the gods said to help her on her quest. In a moment you should feel new powers awakened within you. Good luck and… if you ever figure out how you called us let me know. Goodbye.” Discord tapped the device. Shook his head, shrugged and made the ‘phone’ float over to Four. “Check this for any magic besides my own. We might be able to discover who our enemies are. But before that, let us engineers make Cave Johnson his Lemons.” Three giggled and flashed us all a grin. “I always thought Twilight would be the first one to make those!” Dracony - 1st of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Noon I felt it immediately. My connection to her deepened, i could tell the Alicorn of Fire was female now. Her power came to me far more clearly. It’s every working filling my mind. I had done it! I lay on my belly as if bowing and whispered, “My Lady, though my voice did not reach you I am humbled to know you have answered my prayers, and really stoked you are helping me spite my mom by answering prayers. I shall burn thy enemies to cinders forever.” Proper thanks given, I stood up on all fours, carefully pulled myself onto my hind legs, wings opening for balance, and conjured a lemon into my left claw. I moved to throw it, but paused as I realized I could do far more now than simply light a fire. I paused again as I noticed it had a small fuse in one side, like a bomb would. This lemon was a weapon, and my Lady had the power to embody my weapons with magic. I had but to utter the right prayers. The door wouldn’t even know what hit it! I raised the lemongrenade up above my head, closed my eyes, and began to bless the lemon with every spell I thought might work. “Oh Lady of Flames, bless this thy lemon, that it might burn thy enemies into tiny coals, in thy mercy, amen.” A orangish red light flared in my claw. I lowered the lemon, blew a thin jet of flames to light the fuse, pulled my arm back to throw… “One, two,five! Er- Three!” The lemon sailed at the door and struck it with a satisfying smack. There was a blinding blaze of pure white light, a tidal wave of heat, and with a lion’s roar of flames the door as well as some of the walls around it transformed into a glowing pool of slag. I couldn’t help but squee. “Hey mom! That was the sound of life rueing the day it thought it could give Dracony lemons!” I shouted as loudly as I could. “Right, bolting now.” I said to myself. The next sound was my claws scraping stone as I sprinted down the tunnel to freedom. Also fire, lot’s of fire!