Gears drove through the expansive wastes, the sound of his big V8 rolling over the canyons and mesas that surrounded lonely road, Only being interrupted by the occasional gear changes.
Gears relished in sound of his beloved Coltus 351, it was a cheap, powerful two door muscle car that was marketed in the old world as a way for young colts to escape their parents quickly but within several (hundred) paychecks of somepony who worked at hayburger. The vehicles original paint was long blasted away after a lifetime of driving through sandy winds at 80 mph and completely replaced by rust. It was equipped with (as the name suggests) a three hundred and fifty one cubic inch V8. It had a large hood scoop which was badly banged and lost all of it original chrome that sat on a large blower equipped with a supercharger that sat idle. Lastly, much to Gears’s relief, whoever had originally bought this car sprang for the T top.
The Coltus hit a large pothole, its weak suspension shook the car. Gears grunted as soreness began to cover his flanks.The radio all of a sudden sprang to life and through some static loud bass notes began shaking the car.
Gears narrowed his eyes and brought his hoof down on the dash, ending the music. Today he faced blistering hot sands, crumbled pre-war buildings and had to mercy kill the only mare he had talked to in a month.
“Dubstep it the last thing I need.” Gears though out loud.
The sound of compressed air shattered his thoughts as a steel arrow stuck itself into his car’s trunk cover.
Gears looked into his rear view mirror and saw a group of large figures riding atop an ancient tow truck.
“Ohhh” Gears groaned. “That was the last bit of this car that didn't have any holes in it!” he shouted before smacking his head against the steering wheel.
“Ow,....I take it back, Diamond dogs are the last thing I need.”
Barks and howls of celebration overpowered the sound of the two engines as the truck of Diamond Dogs reeled it the Coltus.
“Fucking flea bitten Bone heads,....heh,...boneheads. Funny because their dogs.” Gears chucked to himself as he flipped a red switch on the dash.
The supercharger sprang to life and forced his engine into overtime. The revs doubled as the pipes bellowed. Turning precious juice into three things, smoke, noise and horsepower.
The Diamond dogs were thrown back by the sudden burst to speed, One fell off and into the sand. The Rest gripped the truck for dear life.
Gears looked back into his mirror and saw the Diamond dogs begin to panic, he began whistling a tune as his car and the truck began pushing 90. Gears then violently jerked the wheel which caused a jerk in the line the endided at the harpoon gun mounted on the Diamond dogs truck. The truck then was pulled onto its side by the Coltus, crushing most of the occupants and dragging it along the asphalt. It began Bouncing along the road behind Gears, dead limbs of the Diamond dogs flailing about in the mass of twisted metal.
“This is my favorite bit.” Gears Said out loud, he slammed his hoof down on the middle petal. Causing his brakes to lock up. The Coltus screeched and skidded to a stop, The truck bounced over the car and smashed into a billboard just off the road.
‘Ho Yeah! Three points.” Gears shouted, Lifting his hooves in celebration.
Gears killed his engine and stepped out. His Hooves clopped against the hot tarmac as he approached the wreck, weapon drawn. He eyed the upper half of a Dog the stuck out from under the scrap, Gears nervously poked it with a barrel of his Mauser, The dog Erupted to life with a massive whine of pain. The injured dog thrashed at Gears with all its might, Its claws ripping the air inches away from Gears’s muzzle and with blood flowing from its mouth.
Bang!
A 9mm round tore through the dog’s skull, ending it suffering.
“Let no one say I was unkind to animals.” Gears said out loud.
Gears then took notice of the fluid leaking from the mass of scrap, he scrambled back to the Coltus and opened the trunk. He pulled out several plastic containers and quickly placed them under the leaking wreak to catch as much juice from the ruined fuel tanks.
Gears then took a seat, a bit tired from the full episode his eyes wandered to the dead Diamond dog pinned halfway under the wreak.
“What's that?” Gears said to the dog, lifting a hoof to his ear.
“You can’t believe you just got your furry ass handed to you by a random pegasus wack-job?” Gears said continuing with his own personal play.
“Oh and you think i’m your daddy?” Gears then sprang to his hooves and began furiously kicking the dead dog’s head.
“Who’s your daddy huh? whos your fucking daddy!?” Gears shouted between kicks. Eventually the dogs neck snapped and the head flew free from its corpse and smacked into the left fender of Gears’s Coltus.
‘Oh you fucked up now.” Gears shouted “You gone and dented my fucking,.......CAR!” Gears furiously kicked the dog’s head several yards off the road into the sand.
Thus was the way Gears entertained himself.
“I’m a fucking sociopath I swear.” Gears said between breaths, I bit winded from in self produced show. After getting his breath back Gears spied something in the headless dog”s pocket.
“Whats this? you holding out on me you headless son’ of a bitch?” Gears rooted through the pocket and produced a tin can.
The faded label read “Dinky Doo Dog Food,” and had a image of a dancing little light purple and blonde unicorn filly under the wording.
Gears lowered his eyebrows at the possible meal and elected that it did indeed beat starving. “I’m still worried it will make me as brainless as you lot.” Gears shouted at the mutilated Dog.
“Heh, brainless, headless, Comedy just pours from me like shit from a cow.” Gears grumbled, placing the dog food into a tuckerbag he pulled from his Coltus.
Gears then grabbed some rags and wiped the wreck clean of fuel. The used funnels to pour it all into a external fuel tank above this trunk.
Gears was about to take off when he spied a cassette tape near the body of the headless dog, curious and anxious as good pre-war music is hard to find. leaving you to the mercy at Pon-3s who endlessly play dubstep over the one radio channel in the Wasted West.
Gears fired up his car and inserted the tape. As the song began, Gears chuckled and shifted into first, Propelling the Coltus Forward.
‘What a day what a day, Lets head back to the homestead eh?” Gears said with a smile, Turning his head towards the empty passenger seat.
“Dont talk much hm? suits me just fine,.....as nothing out here really does.” Gears said joyfully.
“Nothing out here really does.”