Twilight Sparkle was not usually what one would describe as a "violent" pony.
Her actions were controlled, deliberate. She thought before she acted and prided herself in her personal ability to reason.
Everypony she came across agreed that she had a certain authority over her own emotions and acted with decorum in a manner that would make a mare of twice her years proud.
However, on this particular day, all Twilight wanted to do was gouge Discord's eyes out. Violently.
Twilight grimaced, her mind racing as she sorted out the words in her head. Discord had lost it. That’s all she could take away from the experience. He was so far gone, she no longer had any hope of him returning to sanity, if he was ever there to begin with.
“Tsundere indeed,” she muttered, moving her books to one side and gazing at the now blank desk. “I’m not tsundere.”
Not that she could find any information on the subject. All those terms and phrases he'd used...so pointless. For all she knew, they were just plain gibberish.
But that was simply maddening.
"Why would a pony say something if it didn't have any point?!" she cried, dramatically throwing herself onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.
She could just picture his smug smile, hanging right above her. "Tsundere," the incorporeal image seemed to sneer at her. Twilight closed her eyes and shook her head rapidly, dispelling the image.
As a filly, there'd been plenty of methods she'd researched that curbed her temper and brought her to a more satisfactory disposition. None of those methods seemed to be helping at present.
She turned over and rose to her hooves, trotting towards the door. Maybe taking a stroll would clear her head. At least it would prevent her from obsessing on a certain unattractive, insufferable, buffoon of a pony.
Her hoofbeats slowed as she neared the arch, her ears shooting straight up. Was it...raining? She tilted her head to the side. Maybe she had missed the weather update, but she could swear ponyville wasn't due for any storms for at least another month...unless... Dreading what she would find, she slowly pulled on the door handle.
"DISCORD!" Twilight shouted, her face turning red as she stomped out of her castle. Her mane was instantly drenched, her flank heaving from the sheer rage building up inside of her. How dare he do this? How dare he?!
Puddles of murky brown liquid and bulging clouds of pink fluff filled the landscape, blocking out the much-needed sunshine. Everywhere ponies were running for cover or covering precious valuables that would be ruined if this continued for much longer. One of the flower ponies knocked over a pot in her haste and then promptly fainted.
Gritting her teeth, Twilight truly considered the benefits of an eyeless draconequus before taking off at a gallop. He's always causing damn problems. First the harem and now this? Is he trying to revolt against Celestia?
The purple alicorn slid to a stop, her chest heaving, her coat drenched, and her eyes flashing dangerously as she gazed on the most bizarre sight she'd ever seen.
Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony, was wearing a black blazer with a high collar, a pale pink umbrella held delicately above his head as he stared across the street. His face slowly turned towards hers, his eyes widening in shock as if he didn't know her.
"All right, Discord. What's this about?!" Twilight shouted, taking a fighting stance. Half her mind was already thinking of several different ways to remove his eyeballs without permanently maiming him. Other than the lack of eyes, of course. The other half was absolutely revolted that she was even considering such a drastic notion. But he did have that effect.
He hesitated a moment before holding out the umbrella. "Here. You're soaking wet."
"Because of you!" Twilight said. "Make the rain stop!"
"The rain? The rain is beautiful," he said, looking up at it a moment before looking back at her. "Just like you."
Twilight flushed, unsure of how to react. What the heck? Her mental image wavered. "Discord..." she said uncertainly, then steeled herself. "Make the rain stop. Now."
"You're so feisty! I love it!" he said, breaking character for a moment before straightening his tie with his paw. "Take the umbrella. I don't need it."
"DISCORD!"
"Or we can share if you're worried about my safety."
"DISCORD! Turn off the rain!"
"Silly Twilight," he said pleasantly. "I don't control the weather." He held out one of his paws and let the rain lightly splatter onto his palm. "No one can predict the winds of change. And the fate that brought you to me."
"There is no fate! You're completely deluded!" she growled. So this was about what he'd said the other day. "There are ponies who are being significantly put out by your antics. Me included. Turn. Off. The. Rain."
"I'll walk you home," Discord said, ignoring everything that she'd just said.
That was the final straw. "HIYA!" Twilight shrieked, bucking him with her hind legs.
The draconequus put his arms in the air, the umbrella falling from his grip as he stumbled forward then landed on his behind in the middle of the road. Twilight was rather stunned. She'd thought he'd move or...something...but now he was just sitting there, arms clasped around his middle as he seemed to gasp for breath.
"I'm okay," he wheezed, putting up one hand as if to indicate that blunt force trauma was completely natural.
Twilight turned bright red. She didn't know exactly how to act given this strange scenario. Her anger pittered off into the back of her mind as she hesitantly walked towards him. "I...I'm sorry," she choked out. "I...uh...lost my temper. Now could you please make the rain stop? This is getting old."
"Oh my Twilight!" With a shriek Twilight found herself lifted and pulled close to the warm, but coarse fabric of Discord's blazer. "Such character development. The tsundere is finally learning to admit that she was wrong to the man she loves!"
"I don't love you," Twilight growled, her ears flat against her head.
Discord proceeded to pet her head. "Oh, I know, Twilight dear. It's alright that you're not ready yet to admit how much you adore handsome old me. I mean, it's not everyday that you meet a pony as unique as I am. I appreciate the effort you're putting in but...well...unfortunately you're quite wet. You're going to catch a cold at this rate, but fear not, I shall nurse you back to health."
Twilight's nostrils flared and she pushed against Discord's body, trying to get out of his iron grip. "I don't want to spend any more time with you than I have to," she snapped. "And if I catch a cold from this, I'm going to..." She wasn't sure what she was threatening to do, but it was going to be something.
"Oh my, it looks like the rain is finally letting up!" Discord said, looking up at the sky. The pinkish clouds slowly moved out of the way, letting a sliver of sunlight fall directly on the two of them.
Twilight finally managed to wiggle her way out, hopping back down onto the waiting earth. She shook her mane, sending droplets of chocolate rain flying in every direction. "Well this was unnecessarily difficult," she muttered to herself, but since he seemed to be complying, she didn't have anymore complaints. After all with Discord-
"ACHOO!"
She fell back, startled by the intensity of her own sneeze.
"It seems you've caught a cold after all," Discord said in mock sympathy. "Don't worry, my love, I shall care for you through this trying time so that our love may flourish and grow ever stronger."
Twilight Sparkle was not usually what one would describe as a "violent" pony, but today was not an average day.
With a low snarl, Twilight lunged at Discord's face.