//------------------------------// // Hey Jealousy // Story: Hey Jealousy // by Ruirik //------------------------------// “Another round, miss?” the barkeep asked, taking the emptied stein of cider in his hoof. I didn’t answer him, at least not immediately. My attention was more focused on the worn bar surface, dark stained wood waxed to a tacky finish and smelling of years of spilt drinks. “Sure.” He dutifully dipped my stein under the tap and pulled the handle. My ears twitched as fresh cider poured into it. I muttered a curt thanks when he slid the wooden vessel in front of me and observed the delicate foam that leaked down the sides. In the reflection on the surface I could see myself, teal coat contrasted by my unkempt amber mane. Sloppy. With a sigh, I took the mug in hoof and pulled it to my lips. The crisp cider flowed over my tongue, though by now I was far past tasting it. A pair of bells chimed when the door opened, and I was vaguely aware of the hoofsteps approaching the bar, and coincidentally myself. “Evening, ma’am,” the barkeep greeted the new pony. “What can I get you?” “Cider, Apple Acres Special, if you got it.” I know that voice. My eyes grew wide and my jaw set. The distinct rasp had grown more pronounced over the years, and she spoke slower than she used to, but I would never forget that voice. How could I? The barkeep moved to get her a stein and I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my head. I pretended not to notice. This wasn’t the kind of reunion I really wanted to deal with right now. “Lightning Dust?” Well ponyfeathers. I craned my neck around and frowned. She had the same ragged mane, streaked with the colors of the rainbow and the cocky magenta eyes I remembered. The blue uniform, black necktie, and the polished silver wings pinned to her chest were new. “Rainbow Dash,” I said in an even tone. “How’ve you been?” Again I shrugged. “What’s it to you?” She was silent for a few minutes, and then took a step closer to the bar. “Just curious, I guess.” The temptation to tell her where to shove her curiosity was borderline irresistible; I managed to reign it back, however. Well, just a little bit at least. “You have fun with that.” Rainbow chuckled, though I suspected it wasn’t out of genuine amusement. She gestured with her hoof to the stool beside me. “Mind if I sit here, at least?” I shrugged my wings. “It’s a free country, isn’t it?” She sat down just as the barkeep slid her cider across the bar. I took another drink and pondered if I should just get up and leave. Hoping desperately that it wasn’t too late to find a hotel room in Manehattan and Rainbow wouldn’t follow me home like a lost kitten. Rainbow glanced over to me a few times and fidgeted with her stein. I knew she wanted to say something. Probably to rub it in how she got me booted out of the academy. Immediately I flinched. I knew better than that. I had for a long time now. “So…” Just go away, I mentally pleaded. But Rainbow didn’t move; she just sat there, nose down with her eyes occasionally glancing at me now and then. “What do you want, Rainbow?” I asked, finally sitting up and looking her in the eye. Her ears twitched and she seemed to pause for a moment. “Well, Dust, I was just wondering what you’ve been up to. It’s been…what, five years now?” “Almost eight,” I corrected her. Rainbow nodded. “Time flies.” “You’re telling me.” “Can I ask you a question?” How about no, I really wanted to say. “You can ask.” “What happened to you?” she asked, her voice growing softer. “You never reenlisted at the academy. You just… well, disappeared.” “I got thrown out, remember?” I snapped at her with a bit more venom than I had meant to. “You made some mistakes,” she said, holding up a hoof defensively. “Both of us did.” “But you’re part of the Wonderbolts now,” I pointed to the silver wings on her uniform. “Primary flight team, too.” “And what’s that make you?” I took a drink of my cider only to feel the last of it trickle down my throat. “Just another weather mare.” I said, pushing the stein away and motioning to the barkeep. “Another.” “Put it on my tab,” Rainbow said. I shot a glare at her, but she hardly seemed to notice or care about it. “I don’t want your money.” Rainbow looked me in the eye and for a moment I felt my resolve falter. “It’s on me.” Stop being nice! I don’t want you to be nice! “Why?” I asked, and took my refilled cup in hoof. “For old times sake,” Rainbow said, lifting her drink to her lips and taking a swig. “You were the best rival I ever had.” The simple comment gave me pause, and I found myself at a loss for words. Rainbow chuckled and slid her mug across the bar until it tapped against my own. It made me jump a bit, then sigh. “So were you,” I finally admitted. “Maybe…” I sighed, wiping a hoof through my mane and letting my wings slacken. “Hmm?” Rainbow looked over to me, curious, but with patience I didn’t remember her having. The look wore me down, and as much as I kept trying to remind myself that I hated her, I knew the truth. More specifically, I knew exactly who had bucked everything. “If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago…” Rainbow didn’t say anything, which I was grateful about. We both took a drink, and allowed silence to settle between us. The record in the jukebox clicked over to a different song, one that brought us both to bob our heads in time with the music. Seconds turned to minutes, and those minutes seemed to stretch further still until nothing left remained. “What happened, Dust?” I paused, my teeth biting on my lower lip for a moment. “A lot.” Rainbow nodded, and again, she waited for me. Dammit… “I used to hate you, you know?” I finally admitted. She glanced over at me, seemingly unsurprised at the sentiment. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” Rainbow drained the contents of her mug and I did the same. She motioned to the bartender, who dutifully took our emptied steins and refilled them. Rainbow slid her glass against mine again, and then took a sip. “I went home that day and I cried like a foal. I cursed your name, I cursed Spitfire, I cursed the Wonderbolts. I spat on their names, ripped down my posters and threw them into the winds.” Rainbow simply nodded, her expression carefully neutral. “Then what did you do?” I shrugged. “I took a job with the Manehattan Weather team as a mobile lighting wrangler, something that would let me fly as far from Cloudsdale as I possibly could.” A smile pulled at the corners of my mouth as I thought of my time in the skies. “I flew all over Equestria. Manehattan, Baltimare, Vanhoover, and pretty much every town in between. “I wanted to fly until it stopped hurting, you know? Until I didn’t feel shame every time I looked at my face in the mirror.” I sighed, my head lowering until it met the tacky surface of the bar. “I never could fly far enough.” “Did it ever stop?” she asked. The question gave me pause, and as I drew myself back up from the table I rolled my tongue across the inside of my cheek. “Yes… And no.” Rainbow’s brow quirked upwards and her head tilted to the right. “What do you mean?” My tail twitched and I smiled. “I was at the park in Vanhoover, and I met this earth pony.” Reaching up, I placed my hoof over a silver locket wrapped around my neck with a matching chain. “The stallion that would become my husband, actually. And the father of our son.” Her eyebrows shot upwards and her wings flitted at her sides. “Wh—really? That’s amazing, Lightning!” She grinned brightly to me. “Congratulations!” “Thanks,” I said, rolling my cup between my hooves. “What are their names?” she asked, twisting her body around to look at me directly. “What does he do?” “Mason is my husband, Live Wire is our son.” My heart fluttered at the very thought of my family. It was a feeling I had still haven’t grown used to, and I don’t ever want to. Some feelings, after all, were far too good to get used to. “Mason works in architecture. He takes commissions for sculpted busts and works on the decorative carvings you see on buildings.” “That sounds pretty awesome.” “Wire, he’s only just got his cutie mark a few months ago.” I felt no shame for the proud smile that crossed my face from ear to ear. “He’s very creative, loves tinkering with our radio.” I laughed quietly and shook my head. “We had to buy him one of his own, he kept taking ours apart and trying to rewire it.” Rainbow chuckled and winked at me. “Always making trouble, eh? Definitely has to be yours.” “Oh shut up,” I laughed, smacking her shoulder with my hoof. “What about you? I hear your name a lot. How’s the life of the rich and famous?” She paused for a moment, and then answered with a simple. “It’s… different.” This time it was my eyebrow that arched upwards, and I turned in my seat to look her in the eye. “What? Don’t tell me you’re living the dream and don’t like it.” “No, no,” she shook her head adamantly. “It’s just…well,” Rainbow sighed, her hoof rubbing at her forehead. “I feel like I’m stalling.” “Stalling?” “Yeah,” she answered, that same hoof sliding up and through her mane. “It’s the same routines, the same canned interviews, the same flight teams. There’s just…well, I feel like I’m losing my passion.” “Look at you,” Rainbow said, her wing flexing towards me. “You’ve got a family, you get to fly free, even if it’s back and forth from the same cities. For me it’s just ‘routine A, with flourish B, C, or D.” She shook her head slowly and sighed. “I envy you in a way.” “So change it, then,” I said. “I can’t change it,” Rainbow answered. “Only the Captain gets to call the routine.” Her head lowered a bit and she gazed into the empty stein. “Pff,” I scoffed to her and waved a hoof. “Geez, Dash, you never could see the forest through the trees, could ya?” “What do you mean?” she asked. “Fly harder, earn your Captain’s wings, then you call the shots.” I smiled to her, though I couldn’t help feel a sadness I hadn’t felt in years settle in my heart. “Be the lead pony I was never cut out to be.” For a few minutes Rainbow was quiet. Then, she seemed to smile, and reaching to her breast, Rainbow plucked the silver wings from her uniform and set them on the table before me. I stared at them for a long time, the polished luster seeming almost too bright in the dull light of the bar. “You’d be a great Wonderbolt,” Rainbow said, a sad smile on her muzzle. “I just wish I could fly with you again.” I shook my head. “Maybe a few years ago,” I said with a smile. “But that’s past me now. I’m running the team here, I got a family to go home to, and I’m happy. Rainbow chuckled and nodded. “Hey, we’re doing a practice flight tomorrow at the Manehattan Stadium. I can get you in, if you like.” The offer made my heart freeze and my eyes grow wide. “What…I mean… well,” I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t know, Rainbow.” “Just come, tell the security at the front your name, and that I said you’re good to come in. Bring your family too!” “I… I’ll think about it.” Smiling, Rainbow nodded and finished her drink. “It was good to see you again, Lightning.” “You too, Rainbow.” With that, Rainbow placed some bits on the bar, more than enough to cover both our tabs and then some. I sat there, my eyes affixed to the silver wings before me for what felt like hours before I managed to slide off my seat. Placing the wings in my bag, I made the short flight home. Both my husband and our son were fast asleep by the time I got back, and I quietly moved into Wire’s room to check on him first. He slept with his back facing the door, and I smiled hearing his gentle breaths in the silent room. Careful not to wake him I moved to the side of his bed, pulled the covers up a little higher, and nuzzled his short, golden mane. He shifted in his sleep, nuzzling into his pillow while his forelegs squeezed his favorite toy, a stuffed rabbit my mother had given him, close to his chest, its gray fur meshing against his brown coat. Satisfied he was sleeping well, I kissed him between the ears and moved out of the room just as quietly as I had entered. In our room I found Mason exactly where he was every night: snoring away facing in the direction of my empty spot. As I slipped into bed beside him my mind raced with memories of hairpin turns, death defying dives, and pulse pounding races. I nestled my cheek against his chest, listening to the steady drumbeat of his heart. In the morning, I spoke to Mason, and gave Live Wire the wings. I’ll never forget the joy on his face and the way he bounced on his hooves when I told him about ‘mommy’s old friend.’ And together we decided to make our way to the stadium. He rode on my back, asking if he could get wings like mine some day. I told him I loved him just like I loved his father, earth ponies though they were. True to her word, Rainbow had spoken to security, and they welcomed us in and guided us to a nice viewing spot on what was normally a private box. The wonderbolts overhead were out of uniform, and I spotted Rainbow at the head of her fight team. Come on Rainbow… I thought, watching her work through a normal routine. The maneuvers were basic and the speed was only fast enough for earth ponies and unicorns to be impressed. I could see her boredom, even from so far down. Then something changed, she pulled ahead of her wingponies, and after a moment they flew faster as though to give chase. That’s it… She led them up, higher, and higher, then twisted around and fell towards the earth with thunderous speeds. Her wingponies gave chase, pushing themselves to keep up with her. Rainbow took advantage of the speed, moving from the basic loops, spins and twists into complex patterns, close flight pass-bys and impromptu races. Standing on my hooves, I hollered a loud cheer to match that of the grounded team, support staff watching, and my family. Fly!